I just had one of those : 'You'd be so pretty if you were thin. You should lose weight cos all the men would be crazy about you', interactions and it actually gave me pause. Being fat, and therefore moving through the world as ugly, has given me insight into people that I wouldn't wish away for anything. People are bare to you and honest with you when they think you are worthless, when they think you are undesirable, when they believe your only value is in some kind of service to them. I often wonder if those people on the get thin win dick side of the weight-loss equation ever consider that I desperately do not want men who don't want me in the form I am now. I want nothing to do with a partner who cannot see my magnificence as I am now. Who is not wildly attracted to the fire of me. Who doesn't want to kiss every glorious inch of me. I can only imagine the horror of getting thin and then having people who treated you like shit, or with indifference, suddenly turn a lustful gaze on you. My skin crawls at the thought because those are not people I want anywhere near the truth of me. Bodies change. Age, injury, disease - these things often change your physical form irrevocably and why would you want to be with somebody so fickle and hollow that they can't stand those changes, that they cannot be with you utterly throughout those transformations. I'm not even a little bit interested in the shallow legion of potential suitors that might appear if I got thin. God forbid. Ugh.
