Thank you! I did exceptionally well (uh, because I'm PERFECT of course!)
70/73 Statistics co-class
110/113 Statistics
72/75 Intro to Sociology capstone
I also took a 1 credit course that I got an A in but I don't have access to it anymore because it was truncated.
Did the migraine go away after all was said and done? No of course not. But at least I don't have to do math and have a headache at the same time!
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idk if I used the right words in the tags of that lady gaga post but honestly you couldn't even mention lady gaga during the height of her fame without someone saying she was "secretly a man" or something
and they weren't saying it in like a kooky genderqueer way. it was always in a derogatory and disgusted way. like she's not acting the way women are meant to so that makes her not a proper woman. and being exposed to all that hateful mockery unfortunately undid a lot of the benefit I got from seeing lady gaga turn femininity on its head in a way I really related to. bc it was clear that I would just be ridiculed by wider society for being me
Iâm done complaining about ff7r but i really do need to make some giant comprehensive essay on why Kuja is so cool and how I think Iâve maybe seen..... 5... fan things ever that understand him. I feel like its a bit hard to explain what makes him so nuanced cause at the end of the day he is just an evil cunt with a sad backstory, but theres a very purposeful level of lack of control he has over his fate as a villain that makes him so interesting. Lots of ff villains are tortured blorbo, but he is like existentially metanarrative tortured blorbo, hes on another level and i adore him more than anything else on this earth.
The thing that makes me know im not just projecting onto him like an insane person and that he really is intended to be deep is Dissidia Duodecim. His characterization in that as being depressed as hell because of the state of the limbo world hes in and the one person he ever cared about forgetting him and being taken advantage of and manipulated by Kefka - LIKE THE WRITERS GET IT!! They know heâs just a lonely mentally ill freak who cant communicate.
Also that one interaction he has with Cloud is the best Kuja writing I have ever experienced. Like:
Kuja, internally: (i am so fucking depressed....)
Kuja: "(unnecessarily theatrical jargon)â
omg hi. I appreciate this blog a lot. thank u for ur work!!
hello! thank you for your kind words, they really mean a lot! :D
I know I haven't been active here for a few months, and I haven't been particularly on time with the translations that I promised you all, so sorry about that! ^^;; Masters in CS is a bitch.
Hopefully, I will see you all again once sem break is here o7
nobody read this unless youâve seen manga leaks on Twitter as per feb. 4th youâve been warned
As much as I could understand that last bit in the latest chapter (translated on the fly by someone that leaked it) in a way, because what Shinraâs goal was was âcompletedâ in a sense with him being back together with his family (and with the themes of them being characters rather than relating it to real life, I could see this being even moreso the case), Iâm going to be so fucking upset if he actually dies
FUCK the parallels to him being jesus (and thus the potential for him dying for humanityâs sins)
FUCK whatever narrative storytelling components technically would work well because of it
I want Shinra to live and itâs a fully selfish desireÂ
FUCK THE NARRATIVE!!! DEFY THE NARRATIVE!!! DEFY FATE AND WHATâS BEEN DESTINED FOR YOU BY OTHERS!!! LIVE!!!
Thereâs always the possibility of course that Iâm mis-interpreting whatâs being said, and that itâs being directed toward Sh/in/ra/ba/nsh/om/an and not Shinra himself, as basically a greater metaphor for the idea that Death canât allow god to continue to live in this world so Sh/in/ra/ba/nsh/om/an has to split back up into Shinra Sho & Mari
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Some basic world building for my version of the Kusakabe role swap au:
- The fire happens at the Kusakabe house when Sho is 5 (same age Shinra was in canon), which means Shinraâs Adolla Burst suddenly awakens when heâs 9
- Like what it says on the tin, events play out like they did in canon, but this time with the white-clad taking Shinra instead of Sho
- Shoâs 3rd-gen pyrokinetic abilities activate - six fiery wings that sprout from his back and draw in all the heat in the area, leaving the space around him cold as ice
- Shinra is brainwashed by Haumea to the extent that heâs effectively a slate wiped clean - and retains no memory of his life before joining the white-clad
- Whereas in canon Shinra is the pillar of rage and Sho the pillar of apathy, in this au Shinra is the pillar of apathy, and Sho is the pillar of grief (not a canon pillar title, but one I feel would lead to âdespairâ all the same), and instead of rage at the destruction of his home and his family, he feels overwhelming sadness and grief, sparing him any of the âdevilâ treatment that Shinra canonically got
- Sho will end up following Shinraâs canon path to Haijima and then the Fire Force, sans being called a demon of course - more often than not heâs called an angel, or as being watched over by one
- After his parents leave, Arthur winds up at a convent that the white-clad use to scout powerful pyrokinetics, and as soon as they catch wind that Arthur is a plasma-user they scoop him right up
- Despite being a part of an evil organization (and knowing that), Arthur retains his sense of self, translating everything through his imagination like he does in canon
- After several years of training and (attempted) indoctrination, Arthur is assigned as Shinraâs guardian - theyâre both 12 at this point
- Sho is still closely watched by the white-clad, and when he joins the Fire Force Academy, they send Arrow in as an older recruit (her story being that sheâs had a change of career) to watch over him, and despite her also being a recruit, she ends up as a kind of mentor-figure for Sho
- Company 8 starts the same time it does in canon, but remains just a 4-member group for some time, struggling to get on its feet. There are several members that wind up coming and going between the core 4 (Ĺbi, Hinawa, Maki, Iris) before Sho joins, those temporary members either winding up as unfit for what Company 8 stands for and being recommended to a different Company by Captain Ĺbi, or being a few rookies from other Companies doing the whole ârookie trainingâ system that the 8th does with the 1st in canon
- Sho joins Company 8 when heâs 17, with Arrow following soon after - the both of them good friends by this point
- Things begin to progress as they do in canon, only thereâs a lot more of Shinra & Arthurâs presence in the white-clad incidents, and though Joker does still clue Sho in on his brother still being alive during the rookie games, Sho winds up seeing Shinra several times before the second meeting with Joker, where Joker tells Sho that his brother is a commander for the white-clad
- Shinra winds up being called the âdevilâ of the white-clad by the members of the special fire forces, as once information begins to be exchanged between the companies, it comes out that theyâve all seen him before - and the devil is always accompanied by someone wielding a blade of plasma. Of course this is before Sho is actually able to put together that the devil is his brother
- Shinraâs trademark smile begins when he first sees Sho during his missions, because though he might not consciously remember his life before the white-clad, some deep unconscious part of him does, and it causes the muscles in his face to tense up into that smile the more heâs faced with situations and people that remind him of that past
- Sho actually does save Shinra down in the Nether, unlocking Shinraâs memories via Adolla Link, and Arthur steps in to prevent Haumea from brainwashing Shinra again, allowing the brothers to escape
- Haumea runs off before Arthur can defeat her, and Arthur then joins back up with Shinra and Company 8 as theyâre leaving the Nether
- Shinra & Arthur are brought into protective custody by the 8th, and they begin to divulge the Evangelistâs plans
- There is of course a private confrontation between Shinra & Arthur and Arrow, as they know her mission, but none of the rest of the 8th do, and she pleads with them to keep it a secret - having had a change of heart herself
- Shinra and Arthur are stupidly strong, having been raised amongst the white-clad, but Shinra has to learn/relearn his pyrokinetic abilities without the use of his grace-fueled light speed and time travel that had been supplied by the evangelist
Okay so that at the very least I have something to point to when I mention the meadowlink au, Iâve written up a very condensed version of it, because the outline alone is a 26k+ word google doc and Iâm not going to subject you all to that much information when itâs not an actual fic yet alsdjflkajfalkdsf
The Premise:Â After returning from the Chinese Peninsula, Shinra is deeply bothered by learning the truth of the Tabernacleâs sacrifice, and by extension, the Amaterasuâs as well. Determined to learn the truth of how the first pillar came to be the foundation of the Tokyo Empire, and not trusting the stories handed down through the generations of Haijima or the Holy Sol Temple, he seeks an audience with the only primary source left - Amaterasu herself.
The Outline:
Part 1:Â Shinra Visits Amaterasu
Shinra gets approval from Obi to go try and connect with the woman in the Amaterasu on the condition that a team goes with him to mitigate any potential damage, and to bring him back to himself should she take him over again.
Shinra successfully establishes an Adolla Link with the woman and manages to connect with a deeper part of her than just the madness and rage. She shares her memories of becoming the first pillar with him, showing him how she was betrayed by humanity and saved by the Evangelist. Shinra shares his own knowledge of the discovery that the first Raffles wasnât human, and promises to show her the truth of Raffles I with his ability to view the past.
Amaterasu - and it turns out thatâs her name, that the structure was named after her - remains within the energy plant, still wary of Shinraâs claim and siding with the Evangelist.
Timeline Splicing - events with Nataku proceed as they do in canon.
Part 2: The 1st & 4th Pillars Learn the Truth
Company 8 has another run-in with the white-clad, including Yona - who Arthurâs able to point out as being the inhuman one in the group. Shinra reaches out to Amaterasu and she grants him a sliver of grace, linking with him when he uses his light speed kick to see Yonaâs memories, and by extension the truth of how Yona tricked humanity into sacrificing Amaterasu.Â
This shift in perspective forces Amaterasu to re-evaluate her view of humanity and her trust in the Evangelist.
Part 3:Â Rescuing Amaterasu & Birth of A Dark Sun
The Amaterasu fails for the first time since itâs inception, plunging the Tokyo Empire into darkness, and the 8th dodge Haijima and the Holy Sol Temple both to go rescue Amaterasu herself.Â
The Empire is left in crisis without power, and the 8th scrambles to help where they can. After Amaterasu has recovered somewhat, Shinra makes the decision to take her place as the Adolla Burst in the energy plant - at least until they can figure out another energy source.Â
Part 4:Â Amaterasu Alone & Life Beneath A Dark SunÂ
Shinraâs sacrifice hangs like a shadow over all of them, and Vulcan and Licht work tirelessly on a solution for a new energy source.
Amaterasu slowly finds a place within the 8th and begins to form bonds with its members, though she struggles to fully trust anyone thatâs not Shinra. She also finds that she has to reacclimatize to using her pyrokinetic abilities after 250 years of the only output option being 100%.
Part 5:Â Shinraâs Fall From Grace & Homecoming
An alternate energy source is implemented, and the energy plant can finally be decommissioned for good. The 8th finally bring their hero home.
Part 6:Â Pillar Bonding and Adolla Links
Without the entirety of the Tokyo Empire resting on either of the pillarsâ shoulders, Shinra and Amaterasu finally have time to bond, themselves. She teaches him more about his Adolla Burst as well as the Adolla Links - namely how to properly initiate them, and maybe more importantly, how to break unwanted ones.
Part 7: Rescuing Sho
Exactly what it says on the tin. <3
Part 8:Â Breaking In a New Life
Shinra and the 8th help reintegrate Sho into normal life, though itâs not exactly a smooth transition. The rough patches only lead to strengthening the bond between brothers though.Â
Sho and Amaterasu find a special kind of solidarity in each other, both being people displaced from what they knew for so long that theyâre outsiders in a world they should belong to.
Part 9:Â Making Up The Rules
It becomes apparent that thereâs absolutely zero precedent set for what pillars that arenât under the white-cladâs rule are supposed to be like. Even Amaterasu had been alone in her experience with the Evangelist, and for so long had only experienced other people through Adolla Links. Which means that with three of them now under the 8thâs care, theyâre kind of making up the rules as they go.Â
The use of adolla links slowly becomes more personal between them, as they begin to use the links for comfort and connection rather than domination or control, and with this change they notice the landscape of the adolla link begin to change. It becomes a meadow of safety and familiarity, a place of healing to soothe past traumas - no longer an adolla link, but a meadow link.
----
Parts 10+ arenât 100% set in stone because I donât know exactly how I want them to go, but the things I do have some rough outlines for are:
- Shinra is captured by the white-clad and forced into a comatose-like state by Haumea, being unreachable even by Adolla Link.
- The 8th devise a plan to get him back, and succeed, but Shinra is already too far gone.
- Amaterasu basically goes searching for his soul while Sho acts as their anchor to guide them home.Â
- Even this isnât enough though, and Amaterasu, knowing the bond between Shinra and Arthur, forces Arthur into an Adolla Link in a fit of desperation, demanding that the knight bring Shinra home.Â
- This becomes my excuse to fuck with the malleable dream-like quality of Adolla and basically set up a fantasy au within the larger au, where the world shifts around them to become like Arthurâs fantasy world, rife with fairytale themes and challenges for Arthur and Shinra to overcome together. It also works as the turning point for Arthur to truly step into the formal role of being the 4th pillarâs guardian, and for Shinra and Arthur to meet and understand each other on a soul-deep level.Â
- Is this secretly also the longest slow-burn shinarthur au ever? Yes.
- Being forced into the world of Adolla has its side-effects on Arthur too, namely being that he can access the pillarsâ meadow link, though without the full potential of thought/emotion/intention sharing that the pillars have.Â
----
Beyond THIS though??? Even more vague:
- Shinra & Arthur officially get together (you think they got together BEFORE now??? absolutely not!!! this is slow-burn city babey!!!)
- They do rescue Mari at some point
- With all of his family back, Shinra develops a rainbow fire - his own source of grace (instead of relying on the evangelistâs)
----
Final notes:
-Â Given that all of this was written before I caught up with the manga, I no longer know entirely how I want the au to end lol. I mainly just wanted to explore adolla links to their fullest capacity within this au and the depth of connection they could offer, flesh out Amaterasu and her backstory, and make this a kind of fix-it fic for some elements of canon, so the ending is still up in the air!
- I actually wrote the bulk of this outline before really deciding I wanted to go with shinarthur (though their bond was always there regardless of platonic vs romantic) and Iâm still steadily going back through and adding Arthurâs perspective of, and interaction with, all of these events, and basically deciding how I want to progress their relationship beats throughout the story, so this is why the shinarthur is probably coming across as sparse at best. But donât worry!! Iâm a huge fucking romantic and Iâm going to make this relationship be so tender and loving!!