#ff4 tay

"Kain, we need to talk."

Kain stiffened and straightened his slumped form. He hadn't slept a wink, the past night, and while the recruits in front of him might not take issue with his slightly less than perfect form, the one approaching him might. He might not comment on it, might not ask Kain about it, but he would notice. And if Kain were really unlucky, he would go and talk to Cecil about it. Kain turned around and took a deep breath.

"Golbez. What might be the issue?" he asked.

His grip around his spear tightened ever so little in response. He knew that Golbez should be safe. That he shouldn't pose a problem. That he had been as much a victim as Kain had been back then. Yet, seeing him like this, the mental image of the man in the darker than black armour came to his mind. And all the associations Kain had with it.

And Golbez noticed. The way Kain's muscles tensed, the closer he got. The way his expression was forced into one of neutrality. That even though they had made a temporary peace with each other the other day, it hadn't held long. Because Kain's survival instincts were still stronger than anything else. His fear of what Golbez might do was still there. Even if he would never acknowledge it out loud.

"Follow me," he said.

He had stopped a bit away from Kain. And while both knew that it meant nothing with Golbez magic, Kain still seemed to relax a little more. After all, both of them knew it wasn't Golbez' magic Kain was afraid of. Golbez didn't want him to be afraid at all. Though that was something Golbez knew would take some time.

Kain nodded and turned around to face the trainees again. He raised an eyebrow as he saw that everyone had stopped what they had been doing. Just to watch Golbez and Kain. Even Ceodore, who normally was so very diligent with his training. Kain let out a sigh and shook his head.

"Go back to your training! If I hear any more complaints about the cold weather by the time I return I know you've slacked off again!" he screamed.

They had just started for the day, even if their first task had been clearing the training ground from any fresh snow that had fallen. And Kain had already heard enough complaints about the temperature. And how most of them would rather sit inside by a warm fire.

The complaints had been shut down immediately by a particularly annoyed glare from Kain. Because he hadn't slept a wink. Because, of course, his old workaholic habits started to show again. And he really had wanted that report for Cecil finished. Kain turned back around to follow Golbez. He didn't know what he needed to talk to him about, but Kain hoped it would just be about some research. Or reconnaissance. Or something work related. He had been slightly concussed the last time they had talked. Something Kain didn't want to think about. So he wouldn't.

Golbez didn't lead him far, just out of earshot. A secluded little corner, close by the training grounds, Kain knew had been used by teens and adults as a make-out spot. At least in the past, that was. Nowadays, no one dared to do so, in fear that either the young prince or the captain of the Red Wings could walk in on them.

"So? What do you need?" Kain asked.

Golbez stopped walking, a sigh leaving his lips as he turned around to face Kain again. Kain leaned against the wall while he waited. He let his spear go, letting it vanish. He just hoped he wouldn't regret that the moment Golbez started speaking. Hoped that Golbez wouldn't try anything funny with him.

Kain lightly shook his head, just to push himself out of that particular headspace. Golbez wouldn't. Kain knew that much. If he wanted to hurt him, he had his ways to do so. And he would have already done it. Not that Kain would go down without a fight, but Golbez had his ways to hurt Kain.

"I realized I never asked you," Golbez said.

Kain snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Golbez again. He raised an eyebrow, wondering what that was about now. Never had asked him what? Golbez didn't need to ask him for anything. As far as Kain knew, was he holding himself still on probation as well.

"Asked me what?" Kain said.

Kain had no say in what Golbez would be allowed to do. That was entirely Cecil who could make those decisions. Especially because Kain knew fully well that his fears were irrational at best. Golbez was a victim as well. Zeromus had been the one screwing them over in the past. Not Golbez. Both Kain and him had just been his puppets. Puppets who now tried to atone for the things their puppeteer had made them do.

Golbez let out a long sigh. He didn't look at Kain. Rather opted to stare at the ground, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. A rather tight-fitting, black shirt. Without sleeves. More fitted for someone doing physical labour and not a head of a mages unit. Or magic research unit. Kain didn't mind. It did suit him.

"Your forgiveness. For everything," he said.

Kain's eyes widened at that. He had expected a lot, but not this. Never this. Because Golbez didn't need to ask for his forgiveness. He didn't need to apologise to him. Kain was more than aware that Golbez wasn't at fault. Even if his mind occasionally tried to tell him otherwise.

Yet, seeing Golbez standing in front of him, eyes turned downwards, asking Kain to forgive him, was…freeing. In some weird way. Kain still didn't particularly like that feeling. Maybe because he knew more than well enough, that Golbez could have achieved Zeromus's goal, if he had been fully serious about it. Kain had seen what he was capable of within the Tower of Zot after all. Something he supposed everyone else wasn't really aware of. Just how strong he really was. And yet, he was basically cowering in front of Kain right now. No, Kain didn't like that at all.

He let out a sigh and shook his head. He looked around, making sure they were alone. Actually, really alone. Partly because he didn't want anyone else to see Golbez in such a state, partly because he didn't want anyone to report this kind of situation to Cecil. That would be too much of a hassle for Kain. Once he was sure, he stepped closer to Golbez.

"You don't need to," Kain said.

Golbez looked up immediately, eyes widened the slightest bit. Kain was standing close enough that he needed to look up at him now. Maybe a little bit too close. Though they both knew they had been closer before. Much closer than this. In both the recent and the distant past.

And Kain knew it wasn't only the things Zemus had made Kain do, which everyone knew about, that Golbez was apologising. The order he had given him back then. It was also the things no one knew about. The punishments he had dished out, simply to remain in control.

"I don't have any forgiveness to give you, simply because there is no need for it," Kain added.

Golbez had opened his mouth to say something, as Kain interjected. It became truly clear to Kain once again, how utterly broken they both had been. Kain noticed, once again, how much of a hypocrite he was himself. Kain crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking away as he let out another sigh. He really tended to be an idiot.

"I know my…behaviour towards you is not justified. I know, I tend to behave irrationally, but know that I am trying to-"

Golbez had interrupted him by pulling Kain closer. Pulling him into a hug that was almost a little bit too close for comfort. Almost. Kain took a deep breath and allowed himself, forced himself to relax. Forced himself to stop being this tense. Golbez wasn't a threat any more. Just like Kain wasn't a threat any more. At least not to Baron and Cecil and everyone else. Kain closed his eyes, slowly placing his arms around Golbez as well.

It was comforting in some way or form. Especially when Kain tended to push plenty of people away these days. Cecil was still his friend, and yet, it wasn't like it used to be any more. Because Cecil was also his king. Just like, Rosa was still like a sister to him. And yet, she was his queen. No matter how much those two wanted it, their dynamic couldn't go back to what it used to be. Kain allowed himself moments, allowed himself to tease them, just like it had been in the past. Only when no one was around. He was already toeing the line too much by not standing straight enough when Cecil was there. And by not always talking in the most polite tone to him. That much he allowed himself in front of others. Nothing more.

Golbez was closer to him in station. Which had been why no one had batted an eyelash so far, at the caution Kain had shown him. At the sometimes even cold demeanour, Kain had showcased. Cecil being the exception, of course. Because with Golbez, Kain could allow himself these things. Neither of them was higher in status than the other. Both commanders to their units. With Golbez, he could allow himself to relax. Kain just needed to get that into his skull. Golbez could be a save haven. A thought which had occurred to Kain so many times, both in the recent and distant past. Because even back then, when Golbez had been above him. When Kain had answered to his commands, they had been the same.

Golbez pushed Kain away as suddenly as he had pulled him closer. Undoubtedly noticing what he had just done. Kain didn't even know why, he had done it. Though Kain was probably also the only one, he hadn't talked to like this yet. He couldn't help but smile as Golbez started to stutter out apologies. Ultimately, clearing his throat, as Kain opened his eyes and looked up at him again. They were still close. Closer than Kain allowed himself with most people. It wasn't too close.

"I got ahead of myself, Kain. Please forgi-"

"Golbez," Kain interrupted him.

Golbez mouth snapped shut immediately as Kain raised a hand. He chuckled at the sight in front of him, and again when he noticed the way Golbez' eyes widened at the sound.

Yes, maybe he was behaving too much like an idiot stuck in the past. Especially when that man in front of him could make a face that adorable. The smile fell from Kain's lips as he processed his thoughts, his face heating up slightly. He looked away and cleared his throat.

"How about…lunch," Kain said.

He looked behind himself and then up at the sky. He supposed that could be a nice solution. Talking about this whole thing some more. Kain did know it would make Cecil happy. And maybe it would do him some good as well. To let someone closer. Someone he actually could share a lot of his problems with.

Golbez had an eyebrow raised when Kain looked back at him. Confused about his statement. Kain nodded and took a step away. Even though his eyes did stay on a strand of hair being out of place for a little bit too long. Resisting the urge to reach out and brush it back.

"How about we eat lunch together. At least like this, both of us would have an alibi, if Cecil wants to accuse one of us of skipping meals," Kain suggested.

Golbez blinked at him, before a smile made its way onto his face. A soft smile, causing the tiniest wrinkles to appear by his eyes. Somehow Kain found himself jealous of how slowly Lunarians, or even Half-Lunarians aged. At the same time, he couldn't find himself to mind that much, when Golbez still looked that handsome nine years his senior.

He nodded and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Both of them knew that the second part of Kain's suggestion was more of a reassurance for Kain, than it was for Golbez. If Golbez would still be by his desk during lunchtime, Cecil or FuSoYa would drag him away to eat something.

"That sounds good. I will see you then?" Golbez said.

Kain nodded and looked back over his shoulder again. He should get back to see if everyone was still training, or if they had decided to slack off again. He really didn't want to have to explain to Golbez later why his voice was suddenly hoarse, just because he would need to scream his idiot unit into submission again. Not only that, but he didn't even like doing it.

"Yeah, it's a date," Kain said.

A 4-panel comic.

Panel 1: Ceodore wiping sweat from his face with a towel. Behind him, stand 2 random soldiers. The first says, "Whew. Am I glad Commander Highwind went easy on the training today. Normally he has us running at least 10 more laps around the training field." Ceodore glances back at them with a frown.

Panel 2: Same position as panel 1. The second soldier says, "Yeah. But the real thanks should go to whoever left those two hickeys on his neck. Man needed to get laid." Ceodore has gone wide-eyed, a furious blush on his face.

Panel 3: A close-up of Ceodore's frowning face. He thinks, "They should be gossiping about Commander Highwind like that.  Besides, there's no way Commander Highwind could have had a romantic evening when he spent all night talking with..."