Time really flies.
It's been so many years since I moved to this city. You can see the glittering skyscrapers reaching for the sky, and beneath them, countless buildings cramming in every single open space like underbrush. It's a modern labyrinth where you lose your way quite easily. However, I find a sort of comfort in the anonymity that this megalopolis offers. Nobody cares about your background. I've become a good storyteller, elaborating my not-particularly-exciting life, playing various personas in different situations.
'Who are you?' If someone asks me, my answer would be
'I can be whoever you want me to be.'
There are many hidden alleys in this gigantic maze.
There is always something old destroyed, new rebuilt. Â It's a relentless cycle of destruction and creation, end and beginning, that stirs up the city.
So it is not surprising to find new shops and bars in the areas you are supposed to be very familiar with. Now, I'm standing in front of one of those suddenly-popped-up bars near my flat. The heavy wooden door is half-open as if inviting me to come in. Well, I have nothing to do, so why not give it a shot? The sun is casting long shadows over the alley, and I can sense the chill in the air.
The door creaks as I slip in. Contrary to my expectation, though, I find myself in a dark room governed by a deadly silence. Maybe it is closed or still under construction. It'd be a lie if I say I'm not disappointed. Yet, just as I slip back to the noisy outside world, someone calls me out behind the counter.
'Who's there?'
I cannot tell whether the voice belongs to a man or woman. A bit husky, strangely comforting voice.
'Sorry, I didn't know the bar was closed. The door was open, so I thought I could come in.'
I try to be polite and take some steps towards the entrance.
'Oh, I see. I guess I just left the door open then. Don't worry and please do stay. I was about to open the bar anyways.'
Suddenly, the room is filled with dim lights of the mosaic lamps hanging from the ceiling. Hundreds of different colours stream out from each lamp, turning the otherwise plain-looking bar into a world of fantasy. My eyes met that of the bartender. They wave at me in a friendly manner, then point out a seat in front of them.
'Please sit here, if you like.'
'Thanks. This place is so unexpected. Have you opened this place quite recently?'
The bartender shakes their head.
'No, we've been in this city for quite a bit of time. But seems like many people don't even notice us.'
With a soft smile, they add.
'But those who need us can find us.'
'Like me, thirsty and in desperate need of water with alcohol?'
We laugh together at my joke. Then I notice that no menu board is around. Seeing my puzzled look, the bartender opens their mouth.
'Actually, we offer only one drink here.'
'What!?'
'Well, it may sound a bit unusual, I understand. But it is worth trying. It's a sort of gin if you are curious about it.'
Seems like I end up in a strange place. Nothing looks quite real in this bar, including this bartender. Yet, it doesn't mean that everything here is illusory. Maybe this other-worldly atmosphere gets into my head - because I decide to take the offer.
The bartender takes a slender glass and pours crystal-clear liquid from an old-looking bottle. Then, suddenly they pick up another bottle filled with dried herbs. They place some flower buds from there in front of me.
'Exhale.'
'Eh?'
'Just breathe on them.'
I'm even more confused by this bizarre request. I let a sigh out.
The bartender smiles subtly, then throws the withered flower buds into the glass.
Then...! Seemingly dead flower buds start blossoming like they are waking up from centuries of sleep! One by one, delicate, translucent petals spread out. The outermost, largest petals are milky-white, but the ones close to the centre are a vivid blue. I know this colour - something rings a bell.
Without thinking much, I have one sip of the drink.
'The ocean...'
The salty taste and intense blue of the drink bring me back to my childhood memories. The pure part of memories buried deep underneath the more recent bitter ones. The calming sound of the waves and how the sunshine danced on the sea. The comforting cold touch of the sea. Precious seashells hidden under the soft sand. Yes...I was dreaming to discover the world beyond the vast blueness. That was a long time ago. All the emotions come towards me like massive waves. And for the first time in many year, I feel so bare. All masks I carefully crafted are washed away.Â
The drink tastes bitter and sweet, with a pinch of saltiness. If you can taste tears of your heart, it would taste like this.
