#fbwtft

Two solid knocks on the door could only indicate the presence of Newton Scamander. Theseus stood up from the couch and made his way over. His face instantly lights up at the sight of his little brother and his fiancée, MACUSA Head Auror Porpentina Goldstein. He wraps his arms around Newt and holds him a little, and an unspoken “I missed you” makes Newt reciprocate.

Theseus senses the hesitation in his actions, and as much as he wants to hold him tighter, he’s in his 40s. So he lets him go and shifts his gaze to Tina. They both simultaneously take their hand out and share a silent handshake. It’s been a while since Theseus has met Tina - they’ve only ever communicated directly to each other through owls from work. But as Theseus welcomes them into the Scamander household, he recalls the short but very Newt-like letters about Tina. It’s endearing, he thinks to himself as he tells them to settle themselves; he’s grown up so well.

It’s already the 1930s, yet the supposedly golden boy and the War Hero between the two is the alone one here.

Theseus bitterly chuckles to himself. He’s so, so alone.

He hears his mother calling that dinner’s ready from the floor below. He makes his way down to see his father, Newt and Tina seated on one side of the rectangular table. Dishes flew and were placed on the table as Theseus made his way to a seat on the other side. Both his father and Tina were having a heartfelt conversation as Newt sat in the middle, clearly out of place but compensated by observing Tina with doe eyes. Theseus finds his eyes bouncing between the crazy amount of food on the table and Newt - it’s almost comical how fast the nights change.

Just a few years ago, Newt wouldn’t be attending such dinners, leaving the entire family (especially their mother) in a somewhat sour mood. He would forget to reply to his and their mother’s letters, and Theseus often found the responses arriving several months later on his desk. And he would definitely not be making such prolonged eye contact with anyone, especially not a female and an Auror. The thought of Newt choosing an American Auror over him, particularly after the many quarrels between him and Newt about the profession, leaves Theseus feeling a pinch of unnecessary bitterness.

No, not now, he reminds himself; this isn’t about you; it’s about Newt for once. Stop being so selfish.

But Theseus recalls the time that Newt said he wasn’t a good brother at all. It was childish, and both were saying things they didn’t mean. But both brothers knew he had crossed the line - they may have far too many disagreements with their affiliations, but their relationships were always something they never touched. He apologised and said he didn’t mean it like he always does. Yet Theseus could still feel the sting decades later.

For once, he’s the one that can’t make eye contact with his brother.

The dinner was fine until Mr Scamander mentioned how Theseus was still companionless.

“Theseus,” his father started, and Theseus lifted his head from his food in surprise at his name being mentioned for the first time that night. A sigh left the oldest Scamander’s lips, “We can’t have our older Scamander walking around single, can we? You’re already in your 40’s, for Merlin’s sake.” Theseus, as always, stiffly but casually dismisses his father. “I just haven’t found the right one yet.”

“Oh, but Thee, even Newt is engaged,” his mother dramatically huffs, clearly wanting to see her children get wed. Theseus looked in Newt’s direction, and Newt responded with an awkward smile. Theseus could only wave his hand in disregard: “Newt’s grown up a lot, mum. Unfortunately, he surpassed me when it comes to finding a lifetime lover.”

“But with this job,” Theseus continued, “I have to stay at the Ministry too much. Plus, I think the Ministry’s trying to push the Head of Magical Law Enforcement title on me since Mr Travers is…well, not known for his competent personality. And you know that’s far more than just being the Head of the Auror Department, especially at a time like this.”

His mother only looked disapproved. “Newt travels so much; we don’t even know his location most of the time!” She stops to turn to Newt, whose ears turn a soft shade of pink. “Yet he’s engaged to an American Auror. What are you waiting for: an American magizoologist?” It’s Theseus’ turn to be embarrassed as he groans under his breath at the comparison. Does he look like he wants to interact with more dragons and kelpies?!

“But what about Leta?” Tina speaks up in the conversation for the first time, and Theseus can only weakly glare at her, which takes her aback. Both the Scamander parents have intense dazes on Theseus, and Newt’s eyes are only screaming apologises to him. Not that it means anything anymore. “You were dating Leta?!” his mother practically yelled, “I hope it wasn’t the Lestrange.” There was no disgust in her voice, but the disappointment was thicker than Traver’s stack of untouched paperwork on his desk. And that’s saying something.

“What was between Leta and I is none of your business.” Theseus’ words come out harsher than he intended, but he wasn’t planning on having this conversation right now. At this point, he wasn’t sure if it was directed at his parents or Tina.

“You were snogging over the Lestrange. For one, you didn’t tell us. But secondly, we thought you were better than that, Theseus Scamander.” The strictness in his father’s voice makes him internally wince a little. “What’s wrong with Leta?” Theseus asks though it’s more of a threat if anything. His father stands up abruptly, causing Theseus, Newt and Tina to flinch.

“You know exactly what’s wrong with dating Leta,” his father reprimanded, “She was your brother’s first. That’s highly inappropriate of you, Theseus.” Theseus breaks away from his father’s eye contact to briefly scan over Newt. He could tell he was feeling guilty, but now wasn’t the place where Theseus could comfort him. He returned his focus to his father. “Am I not allowed to love who I want to love? What happened to ‘finding the right one’? What if Leta was the right one? What were you going to do about that?”

This time, it was his mother who spoke up. “Then you shouldn’t have tried to get her in the first place. You should have known who was off-limits. We thought you knew better.” Theseus could feel his blood starting to boil, but he tried to remain calm and keep a straight face as his mother continued to ramble. “You betrayed the Ministry’s trust to fight in a Muggle war, and came back a hero. Only to go after the Lestrange?! You had the morals to protect even the non-wizards, yet you didn’t have the morals to go after your brother’s ex?”

“You don’t know what happened between me and Leta, Mum!” Theseus defensively resorted. He could feel himself losing his temper with every new word. Activate ‘Head Auror’ mode, he tells himself. A switch he couldn’t reach right now because this was far too personal. “We don’t, but we don’t need to know what happened to know that it was highly improper of you!” his father states, his voice significantly raised by the end. 

“Is that what you expected from me? To be the perfect son? Free from any mistakes?”

“No,” his father calmly but steadily answers, “We just wanted you to be a good example to your brother.”

“What about my happiness, dad? As long as Newt looked up to me and I did well in school, everything would be fine? Am I not allowed to fall in love?” “Oh it’s not like that, Theseus…” his mother’s voice was now softer, almost forgiving. “But you should know what you shouldn’t do. You’re the follower of rules here, Theseus.”

“There are no rules when it comes to love, mum! Weren’t you the one that told us that? Surely you aren’t backing out on your own preaches?” Theseus almost hates how mockingly the last part came out, but a voice in his head tells him it’s the right move. “I even got bloody engaged with her. But you wouldn’t know that because I knew you would all react like this!”

“Thee…” Newt’s soft-spoken voice speaks for the first time. “You didn’t tell them about the wedding?”

“Theseus Scamander.” Their father’s voice goes dangerously low, and Theseus can see how Newt instantly regrets his words. “There was a wedding, and you didn’t tell us about it?!”

“Well, it never happened, and it will never bloody will! Because she’s dead! She’s dead!” Theseus loses his temper as he finally shouts out. “Theseus, we thought you knew better than to hide secrets from us. Even Newt doesn’t do that anymore,” his mother tries to calm him down, to no effect. “Shut up! Shut up!” He suddenly stands up and storms off upstairs. The table shares hesitant glances at one another as the echo of a door slamming shut bounces off the walls of the Scamander household.

Theseus clenches his wand in his hand as he summons his briefcase. He wasn’t planning on pulling a Newt today - let alone talk about the unsaid relationship - but he couldn’t stay within these walls anymore.

Is this what Newt felt? He asks himself. Did Newt feel like the air had become suffocated and the walls had begun to close in too much?

Before all his items have been stored in his briefcase, he hears a knock at the door - two solid knocks. A second ahead of Theseus, he hears Newt’s voice say, “Alohomora,” and the door creaks open. He resists the urge to frown and lets out a heavy sigh as Newt’s figure appears. In Newt’s fashion, he stays still, not trying to close the gap between the brothers. Instead, he watches the items float into his brother’s briefcase, and it locks itself up afterwards. Theseus lets out another sigh, not wanting to let his emotions bubble over again but also knowing that he was going to have to be the one to speak up.

“Newt, are you alright?” “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you?” Theseus smiles a little, knowing that Newt is doing his best to be concerned. “I’m alright, Newt. But I’ll get going - I don’t think I’m welcome here for this dinner.” He feels Newt slowly approaching like Theseus is a demiguise that needs to be caught. Newt stops an arm’s distance away and continues to avoid eye contact. “Thee, you know me and Leta...” “Were never together,” Theseus finished Newt with a sign, “I know, I know. And by the way, tell Tina that it’s not her fault that our parents and I fought. She didn’t know. If anything, it’s mine.” Newt slightly nods and returns to the awkward Newt posture he’s always in.

Theseus picks up his suitcase and approaches Newt. He pats his shoulder before telling him, “I’ll be off now, Newt. Please tell dad and mum that we can talk about this…sometime in the future.”

“Wait,” Newt calls nearly noiselessly, “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I will be, Newt. Don’t worry about me, I’ll have it under control. You should go back down and continue eating dinner alongside Tina. Surely she’s feeling a little out-of-place there without you.” Theseus grins for the first time that night as Newt’s face turns pink from embarrassment. The older brother almost disapparates before he remembers. “Oh right, come ‘ere, Newt.” He throws his arms around Newt and holds him tighter than usual.

“Thank you for being the better son now,” Theseus whispers. He can see that Newt’s about to speak up when they break it up, but he disapparates before he can hear what he says.

Instead of apparating back home in the middle of London, he finds himself in his office at the Ministry. He tiredly makes his way to his chair and stares at the paperwork below him. They were still trying to catch Grindelwald’s tail - not easy when his goal to conquer the world means he’ll be in places far beyond Europe. But his mind wasn’t on Grindelwald’s capture right now, as much as it should be. Theseus turns his head to look at the shelf against the furthermost wall of his office. He stands up and approaches a moving picture of the Scamander family.

Newt was only two at the time, and he was ten. The family looked happily at one another as Newt was slightly wobbling while trying to walk away. His father was ruffling his hair as his mother eventually picked Newt up and kissed him on the nose.

But now, he’s the outcast of the family, a supposed backstabber to his parents’ trust. And he knew he wasn’t going to get it back as long as the relationship remained a sour subject to them and Leta’s death remained a sour subject to him.

You’re so, so selfish - the voice finally speaks up after the conversation - and so, so alone.

(Theseus swears he didn’t stay in the office all night, crying himself to sleep on his desk for the first time in a long time. Theseus swears he didn’t just stay because the house suddenly felt too big again, too big for just one person after Leta’s gone. Theseus swears he’s not resentful against anyone and that he didn’t cast the locking charm and the anti-alohomora charm on his door in fear that someone would see him in this state.