#hatemyself-lovecats

In a heartbeat..

#nobodyknowstheunknown

Fuck “friends”. I could die right now and nobody would even realise.

#boysaresuicidal2

I just want to disappear

#2016lifenotes

Been a rough evening. My mood went bad when my son said he didn’t want steaks for dinner. I wanted to make something special. On came the anger. It ruined my night. Fortunately a movie called “Man Up” helped. I cried. I feel a little better. I need to cry more.

I need to cry for the life that has been stolen from the young version of me. At CSU I was taught to carry thru and protect all versions and ages of me. It makes me sad that young me’s dreams are broken. It makes me sad that middle me was ruthlessly treated and cheated on by my now ex wife. I’m sad. I started to feel suicidal but I pushed those thoughts aside as I have to protect the young and middle me.

#captthunderdog

I hate depression. When I get depression I get full bhuna, max strength, industrial grade depression. I am not so much ‘down in the dumps’ as I am down in the centre of the earth.

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