Nobody should have to go hungry, especially on a weekend!
Hey! It's my birthday on the 17th and I'm going to celebrate by making cake to distribute amongst the homeless in my town! You can invite yourself and your friends to participate from wherever you are in the world, or feel free to join me in bringing the birthday revolution and smiles to those who need it.
As my lovely followers are aware, I am currently suicidal, tired, broke, and just tired of life. But just because I am doesn't mean that I'm any less aware that there are people who are suffering from just as much pain as I am who aren't as privileged, who can't get medical assistance, are lonely, and who don't even have a roof over their heads.
Even in times of stress, it's important to take a step back and feel grateful for having a roof and a kitchen over our heads, and friends and family to celebrate birthdays with. Not everybody is as fortunate so I would love for everyone around the world to get together and hand out a little slice of happy to those who are struggling. If you can't participate, please share this event so others can! ~Tal
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Iâve been leaning towards extrovertedness lately, and itâs making me introspective.
I used to be a really closed-off person, preferring being alone to being in crowds and feeling awkward in any and all social situations. Being in the company of strangers used to freak me the fuck out and I would keep as quiet as I possibly could.
And Iâve noticed it for a while now - Iâm not quite like that anymore. I started this process in high school, I think, but even there, it wasnât easy for me in large groups of people or with people I didnât know as well.
But a few weeks ago, I caught myself thinking how Iâve changed, and when I realised how open a person Iâd become, I kind of needed to sit down for a minute. How? What? Why? Who am I and what did I do with the wallflower?
We did a groupwork in one of my classes two weeks ago. We sat down around our desk, looked at each other for a minute and started carefully discussing stuff. There was one girl I actually knew, but also a girl I had a bit of a crush on and these cancel each other out, so basically it was a group of acquaintances, if that. Basically strangers.
And I just started talking, cracking jokes, talking about my ideas, looking these people in the eye, and it didnât have the usual heart-in-my-throat anxiety attached to it. I have dealt with that anxiety for pretty much my whole life, and itâs only gotten better in the past three or four years. And when we had to choose who would present the groupwork to the rest of the class, a girl looked at me and went, âYouâre the bravest of us, you go,â and I was pretty taken aback. Out of many-many words to describe myself, I would not have picked âbraveâ. But I wasnât scared of the presentation; I wanted to do it. I wanted to speak for a longer period of time in front of strangers. So... Iâm brave now?
I think the key is humour. Whenever Iâm in a conversation Iâm not 110% comfortable with, I rely on jokes to break the ice, to get people to warm up to me. Iâve done several presentations at Uni in a borderline careless manner, adding funny pictures to my slideshows and playing with words to make it sound great. I donât know if I wasnât funny until I turned 18 or what, but itâs a new thing. New-ish.
Part of the social âbloomingâ is probably improv stuff, seeing it and doing it a bit. I am thrust into a company of strangers with a task and since jokes are the point of this, I thrive. At least I feel like I do. I feel no anxiety when talking to new people. It makes me a bit dizzy when I think about it.
I wonder what 17-year-old me, still at the beginning of that process, would say when she saw me now. I think sheâd be impressed and in awe. And the 12-year-old me would feel so much better about herself. Sheâd know that in a few years, sheâs gonna put all bullies behind her and become a self-confident woman. And thatâs what everyone should strive for, I guess - being the person that your younger selves would and could admire. And it feels so fucking good.
So, basically, I am so happy with how Iâve evolved, changed from an observer to a part-time participant. Even though a lot of other things in my life are uncertain and tend to shift around, I am a constant. I am stronger than Iâve ever been, and I canât wait to get even stronger.
Ah this is just a personal list of the music I reblogged yesterday to help myself feel better. On my computer I have them all in a playlist now, and the playlist will probably be modified later so as to allow repeats of artists. Most of this is 80's-y but there are exceptions because ABBA makes an appearance (and after I add more to the playlist on my own computer they'll make more than one appearance THAT'S FOR SURE)
You Give Love A Bad Name -Â Bon Jovi
Don't Stop Believin' -Â Journey
Sweet Child O' Mine -Â Guns n' Roses
I Love Rock n' Roll -Â Joan Jett
Pour Some Sugar On Me -Â Def Leppard
We Built This City -Â Starship
Here I Go Again -Â Whitesnake
The Power of Love -Â Huey Lewis and the News
Round and Round -Â Ratt
Everybody Wants to Rule the World -Â Tears for Fears
Underground - David Bowie
You're the Best -Â Joe Esposito
You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) -Â Dead or Alive
