things you said when you were crying
@feelingsforgot | things you said
she really, truly doesn’t mean to be crying. she’d kept it all together through the funeral — stared at the urn, forced claws and tearing and screams from the edges of her mind. she held her breath and smiled and nodded while people whose names she could barely remember offered condolences ( do they know it’s her fault? ) until the tightness in her chest was too much to bear.
just a minute ––- just a minute to clear her head. she’s fine.
she’s standing on the front steps of the church, hot tea clutched between icy fingers ––- until footsteps behind her startle her so badly that the small mug falls. it smashes to bits against the cobblestone path, and she suddenly feels an awful, tearing pain like her ribs split down the middle. eyes well with hot tears and she turns, heart slamming in her throat — and it’s jim hopper.
“ i’m –– i’ll be inside in a –– ”
of course it’s him. fuck him. he always materializes at her worst moments –– like when she’s standing in front of a spray of shattered ceramic, tea splashed all over worn shoes. her cheeks colour and she looks down, swiping away a tear with shaky fingers.
“ none of them know, hop. and he was looking at me. ”