balled up into tight fists, tablo's hands pressed relentlessly against his tearing eyes, begging them to stop flowing. he had promised himself that he wouldn't let himself fall apart again, but he couldn't stop the past from coming back into his dreams every week. the memories seeped in through the cracks so easily. it was almost laughable how his body so readily betrayed him, time and time again.
despite having been at the institute for three or four months already, his control over his own subconscious hasn't seemed to improve at all.
at first, it had started out innocently. these dreams always do. he was taking nara to the park with minju. nara had held onto both of their hands while they lightly swung her back and forth down the path. when she got tired, he would carry her around on his shoulders and hold minju's hand. they often went during bright saturdays in summer; it was the golden era. but then everything would quickly morph into nara's bedroom, the day of her death. there was a deep red that filled his vision and --
another sleepless night. another nightmare. another return to the memories of seonwoong.
it took him some odd minutes to somewhat regain his composure. he wiped away the tears in the pitch black room. after a few deep breaths, he glanced to his right. the other bed was empty, seemingly untouched.
tablo was thankful his roommate hadn't been there for another one of his episodes. they haven't talked very often, and when they have, it's only been a sentence or two, at most, exchanged between them.
throwing the covers off and swinging his legs over, tablo stands up and tries to maneuver the dark room to the best of his ability. it wasn't long before his eyes began adjusting and he could see basic shapes and objects. once he was able to grab his jacket haphazardly from the closet and slip on his shoes, he was out the door.
the crisp, cool night air that hit him when he opened the door that led outside finally loosened the knot that had been forming in his chest. making his way down the front steps, tablo caught a dark, lonely figure sitting on one of the benches to the right. for a moment, his visible breath obscured the other, but once the small fog dissipated, he noticed it was none other than kris.
tablo almost immediately stepped in the opposite direction, but he hesitated. with his hands shoved in his pockets, he slowly moved towards his roommate, who seemed to be smoking. he stood awkwardly in front of the other, nodding at the spot next to him.