entry two.
So itās been a while since I first posted anything. I have to admit I havenāt needed to ātalkā about how I feel since then. However, I can feel myself slipping back into the same pit I was in last time. Not that Iām surprised, to be honest. I havenāt had as many ādownā days but lately, Iāve been having a day here and there where I donāt feel anything.
Maybe Iām just tired, or homesick, or am I imagining it all this time. It doesnāt feel as intense as it was last time so itās a possibility that the later is an end of term expectancy that I should definitely feel immensely angry, immeasurably sad and fragile, and just numb to the point that I donāt have the will to move.
I feel like this isnāt bad enough to even try to talk to someone this time round. Thatās why Iām writing on here again. Iām starting to feel that āScary Black Nothingnessā creep back into my mind again and I donāt think I can run from it.
Thereās that nagging feeling hint at my feeling pathetic againā¦ at least I can go home soon. And be where I feel safe. But how long until this envelopes me like it did last time?
