#fee writes

           Finally, after what felt like hours Dan’s alarm went off. His muscles still felt fatigued, as if he really had been struggling to live, his lungs burned as if truly lacking for air. But he rolled out of bed, he showered, had a small breakfast and got in the car to go to school. He did these things nearly on autopilot.

           Dan wasn’t into symbolism. He didn’t look deeper into his dreams or analyze some of the smaller interactions of his day. He left that to Suzy, she was good about divining some of the more spiritual meanings of their interactions and daily lives. But he didn’t need Suzy to help him understand his dream. The message was coming through loud and clear. Dan felt guilty. He knew Arin was sitting alone in a glass case because he felt pity for Dan. He knew that somewhere Arin had a family who was missing him. He knew, in the depths of his heart, that if Arin had let him die then he wouldn’t be stuck in the lab.

           The drive to the college was quicker than normal, and before he knew it Dan was walking into his first lecture of the day. Even graduate level research and the semi-favor of the Dean didn’t keep Dan from having to finish his degree by attending the last of his undergraduate lectures. Thankfully they’re short, sweet and to the point. Dan will be in the lab before long

           Class went quick and Dan practically ran to the lab. He wasn’t sure what caused him to rush but he made it across the campus quickly. He strode into the lab casually, noting that the temperature was a few degrees lower than normal. The boxes he had ordered yesterday were pilled around Dan’s desk, items to make Arin more comfortable during his stay here.

           Brian was in his office, music playing lightly in the background as the man graded papers.

           “No lecture today Bri?” Dan asked as he made his way to his desk.

           “You know the best part of being the Professor is uploading video lectures or calling class when I don’t feel up to it.” Brian quipped, head still bowed as he continued reading.

           “I needed the time off anyway, these kids are shitting me. They didn’t do the readings, didn’t watch the documentary, probably didn’t even attend the lecture and submitted some piece of shit paper that now I have to grade. I have a fucking PhD and can’t get these kids to watch a 30-minute documentary on sea life.” Dan giggled quietly as Brian laid his head down on his desk, clearly ready to go home.

           Suzy was sitting at her desk, typing in a way Dan would only describe as furious.

           “What’s up Scuze? How were your classes today?” Dan asked as he set his bag down at his desk and began shifting through all the items he had ordered for Arin. Suzy only offered a noncommittal grunt as she continued typing.

           “Arin has a streak in his hair a lot like yours. It’s pretty cool actually, his is pink though. Maybe you’ll see it today.” Dan spoke, assuming Suzy wouldn’t really register what he was saying. He’d had full conversations with her in this mood before. It all goes in one ear and out the other until she has the ideas down and out of her. But today wasn’t one of those days. The rhythmic sounds of Suzy’s typing ceased nearly as soon as the words were out of Dan’s mouth.            “Arin?” Suzy asked. “Who is Arin?”

           “The merman, he told me his name last night before I left.” Dan stated, turning to look at Suzy as he leaned against his desk. “He just told me his name and reminded me that he has a life and would like to get back to his family.”

           “He… speaks.” Suzy stated, clearly incredulous. “Not only does he speak. He speaks English?”

           “Ya know,” Dan mused “I didn’t even consider the weight of those statements but yes. He speaks very well. His English is formed and his grammar is fantastic. I mean, I only spoke to him for a moment but it seemed good. His voice is clear, not what you would imagine it’s like, since he’s- half.. fish?” It seemed the merman continually created questions for Dan, scientific and personal.  

           “Do you think he would talk to you again? I want to hear it. I’m sure Terry will want us to run some test on his vocal cords, see how extensive his vocabulary is. We need to assess this information before we share it.” Suzy muttered, running her hands nervously through her hair Suzy’s eyes grew slightly distant as she made a mental checklist of the tests and procedures they would need to run based on the merman’s ability to communicate.

           “He’s very nice.” Dan added, unsure why he even spoke. Suzy usually processed information best when Dan kept quiet and let her think it through. But he wanted to add that information. “I think he understands. At least, he is trying to understand. Yes, I think he will come talk to both of us.”

           Suzy looked surprised when Dan spoke. Curiosity burning bright in her hazel eyes. She nodded, a confirmation to a question that hadn’t been asked. Dan lead the way to the tank, up the set of stairs and to the approximate area of the platform where Arin had introduced himself the night before.

           “Arin.” Dan asked, voice tentative and soft as he prayed the merman would be willing to talk to him more today. “Arin, please come up. I have a friend who would like to meet you.”

           A minute passed, then two. After nearly three minutes Dan and Suzy were headed back to their desks when they heard the water of the tank ripple.

           “Dan?” the voice was soft, melodious as ever.

           The two scientists stopped in their tracks. Suzy was back up the platform before Dan registered the merman had said his name. Dan turned and quickly followed Suzy back to Arin. Crouching on the platform in front of Arin, Dan introduced the merman to Suzy.

           “Arin. This is my friend Suzy.” Dan gestured to the woman crouching next to him on the platform. “I think you would like her, she is a lot like me. She just wants to get you back home where you belong. She’s nice.”  

           Arin took a moment to appraise Suzy. His warm brown eyes took Suzy in. The only noise in the room was the buzz of the lights and the electronic hum of the filter in Arin’s tank.

           “I like your hair.” Was all the merman said, voice still soft. He seemed shy, unsure of what was happening. Dan understood, he felt like the world was coming together and tearing apart under his feet. A truly amazing thing was occurring and he was right at the forefront of it. He was so excited to be here, having a conversation with this stunning, beautiful creature. But with every second that passed Dan knew that it was his fault Arin was alone, torn away from his family.

           “Thank you.” Suzy smiled. “I like your hair too. Dan said your name is Arin?”

           “Arayinphyra.” Arin smiled, glistening pink tail swishing through the water behind him. “It’s royal.”

           “Royal?” Dan and Suzy, questioned simultaneously.

           “Yes. There are many underwater kingdoms, for each kingdom there is a royal family. Though, there are only seven main kingdoms and families. I am the youngest son of the King of the North Pacific, I think that is what you would call it today.”

           “Oh my god.” Suzy sighed.

           “Well holy fuck.” Dan groaned, as he added this information to a mental checklist of things he would need to discuss with Brian later. They didn’t just kidnap a merman, they kidnapped a royal merman. Fuck

           There was silence again, broken up this time by the barely audible sound of Brian’s typing and swearing in his office, still grading the papers that would be the cause of an early heart attack for the man. Dan wasn’t sure how long had passed, him and Suzy sitting on their knees on the platform Arin’s tail occasionally breaking the surface of the water.

           “How can you speak?” Suzy broke the silence, giving voice to a question Dan had been thinking of ever since she stated how odd it was. “Given everything we know about water and vocal cords you shouldn’t be able to speak like this. Not to mention that you speak English fantastically. Better than Dan.”  

           Arin smiled, a glint in his eye. Almost laughing at the sound of indignation that came out of Dan. He thought for a moment that the man clearly enjoyed having the upper hand in this moment, being a source of curiosity for the two humans sitting in front of him.

           “You’re not gonna believe me.” Was all he said. “If you think science will explain everything you won’t believe anything I have to say.”

           Another moment passed, quiet and with a palpable sense of tension handing in the air, as Dan and Suzy puzzled over the situation. They both considered where the situation was leading.

           “You’d be surprised, what scientists can believe.” Suzy said with a thoughtful smile. “Especially when confronted with something as impossible as you, my dear.”

           “I think, according to lessons and what we know, your people would call it the Tower of Babel.” Was all Arin said. He swam closer to the platform, crossed his arms over it and laid his head down on them.

           “There is legend and lore to everything, I’m not sure specifically what your people know of the tower. But in our history the stone was thrown into the oceans, we are still unsure of how many pieces of the stone are scattered throughout the seas. What we do know is that there are seven very large chunks. Over the years we have found smaller pieces in less used areas, some found in the ocean depths we rarely explore.  Anyway, we aren’t sure where it came from. They just say one day the stone came barreling into the waters. They say it turned the entire ocean a deep blood red for days, but I think that’s bologna. Anyway one of my great-great-great somethings was the first to investigate the stone. Hence, royalty. It’s taught that after that we slowly started communicating in different ways. We still have the ability to communicate with sea life, but also this way. The stone instilled in us some knowledge of how to speak. It’s a central part of our culture now. All of the births are performed at the stone, it’s said to give you luck. Milestones take place at the stone. We have several smaller chunks available, one is actually in our home. Some royalty wear pieces of the stone in necklaces, bracelets, or their crowns. My dad has a piece in his crown and my mom wears a small, polished piece around her neck, I wear my piece of stone in my hair. That’s what I know, I’m sure there might be a way for you to explain with science but I’m no scientist. So those explanations are up to you.” Arin finished his tale by showing Dan and Suzy a small hair clip he used to hold back some of his hair. The stone was polished and green, reminding Dan almost of emerald.

           “So wait.” Suzy stated, tone slightly incredulous though she had promised to believe the man. “A magic stone gives you the ability to speak?”

           “No,” Arin rolled his eyes “a magic stone gives us the ability to understand English and Spanish to come degree. There are also stones in the English Channel, the Mediterranean Sea, by China and by France. These stones give those merpeople the ability to understand the languages close to them.”

           “Well then it stands to think that vocal cords and shit developed by either evolution or through part of the magic associated with this stone?” Dan questioned, immersed in his thoughts.

           “I don’t know, that’s for you to figure out science man.” Arin said, a smile playing on his lips. “But, like I said, science can’t explain everything. Sometimes, things just are.”

           “I agree, but I would still like to run some tests if I can have your permission?” Suzy questioned, making sure her eyes were level with the merman’s.

           Arin only nodded.

           “The sooner you finish your tests the quicker I get to go home, right?”

           Dan and Suzy froze, they knew that was the deal they had made. They both knew that was their goal, they didn’t want Arin to be turned into some weird science experiment that would be paraded through politics and the world. They wanted him to be able to go home. Which is what prompted Dan to answer.

           “Yes Arin. I will do everything in my power to get these tests done quickly and get you home before you’re too terribly homesick.”

           The two quickly sank into their work for the day. Suzy wanted some x-rays and MRI’s of Arin’s neck, as well as swabs and samples of the cells there. She mumbled something about Dean Terry needing to order the x-rays and MRIs and do so privately before sinking back into her computer seat. Her furious typing added to the background noise of the lab as Dan began assembling the new filter for Arin. The new filter was the best available. Dan programmed it for the pH he and Suzy had determined to be the healthiest based on readings from yesterday. It would continuously cycle the water, simulate a current and aide in maintaining the salinity of the tank. Dan, possibly out of spite, had made sure to order the filter on the Universities budget, not the grant.

           “Arin, can you help me?” Dan asked the merman as he struggled up the steps with the new filter. “I got you a new filter for your tank, it will be a lot nicer than this one, and quieter. I also have some other stuff you might like. But I need your permission to get in the tank to put this filter in or for you to help me, is that okay?”

           “I’ll do it.” Arin offered. “I’ve been bored anyway. There is nothing to do here.”

           “We’ll work on that.” Dan stated, making a mental note to figure out something for the merman later this evening.

           Dan coached Arin through the installation of his new filter. The merman was smart and quick to learn. Maneuvering through Dan’s instructions seamlessly. Dan couldn’t help but watch, stunned, as he finally got to really watch Arin move. He guessed the merman’s total height to be around seven feet. His tail was most of that, about four feet long. The scales were various hues of pinks, shining and reflecting the light as Arin moved through the water. The tail radiated a sheer strength Dan was sure he didn’t want to be on the bad side of. It cut through the water with an ease Dan wanted to understand completely, and radiated a simple strength Dan assumed the merman would need to move quickly, quietly and avoid extinction.

           “What’s it like?” Dan asked, before he could stop himself. “The tail, I mean.”

           “What are legs like?” Arin asked, in a tone that resembled sarcasm. “You would have a hard time describing walking and legs to me, because that’s all you have ever known. If I tried to describe swimming and having a tail to you, it would be impossible.”

           Dan nodded, somber for a moment.

           “I ordered some stuff you might like. To make the tank feel less harsh. Let me bring it up. You can choose what you want?” Dan offered, hoping that ability to have some say in what his environment looked like would cheer up the man.  

           Arin nodded, a finger twirling in the pink streaks of his hair. Dan smiled before heading back to his desk to grab the many items he had ordered. A variety of aquamarine plant life, different types of rocks and even some lights were the preliminary things Dan had gotten. He wasn’t sure what the man would prefer to have in his space, but he wanted to make it as personalized as possible.

           “What are these?” The merman asked, holding up a set of lights Dan had brought up. He actually hadn’t ordered these, he had gone to the store and grabbed them. The lights, Dan thought, would complement the natural beauty of the Arin’s hair and tail. The light glowed a soft pink and white when turned on.

           “They’re lights.” Dan explained. Turning them on to show how they glowed softly. They cast a soft light onto the merman’s face. Dan stared, watching as the light danced across Arin’s features, over the slightly pointed nose and full lips, glinting off the gills on his cheeks. He really was a beautiful creature Dan thought, as Arin’s fingers delicately ran over the lights, a look of awe in his chocolate brown eyes. Dan noted the pink webbing between the man’s fingers, only long enough to hit the first knuckle of each digit. The pink started intense and dark, magenta, before fading to a baby pink shade at the knuckle.

           “I love them.” Arin murmured. A small smile on his lips. “Thank you.”

           With a small smile Dan nodded, and they spent the next two hours decorating the tank, so Arin felt a little more at home.

           They finally stopped when the duo realized they still needed to get a few items, more sand and stones for the bottom of the tank, some more lights and Arin wanted some aquamarine life to be added. The timing was good as Suzy approached the two.

           “Dean Terry got ahold of me. There are some other students he wants in on the research so sometime today or tomorrow they will be heading over. One, Barry is his name I think, is a radiologist and will be responsible for taking and interpreting any x-rays/MRIs we might need. And, Ross, an artist who the dean wants to make sketches of Arin’s fins and gills. It seems the dean thinks we can… monopolize on this information.” Suzy seemed displeased with the information but she wasn’t terribly angry.

           “He said both students won’t know what they’re involved with until we debrief them, but they have already signed nondisclosure agreements and understand some of the weight of the situation.”

           “Alright Scuze.” Danny agreed, as he looked at his watch and saw he had plenty of time left in the day. “We have no idea when they will be here?”

           “None at all. I’m hoping the radiologist gets here today. I really want to be able to get a good look at those vocal cords.”

           Arin looked anxious, as the two discussed what would be happening and how things would be rapidly changing within the next few hours or days. Dan noticed the way his tail started flicking more frequently and sharply, throwing small waves of water against the edges of the tank.

           “Are you nervous?” Dan asked quietly after Suzy returned to her desk, looking ready to lead an army into battle if she didn’t get her scans done today.

           The merman nodded, tail still flicking nervously as he looked at Dan with large eyes.

           “Will it hurt?” He questioned, voice timid and mild.

           “No. I promise none of it will hurt.” Arin still looked unsure, caught like a dear in the headlights. “Hey. What if, I stayed with you? I’ll coach you through everything they might need? I know it might not help a lot. But, it’s the least I can do.”

           A moment passed, then two as the men sat in silence. Dan’s offer hung in the air, the room quieter now with the filter replaced.

 Nick felt the entire situation was too surreal for words. Judy had left him upstairs, alone with the shrew who seemed to have few words but was more than willing to size Nick up. The fox suddenly felt unsure of his outfit, wondering if instead of “guy in need of a drink” it screamed “cop”. His inner monologue was cut short by a petite otter entering the room. The otter made a nervous beeline for the Boss, Mr. Big, and frantically whispered in his ear. Nick’s hearing, like every predatory animal, is slightly above average but the deep voices of the conversion polar bears and the band warming up downstairs provided just enough back ground noise that he couldn’t understand the otter’s words. He did understand the deepening scowl on Big’s face.

               “… drug.” Was the last word Nick was able to make out before the shrew began speaking quickly and fiercely back to the otter. Within moments the otter was scampering out of the room, Nick unsure of what fire Big lit under his ass.

                 “Nicky, can I call you Nicky? Nicky, you’re an honest mammal, right? I can count on you; you look like an honest mammal.” Big said, twirling a microscopic gold ring around a just as small finger.

                 Nick was about to answer when Judy stepped onto the stage, a collective hush covered the crowd. The foxes mind went blank as he took it all in. From the room, upstairs he has a perfect view of the entire bar, he could see Weasleton dishing out drinks, patrons walking around and Judy. The stage was centered perfectly so the upstairs room got the best view of performances.

                 And what a view they were getting now. Judy had changed between now and when she left the fox upstairs. She now wore tight black jeans, that clung to her in all the right areas and emphasized her assets. In a decision that made Nick’s fur rise she was showing her midriff and wearing only a green bustier that brought out the purple in her eyes. Barepawed the bunny looked irresistible, Nick wanted to devour her.

                 With a knowing look around and a sly smile Judy grabbed the microphone, walked to the edge of the stage and sat down.

                 “Y’all know I love ya, right?” Judy began her voice flirtatious and full of promise. She waited a moment for the crowd to nod. A few mammals cheered, or shouted their praise for the bunny before she continued.

                 “Good, I just wanted to make sure. I have something special for you tonight. It’s a song that I have never performed here before. It’s a song that means a lot to me. Would that be alright with y’all?” More cheers, and praise were heard as Nick watched several glasses go up in salute. Nick found himself thinking about charismatic Judy is, how she knows to work a crowd.

                 When I was just a small kit

               Daddy whispered in my ear

               He said, baby you’re a lady and don’t ever act a fool

               Baby you’re a lady don’t let those men make you a fool

                 Nick watched as mammal after mammal shifted forward in their seat, leaning into the sound of Judy’s voice, eyes captivated by the slow dance she made across the stage as she sang. The lyrics danced in and out of Nick’s ears.

                 But daddy didn’t count on his little girl falling in love

               Daddy didn’t count on a young man sweeping through town

               he tore through the streets breaking everything in sight

               I couldn’t help myself try as I might

                 Judy’s body moved effortlessly. She dipped and twirled, dancing with an invisible partner. Unlike the last performance Nick had seen this one felt intimate, a lot less like a teasing lap dance and a lot more like a waltz. Judy’s voice wavered a moment before beginning the next lines:

               Swept up in a courtship that burned like fire

               I thought I could tame the flame

               Instead I was burned

               Instead I was consumed

                 Judy stopped dancing, she settled in the middle of the stage. A soft, almost tangible silence covered the audience. The silence continued for one beat, two beats. Suddenly, in a swift action that startled the mammals in the bar Judy fell to her knees.

                 That young man left ashes in his wake

               he trailed destruction as he moved

               I didn’t follow daddy’s rules

               I let him make me a fool.

                 For a moment, the entire bar was plunged into a deep darkness. The lights returned before Nick could question it. The stage was empty and nobody moved for a moment as Judy’s strange, emotional performance sank in.

                 “That girl,” Big started “that girl can really perform. I lucked into her you know? Beautiful girl like that unable to find a job. I couldn’t believe it.”

                 “She is… something else.” Nick thought, pensively. Judy’s performance had left him covered in goosebumps and a cold sweat.

                 “What are you really doing here Nicky? And don’t try to feed me some lie.” The shrew gave Nick a long side glance as he accepted a drink from a passing polar bear.

                 “I’m- looking for something.” Nick replied after a moment knowing he couldn’t tell the whole truth but not wanting to lie. He’s not a great liar, but he is a good hustler when he needs to be. “I’m looking for something exciting and fun. I am looking for something primal.”

                 If Nick was about to learn something important, make a break in his case, the information was stolen as the otter from before entered the room again. A look of concern, maybe fear, lacing the features of his face. As he approached Big the nervous mammal removed his glasses, clumsily cleaned them with his shirt and placed them back on his face. Nick watched as the otter whispered to Big in that hurried, anxious fashion he has used earlier. As the otter spoke a range of emotions crossed the shrews face, with a snap of his fingers Big summoned two large bears.

                 “I’m sorry Nicky.” Big stated “business is calling me away. I do hope to see you again though. You seem- interesting.” The way Big spoke made Nick slightly nervous as he gave a small wave to the shrew as he departed.

                 Lucky for Nick, Judy was entering as Big left. The bunny had changed again, she was now wearing light blue jeans, and a black top with a little pink jacket thrown over it. Nick found himself wondering if the bunny owned any cloths that didn’t make his pants feel one size too small.

                 “You hungry sly?” Judy asks, her voice still lyrical though not the same seductive, lusty sound it had been earlier.

                 “I-“ the refusal stopped short on Nicks’ snout. Yeah, he needed to debrief Clawhauser and he should start typing his weekly report for Bogo so it looked like he at least valued his job. There were honest reasons he needed to leave but he just didn’t want to. He wanted to stay and talk to this purple eyed bunny that set his world slightly askew in ways he didn’t yet understand, so he did. “Yeah, I’m hungry.”

                 “Follow me, I know a spot.” Judy said with a smile.

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                 The place Judy was referring too was a small mom and pop diner about two blocks down from the club. Nick had walked by it before on his way to the bar. It was unassuming in that normal diner way. A long countertop with aging barstools, an atrocious shade of red, ran about the length of the building. Booths and tables, all the same red shade, were almost haphazardly thrown around the rest of the space. A jukebox sat at the back of the shop by the restrooms, a popular song playing in the background.

                 “This is the best place to get a veggieburger. They also serve ‘meat’ options if you want anything.” Judy said, sliding into a well-worn booth. Nick slid into the seat across from her.

                 Nick was trying to find the best way to question the bunny and see what she might know without giving her a reason to suspect he had been less than honest with her. He was still thinking it over when the waitress came over to them. A young racoon, Cynthia, took their orders in-between loudly popping large bubbles with the gum she was chewing.

                 “So-“

 “Please don’t ask me anything about work.” Judy interrupted, holding up a paw. “I just want to pretend I don’t sing at a bar and that maybe we’re friends?”

                 Nick was stunned for a moment before offering a nod. The waitress, Cynthia, chose this moment to bring them their drinks. A carrot cake milkshake for Judy and a blueberry milkshake for Nick.

                 “Okay, so nothing work related. What would you like to talk about then?” Nick asks, watching Judy’s eyes close in something close to ecstasy as she takes the first sip of her drink.

                 “I’m- not actually sure. Things are easier at the club when I’m this whole different bunny. Amethyst knows what to say and when to say it. I’m just Judy.”

                 “I think just Judy is okay. What does Judy like?” Nick offers Judy a small smile, trying to coax her out of her shell more. He wants, needs, to know more about the bunny that so confidently asked him to dinner before becoming something entirely different.

                 “Books, I like to read. I enjoy studying, ya know?” Judy distractedly plays with her straw as she looks at a spot on the wall behind Nick’s head. “What about you slick?”

                 “Books? Yes, I do enjoy a good book occasionally. I like the books cowritten by that Savage guy. The bunny that does all the secret agent stuff. I know they’re still fictional but it’s so fun to think about.” Nick wasn’t lying either. Some nights when training got hard and he was beaten down by the stereotypes surrounding foxes he would lose himself in a Savage novel and remember why he had wanted to be a cop. “Studying is much worse for me, I think. I hate being forced to read and understand something. I want to read because I enjoy it.”

                 “You read Savage?” Judy said with a laugh. “Those books are so full of baloney! He always beats the bad guy and beds the poor bunny who won’t hear from him the next day. The guy is an absolute jerk.”

                 “But you read the books, don’t you?” Nick asked with a smirk.

                 There was a small break in the conversation as Cynthia brought their food to the table. A veggieburger with fries for Judy and crepes with blueberries for Nick. They begin eating in silence for a moment before Nick adds:

                 “I like volunteering. I, uh- I host a Junior Ranger Scouts troop on the weekend. It’s one that is made only of predators. It was hard to get approved at first but, I think it’s good for the kids you know? We get together twice a month with other troops and it’s been good for the pred/prey relations.” Nick pushed a blueberry around his plate as he spoke. The troop had been hard to get approved, but the year and a half of struggling for the right to make his troop was worth it when they all got together. It made for a more positive experience than Nick’s had been. He repressed a shudder as he recalled the cold bite of a leather muzzle around his snout.

                 “Really?” Judy looked to Nick. “That is the most amazing thing I have heard all day, maybe all year.”

 Another moment passed between the two mammals before Judy spoke up, her voice a whisper.

                 “I don’t even know your name. I say we should talk like friends and leave work behind and I’ve been referring to you as sly for the last hour.”

                 “Piberius Wilde. I usually just go by Wilde though. It’s easier than Piberius, it also sounds nicer.” Though guilt laced through Nick’s body he extended a paw across the table to Judy who hesitated only a moment before placing her own in it.

                 “Judy. Well, Judith. Judith Laverne Hopps.” She smiles, it’s a bright true smile and Nick finds that he sincerely likes it.

                 “Well, Judy, it’s nice to finally make your acquaintance.” Nick smiles at her as he gets back to work on his crepes.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

                 Dinner ended quickly, almost too quickly for Nick. The conversation had started to flow more freely and openly. They even stayed for dessert and coffee. Still, the diner was closing and it was getting late. A desk full of work was beckoning to Nick and it was getting harder and harder to ignore his responsibilities.

                 Unable to call it a night just yet Nick offered to walk Judy home.

                 “It’s the least I can do.” The red fox states as they neared Judy’s apartment building.

                 “Still- I just.. thank you.” Judy said as she walked up the steps to her building. “this was nice of you. You would think that I make a lot of friends singing at a kind of popular night club but. I don’t. This, dinner and conversation, meant a lot to me. So, thank you.”

                 With a small smile and a half wave Judy turned and entered her building. Nick stood on the sidewalk a few extra moments, watching her go. The night air was crisp and warm feeling more like summer than spring. As the door latched and silence settled over the street Nick turned from the building with a smile on his face.

It really came to a head, when after a rough game, with Cassie trying to get treatments done while they were in the air leaving no time for her to actually grab dinner, that Nate pushed his luck.  As she grabbed a cookie and moved to head back to check on Bowen, Nate stepped in front of her and tried to take the cookie.

“As a member of the training staff, you should be eating something better than a cookie,” Nate growled at her, going to grab the cookie.  Everyone around them stopped.

“Touch the cookie Nate Dawg,” Cassie warned, “And you will find out how life on LTIR is when I break your hand after I punch you in the nose.”  

There was a brief stare off, while they both held an edge of the cookie.  When Nate didn’t let go, her eyes narrowed.

“You really should be nicer to the person who is about to have you on a med table and who hasn’t had time nor has the time to eat a full dinner because you idiots keep jumping in front of pucks, tripping on your non-existent toe picks, and slamming into huge dudes just as miserable as you are compacting bones in unnatural ways.  If I want a chocolate chip cookie, I will have a damn chocolate chip cookie,” she ended on a bellow.

By this time, Cale and Gabe had moved beside Cassie and Nate, Cale slowly moving towards Cassie while Gabe moved towards Nate.

“Just let go of the cookie, Nate,” Gabe said soothingly.  “Please don’t mess with the physical therapist who can hurt you in many torturous ways all while assuring you it has to hurt before it gets better.” Gabe slowly raised his hand towards Nate’s, hoping the dumbass would just let go of the cookie before he had to make him let go.

“Cassie, he’s going to let go of the cookie.  Or I can get you a new cookie,” Cale tried to calm her down.  She side eyed Cale and saw Devon hand him another cookie, which he held out to her.  Her eyes flicked back to Nate, before she took the offered cookie from Cale, while snapping the one Nate held in two.

And when Nate’s jaw dropped at what she’d done, she shoved the partial cookie in his mouth, closing her hand over it, before saying, “Eat the damn cookie.  Life’s too short to not eat the damn cookie!”  Before pushing past him towards the back of the plane.  

There was stunned silence for ten seconds, before Erik drawled, “How’s the cookie?” to Nate, causing everyone to start laughing.  

“She’s a menace,” Nate said around the mouthful of cookie, before he actually chewed and swallowed. 

“You only think that because everyone else lets you get away with being a dick,” Gabe retorted.  “And you may finally have met your match.”

********

For weeks after the cookie incident, Nate and Cassie kept their distance.  She would tend to let one of the other trainers look after him unless she had no other choice.  While Nate realized he’d been an ass about the cookie, not realizing how busy she had been with no chance of actually grabbing dinner, he also thought avoiding Cassie was the best plan.  While Cogs and Gabe tried to convince him to apologize, Nate thought dropping the subject would be a better idea.  And if he made sure that there were quick healthy snacks and fruit always there for the training staff, that was something no one needed to know.  

On what should have been just another regular Wednesday night in January where the Bruins were in town and you were hoping for two points - all hell broke out.  Cassie was just making her way up the tunnel to the bench at the start of the game, when Taylor Hall train wrecked Nate clearing the Avs zone.  Cassie watched Nate drop and then she saw all the blood and knew he was in trouble. 

“Jimmy, prep the room with towels, ice packs, saline and gauze,” she called to the training intern.  She watched as the other staff trainer was on the ice with Nate, trying to assess what was happening while Gabe was barking at Hall beside her.  She grabbed one of the ipads, to get the replay to see if she could get a better look at the hit.  

‘Dammit,” she muttered, when she saw it was the stick that clipped him hard.  “Get Doc down to the room please,” she asked over the headset.  She glanced to see that they had Nate up and he was heading to the bench, bitching the whole way.  She headed down to the room, making sure with a glance everything was ready while she pulled on gloves and waited.  

“Let’s get him on the table,” she guided him in and onto the table. “Jimmy, ice pack on the back of his neck,” she directed, moving to switch out the towel on his face, with a cool, wet one, wiping more blood away to get a better look, while having him hold gauze pads to his nose to catch the blood still pouring out.

“Scale of one to ten, where are you pain wise?” she asked, gently prodding him along his cheeks.

“Eight, fuck!  That fucking hurt,” he bellowed when she got close to his nose.  

“Stop whining,” she tossed back at him, slathering cool gel around his eyes and cheeks to try and minimize the swelling in case Doc wanted scans.

“What do we have, Cassie?” Doc asked, coming up to Nate.

“Broken nose for sure.  I think we’re gonna need scans because there might be a cheek fracture on the right side,” she detailed, moving to the side and sliding her hand over Nate’s as Doc checked him out.  Nate groaned and squeezed her hand when Doc checked his nose.

“Definitely need to see the damage to the septum,” Doc said quietly.  “Nate, we’re gonna get you changed and to the hospital for some scans. You might need surgery to fix this.”

“Fuck,” Nate swore loudly, as Doc went to call the hospital prepping them for Nate’s arrival.  

“Hey, it’s fixable,” Cassie said quietly.  “Let’s get you undressed, to the hospital and they’ll get you back on the ice in no time.”

Late that night, after another long game day, Cassie drove to the hospital to check on Nate.  She winced when she saw the scans, seeing they were going to have to repair Nate’s septum so he could breathe normally.  And Nate didn’t know that Cassie had sat by his bedside after the surgery so that he wasn’t alone until his Mom arrived.  But when he woke up, there was a bakery bag with a note.

"I'm a quite yummy gluten free chocolate chip cookie. And life's too short to not eat the cookie."

His Mom didn't say anything about the smile on his face as he ate the cookie.

********************

For the next few weeks, there was a truce between Nate and Cassie.  He missed some games and didn't get to play in the All Star game in Vegas after the surgery, but otherwise was healing normally. The team headed out on the road, and an otherwise normal night in frigid Minnesota,  the truce ended in spectacular fashion.

Matt Dumba hit Mikko as he entered the Wild zone, Mikko bouncing back up and carrying on, when Nate challenged Dumba to a fight.  Cassie watched in disbelief as Nate, fresh off the concussion and nose repair exchanged punches with the scrappy Dumba.

"What the fuck is he doing?" Cassie muttered, apparently loud enough for Coach Bednar to hear.

"Good question," he responded, watching the shenanigans with that not exactly happy coach face.

Cassie watched as Nate was escorted to the box, apparently none the worse for the fight.  But post game, after being reamed out by his coach, Nate sheepishly approached Cassie in the treatment room.

"Cass," he started.  She glanced up and then her eyes went wide when all she saw was Nate’s bare chest, before realizing he was holding up his hand.  "I think somethings wrong," he said.

She saw the swollen fingers, the bruises starting to come out on his hand and then the discoloration on his shoulder and shook her head in disbelief.

"You think something is wrong?" She muttered.   He nodded at her.  "You THINK something is wrong?" Her volume raised, as Nate shut the door.

"What gave it away, Nate?  When you decided just weeks after recovering from a concussion and nose surgery that it was a good idea to get in a fight?  Was that it? Or is it the fact that right now it looks like you've dislocated your shoulder and maybe fractured your hand?" She turned and pushed him onto the chair.

He followed her directions while she moved his shoulder, feeling how the muscles and tendons moved.  She tested the arm thoroughly and then moved to grab an ice pack to put on his hand.

“I need to go talk to Coach Bednar,” she told Nate, moving towards the door.  She didn’t realize he’d moved behind her until he reached over her to slam the door shut, his body pressed up behind her.

“Cass, what are you going to tell him?” Nate asked nervously.

“You have a sprained shoulder and until I get x-rays to confirm a possible hand fracture,” she responded.  “And I’m not signing off on you playing.”

“What the fuck,” Nate exclaimed.  “Cass, you can’t do that.”

“It’s my job to do that,” she countered, spinning around and finding herself facing a semi-naked and irate Nate right in her face.  “Back up, Nate,” she demanded.  The tension could have been cut by a knife as they stared at each other, waiting for the other to back down.

“You are so infuriating,” he bit out.  

“Tough shit,” she responded.  “My job is to protect you….” is as far as she got before Nate’s hand cupped the back of her head as he lips slammed into hers. Apparently her lips were all on board as her mind screamed not to kiss him back.  Who knows what would have happened if there hadn’t been a knock on the door and the handle started to twist. Nate jumped back, a look of shocked surprise on his face, while Cassie spun back to the door, to see Gabe poking his head in.

“Everything okay?” he asked, his head swinging between the two of them.

“Yes,”stated Nate at the same time Cassie said “No”.

“I need to talk to Coach Bednar,” Cassie said, pushing past Gabe.

“Cassie,” Nate called, but she didn’t turn around.  “Well, shit.”

“Nate, what’s going on?” Gabe asked him, noticing the bruising starting to appear on Nate’s arm.

“I fucked up,” he muttered.  “There’s something wrong with my shoulder and hand. She’s not going to let me play,” he paused.  “And I may have kissed her”

Gabe blinked several times trying to process that information.  “Okay.  She’s a little pissed at you getting in that fight,” Gabe agreed.  “As am I and the coaching staff,” he eyed him.  “And you kissed her?  You do nothing but complain what a hard-ass she is and you decided kissing her was the way to go?”  Gabe hissed at him.  “What were you thinking?”

“That I needed to shut her up for a minute so I could get her to not bench me,” Nate sighed.  “And that she looked so damn adorable when she was mad at me,”  he looked up at Gabe.  “I know, I know, not my finest moment.”

Before Gabe could respond, Coach Bednar is striding into the room, anger coming off him in waves.

“You are going back to Denver for proper assessment and treatment,” he started.  “And the only way you are going to be allowed back on the ice is if Cassie approves it.  No discussion.”  He walked out of the room, leaving a frustrated Nate staring after him.

“I’m sure this is going to be fascinating to watch,” Gabe laughed, walking out to tell the boys how much of an idiot Nate has been and to start the betting pool on when Cassie would kill him.

********

Cassie was giving Jimmy, her intern, all kinds of instructions which he was frantically noting on his IPad as she was pulling her bag off the bus the guys were taking to their charter flight to Calgary.  She wasn’t happy about having to fly back to Denver with Nate, but when the Coach and GM ask you to do something, you do it.  They didn’t know that she still hadn’t processed the fact that Nate had kissed her or that she had no idea what that meant.  Was it just a heat of the moment, he-man show of dominance?  Or was there something else to it?  Damned if she knew.

“Just call me if you have any questions,” she said to Jimmy when he looked a little panicked. “You’re going to be great.  You do this stuff all the time with me and I have no doubt you are going to rock this.”

“Thanks, Cassie.  You’re a great teacher,” Jimmy said, then turned when one of the other trainers called for help, waving to Cassie before jogging over to help load equipment.

Cassie sighed, before turning to look for sure to be grumpy Nate.  He was no doubt not happy being sent home and she was sure he was not going to be happy he had to get her to sign off on him playing again.  She spotted him huddled with Gabe and Cogs in what looked like a heated conversation.   

"Come on, Princess," she called, walking up to them.  "Say goodbye to the guys, we have a plane to catch."

“Princess?  I’m a Princess?” Nate growled.

“Would you prefer Diva?” Cassie asked calmly.  She waited for an answer, watching his mouth open and close, while there were snorts from the guys.  “Nate, I’m tired and we have a plane to catch that isn’t going to our next game but home because you had a moment and here we are.”  She turned to the guys.  “Have a good game guys, play smart and I’ll see you in a few days.”

Sliding the strap of her carryon bag over the handle of her suitcase, she started walking to the car that was waiting for them, knowing Nate could catch up to her in no time once he snapped out of his little pouty moment.  And he did, the two of them continuing to head to the car that would get them to the main airport.  After several minutes, Nate sighed and then turned his head towards her.

“I’m sorry, Cassie,” he said softly.  

“For what?” Cassie asked.  “Being the reason we’re heading home before everyone else?  Or for being an idiot and getting into a fight after just having your nose repaired?” Nate blinked when he realized she had said nothing about the kiss.  Interesting.

“All of it,” he said.  “Are you going to let me play?”

“Not until I know what all the tests say.  We have x-rays first thing tomorrow morning.  Doc set it up, so buckle up, Buttercup, we’re going to be spending a lot of time together over the next few days.”  

*******

Cassie hadn’t been kidding - they spent nearly the next twenty four hours either together or connected via text message.  She had fallen asleep on the plane, and somehow so had Nate despite him being uncomfortable.  He woke before her to find her snuggled into his side, using him as a pillow.  He smiled softly, thinking maybe she didn’t hate him as much as it seemed.  He said nothing when she woke up and proceeded to check his shoulder.  Then it was off to the hospital for x-rays - he was beginning to hate this building having spent so much time in it over the last month.  

Nate came out of the treatment room and saw Cassie standing in front of the nurses station, reviewing the scans and x-rays, a small frown between her eyes.  He watched as she flipped between them, stopping to zoom into one before moving to the next.  He wasn’t sure what to think when she sighed and stood looking into the distance.  He gave her another minute before he walked over to her, standing behind her to get a peek at the x-rays.

“Well?” he asked quietly.

“Your hand isn’t broken, but there is a chip in your middle finger.  And you sprained your shoulder,” she answered.  He nodded, waiting to hear her verdict.  “I need to call Bednar,” she grabbed her phone.  Nate clamped his hand over hers holding the phone.

“Cassie, don’t leave me hanging.  Are you going to let me play?” Nate’s voice had a slight plea to it.

Cassie looked up at him, seeing his worry.  She really could mess with him here - which he kinda deserved after being stupid enough to get in the fight, but something stopped her.

“I’m recommending a couple of days PT, and then we will reassess.” she nodded at the x-ray of the hand.  “I’m a little worried about that chip and how you will be able to grip your stick.  The main PT will be to keep your shoulder moving and loose while it heals.”  She looked back up at him.  “I’m not letting you on the ice for at least a week.”

“Text me the PT schedule,” he said, before turning and heading to the exit.  He knew there was no way he could argue with her because Bednar had given her all the power.  And if he yelled in frustration when he got home, no one knew or heard.

*********

Cassie was on the treadmill at the Avs facility, trying to release some of the stress that had been mounting for weeks.  Yes, she realized that the biggest source of her stress was a large, blond, ridiculously hot center and a situation that she didn’t seem to have any control over.  She wasn’t sure what to think about that kiss that kept replaying over and over in her head.  What did it mean?  Why hadn’t he said anything?  And because he hadn’t brought it up, she wasn’t bringing it up either.  She knew that wasn’t the healthiest but so be it.

She was so deep in her head that she hadn’t noticed that Nate had come in and was on the treadmill beside her.  She barely registered the beeping telling her she was starting to cool down after having done five miles without actually realizing she had.  It took hearing Gabe’s voice asking Nate a question to pop her back into reality.  She quickly wiped down the equipment before heading to her office to prep for the day.   Today was the day for Nate’s reassessment and she was so ready for this period of anxiety to be over.

Coach Bednar was discussing Nate’s progress with Cassie when Nate walked into the treatment room.  He stripped off his sweatshirt and jumped up on the table, waiting for Cassie.  He was pretty confident that she was going to clear him. He had followed everything she had given him to do or not do - including no ice time or weight room.  Other than the treadmill, he hadn’t had much of an outlet for his frustration.  The positive was that his cardio was incredible.

“Okay, let’s get started,” Cassie had snapped gloves on and walked over to Nate.  She started with checking the range of motion in the shoulder - watching for any reaction from Nate and feeling the movements through her hands.  After twenty minutes, she handed him a stick and told him to grip it, first bare handed and then with gloves on.  Coach watched and when Cassie gave him a nod, he patted Nate on the shoulder and stated, “See you on the ice,” before leaving the room.

“You’re good to go,” Cassie advised when Nate didn’t leave.  He nodded, not sure whether he should say anything.

“Cassie?” he said quietly, waiting for her to look up at him.  She hadn’t noticed him coming up behind her until she turned and he was right there in all his shirtless glory.  How did he do that?  Sneaky ninja skills. His eyes searched her face, as she waited for him to continue.  Cassie realized she was going to miss Nate, miss having her hands on all that muscle, now that he’d been cleared to play.  She wasn’t sure what he’d seen, but as he made to take a step back, she hooked a foot behind his knee and pulled him forward, knocking him off balance, his hands slamming into the counter on either side of Cassie for balance.  The surprise on his face was nothing to the shock that appeared when she said, “I think you should kiss me again.”

She reached to pull his mouth to hers, which shook Nate out of his surprise and his hands gripped her hips and lifted her onto the counter as his lips crashed into hers.  It was all hunger and pent up longing in one glorious sweep of his tongue dancing with hers. A crash in the hall had them pulling apart, eyes locked.

“You need to get ready for practice,” Cassie whispered.

“This isn’t over,” Nate answered, dipping his head to softly bring his lips to hers.  “Not by a long shot.  Have dinner with me tonight?” he asked, forehead meeting hers while he waited for her answer.  She nodded, giving him a quick peck before pushing him back.

“Get out of here and get ready for practice Hot Shot,” she told him, turning to clean the table he’d been sitting on.  “And don’t block any pucks,” she called as he went through the door.  She heard his laugh as he went to get changed for practice.

*******

Cassie and Nate kept their dating a secret for all of two weeks, when Cale of all people caught them.  Poor guy, all he had wanted was to make sure there wasn’t any damage from blocking a puck, when he opened the door, asking Cassie for help and then stopping dead in his tracks when he saw Nate sneaking a kiss.  He backed out of the room, hitting Erik who then let everyone know that he’d called it and to pay up.

“This is all your fault, Hot Shot,” Cassie shook her finger at Nate, who promptly sucked it into his mouth before she poked him.  “We’ll keep it on the down low he said until we’re ready to tell them,” she mocked.

“You weren’t very covert,” Cogs said loudly.  “I saw Nate sneaking into your room in Dallas.”

“And Maddie and I saw you holding hands leaving the restaurant last Saturday,” NAK confirmed.

“Not to mention he brought her a cookie before the game,” Bo added, causing Cassie to groan and bury her head in Nate’s chest.  They were never going to live this down.

“Fine,” Nate glared at them.  “You all told me what an amazing girl she was and I needed to stop fighting with her.  I just took all of your advice.”

Gabe looked at Erik, and then back at Nate.  “Cassie, promise me you will still be on his ass all the time for his stupid shit.”  Cassie’s eyes widened in surprise.

“He may be a good kisser, Gabe, but I’m gonna keep calling him out on his dumb shit,” Cassie answered him with a nod.  Nate pinched her and she kicked him in the shin. 

“Heaven help us,” Gabe snorted, turning back to getting changed.  The others followed him, sly grins on their faces.

Cassie kept her word to Gabe.  For the rest of the season and into the playoffs, she called Nate out whenever it was needed.  When he blocked a puck and kept saying he was fine until she saw the bruising and he knew he was in for it when she very deliberately pressed her finger into the center of the bruise until he groaned.  He made sure she remembered to eat while she took care of all the injuries.  He’d been there when she was exhausted after spending the night in the hospital when Naz had his surgery, Cassie insisting she needed to get to the rink and make sure everyone else was fine - taking her home and using his kissing skills to relax her enough to pass out.

On an incredible June night in Tampa, when the clock wound down and they won the Stanley Cup, Cassie had watched with tears in her eyes as Nate hoisted the Cup. They’d finally won something.

During a summer of never-ending Cup celebrations,  Cassie was kept busy keeping track of everyone’s rehab.  The next season was the hardest season for her,  with pretty much everyone getting injured, including not the best patient Nate, at least once.  She considered wrapping Mikko in bubble wrap at one point as he was one of the few who hadn’t missed time with something.  Nate subtly made sure Cassie was taking care of herself during all of it, from making sure she ate to dragging her away from the rink for some relaxation.

The disappointment of getting knocked out in the first round was strong, but after the short summer and all the injuries, it was maybe a blessing.  There was a lot of healing that needed to happen.  And there was always next season.

And on a quiet night in July, just before Cassie and Nate were set to head to British Columbia and Tyson’s wedding, Cassie was sitting on the dock, enjoying the quiet.  She laughed when Knox stuck his face in her lap with big eyes begging for some loving.

“You are a very needy dog, just like your Daddy,” she was scratching his ears with a smile on her face, knowing Nate was behind her.

“Hey, I am not that needy,” Nate argued, setting a tray on the table.  “I brought you a snack,” he dropped a kiss to her forehead and waited.  

Cassie glanced at the tray and did a doubletake. On a very pretty china plate was a huge chocolate chip cookie with a message - Marry Me.  Her eyes flew to Nate, who was on one knee with a ring between his fingers.

“It seemed fitting as it all started with a cookie,” he smiled.  “And a very wise woman once told me that life is too short to not enjoy the cookies.”  She rolled her eyes, before leaning forward and kissing him.

“Yes, I’ll marry you,” she answered, Nate sliding the ring on her finger.  “But I’m not sharing the cookie.”  Nate started laughing, hauling her up and into his arms.

It all started when he was five and his parents' friends, the Taylors, brought their new baby girl home from the hospital.  They had lived next door to Nate for as long as he could remember, and he wasn’t that impressed that they had had a baby who obviously wasn’t big enough to play with him.  He had gone with his Mom to welcome them home, and he didn’t know why everyone was making a big deal over a baby.  But things changed for him when the little girl had opened her eyes and latched onto his finger when he had sneaked a peek at her.  That was when little Nate had decided that Maddie needed to be protected and that was going to be his job.

Through the years, it wasn’t unusual for Maddie to not be near Nate.  She was merely days old when her parents bundled her up and took her to her first hockey game - Nate was but another little Timbit with big dreams about playing in the NHL.  Summers were spent with Maddie playing with her dolls, drawing or reading under the big maple tree in the yard as Nate shot hundreds of pucks in the driveway perfecting his skills.  She was there cheering him on at all his games and she was the first person he always came to see after those games in the hall where the parents waited.  

Nine year old Maddie was the first person Nate told when he made the decision to go to Shattuck-St. Mary’s to play hockey.  She was heartbroken that Nate was leaving, but never let it show.  And for those two years, Nate received at least one hand written letter from Maddie every week, filling him in on everything that was happening at home.  He would try to remember to write back, but wasn’t always the best at it, but he looked forward to her letters more than anyone knew.

Coming home to Nova Scotia was a revelation for Nate.  Playing for the Mooseheads meant he could see his family and Maddie, all the time.  Except Maddie had school and activities of her own now, and didn’t always make it to his home games.  Through emails and texts they kept up to date and involved in their own worlds.  She was his biggest cheerleader when he went to World Juniors and when he won the Memorial Cup.  

Nate had laughed when after all the speculation of whether he was going to be drafted first in the NHL draft happened, Maddie had just grumbled that there were tons of teams on the east coast and he had to be picked by a team that was in a stupid time zone for her to be able to watch him on TV.  

As all friendships experience, the distance between them and the difference in their ages, caused the two of them to sort of lose touch.  Nate did always come home for the summers and he always made a point of checking in with Maddie, but she was busy with her summer job and friends, while he was busy training and with his friends.  He always knew she was smart, way smarter than him, so wasn’t in the least bit surprised when she excelled at university.  They seemed to miss each other during the next few summers as she stayed on campus to work and take a few extra courses.

If Nate was a little surprised when his Mom called to tell him that Maddie was moving to Denver for her new job, he hid it well that he was upset that Maddie hadn’t called him herself. He volunteered to help get her settled and gathered a bunch of the guys to help move her into her new apartment. And of course, because why wouldn’t they, the team welcomed her into their group immediately.  Mel and Gabe basically adopted her; she somehow was able to control EJ when he was at his craziest EJ; and the young guys fought over who got to ask her to be their date for team events.  

And maybe that was when the problem started. For the third time in a week, Maddie seemed to be surrounded by all the young guys at the bar when they went out after a game.  She never ignored Nate, but there was always someone trying to get her attention. Nate was starting to realize he didn’t like not being her first choice for anything anymore.

Nate didn’t notice that Gabe had come up beside him, or that Gabe knew exactly what or who Nate was frowning at, rolling his eyes at his friend being oblivious to what was happening.  The young guys had figured out that they could push all of Nate’s buttons by monopolizing Maddie’s time and attention.  And there was nothing they loved more than making Nate more human.

“Any particular reason you are glaring at Madison?” Gabe asked.

“What? I’m not glaring at her,” Nate retorted.  After a pause, he grumbled, “Bo keeps touching her.”

“I think he’s just making sure no one bumps into her,” Gabe responded.  "Although there wouldn't be anything wrong if he was, he's a good kid and Maddie seems to like him."

Nate turned in disbelief, frowning at Gabe for that statement.  He returned to glaring when he noticed that Cale had brought her another drink and was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek, causing Cale to redden even more than normal.

"For fuck's sake," Nate growled.

"What's his problem?" EJ asked Gabe as he walked up and heard the growl. 

"It seems Nate isn't too happy about sharing," Gabe answered, nodding to where Maddie was standing. 

"Ah, yeah that has to suck," EJ poked the bear.  "She seems to get along with Cale and the kids, probably because they're closer in age."

“She is only five years younger than me and I’ve known her since she came home from the hospital,” Nate grumped.  “I went to every damn dance recital, school play and graduation she’s ever had.  She’s like a sister.”

“But she’s not your sister,” Gabe replied calmly.  “And I think all of a sudden, Little Maddie isn’t just the little girl next door and you have no idea why it bothers you so much that the guys are all drawn to her.”

EJ and Gabe watched a bunch of emotions cross Nate’s face, before it was like a lightbulb went off in his head.  “Well, shit,” Nate muttered.

“I think he gets it now,” EJ nudged Gabe.

“The real question now is what is Nate going to do about it?” Gabe asked.

And Nate didn’t have a clue.

********

Ghosting Maddie probably wasn’t the best route that Nate could have taken.  He hadn’t actually meant to, it just kind of happened.  The next day, the Avs had headed out on the road for two weeks and with time zones and travel, Nate never seemed to be available to answer Maddie’s texts or calls.  And when he did get time, Maddie was at work or already asleep.  It didn’t help that apparently Cale and Bo were talking to Maddie all the time on their trip.  

As per their normal routine, when Nate came back from a road trip he’d head to Maddie’s for dinner and to catch up on the show they were watching together.  Currently they were watching Chicago Fire - Maddie’s choice - and probably had something to do with hot firefighters, but Nate didn’t really care.  It was more about the conversation than the actual show.  

The whole time they were eating, Nate thought there was something that was bugging Maddiem but he waited to see if she would bring whatever it was up on her own.  But as they were cleaning up the dishes, he decided to push a little to get her to talk.

“What’s going on that brain of yours, Mads?” Nate asked, turning her to face him.  “You know you can talk to me about anything,”  He watched as an emotion he couldn’t place flitted across her face, before she sighed.

“I don’t want you to be mad, but AlexaskedmeoutandImightsayyes,” came out as one word.  Nate ran it slowly through his head before he realized what she’d said.  

“Alex?  As in Newhook?” he asked in confusion.  Definitely not who he’d been expecting.  “To the fundraiser next week?”

“No.  On a date - date,” Maddie clarified.  “I don’t want you to be mad because he’s one of your teammates, and it could be awkward…” she trailed off.

Nate wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say.  On one hand he wanted to tell her he didn’t want her dating his teammates because he wanted to date her; while on the other, he didn’t want to upset her if she really liked Alex.  He must have taken too long to answer because Maddie started word vomiting,

“You know what, I’ll just tell him that it’s probably not a good idea and that I think we should just be.” she stopped when Nate put a finger on her lips.

“Do you like Alex?” Nate asked softly.

“Well, yes, but it doesn’t matter.  You don’t want me to”

“I never said I didn’t want you to.  If you like him and want to date Alex, it shouldn’t matter what I think.  I want you to be happy,” Nate tried not to choke on the words.

Maddie stared at him, almost like she wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not.  That was the problem - she knew when he was telling the truth and when he was lying,

“You don’t want me to date him,” Maddie stated softly.  “Why?”

“If you want to date Alex, date Alex,” Nate responded.  “It shouldn’t matter what I think.”  Stepping away, he started gathering his wallet, keys and phone.  “I’m going to take a raincheck on the show - I’m kinda tired.  See you after the game tomorrow.”

Nate dropped a kiss on her forehead and was out the door before Maddie could say anything.  He didn’t see the hurt and confusion on her face as the door closed behind him.  And he definitely didn’t hear her say, “But it’s always mattered.”

******

Nate got in and started the car, but sat there thinking.  He knew he couldn’t talk to Gabe or EJ or even Devon about this.  They would all tell him he was being an idiot and to just tell her how he felt.  It finally struck him that the person he could call is the same one he always called when making big decisions. 

As soon as Sid answered, Nate started with, “I think I’m in love with Maddie.”  

There were two seconds of silence and then Sid burst out laughing.  When he finally got that out of his system, he responded.

“You are just figuring that out now?” Sid chuckled.  “You have been in love with her since you laid eyes on her when she was a day old.”

“That sounds creepy,” Nate muttered.

“It’s evolved.  You always were super protective of her, whether you were in Cole Harbour or not.  She didn’t date until she went to university because no one at home wanted to cross you.”

“She’s going to go on a date with Newhook,” Nate groused.  “I don’t think she thinks of me the same way.”

“Ah, so that’s what this is about,” Sid sighed.  “Do you think Maddie moved to Colorado for an unbelievable job or because it was a good job and you were there?  She could have gone anywhere but she chose the job where you were.  Why do you think she did that?  And why else would she write to you - handwritten letters at that - every week if she didn’t feel the same way.  She has been trying to tell you how she feels and you have been oblivious.”

“But, she’s going out with one of my teammates,” Nate exclaimed.  “Why would she do that if she likes me?”

“Maybe because she’s tired of waiting for you to get your shit together,” Sid suggested.  “I guess you need to decide whether you are going to go back upstairs and tell her you don’t want her to date anyone but you.  Or you go home and sulk and watch her date one of your friends.”

“I’ll call you later,” Nate turned off the car and headed back upstairs to put it all on the line with Maddie.

He was out of breath when he pounded on her door.  Maddie was surprised to see him and was worried something had happened.

“Nate, what’s wrong?  Are you okay?” She was checking him for signs of an injury as she pulled him into her apartment.  He’d been gone all of ten minutes.

“No…Yes….” Nate stumbled over his words.  “I don’t want you to date Alex because I want you to date me.”  

He watched as her eyes grew large with surprise and disbelief.  She started shaking her head.

“No, let me explain,” Nate rushed, grabbing her hands so she couldn’t move away while he tried to explain. 

“I have loved you since I first saw you,” he started.  “I know that sounds creepy but it’s evolved over time, and I realize that as we’ve both gotten older, the one person I always turn to is you.  And I want you to turn to me.  I want to be a team of two.  And when you said Alex had asked you out, I didn’t know what to do but I wanted you to be happy and if that was dating Alex I had to let you.  But you didn’t have all the information and I needed to tell you I love you.  I always have.  And if you don’t feel the same way, I will let you go.  But I will always be there for you - no matter what you decide.”  

Maddie had let Nate get it all out, slowly raising her hands to cover his on her shoulders, so when he went to pull away she held him in place.  She slowly raised one hand to cup his cheek.

“I love you too,” she said softly.  “Always have, always will.”

“Seriously?” Nate watched a soft smile cross her lips.

“Yes.  Do you really think I moved to Denver for a job?  I’ve watched you leave me for hockey my whole life, so I knew I had to move to you if I wanted anything with you before you were done with hockey.  But you didn’t seem to get the hint and then the guys concocted this whole elaborate scheme to get you to clue in, but you just said you didn’t care if I went out with Alex and…”

Nate stopped her by kissing her.  And it conveyed everything he was feeling.  When they broke apart, he leaned his forehead against hers, smiling at the stunned look on her face.

“I lied.  I cared way too much,” he whispered.

“Good to know,” Maddie smiled.  

After cuddling on the couch for a bit, Nate got ready to leave.  As Maddie walked him to the door she asked the question that was in her head.

“You called Sid didn’t you?”

She laughed at the surprised then guilty look on his face.