#golkai

"Kain, we need to talk."

Kain stiffened and straightened his slumped form. He hadn't slept a wink, the past night, and while the recruits in front of him might not take issue with his slightly less than perfect form, the one approaching him might. He might not comment on it, might not ask Kain about it, but he would notice. And if Kain were really unlucky, he would go and talk to Cecil about it. Kain turned around and took a deep breath.

"Golbez. What might be the issue?" he asked.

His grip around his spear tightened ever so little in response. He knew that Golbez should be safe. That he shouldn't pose a problem. That he had been as much a victim as Kain had been back then. Yet, seeing him like this, the mental image of the man in the darker than black armour came to his mind. And all the associations Kain had with it.

And Golbez noticed. The way Kain's muscles tensed, the closer he got. The way his expression was forced into one of neutrality. That even though they had made a temporary peace with each other the other day, it hadn't held long. Because Kain's survival instincts were still stronger than anything else. His fear of what Golbez might do was still there. Even if he would never acknowledge it out loud.

"Follow me," he said.

He had stopped a bit away from Kain. And while both knew that it meant nothing with Golbez magic, Kain still seemed to relax a little more. After all, both of them knew it wasn't Golbez' magic Kain was afraid of. Golbez didn't want him to be afraid at all. Though that was something Golbez knew would take some time.

Kain nodded and turned around to face the trainees again. He raised an eyebrow as he saw that everyone had stopped what they had been doing. Just to watch Golbez and Kain. Even Ceodore, who normally was so very diligent with his training. Kain let out a sigh and shook his head.

"Go back to your training! If I hear any more complaints about the cold weather by the time I return I know you've slacked off again!" he screamed.

They had just started for the day, even if their first task had been clearing the training ground from any fresh snow that had fallen. And Kain had already heard enough complaints about the temperature. And how most of them would rather sit inside by a warm fire.

The complaints had been shut down immediately by a particularly annoyed glare from Kain. Because he hadn't slept a wink. Because, of course, his old workaholic habits started to show again. And he really had wanted that report for Cecil finished. Kain turned back around to follow Golbez. He didn't know what he needed to talk to him about, but Kain hoped it would just be about some research. Or reconnaissance. Or something work related. He had been slightly concussed the last time they had talked. Something Kain didn't want to think about. So he wouldn't.

Golbez didn't lead him far, just out of earshot. A secluded little corner, close by the training grounds, Kain knew had been used by teens and adults as a make-out spot. At least in the past, that was. Nowadays, no one dared to do so, in fear that either the young prince or the captain of the Red Wings could walk in on them.

"So? What do you need?" Kain asked.

Golbez stopped walking, a sigh leaving his lips as he turned around to face Kain again. Kain leaned against the wall while he waited. He let his spear go, letting it vanish. He just hoped he wouldn't regret that the moment Golbez started speaking. Hoped that Golbez wouldn't try anything funny with him.

Kain lightly shook his head, just to push himself out of that particular headspace. Golbez wouldn't. Kain knew that much. If he wanted to hurt him, he had his ways to do so. And he would have already done it. Not that Kain would go down without a fight, but Golbez had his ways to hurt Kain.

"I realized I never asked you," Golbez said.

Kain snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Golbez again. He raised an eyebrow, wondering what that was about now. Never had asked him what? Golbez didn't need to ask him for anything. As far as Kain knew, was he holding himself still on probation as well.

"Asked me what?" Kain said.

Kain had no say in what Golbez would be allowed to do. That was entirely Cecil who could make those decisions. Especially because Kain knew fully well that his fears were irrational at best. Golbez was a victim as well. Zeromus had been the one screwing them over in the past. Not Golbez. Both Kain and him had just been his puppets. Puppets who now tried to atone for the things their puppeteer had made them do.

Golbez let out a long sigh. He didn't look at Kain. Rather opted to stare at the ground, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. A rather tight-fitting, black shirt. Without sleeves. More fitted for someone doing physical labour and not a head of a mages unit. Or magic research unit. Kain didn't mind. It did suit him.

"Your forgiveness. For everything," he said.

Kain's eyes widened at that. He had expected a lot, but not this. Never this. Because Golbez didn't need to ask for his forgiveness. He didn't need to apologise to him. Kain was more than aware that Golbez wasn't at fault. Even if his mind occasionally tried to tell him otherwise.

Yet, seeing Golbez standing in front of him, eyes turned downwards, asking Kain to forgive him, was…freeing. In some weird way. Kain still didn't particularly like that feeling. Maybe because he knew more than well enough, that Golbez could have achieved Zeromus's goal, if he had been fully serious about it. Kain had seen what he was capable of within the Tower of Zot after all. Something he supposed everyone else wasn't really aware of. Just how strong he really was. And yet, he was basically cowering in front of Kain right now. No, Kain didn't like that at all.

He let out a sigh and shook his head. He looked around, making sure they were alone. Actually, really alone. Partly because he didn't want anyone else to see Golbez in such a state, partly because he didn't want anyone to report this kind of situation to Cecil. That would be too much of a hassle for Kain. Once he was sure, he stepped closer to Golbez.

"You don't need to," Kain said.

Golbez looked up immediately, eyes widened the slightest bit. Kain was standing close enough that he needed to look up at him now. Maybe a little bit too close. Though they both knew they had been closer before. Much closer than this. In both the recent and the distant past.

And Kain knew it wasn't only the things Zemus had made Kain do, which everyone knew about, that Golbez was apologising. The order he had given him back then. It was also the things no one knew about. The punishments he had dished out, simply to remain in control.

"I don't have any forgiveness to give you, simply because there is no need for it," Kain added.

Golbez had opened his mouth to say something, as Kain interjected. It became truly clear to Kain once again, how utterly broken they both had been. Kain noticed, once again, how much of a hypocrite he was himself. Kain crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking away as he let out another sigh. He really tended to be an idiot.

"I know my…behaviour towards you is not justified. I know, I tend to behave irrationally, but know that I am trying to-"

Golbez had interrupted him by pulling Kain closer. Pulling him into a hug that was almost a little bit too close for comfort. Almost. Kain took a deep breath and allowed himself, forced himself to relax. Forced himself to stop being this tense. Golbez wasn't a threat any more. Just like Kain wasn't a threat any more. At least not to Baron and Cecil and everyone else. Kain closed his eyes, slowly placing his arms around Golbez as well.

It was comforting in some way or form. Especially when Kain tended to push plenty of people away these days. Cecil was still his friend, and yet, it wasn't like it used to be any more. Because Cecil was also his king. Just like, Rosa was still like a sister to him. And yet, she was his queen. No matter how much those two wanted it, their dynamic couldn't go back to what it used to be. Kain allowed himself moments, allowed himself to tease them, just like it had been in the past. Only when no one was around. He was already toeing the line too much by not standing straight enough when Cecil was there. And by not always talking in the most polite tone to him. That much he allowed himself in front of others. Nothing more.

Golbez was closer to him in station. Which had been why no one had batted an eyelash so far, at the caution Kain had shown him. At the sometimes even cold demeanour, Kain had showcased. Cecil being the exception, of course. Because with Golbez, Kain could allow himself these things. Neither of them was higher in status than the other. Both commanders to their units. With Golbez, he could allow himself to relax. Kain just needed to get that into his skull. Golbez could be a save haven. A thought which had occurred to Kain so many times, both in the recent and distant past. Because even back then, when Golbez had been above him. When Kain had answered to his commands, they had been the same.

Golbez pushed Kain away as suddenly as he had pulled him closer. Undoubtedly noticing what he had just done. Kain didn't even know why, he had done it. Though Kain was probably also the only one, he hadn't talked to like this yet. He couldn't help but smile as Golbez started to stutter out apologies. Ultimately, clearing his throat, as Kain opened his eyes and looked up at him again. They were still close. Closer than Kain allowed himself with most people. It wasn't too close.

"I got ahead of myself, Kain. Please forgi-"

"Golbez," Kain interrupted him.

Golbez mouth snapped shut immediately as Kain raised a hand. He chuckled at the sight in front of him, and again when he noticed the way Golbez' eyes widened at the sound.

Yes, maybe he was behaving too much like an idiot stuck in the past. Especially when that man in front of him could make a face that adorable. The smile fell from Kain's lips as he processed his thoughts, his face heating up slightly. He looked away and cleared his throat.

"How about…lunch," Kain said.

He looked behind himself and then up at the sky. He supposed that could be a nice solution. Talking about this whole thing some more. Kain did know it would make Cecil happy. And maybe it would do him some good as well. To let someone closer. Someone he actually could share a lot of his problems with.

Golbez had an eyebrow raised when Kain looked back at him. Confused about his statement. Kain nodded and took a step away. Even though his eyes did stay on a strand of hair being out of place for a little bit too long. Resisting the urge to reach out and brush it back.

"How about we eat lunch together. At least like this, both of us would have an alibi, if Cecil wants to accuse one of us of skipping meals," Kain suggested.

Golbez blinked at him, before a smile made its way onto his face. A soft smile, causing the tiniest wrinkles to appear by his eyes. Somehow Kain found himself jealous of how slowly Lunarians, or even Half-Lunarians aged. At the same time, he couldn't find himself to mind that much, when Golbez still looked that handsome nine years his senior.

He nodded and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Both of them knew that the second part of Kain's suggestion was more of a reassurance for Kain, than it was for Golbez. If Golbez would still be by his desk during lunchtime, Cecil or FuSoYa would drag him away to eat something.

"That sounds good. I will see you then?" Golbez said.

Kain nodded and looked back over his shoulder again. He should get back to see if everyone was still training, or if they had decided to slack off again. He really didn't want to have to explain to Golbez later why his voice was suddenly hoarse, just because he would need to scream his idiot unit into submission again. Not only that, but he didn't even like doing it.

"Yeah, it's a date," Kain said.

Kain was able to sense the shift in the air as soon as he walked into the house. He hadn't been gone for long this time, the mission taking him and the Red Wings not too far away. It had been over relatively quick as well, with all of them happy to be home. Mostly because it was cold and the snow was lying as a thick blanket on the ground. The younger cadets wanted to play in the snow, no matter how much they denied it, and the older soldiers wanted to be with their families.

Kain himself would have been lying if he had told anyone he'd rather spend the time out and about instead of at home. In the past maybe, but even he would readily admit that his own past behaviour when it came to training and the likes has not been healthy. He was glad to be back, being able to make a tea for Golbez and himself, and just sit together in front of their fireplace. Cuddling a little bit, letting Golbez rant about his research and in turn ranting about the mission. That had been the plan. Until Kain had entered the house.

The air was thick with magic. Uncontrolled magic. If anyone weaker had opened the door, they would have fainted. And that was if he put it lightly. But Kain knew exactly whose magic it was, who else' could it possibly be, after all. Yet Golbez never lost control of himself like this. Not even when they had sex. Which meant something must be very, very wrong right now.

Plans for a cosy evening abandoned, Kain only set his spear aside and rushed to their bedroom. Whatever had happened had caused Golbez to lose control of himself. Or his magic. Had he been attacked? Would it happen again, in the same exact house? Would Kain once again lose someone here in his childhood home, powerless to do anything about it? Just like he had lost his mother, years before? Before he entered he shook his head and took a deep breath. Golbez was strong enough to take care of himself. To protect himself. Certainly it was something else.

As he opened the door, the first thing Kain noticed was how unbearably heated the air was. The second was Golbez himself. Lying in bed, blankets held close to himself. He had his eyes open, blown wide and staring at the door. As if Kain had grown a second head in the seconds he had been standing there. Though the slight flush on Golbez's face, paired with the fact that the older man almost never slept with a blanket told Kain everything he needed to know.

He let out a long sigh, both relieved and somewhat helpless. He hadn't even thought Lunarians could get sick. Cecil had never been sick in the entirety of time they had known each other. This was also the first time he saw Golbez like that. Even Ceodore, who only shared a fourth of that lineage was always the spitting image of health. Before Golbez could say anything Kain had turned around again. Just because Cecil had never been sick, didn't mean Kain hadn't helped Rosa's mother take care of her, whenever she had caught something. So he knew at least the basics.

First he got rid of his own armour. He could slip into something comfortable and wash up once Golbez was asleep, so for now the leotard he wore underneath his armour would have to suffice. Next he put water into the kettle and put it on a stove, before searching their cabinets for the necessary ingredients for a simple, and light soup. Only finding that they practically had nothing at home. Right, he had thought about suggesting to skip dinner, and just go shopping the next day. Knowing full well that Golbez would eat in the castle whenever Kain was out. So tea for now would have to suffice.

While the water heated up, Kain filled a little basin with water and took out a small towel. At least that much he would be able to do. First thing in the morning he would usher Golbez into the bathroom, to take a hot bath and change their sheets while he was warming up. And then go shopping for groceries, all the while telling Cecil he'd have to wait for that mission report a little longer than usual.

Kain walked to their bedroom again, approaching the bed and setting the basin down on the bedside table.

"I'm fine…" Golbez croaked out.

His normally pleasantly deep voice, rough and cracking. Causing Kain to let out another sigh. He knew he was the same, so he had no right to get angry at him. It still did frustrate him a little bit.

Kain contemplated getting a chair to sit down before just sitting down on the edge of the bed. He soaked the cloth in the water, wrung it out and started wiping away some sweat from Golbez face. Now the only question remaining was to figure out how long exactly Golbez had been sick already. Not that he could ask anyone, because Kain knew he hadn't said anything.

"You're not, Theodore," Kain said.

Golbez grumbled something inaudible to which Kain only raised an eyebrow and smiled. Well this wasn't much different from Cecil whenever he had to stay in bed because an injury.

After having wiped his face down at least a bit and rinsed out the cloth again to put it on Golbez' forehead, Kain stood up and approached the magic stones. He gently touched each of them, draining them slightly of their magic to let the room cool down somewhat. Not too much, but a little bit. Uncaring about the small burns on his fingertips he got from the almost scalding heat. That much he easily fixed with some healing magic, before it could become a problem. Or before Golbez would notice.

He did make a mental not of that for the next time though Golbez even so much appeared to get sick. The temperature of the room. He already knew that Lunarians had an abnormally high body temperature, Cecil and Golbez even as halflings no exception. Which was why both of them rarely got cold. Apparently they needed an even warmer environment once they got sick.

"Can…you stay?"

Kain blinked against the magic stone he was standing in front of, before turning around. He almost hadn't heard Golbez' voice and even then. It sounded so vulnerable, that Kain didn't register at first that it belonged to him. So foreign to him.

Golbez had turned onto his side, blanked pulled in front of his mouth, which had muffled his voice even more. When Kain didn't say anything he made a move to turn away, shrinking ever so slightly. Kain was faster though, being by the bed in record time, and sitting down again, one hand on Golbez' shoulder. A soft smile on his face.

"I'll just make you a tea and throw on something more comfortable, alright? And then I'm right back, and won't go anywhere," he said.

Kain kept his voice calm and low. Soft, as if talking to a frightened animal. This would take some getting used to. Though Kain wasn't anything if not flexible. He would make this work, without scaring Golbez away. This was a new experience, and even if Kain had never thought he would make it, he would shoulder it.

Golbez nodded slowly after staring at Kain for a little while longer. Kain stood up and took some of his clothes with him to get changed. Golbez' response and overall behaviour did cause a question to pop up in Kain's head though. Had he ever been sick while under Zemus' control? If yes, how had that gone. Kain supposed on the Blue Moon they had much more advanced technologies, making it possible to treat a little cold in record time. And even if, with how he had gotten to know him, FuSoYa surely would have taken good care of Golbez in such a situation. But he seemed almost scared. The look he had given Kain when he had first seen him in this state came to mind as well.

Kain took a deep breath to keep himself calm. He could address that issue later. Not right now. Right now Kain rushed to get the boiling water off the stove and finish preparing the tea. And while that steeped he walked to their bathroom and quickly washed the worst of grime and sweat from his body and changed into a simple shirt and pants, both hanging loosely from his body. Just like he liked. By the time he was done he was positive that the tea should also be finished, so he took the leaves out and grabbed a small cup together with the kettle he had prepared it in.

Golbez hadn't changed his position in the time Kain had been gone, when he got back in the room. Kain approached the bed again, setting aside the cup and kettle to check on the small towel he had placed on Golbez' forehead. Sighing as he found it completed heated already.

"If something is uncomfortable or hurts, please tell me, alright?" Kain said.

Golbez made a small, affirmative noise and when Kain looked at him while cooling the towel down in the water a little bit, he also nodded. It was a reluctant motion, telling Kain he would have to watch out for every little clue instead of waiting until Golbez said something.

He definitely seemed uncomfortable to have even been caught like that. Golbez had probably hoped that Kain wouldn't be back until he was better again. Kain even had half a mind why he had been afraid and uncomfortable of Kain seeing him like this. Though right now his priority was getting Golbez on his feet again, and not to get angry at something that happened in the past. Something he couldn't have even done anything about. He hadn't even known Golbez back then, after all.

Kain poured some of the tea into the cup and looked at Golbez. He helped him sit up, so he could drink at least a little bit. If he was anything like Kain himself whenever he got sick, he definitely had neglected himself in hopes of some sleep being able to get rid of the base problem.

"Just one cup, alright?" he asked.

Golbez let out a sigh, breathing heavier than normally. He probably couldn't properly breath through his nose. He still let Kain help him get into a sitting position and took the cup from him.

As he sipped the tea, a content sigh left his lips, causing a smile to spread on Kain's. Kain probably wasn't the only one who Golbez had wanted to avoid being seen by. Cecil or FuSoYa definitely hadn't seen or heard from him since he had gotten sick as well. Which wasn't rare, whenever Golbez got particularly caught up in his own magic research. So they probably didn't even suspect something was wrong.

"Sorry…" he mumbled.

Kain shook his head and stood up to get some more blankets. He definitely would tease him with that once he was healthy again. And only because Golbez just loved to tease Kain for hogging blankets every night. It was a pleasant change for once. Even if the circumstances were anything but.

"Don't be. You're not alone anymore, Theodore. I'm here, and I'll take care of you, alright? So you just focus on getting better again," he said.

Kain pulled some blankets out of their closet, smiling to himself. In his youth he had imagined days like this together with Rosa. While everything had happened, he had thought he had lost his chance at a domestic life like this forever. While he had been in his self imposed exile he hadn't even thought he would ever go back to Baron and settle down. And even after he had come back, he only had thought about work. Only after Golbez had come back, not long after he had initially left, FuSoYa and the Blue Moon on tow, he had started to think he might be able to settle down. Be able to come home to someone after he was done with the Red Wings. After long missions or troublesome training sessions.

Kain chuckled to himself and shook his head, as he returned to the bed, draping the blankets over Golbez. Who was watching him the entire time. He wasn't saying anything, and while Kain couldn't read his mind, like Golbez could do, he knew. Letting out a sigh he stood next to the bed, placing his hands on his hips.

"Well?" Kain asked.

Golbez eyes widened before he slightly shrunk under Kain's gaze. By now Kain knew how to read him, even if it had been a little bit hard at first. Well enough to even stump FuSoYa at times at that.

The moment Golbez had raised the blankets and scooted over, Kain climbed into bed next to him. Golbez had his arms around him before he even had settled down properly, his face buried int he nape of his neck. At least he was still holding the tea cup in his hands as well.

"Thank you…" he mumbled.

Kain chuckled and shook his head, settling against Golbez' larger frame. Once again surprised how perfectly their bodies fit together.

"Love you…" Golbez added.

Kain hummed and closed his eyes. For the moment he didn't even particularly care that the possibility was rather high that Golbez would get him sick as well.

"I love you, too," Kain whispered.

He could tell that Golbez was smiling against his skin. And for now he would let him stay like this. In the morning he could see if he could get any herbs at the market to get his fever to go down, and make him something nice to eat. As well as get him into a hot bath and clean clothes.