#ferins

you wake up on the deck of the albatross. you're cold, soaking wet, and in pain. you attempt to pinpoint where the pain is coming from, but it's difficult to do. you try to push yourself up, but your ribs begin to scream in pain. you let yourself fall back down and stare up at the sky. then, you notice the loud, crowded voices of your captains.

"JAY, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" you hear chip's voice get to a level that you've never heard before. you've never heard this much anger from him. you could almost feel his emotions radiating off of him, sending waves through your body. "YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THIS SHIP KILLED. SERIOUSLY, WE TRUST YOU TO BE LOGICAL AND RESPONSIBLE, AND THAT WAS NEITHER."

you rack your mind for what he could possibly be referencing. you assume that your injuries have something to do with this. being a barbarian, you get hurt plenty, but it's always intentional and subsides soon after you heal up. this pain was different. you could gather that you, and the crew, were severely harmed in combat. obviously, you had been taken by surprise and immediately knocked out. if you were there for the battle, you definitely would've remembered it as you like to relish in your battles.

"EVEN THEY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO RECKLESS, AND THAT'S LIKE, THEIR WHOLE THING." you could tell chip was talking to you and you felt jay's eyes on you. chip took a deep breath. you couldn't see what was happening, but you could tell from gillion's silence that he was comforting chip in some way.

"jay," gillion broke the tense silence. "i know that things get difficult when your family shows up, but-"

"but what, gillion?" jay interrupted, clearly sobbing from the tone of her voice. "but. what. what could you possibly say right now. i fucked up. i fucked up so bad that the literal tank of our crew got knocked out immediately. i fucked up so bad that the ship almost got completely wrecked. i fucked up SO BAD that i almost got you all KILLED. so what, gillion. but what."

you knew that jay needed someone in her corner right now. you could hear her sobbing and her voice breaking as she tried to speak. you knew that you needed to get up, push the pain aside, and be with her right now. so, you stood up. everyone looked to you as you winced loudly and grabbed the railing of the ship to keep yourself up. you looked down to where you were laying and saw a deep red puddle. you knew that was your blood, but that wasn't a new sight for you. you didn't care about how injured you were. you didn't care to seek medical aid first. you cared about jay.

"holy shit." chip said while looking at you. "you're alive?"

you looked at him and squinted in confusion. "yes, i'm alive. why would i not be alive?"

"you don't remember?" gillion asked as he walked over to try and help you stand upright. "i used the last of my healing magic just to keep you from dying. i apologize that you're still in pain."

"ah, you're fine, gill. it's not like i've never-" a searing pain rushed up your body from your ribs. they were clearly broken, shattered even. you winced and your knees buckled. gillion catches you and carefully helps you sit upright against the railing on the deck.

"dude, you need to rest. you can't do anything in this condition." chip said as he walked up and crouched beside you.

"resting won't make my ribs magically piece back together again overnight." you shoot back. you didn't want to rest, not when jay is under fire like this. "don't mind my injuries right now. i'm more focused on who the hell you think you're yelling at over here."

chip just looked back at you absolutely dumbfounded. "how long have you been laying there listening?"

"long enough to hear you screaming at jay."

jay was turned around and wiping the tears from her face. you could tell that she didn't want you to see her in this state, but you absolutely did not care. the sole reason you were even on this ship was jay ferin. you would always be in her corner. you had her back even against navy during training as kids. it was always you, kira, and jay ferin. the officers were always hard on her and her dad was the worst of them all. you earned plenty of harsh punishments over the years from standing up to the authority figures in your life when they would be anything negative to jay or kira. you were their protectors. you were the first person that jay went to when she was leaving and as soon as she said that she was leaving, you were already packed and walking out of the door with her. she is your best friend and your entire world and you would never let anyone harm her.

chip tried to explain himself before gillion interrupted and finally told you the whole story. what you remember is that while you were in allport- which is usually dangerous enough with your high bounties, but you needed supplies- jay saw kira again, and she was with faye and jayson ferin. by the time the crew found her, she was already too close to them. jayson was clearly saying something to her while kira had her hand on jay's shoulder and faye stood there listening. jayson immediately spotted the crew, but his eyes almost shot to you.

"kira, jay. your best friend is here." he said with frustration dripping off the words 'best friend'. kira's eyes widened as she stared you down. her hand dropped from jay's shoulder.

"you... you're alive?" kira said with genuine shock.

"what are you doing here, kira. what are you doing with... them." you said back, gesturing to the ferins.

"what do you MEAN what am i doing here? i'm navy. i've always been navy! you used to be navy too. you AND jay. before you just... left me."

"we didn't leave YOU. we left NAVY. and before i speak one more word, you need to decide between us and navy, ki." you used the old nickname you had for kira. as kids, jay had trouble pronouncing her 'r's, so you started calling kira by 'ki' and let jay catch on. eventually, jay's slight speech impediment went away and you did away with the nickname when you were teenagers as jayson ferin always said it sounded "childish".

kira shook her head and looked down. "don't make this hard, please. you guys could just come back and we could be us again and i wouldn't have to choose."

"choose." you stated. the words pierced kira's heart and you could tell.

"i choose navy. i've always chosen navy. it's my livelihood and i'm not going to leave it for you." kira held her head up and balled her hands into fists.

"then, i'm gonna need you to get away from jay. right now." you stepped towards jay before jayson held a hand up.

"step any further and i will not hesitate to hurt you or your crew."

"i am not scared of you. i never have been. you should know that very well, jayson."

"that is ADMIRAL ferin to you."

"hard to say that when there's so many already. navy is practically crawling with faye's spawn."

faye just looked over to you with a slight smirk. you haven't met jay's grandmother often, but when you did, you immediately got an awful vibe from her. your hatred for her has only grown over the years.

"jay, just come back over to us. you don't need to go with them!" chip called from behind you as he stepped up to stand with you.

"it's not your destiny to go with them! you're walking a better path than them." gillion stepped up beside chip.

jayson's eyes were locked on you. "you have one last chance to turn around and let me talk to MY DAUGHTER in peace. choose wisely."

you looked at chip and gillion as they nodded at you. you pulled out your battleaxe and felt your blood run hot as you entered a rage. a firey aura surrounded you and your eyes began to emit a slight glow. "i've never backed down from you, even when i was a child. and now, you're gonna feel what that old rage feels like now."

before you could even charge him, you felt a heavy weight fall on you that sent you to your knees. there was nothing above you, but it felt like a boulder was dropped on you. you heard your spine crack as pain shot up your back. then you fell to the ground.

"after you fell, we all kinda backed up. gillion wanted to fight, but i could tell that this wasn't a fight we were gonna win and told jay to come with us back to the ship. jay just... zoned out. her dad told her to attack us and she just... did. ollie picked you up and we had to fight to get jay. our crew against jay, jayson, faye, and kira was not a pretty fight at all. we nearly died, multiple times, and we only managed to get out because gillion did some mind trick on jay, picked her up, and we ran." chip said, helping gillion to bandage up your wounds. jay had already left to go have some time to herself. you wanted to go with her, but she told you to just stay there and she'll talk later.

"i cast suggestion and 'suggested' that she freeze and stop attacking." gillion added.

"yeah, that. but anyway, we ran to the ship, but they just chased us. they destroyed half of the port trying to attack our ship. they even got a couple of hits on the hull. it's not awful, but it's not good either. we have to hope that we don't run into anything before we get to edison kingdom. alphonze needs a repair too, so we're just gonna kill two birds with one stone."

"we are not killing birds." gillion shot chip a glare and you giggled slightly before wincing in pain again.

"gill, it's a metaphor. it means that we're doing two things at once."

"that makes so much more sense. i didn't want to believe that you were killing birds with stones."

after getting bandaged up, you went to the captains' quarters and took a nap to try and heal up a little, same with chip and gillion.

you woke up a good few hours later. chip and gillion seemed to have turned in for the night and were resting peacefully, but you didn't see jay. feeling significantly better, you walk onto the deck to see jay sitting against the mast. you walked to sit beside her and she stared off into the distance.

"are you okay, jaybird?" you called her by your special nickname for her. when you called her that, it basically meant 'i'm here for you, tell me anything'.

"i'm not, hawk." jay replied so quietly that it was almost a whisper. hawk was her nickname for you, similar to jaybird. she called you that because hawks are generally hostile to anything bigger than them, incredibly intelligent, strong, and they're loyal. you're just like a hawk. "i froze. i keep freezing. i shouldn't be on this ship. all i do is endanger the people on it. i keep putting everyone in danger."

"jaybird," you moved to face her head on and you grasped the sides of her face to force her to look at you. "you're not a danger. you are not the danger on this ship. we constantly get thrown into danger whether it's gillion and some weird sea creatures, chip with his whole black hole in the sea thing and trying to find his old crewmates, or it's you with the navy. or hell, US with the navy. the navy isn't fond of our crew for a hell of a lot of reasons, and you're not the main one."

"don't lie to me."

"i would never even dream of it."

jay paused for a moment. she knew that you were telling the truth, from your perspective anyway, but she didn't know what to believe. she looked down and started to cry again. you pulled her in close to you and she curled up in your lap, burying her head into your chest. you're the only person she's ever been so vulnerable with. you're the only person she can consistently trust, and she knows that.

you began to caress her hair, twirling strands around in your hands. you felt your heart squeeze, but it wasn't any pain. you had long pushed aside your feelings for jay because you believed that it would cause tensions or conflicts in your further adventures, but as you watched her sob into your arms with the moon beautifully highlighting her orange hair and her face glistening with tears, you knew you had to tell her.

"jaybird, i have to tell you something." you started and jay just slightly looked up at you. "i... fuck, i don't know how to say this. basically, i have some... feelings for you."

"wait, you do?" jay sat up, genuinely confused. "how?"

"what do you mean?"

"how could you like someone like me?"

you scoffed. "well, for starters, we've been friends for years and years. we grew up together. i've watched you go from a scared kid under navy's boots to an absolutely gorgeous, strong, powerful woman. you're a damn good shot and everytime i watch you fight, i just admire you even more. we've gone from me protecting you all the time to fighting together and protecting each other. you're also just so so gorgeous. i love how the color of your hair complements your skin tone and your blue eyes. when you fight, your hair gets all disheveled and falls in your face and it just makes you look intimidating and... i don't know, it just does something to me." you kind of laugh at that last part because you didn't intend to say that, it's just what you were thinking.

jay stares at you, jaw agape, as her eyes widened. you look back at her as your heart races. you don't know what she's going to say at all. except, she doesn't say anything. she just leans over and kisses you. instinctively, you wrap your arms around her waist as she sits in your lap. she runs her hands through your hair and pulls away.

"so... that's probably good, right?"

"yes, idiot." she smiled as she kissed you again. she kissed you like she had been waiting her entire life to do so. she kissed you with such desperation and passion that you were convinced she has had feelings for you for a very long time, maybe even longer than you have for her.

you both decide that it's time to get some real rest and head into the captains' quarters. gillion was asleep in his barrel while chip was asleep in his bed right beside the barrel. instead of going to your bed, you decide to curl up with jay in hers. you were both turned to face each other. you played with jay's hair, occasionally kissing all over her face, while she made sure she was as close to you as she possibly could be. it didn't take long for you both to fall asleep. you dreamed of her and, of course, she dreamed of you.

"wait, so," chip looked at jay with a confused face, clearly about to say something incredibly stupid. "anastasia. what's all that with her. like the romantic dancing and stuff."

you looked over at jay, feeding into the stupidity. "i was charmed! i also happened to be very nervous about asking you to dance!" she looked at you while she talked.

"hmm," chip and gillion looked at each other and nodded like they were agreeing with each other. chip finally spoke up. "me personally, i wouldn't take that. would you, gill?"

gillion shook his head "absolutely not!"

"okay well gillion, you don't like women. chip, women don't like you. i am not taking girlfriend advice from two men who don't get bitches."

chip and gillion dramatically clutched their chests as they pretended to be hurt before jay actually threw a stone at both of them, causing them to fall over.