#fauxpines

In becoming a vampire, no thanks to her lying, asshole, vampire ex-boyfriend, Mabel was granted most of the usual afflictions that come with the condition. However the one that took her, and subsequently her brother, by surprise was the method of feeding that she needed. Not the usual blood that is so emphasized in media, stories, and mythology, but weirdly enough, semen.

In a moment of emergency, her brother had been willing to oblige her need to feed and provided the necessary fluids for her. However, with her hunger too great to control, his plans for a more modest feeding method quickly degenerated into a rockus night of fellatio that he had never thought he would be engaged in. Not that he minded,after all, Dipper was always willing to help his sister when she needed it,no matter what the task.

A few days after the first feeding, the twins were able to contact their great uncle Ford, via a special video phone he made for them, getting fed up with Skype, and ask about any conditions of Vampirism that he may have discovered. !

“Ah yes! Vampirism! In fact, I’ve thought about it a few times when I needed the physical capabilities to conduct my research, but the associated issues would hinder me in the long run so I would always need to change back. Good thing too. Some dimensions I found where blood didn’t exist. In all my research I did find a cure for it, however the time limit on reversing the condition is 24 hours.” The twins sighed in exasperation, feeling defeated in the news their great uncle revealed.

“However the condition is manageable,” Ford started up again with a little more enthusiasm. “I was able to find some artifacts, spells, and other techniques that can offset some of the less, desirable traits of the condition. Aside from the usual annoyances, all you have to do is make sure you have a viable food source.” The twins sighed in relief this time. There was a way to have Mabel live with it. “By the way, what is your prefered food source, Mabel?”

The twins froze, caught off guard by Ford’s nonchalant way of asking. What was he getting at? What other feeding did he mean? Did he know about theirs? “C-come again?” Dipper broke through the tense silence.

“Yes, yes, the substance you need to draw your energy from. My research has found that vampires actually have many different types of feeding styles. The most common, of course, is blood. Which can usually be human or animal. Also sweat, saliva, and even a few more unusual fluids like urine, or semen. I have found these particular vampires to be more under the classification of a crossbreed between vampires and succubi. Really fascinating to find out how many different ones there are in the world. So which is it?”

“Blood!” both the twins shot out with urgency, hoping it wasn’t too obvious they were hiding something.

“Alright, a common type then. have you found a viable source yet, children?” Ford asked, not giving any inclination of suspicion to the twins’ quick reaction.

“Candy was able to swipe a bag for me from a recent blood drive, and Sir Dipping-sauce here was nice enough to let me have some of his blood in a few emergency cases,” Mabel said, trying to keep calm with the half-truth she had to tell her Grunkle.

“Very good, just be careful though. If you don’t get a source of food regularly the hunger builds up and things can get a little… crazy.”

CRASH!!!

“STANLEY!” Ford yelled, turning his head to look off screen with a tinge of irritation in his eyes, “I told you to stop messing with my experiments! Sorry kids, I have to go. Let me know if things change.”

The line disconnected and the screen turning back to the devices menu settings. The twins were grateful that the chat was cut short as neither of them were sure they could hide the reddening of their faces. They knew exactly how wild things could get if her hunger was left unchecked.

“Welp”, Mabel said, slapping her hands to her knees after a moment of awkward silence . “Looks like we got to find me a new food source then.”

“Hehe, y-yeah. I guess we do.” Dipper joined, in scratching at the stubble on his chin.

The following weekend, Mabel and Dipper worked hard on finding a new food source. Mabel knew the easiest method for finding one, but she didn’t much like the prospect. She always considered herself a love expert, and felt her skills improved as she grew older and learned more about relationships and dating. However using her skills to just land a guy to suck off she felt would besmirch her talents. BESMIRCH! Plus, she was not the kind of girl to mess with someone’s emotions, she learned that lesson years ago.

The Pines twins’ plan of attack was to find any guy looking for a good time as much as she was looking for an easy meal. The two would peruse areas for guys who may be looking for an easy hook up, and being college that seemed easy enough. On weekends they would go to the bars, frat houses, and any type of party that looked wild enough. The point was to find drunk bros, which much to Mabel’s chagrin, was not her type.

Mabel busted out her best to attract and draw in the easier prey: Tops that showed off more cleavage, skirts that rode a little high, heels that accentuated her booty. She knew she would hit the mark when, on more than a few occasions, she got Dipper red in the face or had him stare a little too long when asking him what he thought. If it was good enough for him, it was good for some fast food. With Candy and Grenda by her side as her wing women, she felt like it would be easy pickins.

Dipper also took up a role in her hunts as more of the scout. He would look in areas Mabel couldn’t normally go, like the men’s restroom. Even though she was a sperm-sucking vampire, Mabel still had standards. He would also offer to go to other bars nearby, increasing their range, and allowing Mabel a second set of eyes if she couldn’t find anything for herself.

Dipper was a little against this method, and memories would surface of how protective he could be from similar guys trying to hit on her in the past.  How he would intervene if the guy wouldn’t take the hint. She always felt a comfort in how he would watch out for her, making her heart give a little flutter at the thought. The thoughts were pretty nice, in a weird way. It made her kind of glad their options were a little limited, since it meant he agreed to help despite his misgivings.

Despite all their efforts, however, Mabel kept running into the same problem every time. She would land a guy, and get back to his place or hers. They would start by making out,  Mabel thinking sexy thoughts to get her through the start if she wasn’t into the guy, which was most of the time. Admittedly, Mabel would occasionally have a flash of Dipper and his manhood run through her mind. The taste of his seed, the smell of his musk, the warmth and texture of his shaft on her tongue would all do the trick to push her past her current prize with the more delectable memories of her exquisite first meal, driving her hunger enough not to care. Still, most of the time once they got past the make out phase, she would start to wane in her appetite for the guy in hand. The saliva would at least be a slight appetizer which gave her some energy, and a slight taste of what was to come. Or in many cases, didn’t come.

Her vampire senses presented both a blessing and a curse, allowing her to see, hear, taste, touch, and smell exceptionally better than before. However, the smell and taste became an issue to her. When she tried to select her prey for the night usually she could only catch a faint hint of their smell among the myriad of scents in the usual pick up spots. But once she got some one-on-one time the smell became more noticable and harder to ignore. If the taste of the make-out session didn’t send her packing, then the whiff of what lay to the south surely did.

The first few attempts to eat were more forced, Mabel going about a more ‘giving it the old college try’ mentality, as she was not used to such a casual take on such an intimate action. She tried to dive right in, in some cases holding her breath to avoid the scent. The taste of pre-cum that exuded from their member gave a stronger taste than the make-out sampler. It was too strong in some cases, ending the session earlier than expected. If she was able to get past the drops that were a precursor of what came next, she regretted it afterwards.

The surge of life-sustaining fluids tasted nothing like what she received from Dipper. It drove her sense of taste over the edge to the point of being physically ill in some cases. She wrote it off as being from having too much to drink that night, not that she had a drop to begin with, and excused herself to purge the contents of her belly.

After a few times to try and get a new food source from weekend to weekend, Mabel learned to check waste baskets and bedding to get a better look at the menu rather than lead a guy on with the make-out session. Picking up on trace amounts of fluids was easy enough, but led to the same disappointing conclusion that she was not hungry enough to drink what she thought tasted like a milkshake made with carrot juice and squid.

A few times the guys would get belligerent, which Mabel could understand, but did not take kindly to. In those moments she was always happy knowing that her new condition provided her the means to defend herself just fine. Dipper was always sweet telling her he would stay close in case she needed help, but was always proven unnecessary after she showed she could take care of herself now. He still made it a point to ask her to contact him in case things got out of hand. They never did, but she still felt a warmth knowing her brother always wanted to be her hero in her time of need.

At the end of the night though, he really was her hero. Perhaps not in the normal sense, but he had saved her from a few nights of going hungry. After the first few failed feedings, Mabel had turned to her brother, asking for something to hold her over in case she didn’t get enough energy from her supposed dinner. He had been a little taken aback, surprised that Mabel had struck out with the guys she tried to get with. After hearing her situation though, he was willing to oblige.

Since they had already went all the way with the first meal he provided her (or second, technically) it wasn’t the most awkward thing to ask him. They decided to arrange that if she needed a quick pick me up shot Dipper would provide it. He would rub one out in a condom like the first time when she asked, agreeing to this method since she didn’t really want to press the issue of getting it straight from the source. Partially embarrassed from how she lost control last time and partly because she didn’t want to admit how good it made her feel to feed off of him.

But since she did lose control, she settled for a sack lunch. Despite the fact that it wasn’t fresh, the ambrosia she remembered still tasted as sweet and savory as ever, filling her with a warm sensation through her whole being as she imbibed it. Yet as she enjoyed what she could get from him, more and more she would ask for a late night snack as she kept failing to feed. Even if she was successful, she would often ask for a chaser to get the terrible taste out of her mouth and wash away the dissatisfaction.

“Another dud, huh?” Dipper asked as Mabel begged him for another semeny snack. He rubbed the back of this neck nervously as he sat on the edge of his bed. “I’m sorry this keeps happening, but… you sure about this, Mabes?” “I mean, I know I was your first source, but I can’t be that much better than the guys you were going after. I’ve seen the kind of guys you go boy crazy for. Some of them seemed your type from what I guessed.”

“You don’t understand, Dipper. I thought they were going to be okay, but when we stepped away from the crowds and got some one-on-one fun time, their B.O. would make my stomach go ‘OH NO!’” she said in a silly voice reminiscent of the Kool-aid man, punctuating her last statement with a playful poke to the stomach.

Dipper sighed out in willing defeat. “Well, I don’t want my sister to starve. And Ford did say it would be bad to let you go too long without feeding. I mean, we have first hand experience with that.” He blushed at the thought of it.

“Hehe, yeah. I guess I got a little too cray-cray on my bro-bro then. I promise I’ll be better and keep it under control. You did give me a lot that time though and I’m not as hungry as then, but I am getting a little bit now,” she said shyly, biting her fingers, her fangs showing slightly.

“I guess we could give it another go. If it could help us avoid another frenzy. Just give me a minute and…” He reached for his sock drawer and pulled out another set of condoms and tore off a square.

Mabel reached out and grabbed his wrist firmly with a restrained urgency.

“Actually, I was thinking we could maybe try sooooomething else?” she said, biting her lower lip.

“Um-uh, o-o-okay? Uh, w-what did yooooouuuu haveinmindexactly?” Dipper asked with a nervousness in his voice. His eyes showed a glint of fearful curiosity. “I mean d-did you want to just, um…” He coughed in his fist, unable to finish the thought, instead looking down to his crotch.  

“N-no, I mean kinda, I mean not yet, I mean…,” Mabel took a deep breath to calm her flustered self from saying what she wanted. “Grunkle Ford did say that vampires could use other food sources too, right? When I was trying to do some ‘meal prep’, so to say, I got a slight taste from the make-out sesh. I mean it wasn’t like a full first course, but it gave me just enough to make it through the night, or at least to you.” She stared down to the floor as she said it, grabbing at a lock of hair, twisting it in her fingers nervously. “Kind of like having cold fries before having a four star meal. So maybe we can give that a try? I mean if you don’t mind your sis macckin’ all over you?” Mabel explained spitting the hair out and adding a slight giggle.

Dipper thought about it, contemplating the scientific ramifications of it all. “True, I mean, I don’t mind giving you what you need in the end. You know, since we already did, well… you know.” He blushed and coughed into his hand again. “But if this is what you want to do then I’ll do it...” His lips turned upwards into a warm, comforting smile and he placed a hand on her knee, “...for you.”

“You really are the best, broseph.” She clasped his hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. “So how do you want to ya know… do this. I don’t want to break you as bad as last time”

“How about you start and take it how you feel. After all, it is your ‘snack time’.”

“Okay then, I mean, no biggie. We did this before, kissing and all ya know. Just one twin helping the other this time.” Her face flushed a slight pink as she leaned into him. The closer she got, the more warmth she could feel from his breath. He met her half-way, connecting with her lips, softly and gently as to test the waters of this new/revisited experiment.

Mabel felt a slight jolt of energy right when their lips made contact. She was reminded of drinking hot cocoa, the warmth of the sweet liquid making contact with her lips before letting it in. This was a thousand times better in her opinion. Sweeter than any cocoa she could buy, with a perfect heat that warmed her to the core without burning her, and a scent that she learned from experience was about to come.

Remembering her first feeding and how that tasted, this one seemed more like a light snack. Lighter, like a small drop, but still giving nourishment. She found it peculiar thinking about all those other guys, that they couldn’t give her this amount of energy from even the full salty shebang. Just this kiss might have been enough for her. She wanted more. She needed more!

Mabel pressed more into her brother’s lips. He seemed just as eager to receive her. Their mouths opened slightly, allowing their tongues to pass though and connect. Soon the drop on her lips turned into a drizzle on her tongue as they embraced one another. Their hands began grabbing frantically at each others clothes and hair. Mabel was desperate to get a grip, as though doing so would make him give her more of what she was tasting.

The full flavor of his saliva was just what she expected from the initial kiss. It was as if she were drinking up the most delectable beverage in the world.The closest thing she could compare would be the sweetest honey, mixed into the smoothest of creams, with a slight hint of a fruit that is so amazing it may have not been discovered yet. She knew well enough that Dipper didn’t partake much in these foods, so she accounted this blending of flavors as his own personal essence. She couldn’t get enough.

Every bit of pressure, every smack of the lips, every grab at her tresses of hair and clothing was like she was being treated to the best dining service she’d ever had. She was disappointed when she had to stop for a breath, much like in the past drinking too heavily to quench her thirst. She panted heavily after her intense snack session, looking down at her brother.

Lips pink and slightly swollen, eyes half-lidded with a sense of shock and euphoria, a small trail of saliva that lay at the corner of his mouth from when she pulled away. He was breathing just as hard, if not harder from the intensity of what they shared. But, His body didn’t have the stamina of a vampire to keep up, and he looked exhausted.

“Oh my gosh Dip! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to lose control like that again. Are you alright?” Mabel laid her hand on his face, cupping his cheek. He nuzzled into it and grabbed it with his, squeezing her hand lovingly. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him being so warm and affectionate to her touch. A small flutter began to rise in her stomach.

“Yeah Mabes,” he said between breaths. “I’m fine. Just never had a make out session that intense before.”

Mabel cocked her head to the side in confusion. “Really?” The gears started turning in her head at all what he just said could mean. She decided to take a chance on it. She turned her head back upright with a devious smile spreading across her face and eyelids half-lidded. She asked again with a sultry tone, “Really?”

“I mean, I’ve had some pretty good ones in the past, but I think you just set the bar.” After uttering those words Dipper’s eyes shot wide open realizing the confession he just made. “I-I-I mean, um, ah...”

She pressed a finger to his lips as if to push the pause button on his mind. It seemed to work, as he halted his hectic explanation. “Relax broseph, after all we’ve done since I transformed, it’s not the weirdest thing to admit. Plus, if I were to be really honest, you make a great kisser too. And not just because you taste so amazing.” She bent down to him lapping up the small bit of spittle at the corner of his mouth left behind from her earlier departure, and followed with a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Thanks, Dipper, for being so understanding.”

He reached up to stroke her hair and wrapped his arms around her to cuddle on the bed. “Of course Mabel. I’d do anything to take care of you,” he said gently as she wrapped her arms around him too, and slipped into a warm embrace.

After about 20 minutes of blissfully cuddling with each other, Dipper broke the silence. “Hey Mabel? Not to ruin the mood, but I got a question for you.”

“What’s up Dip-dop?”

“So did that give you the energy you needed then? I mean. I know you need um, you know, the other stuff, to be fully nourished, but how did that work for you?” he said in his usual sense of curiosity he had for the supernatural but underlined with and awkwardness for talking about this particular subject with his sister. .

“Dang Dip,” Mabel said with a bit of disbelief at what he just asked. She sat up out of the cuddle session, feeling its warmth and enjoyment snuffed out by awkward sciency questions.  “Can’t just let that curious mind take a break for once, can you?” She tapped her index finger to his forehead as she asked him.

Placing her hands on her hips she began to give him the answer he was looking for with a hint of annoyance for being such a wet blanket to the warm and silent affection they were sharing. “If you must know, it actually filled me up better than any other guy I tried with. Like, even when I got a full load out of them,” she said matter of factly and ended with her arms crossing across her chest.

Dipper shifted a bit at the last statement showing discomfort at the premise. Mabel picked up on it, all her senses making it hard to ignore. “Um, sorry, Dipper. Just wanted to be honest with ya. Must be getting too used to these feeding arrangements that it seems normal now,” she said, patting his thigh, hoping to ease his distress.  

“No no. It’s fine. I mean, I asked after all,” he replied, trying to shake off his embarrassment at the mental image of Mabel with those other guys. “But, like, ya know...  I just can’t help but wonder. What makes this so different,’’ he gestured between the two of them. “Why are you getting more out of me? Like, what makes me so special?”

“I dunno. Maybe those guys were just not that tasty to begin with? Like even regular Mabel would have passed them up if given the option. Or maybe you just happen to be so sweet helping a girl out like this,” Mabel added, poking Dipper in the cheek, drawing circles into his stubble with her finger.

“Hehe, thanks for the compliment Mabel,” he said, grabbing her hand gently to cease the playful pokes, “but seriously, if we don’t get this feeding thing figured out soon, I may just be your soul source of food.”

“Well,” she said with a little hesitation in her voice, “it’s not like it would be the worst thing ever.”

Dipper was a little caught off guard by the comment. “Wait, what?” he asked in disbelief.

“I mean, sure it may be a little awkward to find a new food source. But as long as I have you to keep me fed when that falls through I should be alright,” she said with a chipper attitude. Then she turned serious and sour. “Unless, of course, this arrangement bothers you.”

“What!? No, Mabes, of course not!” He raised his hands between them as if to deflect her accusation, shaking his head to assure her it wasn’t true. “I was just thinking about your, uh, situation. You know, I don’t want you missing out on anything because of this is all. I can handle anything to make sure you are fed. Just that...” he sat and stared at the floor silently, hesitation and concern about what he was going to say plastered on his face.

“Spit it out Dipper,” she said, slightly annoyed at his hesitation.

“You really don’t mind me being your source of sustenance? I mean,” he looked away scratching his neck, a few drops of sweat forming on his brow, “don’t you find it a little... weird?”

“Sir Dippingsauce I am surprised at you. We’re the MYSTERY TWINS, weird is in our genes. And we already passed the bounds of weird with me being a sperm-sucking vamp. If that happens to come from my twin bro-bro so be it,” she said defiantly. Mabel settled herself down and placed a hand on Dipper’s shoulder, speaking calmly. “But if it bothers you, we can always find another way.”

“No!” He jerked his body to face her straight-on making her release his shoulder. His eyes appreaed filled with worry at the suggestion . “I-I mean... like I said. I just want to make sure you are okay with this,” he added before turning his head to stare at the floor.

Mabel leaned in to deliver a kiss on his cheek, her lips parting just enough for her tongue to graze along his skin and leave a wet spot. She pulled back and proceeded to lick her lips, humming in pleasure. Dipper felt a shiver run down his spine, causing Mabel to giggle. “Yep, just as sweet since I last checked.”

She gently grabbed him by the back of the neck and placed her forehead to his. His face emitted a greater heat and his pulse quicked. “Don’t worry Dipper,” she said in a soft, gentle tone. “We’ll check with Grunkle Ford about this whole thing. Come what may we’ll get this figured out. Now come back here and cuddle me dag-nabbit.”

Dipper looked up into her eyes. She could tell just in this short talk that it was what he needed. Concern still flitted in his gaze, but also comfort and love. Her senses picked up on his vitals, telling her that he was calming down.“Okay, okay. ‘Come what may’ it is,” he said embracing his sister once again.

The sound of his heartbeat, his personal scent,  and warmth he emitted comforted her in ways she hadn’t thought possible. For her, next to him now, everything was perfect.