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Was getting weird panic attacks with Ritalin so my doctor switched me to adderall and I'm starting to think that stimulants are NOT for me. As much as I love the idea of a stimulant medication, the reality is that I feel like I'm having the adrenaline response of a fox that is being hunted for sport without the anxiety, and instead I just have to sit here at my sewing machine and it's only 8am
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i wish i could like things normally but no instead i think about "even now, im still the only one you trust. kill me again. come on! kill me again! show me the only way you know how to love." and "lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat. the name! the name unuttered in our home for 23 years, said over and over again until it was pounding in my brain like a hammer. and you threw her name around just for cover butitalwayscircledbacktohim! but she didn't love you. not like he did. not like i have." and how 'im your man' by mitski is just the relationships louis went into and i feel like i could chew through sheet metal and glass and rip my hair out
