#federation!cellbit

After Quackity grew back, he completely avoided everything to do with magic. He tried to ignore the fact that he had been tiny. He tried to ignore the fact that he had wings. In general, he tried to ignore the fact that fairies existed and that he might be one of them. 

It had been a month since Tommy had thrown the dust on him and he had shrunken to fairy size. He hadn’t been back to the grove since that night and he tried to avoid the forest as much as possible. 

“Me veo muy gacho.” Quackity muttered as he glanced up at his reflection as he finished washing his hands in the restroom. (I look really crappy.) 

There was nothing immediately wrong with his appearance. It was the same tired eyes and crooked beanie as before. But after his visit to the fairies and the discovery that he might be half-fairy, it felt like something changed. Every time he looked in the mirror, it felt like something was missing. He looked too dull, like all the magic and energy had been sucked out of him, too human. 

Nothing had noticeably changed, but Quackity couldn’t help thinking he looked different. 

“Ya me cargó el payaso.” He murmured as he walked out of the restroom and back onto the sales floor for BigBuy. (I am so screwed.)

Quackity went through the motions of the day. Stocking shelves, talking with customers, cleaning up spills. He counted down the hours until his shift was over. There wasn’t anything particularly exciting that he had after planned after work, but at least he wouldn’t be working. 

An hour before his shift ended, Quackity noticed something weird.

There was a white guy in the store. 

The man wasn’t Caucasian, Quackity saw those kind of white people all the time, or nor did he have albinism. But instead the man was an entirely unnatural shade of white. It was almost a complete void of all color, rather than any particular color itself. The stranger’s attire was also weird. Who wears a white 6 piece suit to the grocery store in the suburbs? He didn’t appear to be doing anything out of the ordinary, just buying some berries and-

“Hey! Hey!” 

Quackity train of thought was rudely interrupted. 

“Are we paid to just stand around and stare at the customers?” Juan asked in an irate tone in English. He thought using Spanish on the sales floor was “unprofessional”. 

“No…” Quackity said. 

Juan and Quackity had never gotten along. When Quackity had first started working at BigBuy as a quick way to help pay for his mom’s medical expenses, he never expected to stay there. It was a part time gig at a grocery chain. Nothing serious. Nevermind that the part time gig turned into a full time job that he’s been working for the past few years. Wow his life is depressing. 

Juan, on the other hand, was fully invested. He wanted to work for BigBuy his whole life and become a general manager, or maybe even own a chain. As a result, he took everything way too seriously and got on everyone’s nerves. 

“Time is money Quackity. Do you know how many BigBuy dollars you are wasting right now by just standing around?” Juan stared down at Quackity. 

“I wasn’t aware that we had our own currency.” Quackity retorted, entirely disinterested in dealing with Juan. 

He shifted his weight to peak around Juan slightly to see if he could spot the unusual customer again. 

“We’re not stock boys anymore, Quackity. We need to take this seriously. And you wonder why Schlatt wants me to be assistant manager…” Juan sighed and shook his head. 

“There’s an open position? Schlatt didn’t tell me about that.” Quackity redirected his attention to Juan. 

He thought that he and Schlatt had always had a decent enough relationship, but if the general manager didn’t tell him about the position then maybe he was wrong. The assistant manager position came with a nice pay raise, and Quackity could certainly use the money. 

“Why would he? He knows you don’t have what it takes.” Juan spat. “Go help the customers.” He ordered as he walked away. 

Quackity rolled his eyes. He looked back to where the strange white man had been shopping. 

An empty isle. Damn. There goes his entertainment. 

As Quackity turned to walk down a different isle, he was accosted by the sight of the white man mere inches in front of him. 

“Good afternoon.” The customer said, unperturbed by their proximity. 

“Hello, is there anything I can help you with?” Quackity asked in his best customer service voice. 

“Which of these is pure iron?” The man asked as he pulled two packages of nails that he probably grabbed from the hardware section from his basket. 

“Uh…” Quackity stared at the nails, then looked up at the man creep. 

Whatever the thing before him was, it certainly wasn’t a man or human by any stretch of the imagination. In addition to it being as pale as a porcelain toilet, the creep had unnaturally large irises that were pitch black and long black nails that looked too much like claws to be a simple manicure. 

“Let check me on our app.” Quackity said, defaulting to his customer service script. 

He pulled out his phone to take a picture of the products, but Quackity stopped just shy of pressing the button. Instead of pale, long, claw-like hands, there were regular human hands. Quackity stared in bewilderment. Slowly, he raised the camera up to the creep’s confused face. Instead of showing the phantomesque figure before him, the app showed an average, albeit confused man. 

“Are you alright?” The man(?) asked. 

“I’m fine…” Quackity replied. Thinking quickly, he said, “There seems to be an error with the app. Will you please follow me to the customer service desk?”

“Yes.”

Quackity walked stiffly to the customer service desk. The creep followed directly behind him, sending shivers up his spine the entire time. It felt like turning your back to a bear while it was licking its lips. 

On his way to the customer service desk, Quackity walked by the A/V section. A wall of tvs was to his left and a video camera to his right. The camera was connected to the tvs as a part of a demonstration of the recording and display capabilities. As the creep passed the camera, Quackity looked towards the screens. Each screen perfectly displayed a regular man walking in an identical fashion to the thing behind him, wearing the same clothes and carrying the same basket. 

Maybe Quackity was just going insane. That would explain a lot actually. 

Eventually they reached the customer service desk where Missa comfortably sat. Quackity explained the issue with the nails to Missa. As the creep placed his hand basket on the counter to get the nails, Quackity couldn’t help but look in the basket. Lighter fluid, oil, matches, salt, jars. What was this thing doing?

He glanced over at Missa who was chatting with the creature then pointedly looked at the basket. Missa gave him a look back, he thought it was weird too. 

Missa handed the nails back. 

“It looks like these nails are steel,” Missa handed one box over, “and these are aluminum,” he handed the other box over. 

“Where can I find iron nails?” The creature asked. 

“I would look in the garden section or maybe a hardware store. I do not think we sell them here.” Missa replied. 

Without another word or regard to Quackity, the creature walked off. 

Quackity watched him go, then turned to Missa as soon as he was out of their sightline.

“¿Qué es eso?” He exclaimed. (What is that?)

“…¿un hombre?” Missa replied, confused. (…a man?)

“¿El es un hombre normal?” (Is he a normal man?) Quackity asked, praying Missa would see the same thing Quackity saw.

“No. ¿Qué tipo de hombre compraría clavos mientras llevaría un traje?” Missa wondered. (No. What type of man buys nails while wearing a suit?)

“Pero, el hombre se ve normal?” (But, the man looked normal?)

“Más o menos.” Missa shrugged.  (More or less.)

Quackity groaned.

“¿Sabes sobre el puesto de asistente manager?” Missa changed the subject. (Do you know about the position of assistant manager?)

“Sí, Juan me dijo lo sobre. Quiere el puesto.” (Yeah, Juan told me about it. He wants the position.)

“¿En serio?” Missa groaned. “Si el gana, sería horrible.” (Really? If he won, it would be horrible.)

Quackity nodded grimly. 

“¡Tengo una idea! Debe solicitar. Schlatt le gusta te. ¡Si te ganas, sería genial!” Missa grinned. “No puedo ganar porque Schlatt no me quiere después de tuvo un fight club con los Roombas.” (I have an idea! You should apply. Schlatt likes you. If you win, it would be great. I wouldn’t win because Schlatt doesn’t like me after I had a fight club with the Roombas.”

“No se…” Quackity readjusted his beanie, a nervous habit. (I don’t know.)

“Tu debe solicitar.” Missa pressed. “Por me.” He bat his eyes dramatically at Quackity. (You should apply. For me.)

“Voy a pensar sobre lo.” (I will think about it.) Quackity laughed. 

“¿Vamos a casa de Roier después del trabajo?” Missa leaned back in his chair. (Are we going to Roier’s house after work?)

“No voy.” Quackity shook his head. (I’m not going.)

Whatever happened with the strange man from earlier had to be magical. And if he wanted to more about it, he would have to talk to magical creatures directly. 

“¿Por qué?” Missa looked at Quackity with concern and curiosity. (Why?)

“Necesito hablar con un amigo.” Quackity shrugged, trying to make it not seem like a big deal. (I need to talk with a friend.)

Missa looked more concerned, but thankfully he dropped it.

They chatted about a few other things, soccer, the weather, and the latest neighborhood gossip. Then, Quackity left Missa and began to walk around the store, looking for customers who needed help. He checked his phone. 30 minutes left on his shift. A half hour until he could talk to the fairies. 

————- 

“Hey! Tommy! Tubbo!” 

Quackity had been shouting in the woods for the past ten minutes. He was near the area where he had first found the fairies and where he had met them before, but there was nothing. 

“Fairies! Come out!” He shouted, ignoring the piece of him that questioned if they were deciding to ignore him. 

A woman jogged past him with her dog. She gave him a weird look. 

Quackity smiled awkwardly and waved. He stammered to come up with an excuse, but she was gone too quickly for him to piece together anything semi-plausible. 

Then Quackity heard a light ringing. 

He turned back to the forest excitedly, looking for Tommy or Tubbo. Instead, he found a fairy with a long, pink braid flying a few feet away from him. It was the same one who had attacked Quackity a few months ago and given him the scar below his eye. The fairy seemed to be laughing at his encounter with the jogger. 

Quackity took a cautious step back, curious if the fairy would attack him again but it seemed to show no malice. 

“Who are you?” He scowled, wishing Tommy and Tubbo were there. 

A jingle of bells. 

Right.

“I can’t understand you.” Quackity said. 

The fairy shook his head and seemed to dig around in a satchel tied to his hip. It took Quackity a minute to realize what the fairy was about to do.

“Wait! No-“

It was too late. The fairy threw the pixie dust directly at his face. Quackity felt a sudden wave of vertigo. Then he passed out. 

————- 

Quackity woke up to a pair of ruby red eyes staring directly at him. 

He shouted and backed away on all fours in attempt to put some distance between himself and the stranger. The fairy took a few steps back, equally shocked. 

“Heh?” The fairy let out a confused noise while Quackity tried to get a sense of his surroundings. 

He was tiny again. The woods loomed above him. This was fine. He needed to speak with fairies and to do that he needed to be tiny again. This was exactly what he’d been wanting. No need to freak out. 

“Who are you?” The strange fairy asked. 

His hand was on the hilt of an impressive sword that looked like it could do some heavy damage. Correction: He knew it could do heavy damage. Quackity remembered getting slashed by it at human scale. He didn’t want to know what it could do to him at fairy size. 

“I’m Quackity, I need to speak with Philza.” He said, looking up at the fairy. 

Apart from the very dangerous sword, the fairy seemed to have several other weapons on his person. He looked like a modern day viking. He wore a bright red cape that looked to be made from a Dorito’s bag. Quackity couldn’t help snickering a little at the revelation.

“And you just… shrunk?” The fairy asked. 

“The pixie dust makes me shrink.” Quackity pointed to the pixie dust bag. “I’m half fairy?” He meant for it to be a statement but it came out more like a question. 

The fairy stepped forward and offered Quackity a hand. Quackity happily took it and was unceremoniously yanked to his feet. The strange fairy was strong. That felt wrong somehow, considering Quackity had swatted him away the first time they unofficially met. 

“…and you are?” Quackity asked when the fairy made no move to introduce himself. 

“Oh, Technoblade, Captain of the Sparrow Guard.” 

————- 

“Phil! There’s someone here to see you!” Techno called as soon as he landed on one of the branches of Heart Tree. He placed his hand on a vine wrapping around the tree and channeled his magic through it to ensure it reached the roots where Phil’s lab was. 

Quackity landed with a thump behind Techno. Although, landed may have been a generous term. Quackity clung to the branch and awkwardly scrambled his way to a standing position, holding his hands out for stability once he was standing. Clearly, he needed to work on his landings. 

“Oh? And who’s that?” Phil asked through the vine. 

“He says he’s some sort of half-fairy.” Techno replied, hoping Phil could hear the confusion in his voice through the transmission. 

“Quackity?” Phil said with surprise. “I’ll be right up.”

While they were waiting, Techno guided Quackity into the Heart tree through a carved hole. They were on the main level for the Sparrow Guard, so the interior was covered with weapons, armor, and maps. Phil joined them shortly. 

Quackity seemed to relax when he saw Phil. They greeted each other kindly. 

Techno knew they couldn’t have known each other long, but he still felt slightly awkward. Maybe he should just leave…

“Quackity, I didn’t think you would be back. Tommy and Tubbo miss you.” Phil said with a teasing laugh. 

“Yeah, I thought I was gone for good too.” Quackity replied, readjusting his beanie. “But I’ve got a question.”

“Is that so?”

Techno started to edge towards the door, intending on returning back to patrol. Phil seemed to have the situation under control. 

“Are there other magical creatures other than fairies?” Quackity asked. 

Techno paused. 

“What do you mean?” Phil asked, suddenly serious. 

“I don’t know. There was this really weird guy at work who was white, like as white as snow, except none of the cameras showed it. And now that I’m thinking about it, I’m probably overthinking and I shouldn’t assume you know all about any of that and-“ Quackity began to walk away. 

Techno stared at Quackity. If what Quackity was describing was correct, then the fairies were in serious danger. 

“Did he have black eyes?” Phil asked in a whisper. “And black claws?”

“Yeah, how did you k-“ Quackity was interrupted as Phil swore loudly. 

“That’s not good,” Techno frowned. “What did he do? Did he try and hurt you?”

“What? No.” Quackity sounded alarmed. “Who was that guy?”

“A Federation member.” Techno answered. “Are you sure he didn’t follow you?”

“Yes, I’m sure. What’s the Federation? Why are you so worried?”

“It’s a very powerful guild of wizards.” Phil explained. “Their dark magic warps their bodies and destroys their humanity. Humans can’t generate magic on their own, so they hunt fairies to extract their magic from them. Usually they use glamour spells to hide their true form from humans.”

Quackity shivered at the thought of the Federation member. 

“But then how can I see them? And why didn’t they notice me?” He asked. 

“It probably has something to do with the fact you’re half-fairy. Maybe the contact with pixie dust activated some of the latent magic in you?” Phil mused. The he shook his head to clear his mind. “Techno, if Quackity’s reports have any standing, we need to prepare.”

“On it.” Techno flew away to contact and organize the Sparrow Guard. He already had a strategy in mind. 

————- 

The dust, unfortunately, had not worn off by the time dinner rolled around. However, Phil kindly invited Quackity to join them for dinner. 

It turned out to be far more of a community event than Quackity had initially expected. The whole village gathered in the village center while the chefs brought large platters onto a communal table. 

Tubbo and Tommy were overjoyed to see Quackity again and Quackity would be lying if he said he wasn’t excited to see them. They quickly regaled Quackity with stories about everything they had done since he left. Then, they made it their mission to introduce Quackity to as many fairies as possible, making sure to tell all about how the half-fairy could transform into human size. 

It was nice, but overstimulating. 

Soon enough, Quackity broke away from the party. Instead, he sat on a large (relatively) mushroom outside the town square. He munched on a single berry taken from a much larger raspberry which had served as a centerpiece for part of the communal table. 

“How are you holding up?” Phil asked as he fluttered down beside him. 

“It’s a lot.” Quackity replied. 

He didn’t fully know what “it” referred to. The party? The threat of the Federation? His life in general? But it certainly was a lot. 

“Is that why you took nearly a month to visit again?” Phil asked. 

Quackity looked away. 

“Like I said, it’s a lot.”

“We can help.” Phil offered, not for the first time. He had been so kind to Quackity ever since they had met. 

“I don’t know if you can.” Quackity answered honestly. “Last month, I knew exactly who I was, some guy working at a grocery store making eleven bucks an hour. And now? I don’t know. And I can’t figure out why me. Out of everyone, why me?”

Phil thought for a second. “I don’t know, but like it or not, this is what you are now. It’s a lot easier if you accept that. You can’t pretend nothing ever happened, no matter how much you want to…”

“Yeah? Watch me.” Quackity chuckled dryly. 

“I’m serious, Quackity.” Phil looked at him. 

“I am too. I-I’m not meant for this. I’m nobody, I mean, maybe one day I’ll be assistant manager of the BigBuy, and I don’t even know if I really want that.”

“Do you think it will work? Ignoring this?” Phil asked. 

“No.” Quackity admitted. He couldn’t help thinking about how wrong he looked in the mirror. “There’s nowhere I can run, is there?”

“Not from yourself.”

“So what do I do?”

“Well,” Phil said. “I can’t tell you what to do, that’s for you to decide. Life rarely gives you a choice on who you are, but you get to choose how you react.”

Quackity stared up at the stars. What did he want? 

He didn’t want to ignore the fairies completely. He had missed Tubbo and Tommy over the past month. 

When he first immigrated to Essempi, it had been a big change to a whole new way of living. In some ways, this felt the same and he wasn’t sure if he wanted that. But, he couldn’t ignore it either. Especially if Phil was right and this was a part of his heritage. 

“Techno and I talked it over.” Phil continued. “We have an idea, if you want it. The threat of the Federation isn’t going to blow over anytime soon. They’re like roaches, if you see one there’s probably twenty more hiding nearby. But if they don’t recognize you, then you can warn us in advance, like you just did. And, maybe once a week or so, you can come by, give us a report and we can show you a bit more of what life is like as fairies.”

Quackity thought it over. It didn’t necessarily sound bad per se. 

“What would I tell my friends?” He asked, thinking about the concerned looks Missa had given him. 

“Tell them nothing.” Phil replied. “The Federation is dangerous, not just to fairies.”

“Alright,” Quackity breathed in. “I’ll do it.”

————- 

The next morning Quackity stood in front of his locker in BigBuy. He stared at a little bag filled with fairy dust that Phil had given him the night before. It sat innocently in his much larger hand. Of course, the bag looked much bigger last night. But now it was the size of a small jewelry bag. He could scarcely believe the difference. 

“¿Quacks?” Roier called from behind him. 

Quackity quickly put the bag in his locker and shut the door. He was afraid to keep it on his person. Just one touch of the dust inside the bag would make him smaller than a candy bar. 

“¿Qué onda?” He asked as he turned towards Missa and Roier who were also starting their shifts. (What’s up?)

“Aquí nada más, ¿listos?” Missa replied. (Not much here. You ready?)

“Un momento.” Quackity said. (Just a moment.)

From his bag, he pulled out a filled out application for Assistant Manager. He had printed it out last night after the dust wore off. 

Quackity figured if he was brave enough to stand up to the Federation, he could try to be assistant manager. 

Roier and Missa cheered him on as he walked towards Schlatt’s office, maybe a little louder than necessary. Juan leaned against the wall outside Schlatt’s office. He gave Quackity a nasty glare as he walked in. 

The office was small and smelled of coffee, cigarettes, and alcohol. Schlatt sat behind a desk with a nameplate that read ‘General Manager’.

“Put it in the pile.” Schlatt said, not looking up from the poker game on his computer. 

Quackity did as he was told, placing the application in a pile of similar applications. Then, he turned walk out of the office. 

“I didn’t think you’d apply,” Schlatt said as Quackity reached for the doorknob. 

He turned back to Schlatt. 

“Well, I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking and I believe I’m ready for this and-“

“Did I ask for an explanation? Save it for the interview.” Schlatt frowned. “Now get back to the sales floor. I need you to train the new guy.”

Quackity nodded and left. As he walked onto the sales floor, he scanned for anyone unfamiliar in a BigBuy uniform who might be the new guy Schlatt was referring to. 

Finally, Quackity saw him. 

A man stood a few aisles in front of him with the slightly embarrassed look that came from wearing a minimum wage uniform for the first time. 

Quackity stopped. 

The new employee had skin so pale it looked like a ghost’s and hair whiter than snow. Black claws drummed nervously against khaki pants. His name tag read, ‘Cellbit, Member in Training’. 

Quackity took a sharp breath.