#ffirstorders

it was NEVER supposed to be this way.

when they were boys it was simple. they were friends, they were brothers, they stuck together and got into trouble together, both pig headed, both a little reckless. they were SUPPOSED to be together in all this.

in the beginning poe dameron thought he understood. SNOKE had gotten his greasy ugly hands on a boy with potential and poisoned him. he held on to what little hope he had left, listened to leia’s assurances that they could get ben back... and the longer he waited the harder it got to keep on hoping. HOPE was a skill he would one day master, but not then.

and then there was JAKKU. the first time they’d seen each other since everything fell apart and it was like coming across a stranger. the mask couldn’t hide what poe knew was underneath - only a boy from the past - and he knew better than to believe his face could bring ben back, but that didn’t stop the hurt and betrayal when it happened. 

poe hoped he wouldn’t see kylo ren on this planet. he hoped he wouldn’t have to come face to face with him again and be reminded of BEN SOLO and what they should’ve been. but it was never that SIMPLE. it was never that EASY. he isn’t surprised at all when he finds kylo - ben - standing just twenty feet away. as always, poe puts up his defenses. he doesn’t even have his blaster.

“so i talk first?”