"Look, I would've talked to Aphrodite but she was busy," the demon sighs, peering up at Dionysus. Desperation is written all over his face - he wouldn't have come to the wine god unless he deemed it an absolute emergency. And this is /worse/ than an emergency. "Okay... bear with me here, but what do you do when you... /like/ someone... who's totally out of your league?" Yeah, /that's/ putting it mildly. "Someone who'd probably laugh in your face if they found out about it... at best?"
“Oh, that’s adorable. A cretin with a crush.”
“Alright cupcake, I’m in a good mood, I’ll pitch in. First things first, if they’re a god, reallllly feel up your time before saying anything. We’re fickle at best, we’ll break your heart at worst. Best to have a really good idea of where we stand, hmm?
“Next step--don’t sell yourself short. First and last time you’ll be hearing that one from me. Know what’s sexy? Confidence. You know something else you’ll only hear once from me? I’m not exactly Adonis. But check out my bedpost, cupcake: no shortage of tally marks. Con. Fid. Ence.
“Personally, I’d just try screwing up the courage and asking them out. You never know until you ask--and what’s the worst that’ll happen, a no? So you pick up, you move on, you come back here and call me bastard and then I play wingman, get you laid, and merrily you move along. And that’s a promise from me to you.
“That about cover it, sweetie? --Or, what, you want me to put in a good word for you?”
