#femmish

f/f february: artemis & aphrodite

7. “[a kiss] to shut them up”

In the morning, the taste of regret is heavy on his tongue.

To be fair, regret tastes like dry-mouth and some questionable Jell-O shots and whipped cream flavored vodka he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to stop tasting. But it’s more than that. He wakes up and blinks and he has three seconds of peace before the world comes crashing down on him and he remembers everything from last night in heated flashes.

Ransom is still passed out beside him. It’s not an unusual site; he’s shirtless in Holster’s bed, which has happened before. The blanket is tangled around his body. Long expanses of his muscular back are exposed. Holster longs to reach out and touch. That’s nothing new.

“Thinkin’ too loud, Holtzy,” Ransom mumbles. He buries his face in his pillow and sighs.

Last night, Holster is pretty sure he said i’m in love with you, and that is definitely something new.

Seriously, why the fuck did Holster never learn from television shows? Alcohol and unrequited feelings for your best friend never mix. It’s like the tropiest of all tropes. Holster already knows he’s a cliche, but did he really have to make his big announcement while they were schwasted off their asses and then come to the next morning barely remembering it, What Happens in Vegas style?

“Holster,” Ransom groans. “Seriously, I can feel your thoughts. The hell is so important this early and hungover in the morning?”

“So I don’t know how much you remember from last night,” Holster starts. His stomach is rolling but it’s nerves, not nausea. He squeezes his eyes closed. “But I’m sorry. I know we toe this line like it’s the only thing we know how to do but last night I skipped over toeing it and pole-vaulted myself over it, so I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Ransy, I’m sorry and we can pretend that it never happened if it means we stay in each other’s lives, okay?”

He can feel Ransom shifting beside him, until he’s pretty sure Ransom is resting on his forehead and looking at Holster. They’ve known each other for a long time; Holster doesn’t even have to open his eyes to know what Ransom is doing.

“The fuck are you talking about?” Ransom asks. Holster’s heart swoops heavy into his gut.

He remembers, and Random doesn’t. God. This could not get more tropey.

“Please, Justin, I just,” Holster whispers. “I like being your best friend. I like living with you, I like playing video games next to you, I like when we go for burrito runs at 2am and I like giggling with you at all hours of the night and pissing Shitty and Lardo and the other one off. I don’t wanna lose that, Rans, okay? I’d rather just be your friend than lose you for good ‘cause my drunk ass doesn’t know how to keep my mouth shut—”

Ransom kisses him.

Ransom kisses him.

Holster’s brain short-circuits. He forgets whatever point he was trying to make, he forgets that he tastes like regret and questionable Jell-O, he forgets that eight seconds ago he was convinced he was gonna lose Ransom forever. Ransom lips are soft and warm and they move against Holster’s like it’s something familiar. Something they’ve done before.

Holster loves him so much that he can feel it in his fingertips. He can feel it in his spine. He can feel it in all the places where Ransom is touching him.

“You’ve never known how to keep your mouth shut,” Ransom murmurs. His fingertips brush against Holster’s forehead, pushing hair out of the way. “You don’t remember last night, do you?”

“You don’t remember,” Holster says petulantly, and Ransom kisses him again. Slow and thorough.

“You idiot,” Ransom says fondly. There’s wonder in his voice. His fingers are gentle where they still caress Holster’s face. Holster didn’t know Ransom could touch like this. “I said it back. Then I said let’s talk about it more in the morning.”

Holster blinks slowly. Another memory rises to the surface. This one is warm. A hearth. Holster will remember it for as long as he lives. “You said it back,” he repeats. He peeks open one eye; there’s a lovestruck look on Ransom’s face that Holster hopes never goes away.

“I did,” Ransom confirms.

Holster blinks. A lazy grin spreads across his face. “Say it again,” he insists.

Ransom rolls his eyes, but the lovestruck look doesn’t go away. He leans forward and kisses Holster again. Holster wraps an arm around Ransom’s waist and tugs him closer.

“Say it again,” Holster whines.

“Shut up,” Ransom laughs against Holster’s lips. He sighs, content. Holster almost doesn’t want to leave this bed. “I love you, man. I fucking love you so much, Adam.”

okay YES though like. 

sansa moves absolutely effortlessly. she’s just naturally so Good

podrick is so apologetic all the time because he kNOWS he isn’t good

and he’s enTHRALLED with sansa so he doesn’t want to upset her

she keeps getting a little short with him because sansa just wants this to be GOOD she doesn’t mean to hurt his feelings

but then one day he gets frustrated and he’s like “pls just do this with someone else i don’t want to ruin this for you” 

that’s the moment sansa takes a breath and is like okay, we can do this

and then they work hard together and it’s not as good as it could be but podrick really comes into himself and the two of them ahve good chemistry

when it’s all over pod is like “maybe we could do this again sometime?”

sansa is like “no. we definitely can not. but you can buy me a coffee if you want.” 

9. Favorite/least favorite tropes?

I love tropes as a concept. They’re the building block of stories, and they give us a way to communicate with shorthand. I love fairy tale tropes - rules of three, always be kind to the old woman in the woods, cats usually have some advice to give, etc. I am especially fond of stories that are self aware about this and play with them, but do it as an analysis, not a deconstruction. It’s why I read Terry Pratchett and Diana Wynn Jones and Patricia C Wrede. 

I also love: gothic romance, redeemed by love, soul mates/reincarnation, political intrigue, masquerades, evil women, magic as a stand-in for intimacy, books save the day… I’m a fantasy slut, is what I’m saying 

I’m not so fond of some of the failings of fantasy world-building, like: prophecy instead of character motivations, worlds that never change, medieval technology only (and I love medieval fantasy! Just, interrogate that), Girls with swords>all other girls, women in refrigerators, and “I must leave for your own good but I won’t explain the stakes to you because it is more important that I brood” (I’m looking at you, Angel!) 

19. How do you cope with writer’s block?

I don’t want to be one of those assholes who insists writers block doesn’t exist, because it does, but I think it’s important to be realistic about it, and figure out what the root of it is. So I do a little self diagnosis. 

Am I hungry, or tired, or brain-tired? Sometimes I can’t write after a full day of homework, and that has to be okay. 

Then I try to figure out what’s wrong with my story. Sometimes I’m blocked because the scene I’m working on is boring, and I don’t want to come up with a new one. I write a lot of scenes when nothing happens, and my subconscious has started rebelling when I do it. 

My cure for both of these problems is to take a walk, shower, or wash the dishes. All of these are soothing activities that get me away from distractions like twitter or podcasts, thinking about what I want to write, and more focused. 

I also sometimes just don’t feel like writing, and I’m generally okay when that happens because I draw instead and I’m not on a deadline. 

40. Do you look up to any of your writer buddies?

How about all of them? 

@clpolk for her incredible know-how. She is always looking to talk craft and improve her stories, and I am constantly inspired to learn more about how to build a story right the first time around. She’s the epitome of “work smarter, not harder,” and is incredibly dedicated to her craft

@tellthenight for her stubbornness and flexibility. I am in awe of how much she gets done in a week, how she is unfailingly encouraging of others, and how she has never let a thing get in the way of her goals. I can’t wait to see where she ends up. 

@messier51 for asking all the questions I’m too scared to ask, and for being helpful to so so many writers 

@theputterer for always asking the big questions, and then putting the work into answering them. She doesn’t have to go so hard on her scifi but she does! Every new project is an Undertaking and yet she keeps at it. 

@anexitlike for writing her truth and trying new things always! She could be writing things that are safe and popular on tumblr but she is doing what is meaningful to her instead, and pushing outside of her own comfort zone. 

“Not sure if this is my style…”

Tbh a lot of y’all asked for this but I literally could not do this concept better than rock and riot so I drew chelseys girls whoops