INCOMING BRICK TO MY FACE DETECTED, HOLY SHIT: @faultedcrime
FROM THE SECOND YOU WERE RAISED FROM THE DIRT, gasping & inhaling cold martian air, you have known that your life is nothing but currency to buy time for others. you die for those who cannot get back up. your spilled blood is a sacrifice for the safety of all. and it has been this way for as long as you have been a guardian, before that word was used to describe people like you. it has been that way for untold centuries that blur together in a sea of red: your hands are filthy with the blood of literal gods. and you , ever-dutiful, have considered it an honor to pay that price, even if it still hurts.
( but how long has it been since someone has knelt over your body and wept? )
throat burns with unshed tears, instinctively flinching as the convict's voice rises, righteous & angry, even as you sit there, shell-shocked & numb. he's so human, it burns. it burns because it's rightfully upset over your, quite frankly, cavalier attitude towards your own death, how quickly you throw it away for others because of how long you have been casually violating the boundary between life & death. until it was blurred with your blood. until death became just the cost of doing your job.
" . . . yes ? " it's all you have to offer, hesitant & shell-shocked as your eyes bore into its, defiant despite the tears. voice stays even, horrifically calm despite everything as you explain, " dying is part of my job as a guardian. it has been part of my job for centuries. so yes , it's pretty normal , & no, people don't really . . . " light , how do you explain it? any of it , to someone who has no frame of reference ? the emotions bubble in the back of your throat , tasting like ash & blood as you curl inwards , still sitting on the cold , metallic floor - hugging knees to pulsing chest & unable to look at simon any longer. ( the cold biting into what's left of your skin reminds you that you're still here. )
" i'm sorry. " it comes out as a mumble: quiet, ashamed for being so callous. despite other's lives being sacred, yours has lost such meaning. it's just currency now. it's your job to die. ( slowly, you raise off the ground - gaze falling on it fully , now cast in a soft light of blue as scarred, human fingertips extend , reaching to close the trench between them & him. ) " i shouldn't have said you were overreacting. i - i didn't think about -- " an exhale rattles in your chest, shoulders sagging with the gravity of centuries as your hand falls back to your side. " . . . i'm . . . not used to people giving a shit, simon."









