#fe:tl

2015.07.16 Thursday

Ava: alright i finished the outline!!! ^______^ here it is

Ava: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CKA4ARwXAAAJe9a.jpg

angiè: u sound so cheerful im half expecting a

angiè: WHAF FHE FUCK DID I JUST SAY

Ava: well its not false

angiè: when has that EVER been a good idea

Ava: never ever

Ava: im so tempted though

Ava: but no. no. i cant do this. No

Ava: hold me back

angiè: do it

angiè: i dare u

Ava: nnnnnnnnnnnnn

Ava: NNNNNNNNNNN

angiè: :3c

Ava: COVERS FACE AND GROANS

Ava: DONT ENABLE THIS

Ava: EVERYTHING IS SO PRECARIOUS THE SLIGHTEST TIP WILL HAVE THIS ALL GO TO HECK IM TRYING VERY HARD FOR THAT NOT TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!

angiè: ITS ONLY 2 DRINKS, 2 MAXIMUM ENOUGH TO LOOSEN UP THE ATMOSPHERE NOTHING SERIOUS!!!!! THEY ARE RESPNSAVILE

angiè: REPSONABLE

angiè: REAPONSE

angiè: FUCK

Ava: DJDFJJDJF

Ava: BAD IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

angiè: OK BUT LIKE

angiè: CONTEXT

Ava: context

angiè: context

angiè: are they out and about

angiè: is she offering him some Chardonnay

angiè: is he trying 2 get her to not open the bottle of Chardonnay

angiè: are they wine miming it up

angiè: not mmning but whatever

angiè: WHATEVRR

Ava: there is currently no context, becuase if there were context, i would have to be considering it, and im trying Not to consider it, but i m also considering it

angiè: goodness gracious ur a true martyr

Ava: i suffer so much

Ava: currently they are at the point where they have had instances in which theyve ingested alcohol together with no unfortunate consequences. but sometimes

Ava: Sometimes In Life Things Happen

angiè: do they now

Ava: Sometimes

Ava: i just have to decide if i want things to go south before they get better

angiè: oh boy

angiè: but u gotta do damage control u gotta make sure

angiè: it’s not like Too South

angiè: Antarctica status yfm

Ava: right

Ava: it wont be. but u know

Ava: drama

angiè: it’s gotta be a cruise to argentina

Ava: mmmmmm

Ava: mmmMMMMMMMMMMMm

angiè: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY CONSIDERINF ADDING A CRUISE TO THIS FIC

Ava: nO

angiè: MY METAPHOR ISNT A PLOT DEVICE

Ava: NO!!!!!!!

Ava: theyre in new york city

Ava: and very busy thank u very much no time for cruises

angiè: LAUGHS

Ava: cruisin 4 a bruisin

angiè: of course

Ava: does emeli have parties

Ava: big parties

angiè:  sometimes yes. every once in a while. sponsored by veruscorp with drinks and debuts and drama and all those fun stuff

angiè: sometimes small house parties too but those are special

angiè: highly selective

angiè: big parties are very private y know. so many people ur conversation just drowns out. small parties are a cesspool of gossip and bad decision making

Ava: i could make this a very slow burn

angiè: puts hand on ur shoulder . don’t do this to me (do it)

Ava: the reason i ask in particular is – new years

angiè: fuckkkkkkk

angiè: FUCKKKKKKKKKK

YEAH SON BIG NEW YEARS PARTIES ARE SO REAL. ginormous. everyone who’s anyone is invited and em usually slips out before midnight to see the big show outside and then comes back 2 smooch her boss but like . falls 2 the floor

Ava: im trying to figure out how i can get this to work. this being the scene im thinking about

Ava: maybe i’ll set it to the side and work it out later. mmm. mmmmmM Hecko

Ava: how slow of a burn can this be

Ava: (fic voice)(giggles)anything for you my writer

angiè: KNSNDNDFJ

angiè: GOD

Ava: alright im done physically writing this outline tonight im just too tired and i want to turn the light off but this is the scene i want to have: its a problem because its Quiet and when are they gonna get quiet. Never. anyways.

angiè: they can get quiet with the help

of

not alcohol it has to be those moments on a balcony or on a busy street where u can finally just Shut Up

Ava: highrise apartment with a view of the ball. its… it might be ashers place but i dont know if hes well off enough to afford an apartment as nice as this one; maybe with the promotion it’s not unlikely but it’s sleek. he invited her over and this was before i realized new years parties were a thing so like

anyway he usually just watches the celebration on tv or from his window but this time he thought hey why not. its not really much of a party but theyve got drinks and a good view and they dont have to stand outside in the cold and the crowd

by this point theyve built up their friendship again to something a bit more seemly than what theyd had in their younger years and so the atmosphere isnt so bad. more relaxed than anything. thats alright.

Ava: anyway i just want him 2 kiss her, or almost kiss her, or at least Think about kissing her, and its like. this is new and unfamiliar territory. ok. ok

Ava: champagne white wine bright lights and maybe a snowflake or two. its warm inside

Ava: the tv might be on but the volume is low and it seems far away

Ava: BUT i cant figure out how 2 fit this in there so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

angiè: THANKS OBAMA

angiè: this is why our studio can’t afford ashem

Ava: “how slow burn can this be” this would have to be. at least a year/year and a half in

Ava: At Least

angiè: it would make sense to be a lot later in their. whatever their relationship is

Ava: maybe more

angiè: two or three years

angiè: how many seasons have come and gone where they ring in the New Years wishing they were somewhere else

Ava: (this also factors into the whole Alcohol Disaster Possibility bc these two things….. cannot coexist. i must choose one or the other)

(i think)

angiè: ok a bottle of champagne. will not kill anyone or cause a meltdown of the century if they were to partake in New Years celebration

angiè: in fact u can even drink apple cider

angiè: (emeli voice) i have to drive back

angiè: (asher voice) what if u didn’t have to

angiè: me ; did I seriously

angiè: just type that

Ava: LLDKFKJFDJ

Ava: GGGGGG OK

angiè: 0:/10 in eating a brick

Ava: thanks

Ava: me too

Ava: i hate that im actually thinking about this

Ava: he doesnt even realize hes saying it the words come out too fast

Ava: or maybe he just wasnt thinking (was thinking, wasnt – wasnt saying. he wasnt SAYING that, when did the command go out for his mouth to open and his voice to

angiè: it’s so. fast and sudden she’s not even sure she heard him properly, it wasn’t on the forefront of her mind, or anything of the sort (to be so specific is a little suspicious, and the silence that consumes them after is even more so, when was the last time they had ever been so quiet–) she would have to say no, i wouldn’t want to impose. all grace and verus raised charm even though she’s, thinking about what on earth is going through his head right now (what are his intentions)

Ava: ha ha. ha

Ava: right, of course

Ava: a quick recovery of, well, i could send for a ride for you – you know

angiè: always so generous. it’s fine. really.

but they have this nice bottle of pink champagne you can’t just, let it go to waste like that.

Ava: haha

angiè: it would be tragic.

Ava: terribly so

angiè: just say no kids

angiè: nothing says romance like asher politely accompanying emeli to the lobby floor where her ride is waiting

thank you, and happy New Years. he’s still thinking about kissing her goodnight but she’s got this look in her eyes like she wants to stop but she keeps moving anyway.

angiè: CRISIS AVERTED

Ava: perfect

Ava: he goes back up to his apartment and lays down on the couch and stares at the ceiling while kicking himself mentally

Ava: (he winds up falling asleep there and during the course of the night he slips off and hits the ground hard lmfao. go to bed)

angiè: dumb asher go to sleep in ur room. it’s not that far. if it had been necessary you could carry someone there . jus sayin

Ava: asher invites emeli over for new years and when she gets there and its just them two shes like “asher dont tell me you dont have any friends!” and hes just like EXVUS EME,

angiè: little emeli things

angiè: absolutely savage

Ava: well . its not like. shes Entirely wrong (u cant really call the pizza guy who delivers to ur job ur friend even if hes actually spoken to u a few times – an honor, seemingly, since no one else claims to have ever heard him speak)

Ava: all his friends are very far away. would u have rather hung out with my coworkers. THATD be fun, i assure u

Ava: accountants really know how to party

angiè: i can’t believe kayokin is asher’s pizza delivery dude they’re the coolest pizza dude ever

ohhhhh my god is asher an accountant and or in that area of business im howling

angiè: she definitely has her options open as to who she spends new years with maybe she just felt bad for him. wouldn’t that be sweet.

Ava: hes moved by her generocity

Ava: he works for a financial consulting firm. very exciting stuff

angiè: how thrilling

angiè: an intrinsic link between funding and designer

Ava: there it is

angiè: (emeli voice) ive met ur coworkers and they’re not as fun to tease as you, sooooo.

Ava: a dubious honor

angiè: they also, put up at least twenty different road blocks on the subject of approving loans despite her history with the ceo it really is a mess

angiè: ur the only one who has my back reyes

Ava: u can count on me

Ava: he did, after all, get her a discount on service fees by inviting her 2 doubles tennis with his boss. hed felt weird about it but theyd won so alls well that ends well right. at least it wasnt getting cut from his pay

angiè: my my

angiè: the sneaky helpful deals

angiè: beat ur boss for networking opportunities

Ava: welcome to the real world

angiè: it’s all fun and games until u realize how much effort ur putting into something only for it to fall thru at the very end

Ava: ;( dont be so pessimistic, now. all the deals will go through, you’ll build your complex, it’ll open to press releases and media coverage, and you’ll be a star, or something like it

angiè: thanks a bunch, your optimism and naïveté is absolutely endearing. deadpan, but she’s very. touched by the sentiment. my complex will usher in a new age of architecture, it’s really going to be incredible.

a pause.

are you saying im not already a star? tch.

Ava: a snort. my apologies. i didnt mean to imply you arent already a household name

angiè: she smiles and rolls her eyes before it can look too genuine, well i’ll be damned if my name isn’t falling off everybody’s lips by the end of this.

Ava: her name could b fallin off His lips by the end of this night if u know what im sayin (eyebrows)

Ava: bye im just kidding

angiè: ohhhhh my god

Ava: it is too soon. its been Several years but it is still too soon

Ava: not yet

angiè: it’s gonna be like 294 years into the future and they’ll just be able to brush their hands over each other’s palms

Ava: real

Ava: moving like glaciers

Ava: christmas ball one year he accompanies her and winds up bowing above her hand and kissing her knuckles but can only do it under the protection of careful levity. a half-joke.

angiè: it’s the first ball she doesn’t wear the leather gloves that seem to be an extension of her hand so it’s honestly the most. surreal thing. only way to respond is with a smile and a laugh, oh you. always so.

so.

Ava: ha ha

angiè: you’re already so much shorter than me why bother putting yourself at a lower level. half joke, mostly an attempt at a recovery.

Ava: he rolls his eyes and gets up. right, of course

Ava: perhaps next time i should wear heels so the disparity isn’t quite so great

angiè: whatever makes you feel better about this terrible calamity that seems to have plagued you.

angiè: i almost had an aneurysm because this would be the kind of situation she would call him lover boy except . u know

Ava: ha ha

angiè: new nicknames

Ava: omg

Ava: i guess i’ll just send u the other pages too its not like u dont basically know. the important bits

angiè: heh

Ava: im bad at keeping these things secret

angiè: un petit peu

Ava: - Randall’s gone off and pursued his dreams of becoming a garage rock sensation. He is fairly successful

- Asher and Randall had dated in college; Randall dropped out to form his band. Asher stayed in school. They were happy.

- Randall’s success begins to grow. He puts on local venues, tours within a couple towns. Asher gets an internship, then a job. It’s steady.

- They both get busier and busier. Asher’s got long days at the office. Randall’s got constant practice. Randall and Thistle used to practice and Randall and Asher’s place but it started to encroach on their peace; Randall and Thistle move practices to Thistle’s. He has a soundproof basement.

- They are both very busy.

- Randall and Thistle start to actually tour. Record label and everything. Asher is very happy for them. But naturally, they spend less and less time together.

- “Come with me.”

“I can’t.”

- They’re LDR for a while. Skype calls at 3 am and voicemails filled with I love yous and I miss yous and Call me backs.

- “Sorry I haven’t been able to call, things have just been so hectic—“

“No, it’s okay. I get it.”

“Ash…”

“It’s fine.”

- It’s not fine.

- Their breakup is a foregone conclusion, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

- Emeli, meanwhile, has been studying architecture abroad in Italy and France. She comes home (“comes home”) and sets up a practice in the city.

- Asher gets a promotion. A relocation. NYC here he comes.

- Randall is an underground hit in California. Officially, they’re basd in DC now, but there doesn’t seem to be a pressing need to return to the east coast.

- Asher’s company is in garge of finances for Emeli’s next big project perhaps? Financial consulting firm. He’s even assigned to work with the client. :) lovely

- “Castille.”

“Reyes.”

A warm reunion.

(At least she didn’t call him “lover-boy.”)

- They catch up over coffee. It’s not exactly corporate procedure, but they go over numbers between stories of travel and things-you’ve-missed, and he invites her to hang out again sometime. “For old time’s sake.”

“I’ll think about it, lover boy.”

Despite himself, he smiles.

- She calls him again the next week.

- They go on excursions disguised as consultations. Technically, none of this has to be done in person at all. But it provides an easy fall-back, a buffer, in case. In case something.

(“Can’t you do anything without bringing it back to work?”

“No.”

“You haven’t changed at all.”)

- He invites her to play tennis with his boss.

It’s weird. He thinks it’s weird. He’s trying not to hold his breath as the phone rings, and again after he’s asked the question. She’s quiet for a while.

“Do I get a discount if we win?”

- Emeli Castille gets her discount.

- They go to coffeeshops, museums, and bars. Oh, do they go to bars. Asher insists less and less on discussing figures and they fall back into something that isn’t quite the camaraderie they shared in school, but something like it.

They take turns paying for the cab rides home, anyway.

Ava: hopefully my handwriting is legible

angiè: i just said

angiè: im burning out loud in a cafeteria

angiè: im just

angiè: at least she didn’t call him lover boy.

angiè: Heck , Off

angiè: randall is an actual star

Ava: hes livin it up

angiè: household name. haha man how can u even compete with an opening act like that :-)

Ava: ddhhdh

Ava: i tried writing this straight and got a little bit but idk if it can fit into

Ava: i dont know if i want it in here but like it eventually ahs to be addressed. probably

Ava: anyway it starts with

Ava: “so,” she says with a forced nonchalance that is so very, very familiar, “how’s randy?”

she’s leaning against the armrest of his couch

Ava: http://gyazo.com/5861f41b2dccf436ab7a991b434492c8

angiè: before, you sent the message i was typing something out similar. year 2, springtime cafe, over scone and teas. so, elbows digging into the nice vinyl tabletop, chin resting on linked hands. do you miss him.

(do you forgive him for abandoning you?, she might as well say what she means.)

it was mutual.

But then I Died.

angiè: it’s not fair of her to ask, she knows this. they’re all friends, they should all be able to keep in touch. but you know. busy, busy. too busy to open up the texting application and jot a hey; how are you doing, hit send in between meetings and paperwork. that’s just too much sometimes when the meanings carry so much more weight.

hey, hey, by the way randy–i think, we’re making a terrible mistake.

angiè: it feels nice.

angiè: it’s not too bad, it could be worse.

Ava: it could always be worse

angiè: haha it’s year 2.5, and asher will ask off handedly, it’s more of a jab, why are you always hanging around. doesn’t the reverent lady castille have more friends. it’s a call back. and she’s just like, oh, about that. i have a date, next week. and it’s like. what.

(it doesn’t go very far, anyway, but it never. comes to him that they could be seeing other people, that’s a thing. that happens.)

Ava: its the pizza guy (it s not. the pizza guy

angiè: LAUGHS

Ava: it might be the pizza guy

angiè: roll up in the pizza guy’s cool motorbike

Ava: im laughing

angiè: they’ve got a nice voice

Ava: thye also know some Cool Hip Underground music spots

Ava: tje best in the ciy

Ava: city

angiè: how can asher compete with that kind of effortless swag

Ava: he cant

Ava: despair

angiè: they probably go dancing too. and they’re red and blue. why is this making him so analytical about everything @ him: chill

angiè: (207 years later) oh so that’s why that bothered me

Ava: they look good together. & hes closer 2 her height anyway

angiè: they don’t have to wear heels to even be on the same playing field. and she looks happy. smiles and laughs a lot. jfc.

angiè: GLACIERS

angiè: they listen 2 music together. the stupid ear bud sharing

angiè: asher is going to mcfreaking lose it and it’s like WH y

Ava: he suffers so much

angiè: im just laughing so grossly rn im deadass hell

kayokin has 2 move to a different city during year 3 and it is so tragic. just kidding it’s a chill split they had fun thanks for the good times good luck on ur future stuff and it’s like. great. now my usual pizza delivery guy is gone too. thanks obama

how serious is this irrelevant side plot idk but im crying

Ava: fav tho

angiè: i love it

angiè: jjsjjsjsjs I just got rly . doki over emkayo wtf wrong au

angiè: wrong fic wrong everything

Ava: hahaha

Ava: whoops

angiè: come back later

Ava: sets this aside

angiè: do they even play guitar. why am i imaging them w a guitar em’s leaning against his shoulder and she’s pointing out stuff on the sheet music and they’re just like shhh listen plucks a melody

they had good shit goin on nice one

Ava: ok but they know the hidden corners of the city while em is more on the upper end its kind of like a titanic effect where kayo mimics jack’s “come dance with me”

angiè: FUCK lol

angiè: she’ll follow them wherever, hand out stretched and she’ll take it and it’s down the rabbit hole. step in time and maybe a twirl too

angiè: fluidity

Ava: flippys a pizza delivery guy but on the weekends hes a dj

angiè: the realization that emeli’s favorite club DJ is also asher’s favorite delivery guy

angiè: some hannah montana shit

Ava: asher MOPEs. he mopes. he doesnt know why hes moping and he insists that he isnt but he is

angiè: HE MOPES

angiè: SO EMO .

Ava: crawling in my skin

Ava: these wounds they will not heal

Ava: walkin around lookin like a kicked puppy

Ava: whats ur damage

angiè: coworkers are shocked, confused

angiè: unsure of how to handle

Ava: handle what. im fine. what are u talking about

angiè: right. of course

Ava: >:(

angiè: our mistake,

(he responded way 2 quickly usually he gives u that look before going into the crisp monotone)

anyways see u later asher lmfao

angiè: mopey mope

Ava: if he knew why this were happening hed try 2 Stop but hes a frickign idiot so theres nothing 2 be done except feel cranky for seemingly no reason

angiè: do yoga or something go to the gym and be productively petulant

Ava: he swims 700 more laps than he usually does

angiè: just in time for the beach episode

Ava: theyre not going on a cruise But

angiè: i mean, the hamptons are right There. where do new yorkers go to the beach

Ava: long island

Ava: i always picture long island cloudy for some reason even though logically speaking that cant be the case 100% of the time

angiè: i always picture it cloudy

angiè: isn’t there an amusement park there

angiè: or is that coney

Ava: thats coney

angiè: which i also picture as very overcast except with lights

Ava: yeah

Ava: why is this a universal phenomenon

angiè: bc the sun doesn’t exist on the east coast

Ava: maybe

Ava: they could also go 2 the jersey shore but like why would u do that

angiè: 2b Orange

Ava: ive been there like. once. the water is cold

angiè: is there anything Atlantic Ocean water that is warm aside from Florida tho

Ava: idk maybe georgia

Ava: georgia is hot

angiè: they go to Georgia for the peaches

Ava: nice

Ava: get lost trying to find peachtree street because as it turns out there are approximately 700,000 peachtree streets in georgia

Ava: hit up atlanta 4 that night life tho

angiè: which peach street. we have been on at least seven today

angiè: CLUBBBBBING

angiè: em walks out in a mini dress and a pair of killer heels and asher’s just like nice outfit. don’t die

angiè: this is why she had a DJ boyfriend

angiè: thanks for nothing asher.

angiè: BUT ITS LIKE he would probably stick to the sidelines if anything or they would party hop

angiè: can’t stop won’t stop

Ava: livin life in the fast lane

angiè: at least for a little while

Ava: opts out one night 2 read his Novels in the hotel room like a loser

Ava: strangely unsatisfying all things considered

angiè: Tragic

angiè: fumbling thru the pages kind of restless and just. in a funk. how to relieve the pressure.

Ava: a pushup per paragraph

angiè: gets a txt half way thru the night from em like did u join a knitting club or smthn

Ava: shoots back a yes, its very fulfilling

Ava: made you a nice scarf for when you get back

Ava: tries not to stare at his phone waiting for a response. picks his book back up but he cant concentrate on the words

angiè: thank u very much ill b sure 2 wear it when it’s not 294 degrees outside

angiè: her phone ends up somewhere else for the rest of the night so whatever he shoots back is lost on her until she finds her phone at coat check lmfao

angiè: fun times at real life dot com

Ava: a small asher in the corner of his consciousness whining Pay Attention 2 Me

angiè: she’s having a good time asher who when she’s got some girl up against the wall and she’s like maybe i should find my phone at one point in time or, something but the lights are bright and her heads all blurry and at one point she’s leaning against some guy and he’s like u ok and she’s like haha, no, help me find my phone.

when she does it’s a lot better but it’s also, like 3 in the morning lmfao

angiè: she calls him and she’s slurring just a little bit but it’s really most bc of dehydration and how hot it is; wanna. come pick me up or something.

Ava: where are you

Ava: thsts it. where are you. you alright?

Ava: already making his way down

angiè: and she’s just leaning up against a palm tree, nah, i’m fine, i’m fine. just wanna. get home.

Ava: when he pulls up to the spot n gets out, he announces “personal chauffeur for emeli castille.” opens her door for her n everything

Ava: also may or may not insist on going to mcdonalds for french fries. is mcdonalds even open at this hour. french fries would be good right about now

angiè: aahhdhh

yes. absolutely. she’s just like take me where ever, she’s taking off her heels and throwing her hair in a ponytail. i want at least 83 chicken nuggets

Ava: 83 chicken nuggets comin up

angiè: she probably passes out before they even get there lmfao

Ava: smh

angiè: wakes up when she smells French fry

Ava: shes lucky she did otherwise he wouldve laid claim to her nuggets

Ava: such is the cold, brutal reality of life

angiè: ahaha of course. he’d have to pry it out of her dying hands

Ava: a challenge he is glad he does not have 2 take on

Ava: 83 whole chicken nuggets would be quite the struggle

angiè: honestly though. they get the 100 chicken nuggets and Die it’s great

Ava: the chicken nugget hangover is worse than any actual hangover they mightve experienced

angiè: she’s whining the entire night lmfao curled up on her side of the room

angiè: asheeeeeeer whyyyyyyy

Ava: the foolishness and arrogance of man

angiè: shut up and let me die

Ava: dont die on me now, castille. we still got so much to do

Ava: (“oh yeah like what” “well i still havent asked you out on a proper date yet”)

Ava: (jk :o) )

angiè: breaks hand

Ava: a romantic confession over chicken nugget stomachaches

angiè: this is what we’ve become

angiè: so, do you like me or like me like me considering im making the most elegant complaining noises right now

Ava: “what would u prefer i say”

Ava: aside from, ur right, they are very elegant complaining noises. quite refined

angiè: thanks. ur the best

angiè: ill pretend this is all a post chicken mc nuggets hangover and leave it be

Ava: a pause

Ava: and a quiet “alright”

Ava: its a bit more subdued than can comfortably be passed off as a light response

angiè: em does her best to keep her tone jovial and light but she keeps slurring a little and beautifully falls to her side. you’re so pretty, ash. haha. she’s got a stupid smile because this is comfortable and it’s warm and georgia sucks but this room is kind.

2015.07.17 Friday

Ava: asher: (quietly suffers)

Ava: maybe its time for u to get to bed

Ava: yr not makin anymore sense

angiè: mmmmmmmmmm she’s pouting and she gets her dress stuck over her shoulders and she’s a godawful mess don’t ever. why did. who even let them room together why was this a thing that was allowed tho im dying squirtle let them live

angiè: just throw a blanket over her kid you’re gonna regret going along with whatever she says

Ava: Probably

Ava: “im waking you bright and early tomorrow so you better get some sleep”

Ava: dont you know we got an itinerary to stick to

angiè: mmmmmmhmmmmm

angiè: yeah . yeah

Ava: yeah lets see you be so accommodating in (checks clock) four hours

angiè: she feels deaths sweet embrace thinking about being up–

angiè: why were u even. awake

angiè: mr 8 hours of sleep

Ava: he very pointedly does not look at her

angiè: she’s got that grin but now she’s in the safety of her blankets. heh . hehehehe

Ava: i was reading. it was very engaging.

angiè: mgmenhehehe yeah. im….sure

angiè: very. super. suuuuup.

Ava: yeah. super

angiè: sooper

angiè: can’t even keep her eyes open anymore rip castille

angiè: night night

Ava: night night emeli

Ava: i ws jst “u want me 2 sing u a bedtime story” thats not HOw that works

angiè: SNORTS

angiè: totally

angiè: sing a fucking bed time story

Ava: its too early in the morning 2 be witty. let him live

angiè: he’s tired and flustered and she’s already asleep there’s no reason to be particular

Ava: safe……….4 now

angiè: 4 now

angiè: i hate this au

angiè: i love it

Ava: this….. is a strong au

angiè: it hurts

Ava: it should

angiè: it hurts because this is au and she won’t get to wake up with that stupid smile and look to her side and see him there all dumb and peaceful when he’s asleep

Ava: hrugles

angiè: falls to the floor

Ava: canon is subjective anyway

angiè: never gets back up i have a death can song for this

angiè: can

angiè: CAB

angiè: actually i have a couple

angiè: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/deathcabforcutie/champagnefromapapercup.html

angiè: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/deathcabforcutie/lightness.html

angiè: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/deathcabforcutie/brothersonahotelbed.html

angiè: kick my sad ass

angiè: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/deathcabforcutie/youvehauntedmeallmylife.html

angiè: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/deathcabforcutie/youcandobetterthanme.html

angiè: cause u can do better than me

angiè: but i can’t do better than u

angiè: i don’t even care the context but a very vivid image of emeli sleeping on a couch with her hand draped over the seat it almost touches the floor and asher almost linking their hands together lmfao kill

angiè: he accidentally brushes his fingertips against her palm and she reaches out–

Ava: clenches fist

Ava: they can get there

Ava: they can make it

angiè: changing of the seasons

Ava: what season is it . i want it to be fall but then thats close to winter again

angiè: it’s summer right now in georgia i think this spiraled out of

angiè: beach episode

angiè: they never went to the beach

Ava: oops

Ava: sweater weather cuts off in the bg

angiè: his extra 600 laps for nothing

Ava: tragic

angiè: they’ll go to the beach in fashionable hooded jackets and scarves

Ava: its too cold for the beach

Ava: sand and scarves do not mix

angiè: pls

angiè: aesthetic

Ava: very much do not work

Ava: they might be able to go to the boardwalk. maybe.

angiè: it’s all grey and foggy

angiè: the pier is pretty

Ava: boardwalk games in an assortment of colored lights

Ava: they get cotton candy and candied apples

angiè: they’re bad for health, yknow

angiè: eats them anyway, looks at the Ferris wheel forlornly

Ava: stop lookin so sad. here i’ll win u a prize

angiè: r u drawling asher

she makes him win her a stuffed penguin anyway

Ava: so what if he is. hes from texas aint he

Ava: he starts keeping a prize count

angiè: southerners tainting my aesthetic, honestly. (then, where are you supposedly from, castille?) (it’s a secret.)

all they do is win win win

Ava:  cleanin out these stands

Ava: FUNNEL CAKES!!!!!!!! rip healthy eating or any kinda diets they may be on this is a day of indulgence

Ava: funnel cake and hot dogs and popcorn but most importantlu funnel cake

angiè: RIP

emeli pales. this has at least 394738 calories

angiè: “we’ll split one, then.”

Ava: funnel caaaaaaaaake

angiè: the Devils food

Ava: he can afford this. he works out a lot

Ava: one day aint gonna mess him up that bad

angiè: em sighs and swipes her card ok. fine, she’ll relent as long as she can have the strawberries.

Ava: (she gets powdered sugar on her cheek and he (doesnt) kiss it clean HAHAHAHAHA)

Ava: hold still for a second – his thumbs on her cheek for a fraction of a second – sorry

angiè: assess the situation, they’re dressed to the nines in pressed coats and dark jeans and she’s wearing her favorite pair of ankle boots and her favorite gloves and her hair is impeccable and asher always looks composed, they’re in the middle of a sprawling pier the seagulls are loud and noises and the kids are screaming out names and she can’t seem to focus on anything except the way his thumb felt on her cheek, despite how transient the sensation was.

it’s serendipitous.

“it’s fine. thanks.” she wipes the rest away and pops another fruit into her mouth, stains her lips red with syrup.

it’s fine. it’s ok. (what are they.) (she won’t ask, not yet, maybe not ever.)

she’s having fun. her huge penguin is too. his name is going to be pen pen.

Ava: there are just so many opportunities that will possibly pass by. in particular the ferris wheel

Ava: this is a complicated picture http://gyazo.com/5bacee325fa8a2efb05ce3bfc8f3dc78

Ava: maybe next year they can ride the ferris wheel together :^)

angiè: maybe ! m a y b e

angiè: oh my god FUCJ me up their first kiss (the first one that counts and wasn’t part of their adolescent pissing contest) isn’t even on the top of the Ferris wheel

angiè: it’s on the stupid pier with the stupid search light and every time it goes around and around she’s thinking g od get me off this wild ride

angiè: off this wild ride

year 4 or something they never go to this stupid Boardwalk when it’s not cloudy as shit

Ava: the masters of poor planning

angiè: looking right at each other and she’s making a big show looking behind him out into the sea or smthn and he’s just like. listen,

poor planning committee of their own lives

Ava: listen.

its been 4 years. approaching this even more cautiously than previously thought imaginable, its time 2 bite the bullet. too many dropped hints and skirting around and outright inquiries disguised as other things

angiè: it’s been four years.

in any other scenario they would’ve been able to brush it off and hide vague attentions with a lifted hand and a polite smile but they’re out here in the middle of cold and fog and, in more ways than one, at the end of the line. isn’t this easier? isn’t this kind? she wants to insist there doesn’t need to be anything else when they already function so well but if that was really the case–why were they still here.

four years, going on five.

Ava: thats a mighty long time, without any sort of resolution. and at this point thers got to be, one way or the other. they can keep going like this, if thats what she wants. thats fine. but you gotta say so.

Ava: you dont have to love me but just tell me so

angiè: it’s always been you, you know. but then for a long time, it wasn’t.

she, to the left and then back, and clasps her hands together. and then here you were again occupying every corner of my life like you owned it.

i thought i was just your rebound, to be honest. but then, it became obvious i wasn’t. and there was something more have you always been so easy to read. she smiles and it reaches her eyes and it’s just a push and pull and a please don’t cry don’t let yourself cry your makeup is impeccable.

ash, do you like me. like me, love me. is that what this is.

angiè: what a roundabout way to confess.

Ava: haha

Ava: well

Ava: “yeah. i do. like you, love you. thats is exactly what this is.”

no witticisms, but the trace of a smile. it seems a little sad.

Ava: he wants to take her hand

Ava: its a small gesture but one hes been barred from, more or less. itd be a crossing over

angiè: i never expected something so genuine from you.

she wipes her cheek and that’s when she realizes her makeup is all over the place that’s ridiculous she’s only shed one–oh. why. can’t she stop crying.

stupid. we’re so old this isn’t the time for tears like a child.

“i love you, too.”

is quiet and resolute and has never quite left her lips like they do now. love. i am in love with you.

angiè: her lips twitch into something like a smile and it’s like looking back in time and she’s got that smile from ear to ear, eyes closed still tearing up, i’m in love with you, stupid.

Ava: and he smiles too, really smiles, and takes both her hands in his

Ava: just to be clear. im in love with you too.

Ava: and i have been for a long time

angiè: aren’t i lucky.

Ava: hey, thats my line

angiè: you’re right, you’re right. that’s definitely your line, ehehe.

Ava: now kiss

angiè: she puts his hand on her face and he Goes for it

Ava: yell heah

angiè: hey if i wake up, will this all have been a dream.

angiè: because, even it is. i’m glad for it.

Ava: walking back from the pier hand in hand

Ava: 􀸂􀇗alcohol􏿿 post kayo pre boardwalk possibly?? post georgia. everythings been so careful and they think theyve ruined it

angiè: here we are, back at it again fuckin with that stella rosa

angiè: post georgia too oh man after that mess

it’s. what. autumn. October. it’s a Halloween party some exec is hosting why do we keep going to shitty parties but that’s the life of an aspiring architect she has to go and she’s like. hey, come with me. i need a plus one.

angiè: dress up or something, just. this is very important to me.

Ava: dress up or dress up

angiè: costume, dumbass. she rolls her eyes. twenty something year olds are so. ugh. she’s annoyed for the most part lmfao like in what universe.

Ava: would it be cheating to just come as james bond

angiè: probably not. haha. nice.

angiè: always so boring at least slick your hair back, aight.

Ava: sure, sure

angiè: imagine his surprise when she walks into the party dressed like a succubus

Ava: oh my god

Ava: “you know my other consideration was edward cullen.”

angiè: “don’t you dare say another word. this dress is riding up. do you know how hard it is to deal with these shoes.”

“then why–”

“you need to know how to play the game right.”

Ava: he raises his eyebrows at that but says nothing

angiè: and like that, the scowl is gone and she’s smiling again. come on, 007.

Ava: offers his arm and away they go

Ava: immediately grabs a champagne flute because hey hes got to look the part doesnt he

angiè: of course. of course, get another one for me. she’s going to need it to get through the night, anyway. casually sipping out of cut crystal and making conversation with superiors, leaning one way or the other, smiling when necessary. promises of coffee the next day, over paperwork, yes, yes, i’d love to.

Ava: (when shes not on his arm, his hand is at the small of her back. he says its to help with her dress problem. keeping it in place. you know.

they turn quite a few heads.)

angiè: the full back tattoo

angiè: that exists underneath this very tight dress but he’ll only catch bits and pieces of it and i FORGOT THE BACK TATTOO IM ABOUT TO DIE.

she leans on him a lot and it’s not fair, at all.

Ava: hoo hoo, hoo hoo

Ava: down his glass every time it happens

angiè: THIRS TY ASS IM HOWLING

angiè: it’s like, two, and the party is finally dying down. they win best dressed

angiè: but like unrelated as hell im losing my shit over asher walking in on em and kayo they’re not even doing anything. like, she’s got her head on his lap and she’s doing work while they play with her hair and ashers like eXCUSE ME. casually flees.

Ava: ffrickign wasted

angiè: little things

angiè: that fck u up

angiè: my favorite past time is making asher suffer

Ava: same

angiè: anyways. they call for a ride home and he has to help her get into the car she’s carrying her heels and her dress is around her hips she’s wearing fishnets and it’s just like. this is fine. this is ok. yes.

then she turns around and she’s like wanna see my tats

warning bells sirens mayday mayday

Ava: FFDFDDD

angiè: man down

Ava: his mind is shouting NO but his mouth says yes and he immediately wants to punch himself

angiè: she’s just got the cat grin half lucid half drunk and kind of just grabs his hand, puts it where it’s been all night.

unzip me. just, just. a little.  she lets go of his hand there because twisting ur arm like that hurts

angiè: there’s ur drama. is he gonna

Ava: just a little.

angiè: just enough to get a better look, she hums.

their driver is like please god no

Ava: LMAO

angiè: i can’t even look at this screen right now I’m lauhiifnf so har d

Ava: goddddddddd

Ava: (just enough. swipes her hair out of the way and unzips slowly, until some of the lines peek out from behind the fabric. he traces a glyph with his finger, and draws back.

just enough)

angiè: god, she’s shivering under his touch and he’s desperately hoping it’s just because of the sudden lack of fabric.

(there’s more, y'know, just, go down a little more. little bit, it’d be a shame.)

(tilts her head back, just to see if she could catch his expression.)

angiè: the worst

Ava: THE worst. his look is very intent and the alarm bells are still going off but theyre distant, fuzzy – he continues unzipping like hes unpacking glass and as more of her back is exposed the more hes sure those bells are just the sound of the blood in his ears

angiè: she’s got the beginning and the end of the universe etched out on her back, an incredible summoning circle with ancient script and runes, silver and gold against dark skin and every time his hand just so much as hovers over, she arches forward and hisses. there’s not much to deal with, twisting around and throwing her legs up on the seat, facing him now, pulling on his lapels. that’s all easy. fluid, second nature. pulls him down close enough to maim, eyes cloudy and lidded. if she moves just like that, she would be straddling his hips and honestly, all she’s thinking about is how warm he is, he’s burning and she wouldn’t mind being pressed up against that.

angiè: eyes close, and she’s going to kiss him–

the driver announces their arrival and it’s so. far away. someone’s talking.

Ava: BBBBBBBByE

angiè: get the fuck outta my car yall ain’t getting 5 stars when i review

Ava: GHGGGGGHGH

angiè: hands at her back desperately working to fix the damage he’s wrought and she’s pressed up against his chest chin on his shoulder, lips close to his ear, hey, be gentle. this dress was worth a fortune. (he doesn’t get why it’s a scrap of leather that doesn’t do its job–)

Ava: LAUGHS

Ava: god

angiè: fucking shit i die

angiè: deposits her on his bed he’ll take the couch

angiè: she’s drunk but she won’t be tomorrow

angiè: and would be

angiè: Livid, if she woke up on a couch lmfao

Ava: LOL

Ava: he needs a very long cold shower

angiè: wasteD

Ava: he die

angiè: he’ll get to die again in the morning when emeli “cool as a cucumber” castille screams bloody murder it’s all good

Ava: falls directly off the couch

Ava: rude awakening

angiè: just a little

angiè: she’s icy when he makes the dangerous journey to his own room lmfao

first thing out of her mouth WE DIDNT SLEEP TOGETHER RIGHT.

Ava: NO…….. no

Ava: he says, despite having forgotten 2 put on a shirt

angiè: oops

Ava: nothing happened.

angiè: oh. oh.

angiè: (thank god.) she finally breathes and fixes her elegant blanket dress.

angiè: grimaces.

angiè: have a shirt i can borrow, haha.

Ava: sure thing

Ava: any preferences? i know youre sensitive about style

Ava: he is scowling. just a little bit

angiè: hilarious.

angiè: she’s avoiding his eyes. twirls a strand of hair. whatever is fine.

angiè: pause.

angiè: god, sorry. i must’ve been all fucked up if i’m here.

Ava: he rummages through his drawer before tossing her a sweatshirt

Ava: no need to apologize. though i cant say i wouldnt have preferred a quieter good morning.

angiè: i’m a particular brand of unbearable.

angiè: she knows exactly what happened last night. shrugs on the sweat shirt and fixes her dress, suddenly a skirt underneath the new addition. ties her hair back.

angiè: it was just, a little disorientating.

Ava: right. understandably so.

angiè: of course. thank you, for dealing. very appreciated.

i knew i could count on you.

(laying it on a bit thick? not as much as she was laying on him last ni–)

Ava: his “it was no problem” is a little stiff but . there are a number of reasons as to why that could be

angiè: heh.

she falls back and whines.

your bed needs a new mattress, by the by. how do you deal.

(she’s not thinking about how nice it would be if she could help him break in a new one, whatever he was doing to her back comes back in waves and jesus, christ. just pals being pals, friends being friends–)

Ava: fhdggdhf

angiè: they hecked up

Ava: real bad

Ava: (grabs clothes for himself and makes to leave. “nice tattoo, by the way.” shuts the door with his foot on the way out.)

angiè: SCREAMS

angiè: emeli opens her mouth

angiè: closes it

angiè: abort mission, feet on the floor, about to run–run where?? out the door, after him? was that really the best course of action here? honestly! fuck? fuck! shit. oh there she goes, hand on the door knob, out into the hallway.

listen,

angiè: it would mean more, if he  was actually there but you know.

angiè: not everything is scripted.

Ava: lol

angiè: leans up against a door frame, wrings her hands out like that’s going to make things better.

angiè: can. we talk.

angiè: it doesn’t have to be, now. just.

angiè: drags hands down face.

at some point soon.

Ava: talk. about what

Ava: (talk about the way your breath felt against my neck and the warmth of your skin beneath my fingers and how thats an experience id very much like to repeat in the near future)

angiè: you know. about. my cool tattoo.

(and how i very much wouldn’t mind you worshiping the very ground i stand on, or at the very least, working on your ripping off dresses off my body skills, together. you know. friendly stuff.)

ah, never mind. forget it.

(as if they could.)

i’ll see myself out, we have a meeting on thursday. see you then.

Ava: right. see you

Ava: a pause. do you need a ride?

angiè: it’s fine. i’ll be fine.

angiè: smiles and picks up her shoes at the door.

Ava: bye bye

angiè: bye bye

angiè: haha

Ava: have fun tryna get thru ur workday with that on yr mind ha ha

2015.07.18 Saturday

angiè: (casually wakes up from a nap) nice

they need to talk this through because in every timeline where they have sex (and they don’t even in this one lmfao) it ends up with Bad Shit, OP

they gotta Change something to get to the end goal

Ava: good mornig

Ava: tru

Ava: its like that one movie

angiè: which one omg

Ava: a lot of them

angiè: amazing

Ava: ikr

Ava: nah i saw one recently about time traveling and butterfly effects so i guess that one but like. that is also a lot of movies

Ava: the one i was thinking of (the last one i saw) was about a group of Teens

Ava: the teens were having Fun but then main boy flubbed flirting with main girl so he went back to fix it except it ruined basically the whole world and he kept going back and things kept getting worse

Ava: it was a uh. one of those where everything is filmed with what appears to be a handheld camera

Ava: the kid would Not give up his relationship and wound up . getting to the point where he had to ex out his own existence, kind of

Ava: spoilers

angiè: yikes

Ava: yikes indeed

angiè: but man. determination 2 bring happiness

Ava: ashem time traveling au where they cant salvage their relationship bc (word of choice) 2 bomb

angiè: SNORTJGNF

Ava: ashem is really just a vehicle to promote abstinence

Ava: the truth revealed

angiè: IM DYING

angiè: practice safe and like, NOT DRUNK sex children

Ava: snorts

Ava: eyes wide open

angiè: what

Ava: go into it with ur eyes wide open. aware. and cognizant of ur decisions

-

Ava: wanna hear the story of how asher and randall break up

Ava: its hand written so it might be a bit hard 2 read idk

rv: is this part of the ashem happy end

Ava: yes

rv: njilmk

btkjnio

rv:ahhhhhhhhh

rv:thays so. natural

rv:gradual but painful

Ava: :^)

rv: writes a lot of songs about it

rv: haha i keep thinking of randall as the one to outright say “ i think we should break up”

rv: he is like holding back tears

rv: its his first visit home in a long time and something he was thinking all thr way back on the plane home

rv: its the right thing to do but its breaking him

rv: when he sees asher is person he almost loses all his resolve right there.  he loves him so much.

rv: but sometimes thats why u need to let them go

Ava: frifck

Ava: they were so happy

rv:(not really)

rv:(only when actually in the same room)

Ava: im making an awful noise

rv: when theyd see eachother again after all that distance thered be this feeling of Its Worth It Anyways at the reunion

rv: that feeling just dwindled a little over time

rv: (is it worth it if hes just going to leave again so soon)

Ava: ur killing me here

rv: you brought this on yourself

Ava: i know but

Ava: i know. i know

rv: STILL PROBABLY LIKES HIM. SO MUCH.

rv: just you know throws it on the back burner

rv: itll be fine

rv: (and it is)

Ava: it has to be

rv: they had a good run. theres nothing to regret

Ava: these things happen. thats life

rv: its not like theyre any less important to eachother now

rv: gggggh after theyve finished like talking about it and concluding this is the best course of action randall like. sniffles a d wipes off his tears with the back of his hand and hes like ALRIGHT! !!!!!

rv: i dont want to end this on a sad point

rv: lets go on one last date

rv: anywhere you want anything you want just say it

rv: a proper goodbye

Ava: somethin nice to remember it by

rv: breakup sex haha

Ava: LAUGHS

Ava: goin out with a bang haha ;)

rv: ;) ;) ;)

rv: he uses that exact pun

Ava: LMFao

Ava: nice

rv: asher laughs because its so . absurd of a thing to saym its so dumb. hes so dumb. randalls just looking at him fondly still like aw shit. I’m going to miss seeing that

Ava: im going to die

rv: sometimes it just isnt meant to be

Ava: im so sad

rv: you and me apart strikes me as inherently wrong