#fgjournal

Where do I even start? It’s been a few crazy weeks. Still crazy. It seems that no one but, Finn, Brittany, Sam, and Marley want to help Liam.  I get why the others are pissed. I am upset the Ms. Rose is gone too. Yet, that doesn’t mean they can write someone off. They are heroes. Heroes help those in need. Liam needs us.... he is being controlled by my father some how.  

I never realized how much there is to take care of and worry about when someone dies. I thought having to face Mom being gone and our house as well was bad enough, but then all of the real craziness began - insurance claims on the house fire and all of the property damage, having to figure out just how much stuff we had and what was lost, getting police reports... and this wasn’t even nearly as tedious as sitting through her will.

Gram’s really upset (angry, more than sad) that Mom didn’t write her or Grandpa into her will. I don’t know if maybe it’s just because of how things over the last few years have been or what, but she left pretty much everything to me in the event that something happened. Which seemed rather pointless to me since we already lost a house that we never owned in the first place, but I guess whatever insurance we had is going to cover for that. I’m not sure how they can replace things that can’t really be monetarily salvaged or replaced, but I’ve resigned myself to just focusing on the memorial service we’re having for her tomorrow. Anything else can wait.

This whole situation with Liam can’t wait though. He revealed himself to all of the Rangers, so now everyone knows who he really is. Finn’s really upset because a few of the team members want to, for lack of a better way to phrase it, kick his ass to set him straight, and he’s worried that something worse is going to happen to his cousin before we can figure out a way to fix him. Like kill him. Or burn off his face, like Santana so eloquently suggested. I’m trying to keep out of things for the most part because I’m still vacillating between wanting nothing to do with Liam and wanting to throw things at him. Really I just want to throw things in general these days, but all of his constant threats and the sarcasm bring out the worst in me. I know I’m taking things too personal to get involved, so hopefully someone comes up with a plan soon and I won’t have to be part of it.

- Marley

Not gonna lie, Journal. Things have been pretty tense around here lately. Liam just outed himself as the Green Warrior, which was a pretty big shock to us all. We should’ve known something was up earlier. He’s been acting pretty shady for a while. No wonder he was never around for me to read him. 

There’s suspicion he’s behind setting Marley’s house on fire, but that can’t be true? Can it? I don’t really know anything anymore. I know Puck is gonna want to get back at him, and I want him to get what he deserves, but I didn’t like warrior training for a reason. If they need my help, of course I’ll do what I can, but I just don’t want to ignite that old fire. 

I guess I’ll just wait for further instruction from Puck, or Santana. They usually seem to know what’s going on the most out of all of us, and if we’re gonna take Liam down and rescue him, I’d want to be under their command. 

It’s nice to have my computer back and running. I had to fix a few things with it. Like the power supply, and a few other things. It was nice that I didn’t lose my date.  Note to self: get or build an external hard drive. Anyway.... graduate happened. Then there was a party at Carters place. It seems like everyone enjoyed themselves there. So, my plains for it to become a hangout is a good one.  Sadly Marley’s date ended horribly. I promise whoever is behind burning her house down and killing her mother will pay. She has suffered already from this war. She doesn’t have to suffer any more. I realize that my father might have something to do with this. Yet, Ms. Rose never got in his way.... yes she is Marley’s mother. It just seems like this was over the top, and not his style at all.   If he was going to burn something down... it would be a place where a lot of lives would be taken at once. I need to find out as much information I can. Without bothering Marley. Though not mater what happens.... I’ll have Marley’s back completely. 

It’s been a week and I still don’t know how to write all of this out. It’s almost like if I don’t put it in writing, it never happened. Like there’s still a chance to reverse things or go back in time to make sure this never happens. Like maybe one of these days, she’ll come looking for me and everything will be okay again.

It’s irrational to think like that. I know it is. But I don’t want to think rationally or be realistic about the situation. Doing that means facing the fact that my mom is gone and never coming back, that all of my attempts to keep her safe from all of the danger that’s a part of my life failed. That I failed her.

Why couldn’t it have been me? Why did it have to be her? I’m so insignificant in the grand scheme of things and she was wonderful. She was the best mother in the world. Maybe she was human and flawed like everyone else, and I was too harsh on her about things she had no real control over, but she was still there for me when no one else was. She was my friend when I had no friends. She became both mother and father after my dad left. She took care of me and sacrificed so much - everything - so that we could have a decent life. She never hurt anyone, never did a malicious thing in her life. She was kind and compassionate and generous and forgiving and all of the things I wanted to be.

It’s just not fair.

You know how I said last week wasn’t good? Well this one was even worse. 

Someone stole my clothes while I was showering, so I was basically naked as I walked to the front office to the lost and found to get some clothes. It wouldn’t have been so bad if people hadn’t taken a whole bunch of pictures and posted them EVERYWHERE. Now I’ve got people laughing at me all the time, except for a few girls who weirdly seem to like me better after the incident. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to show my face here for another year. 

Okay, so, not much has happened since my last entry in this thing. I’m still bald and beautiful, trying to save up money for a weave. But apparently you can’t get one of those without hair to start with, so I’m all kinds of screwed. Looks like I’m stuck with this look until my hair begins to grow again. Can’t say I’m happy ‘bout it, but what can I do? There’s no magical hair grow solution, and I know that for sure. I put plant growing stuff on my scalp the other night, and all it did was make my head super red and itchy, and I had to go wash it off. Now my head smells funky, and I have to pretend that it must be the kid next to me or something. 

We’re still not any closer to figuring out who the ‘Green Warrior’ is. They’re spreading shit about how we don’t help for other peoples benefit, though. The idiot is trying to say that we only help ourselves, which is absolute crap. If I was a Ranger to just help myself, I’d be rich by now. Whoever this asshole is, they need to stop. They’re ruining our rep, and that isn’t cool. When we uncover this idiot, I’m gonna give them a royal Puckeroni beat down. Nobody messes with me or my team. All we do is try to help, and to have this shit thrown at us? Totally not cool.

By the way, New York is pretty awesome. I think I might want to live there one day. Maybe. It has some pretty cool schools, and if that failed, I could be a coffee barista. There’s like 500 Starbucks, so there must be plenty of jobs going. And if that failed, I’d just go dump myself on one of the Rangers and make them pay for me to eat and drink.

Me and Quinn are going pretty good. We still haven’t reached an official relationship status, but I’m cool with that. Things are going at a nice and slow pace, and we’re easing our way back into the way we used to be. I really want me and Ryder to win Prom King and Queen, but I also kind of want Q to win too. She deserves to. If she doesn’t, I’m gonna take her for dinner and make her my queen for the night. 

Ryder is still weird, and I still love him. Same goes for everyone else.