#feeling crazy

the two of you had argued about food as a concept, of all things. alhaitham mentioned in passing that no food should be too messy, or else it was pointless. food should be there to nourish, not inconvenience. he didn’t expect there to be a large discussion about it. he had only said it to annoy kaveh, who had spilled something all over himself.

you, however, were greatly offended by the statement. you waxed poetic about the importance of food, no matter the perceived inconvenience. “if someone has made you food, you better cherish it,” is what you argued. you pointed out how valuable it was to each region and to its people; so many people first experienced cultural exchange through food. first dates happened over dinner, great feasts were thrown for birthdays. meals and the nature in which they were shared so ingrained into every society on the planet. how dare he insult food on such a fundamental level!

to everyone’s surprise, alhaitham actually conceded. kaveh’s jaw dropped, in all the years he’d known alhaitham he had never seen him back down without a fight. ever.

on the outside, alhaitham continued to read, his calm face betrayed nothing. but on the inside, he was a little tipsy, and more than a little irritated that someone had bested him in a debate. was he losing his edge?

…

alhaitham tried to get over his loss, he really did. normally it would roll off of his back, he’d chalk it up to a bad day. but it felt like with every meal he was being mocked with what he wasn’t understanding. he liked the food he ate most of the time; what was there to hate? it was clean, it was filling, it nourished him. those were the three tenets of a good meal to him. why was he so… bothered. he couldn’t wipe the frown off of his face as he stared at his plate, the meal he ate almost everyday stared right back up. he had to get to the bottom of this mystery.

…

you had been planning on hosting a dinner in about a week, and hadn't mastered the recipe you wanted to make. so, you were perusing the latest stock in sumeru city. the hope was to find the best ingredients to practice with later in the evening. the market was filled with the fresh scent of produce and spices from natlan, something you hadn’t smelled in a long time. you took a moment to relish in its aroma.

“teach me about food,” you suddenly heard from behind you, the sound taking you out of your peaceful shopping endeavors. when you turned around, a man you knew as tighnari and kaveh’s friend was stood there. he was a respectable distance away, but you were still slightly unsettled at his presence. his face was completely unreadable, had you heard him right?

“excuse me?” you replied, not entirely sure what he was referring to.

“food. i lost our debate regarding ideal cuisine, i’d like to understand why,” he stated as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

a lightbulb went off in your brain, “oh! i forgot about that. i was a little drunk at that point, and that was months ago i’m sorry if i caused you distress. please don’t worry about that, i didn’t mean to offend you.” you attempted to placate him, but he only frowned deeply.

“i’m not worried, i’d like to learn,” he reiterated. “if you cannot teach me, is there someone who can?” he looked irritated now, and you realized he was serious. tighnari had told you that alhaitham was kind of a weird guy, but you didn’t realize he was this weird.

“i can try to teach you… i think all social creatures connect through food, is that really something you would be interested in? you were quite adamant at dinner,” you tested the waters. if he wasn’t open minded, you really didn’t have the patience.

he seemed hesitant, but nodded anyway, “we shall find out. how do you plan to educate me, is there a book i can read?”

another lightbulb, “i’m trying to perfect a recipe for a dinner i’m hosting next week, would you like to help me experiment with it tonight?” you asked.

alhaitham’s lip quirked at the corner, “nothing is ever perfect, as a previous student of kshahrewar i’d except you to know that. but yes, i can help with your ‘experiment.’”

“you know what i mean,” you said as you narrowed your eyes at him, “you don’t have to be such a scholar about it. i’d like to start cooking by sunset, please don’t be late,” before you left, you gave him directions to your home.

…

alhaitham arrived a half hour before sunset, unsure why he was there. kaveh had questioned him upon his exit of their home, but he’d done nothing but wave him off. he wasn’t interested in cooking, even if he was, why didn’t he just find a book on it? why had he asked you, someone he barely knew, and someone who bested him in a debate? he was only a little sore on the subject.

the front door opened before he even had the chance to knock, “are you going to come in, or are you going to linger outside my house all evening?” you gave him a teasing look. oh archons, how long had he been standing there.

“i don’t know, the weather is quite nice. plus, my clothes won’t get food on them out here,” he said completely deadpan.

you smiled mischievously, “oh, don’t worry. i have a cute little apron for you.” alhaitham frowned instantly as he made his way inside. what had he gotten himself into.

as you made your way into the kitchen, you grabbed an apron for alhaitham. it was green, which he did like, but it had ruffles on the edges. somewhere kaveh sensed a shift in the air.

you gestured for him to lean down for you and he obeyed quickly. after sliding the apron over his head you gently turned him around to secure the back; the belt was quite long for his slender figure so it had to be wrapped around twice. as you wrapped and tied it tight, he felt a shiver go through him at the contact. he immediately cursed his body for that sort of reaction.

“so, what are you making?” he asked after he felt like his dignity had recovered. really, it was after you had put on your own apron.

a cookbook was brought to the counter and opened to a section on the people of the springs, you pointed to the picture on the page, “hot spring o’clock! it’s a dish a friend from natlan showed me while i was visiting. perfectly handheld too, so you shouldn’t have too many complaints,” you finished with a smirk.

“it does look filling, that cheese looks awfully… messy though. surely it could be… improved?” alhaitham suggested.

“okay, first lesson in cooking!!” you stood at attention in front of alhaitham as you clapped your hands once. he glanced up at you from the cookbook, but he looked back down quickly, uninterested as he read. you hit him in the arm before he finally rolled his eyes and stood to his height to look at you, “hey, you’re the one who wanted to learn.”

“yes, i know. but that doesn’t mean i won’t have… suggestions.” he provided.

“students don’t usually give lessons to the teachers,” you crossed your arms.

he mirrored your stance, “the student isn’t usually the acting grand sage.”

eyebrows raised, you asked, “are you here to learn, or are you here to try and win an argument? if it’s the latter, i must warn you that i can and will win.”

alhaitham smirked, “both, perhaps… and i doubt you could beat me again. once i’ve mastered the subject, anyway.”

“to master the subject you must be willing to be wrong every once in a while, acting grand sage,” he snorted. “how can we ever expect to learn without making mistakes? life would be so boring if we got it right every time.” you looked over your shoulder as you started to grab the appropriate ingredients from your cabinets. surprisingly, he appeared to be contemplating your words.

alhaitham looked over the ingredients list and began to help set things up; he organized them by order of use and quantity. it did actually seem like a good idea. once that was done, he turned to you, “tell me the first rule.” his voice was softer than before. not soft, by any means; you weren’t sure if alhaitham could even make his voice soft—he really didn’t seem the type.

“oh, right. first rule: when you are learning, follow the recipe,” you stated.

alhaitham looked thoroughly unimpressed, “that’s it?”

you pouted, “i wasn’t done!” a huff—you continued, “second rule: if the end result isn’t what you expected, make changes, but not drastic ones. for example, the last time i made this; the crust was very dry. this time i’m going to try and add more fat to my dough, and keep a closer eye on it during the baking process. the first and second rule kind of hold hands, if that makes sense,” you explained to the best of your ability. you’d never really taught someone to bake or cook before. so this was all new to you too.

alhaitham considered your words for a moment before he responded, “an apt metaphor could be to liken the first version to a first draft of a paper,” his hand at his chin as he contemplated the idea.

“yes. if you must compare food to papers, you dweeb,” you teased. his nostrils flared a bit as a blush broke out across his nose. you thought maybe he was getting hot because of the oven preheating behind you. “using your nerd metaphor, i made my rough draft last week. i made notes about what i could improve, and will incorporate those into today’s attempt in the hopes that this will be my final draft. if it’s not, i make more notes and try again.” you finished.

“what if your changes create an undesired outcome?” he asked you, genuine interest behind his eyes.

“personally, i’ve been doing this long enough to know where i have failed. which change was too much, what ingredient i actually should have sprung for at the market—it comes with experience. your instincts when it comes to preparing food are something that grow, if you’re willing to work at it.”

“…do you fail often?” he asked somewhat hesitantly, worried you might hit him again. also worried he chose a bad cook to teach him about food.

you laughed at that, “not often, but experimentation comes with a risk. i’ve had my fair share of bad meals, but true failure has only happened a couple times, and it always taught me something new.” alhaitham nodded like he understood. but he didn’t, really. this sounded like a lot of work for something that would be gone within minutes.

he didn’t express that thought to you, obviously. he just watched you move, and listened to you speak every few moments when you had something to explain. offering help when you needed it, and hovering close by in case you asked him for something. he was surprised, actually, by how at peace the process made him. you handled everything with such a quiet confidence that he couldn’t help but be pulled into the feeling. he couldn’t have said more than five words by the time the dish was to go in the oven.

…

to your surprise alhaitham pushed you out of the kitchen once it was time to clean up, he insisted you let him do it. he was diligent in his movements, practiced in a way that you, yourself were not.

“i think you’re doing better than i could have… wait, how do you know where the things in my kitchen go?” you sat at your dining room table with your chin rested against your hand. his back still facing you as he worked on drying and putting away the dishes you had used.

“most individuals have their kitchens organized in a similar fashion,” he started, but then you saw the tips of his ears turn pink. “plus, i remembered the time kaveh mentioned that you’d reorganized your kitchen together. he was very excited—i assumed he instituted the same methodology here that he forced upon me,” he finished with a sigh.

“ahh, cheap trick you old dog,” you teased. “and here i thought you were a secret magician,” you stood to check your creation in the oven, guiding alhaitham out of the way with a hand to his back—his flush expanded to his face.

he coughed, “is it done?”

you answered with a smile.

…

alhaitham found himself in an unexpected position: he was sat across from you with a hot spring o’clock on the table, two bottles of fonta, and a small smile on his face. he started this night with nothing but apprehension but found that he was… excited.

“don’t look now… but i think the acting grand sage might be smiling,” you reached for the knife to cut into your shared dish.

alhaitham steeled himself, “are you ever serious?”

“quite often, actually. but it’s so easy to tease you,” you grinned as you cut and served him a slice of the gooey, cheesy concoction.

“i should throw you in prison,” he mumbled, but he didn’t argue with your point. it was easy to tease him.

you just laughed as you picked up your first slice of pizza. the cheese still a little too hot, so you made silly puffing noises to cool it down in your mouth. alhaitham watched in amusement before taking his own bite. he didn’t fare much better, while he let his cool down a little more, the cheese on his stretched much further. he had to pull it his full arm’s length away before it finally broke, the cheese hanging from his mouth and hitting his plate below. you both laughed at each other, the atmosphere light as you grabbed a napkin for him.

“do you like it?” you asked around a second mouthful. your own cheese pull now hanging down, a hand in front your mouth to maintain a shred of decency.

“i do. although it is much messier than i’m used to,” he answered, making sure his mouth was empty.

“what about the cooking, did you like that?”

“yes, much more than i expected,” he contemplated his next words for a few moments, “i think doing it with others makes it… more enjoyable,” he ended with a quiet voice.

you didn’t respond, just nodded while you continued your meal. but the smile on your face was answer enough, you were delighted.

your meal continued quietly for a while, and to your surprise, alhaitham was the one to break the silence.

“is it something you have always enjoyed?” he inquired, fonta in hand.

you shook your head, “cooking? no, actually. but i always loved food,” his head tilted, much like a puppy. you continued, “i didn’t grow up needing to cook a lot, so i didn’t. i grew up in a large family, and we have a lot of great cooks. so when i had to cook, it was out of complete necessity—a last resort. it wasn’t until i moved to sumeru city and had to start learning for myself that i really began cooking. i knew some basics before, i’d help with prep a lot, but i really started here.” you added, “what about you?”

“what about me?” alhaitham was confused.

“why don’t you like cooking, or food really. that isn’t convenient, anyway,” you asked.

“simple. i don’t want it to get on my books,” he shrugged in response.

you snorted while getting up, leftover pizza in hand to package up for alhaitham to take home, “you really are a nerd, you know that?”

“and i really am going to have you arrested,” he turned in his chair to face you.

you put the dish on the counter and turned back around to face him before holding out your wrists to him, “do it, i dare you.” you leaned over a little, almost eye level with where he was sitting at your dining room table. you hadn’t quite realized the situation you had put yourself in until he wrapped his hands around your wrists, your eyes widened at the contact.

“in your dreams,” was all he managed to get out before he pushed you back towards the counter and swiftly turned around before the burn in his cheeks became too obvious. however, if he had stayed turned your way for just a second longer, he would have seen the flush that had overtaken your face as well.

…

with alhaitham’s leftovers in hand, he was ready to leave. he felt like he had embarrassed himself enough, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn toward your door. you were in a stalemate as you both stared at your feet; the rug in your entryway suddenly becoming way more interesting than anything else.

“i—um, i appreciated your help tonight,” your eyes flitted to alhaitham’s as he lifted his head at the sound of your voice.

his voice cracked, “of course,” a cough, “thank you for inviting me into your home, and educating me on this subject. when would you be free for another lesson?” when he finished speaking, you smiled so wide his heart somersaulted. fuck fuck fuck fuck, was all he could think.

“you want to do this again?” you asked, accompanied by the same smile.

“of course,” again, “we have other subjects to cover, yes?” you smiled wider, add another chorus of fuck fuck fuck fuck inside of his mind.

“yes, definitely,” you nodded. “would you like to come to dinner next week? it’s a celebration dinner for one of tighnari’s trainees, it will be pretty casual. but it’ll be a good example of food as a mechanism for bringing people together.”

alhaitham nodded, his eyes gleamed with the smile that his mouth didn’t betray.

“okay, that sounds good. i guess i’ll see you then?” you questioned.

“yes, i guess so,” alhaitham almost whispered.

with your plans cemented you said your goodbyes, and then alhaitham was outside your house again. he was in this same position a few hours earlier, but now he felt… different. he still wasn’t quite sure why he was there, he was a little more interested in cooking than he had been before, and he had this strange fuzzy feeling in his gut when he thought about how you’d created something together. maybe you were right, maybe food did bring people together.