#fathermichael

I also realized that Father Michael knew where my soul was headed last semester. I went to confession to him sometime in early September and he told me “have patience with yourself.” (I don’t recall the sins I confessed which is good, though it may be a bit helpful to try to figure out if any of my sins prompted him to say those words.) I simply responded with “Okay” without truly understanding what he meant. Despite him responding to my request for him to further elaborate what he meant by that a couple weeks later, I still didn’t quite understand what he had meant for I was already too blind to see. I probably needed to come to this realization myself for me to fully understand and accept what he meant. Back then, I was also not very familiar with a saint who would provide me with the words of consolation that I discovered today – St. Francis de Sales.

Whether Father Michael knew it or not, he was quoting St. Francis de Sales who said “Have patience with every one, but especially with yourself. I mean, do not be over-troubled about your imperfections, but always have courage enough at once to rise up again when you fall into any of them.“

What words of wisdom!

I have now discovered one of my biggest problems is impatience. It pains me that it took me so long (not to mention the additional stress and unnecessary worrying) to realize this. I still cannot help but think that I need to figure things out now, at this very moment, when what is truly important is that I figure things out in God’s time. I need to be patient and trust in God that I am right where He wants me to be at this very moment.

In case this provides you any consolation or encouragement, below is an excerpt of a section from The Spirit of Saint Francis de Sales from which the quote is taken from:

UPON DISCOURAGEMENT

Our Blessed Father [St. Francis de Sales] used to say that the most cowardly of all temptations was discouragement. When the enemy of our salvation makes us lose hope of ever advancing in virtue he has gained a great advantage over us, and may very soon succeed in thrusting us down into the abyss of vice. Those who fly into a passion at the sight of their own imperfections are like people who want to strike and bruise their own faces, because they are not handsome enough to please their self-love. They only hurt themselves the more.

The holy Bishop wishing to correct this fault in one of his penitents said to her: "Have patience with every one, but especially with yourself. I mean, do not be over-troubled about your imperfections, but always have courage enough at once to rise up again when you fall into any of them. I am very glad to hear that you begin afresh every day. There is no better means for persevering in the spiritual life than continually to be beginning again, and never to think that one has done enough."

On these words we may make the following reflections:

How shall we patiently suffer the faults of our neighbour if we are impatient over our own?

How shall we reprove others in a spirit of gentleness if we correct ourselves with irritation, with disgust, and with unreasonable sharpness? What can come out of a bag but what is in it?

Those who fret impatiently over their own imperfections will never correct themselves of them, for correction, if it is to be of use, must proceed from a tranquil, restful mind. “Cowardice”, says David, “is the companion of trouble and tempest.”

He who has lost courage has lost everything, he who has thrown up the game can never win, nor can the soldier who has thrown away his arms return to the fight, however much he may want to do.

David said: I waited for him that saved me from pusillanimity and a storm. He who believes himself to be far advanced in the ways of God has not yet even made a good beginning.

St. Paul, who had been raised to the third heaven, who had fought so many good fights, run so many splendid races, and had kept the Faith inviolate, in spite of all, never thought that he had finished his work, or reached the goal, but always pressed forward as though he had but just begun.[1]

This mortal life is but a road leading to heaven. It is a road to which we must steadily keep. He who stops short in it runs the risk of not reaching safely the presence of God in which it ends. He who says, I have enough, thereby shows that he has not enough; for in spiritual things sufficiency implies the desire for more.