Sep 10, 2025
Incident Report: Wild Fae Ejection
Root & Ember staff report ejecting a wild fae (again) for attempted glitter theft. The fae claims innocence. The floor sparkles anyway.
Lys: “This is the third time this week.”
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Incident Report: Wild Fae Ejection
Root & Ember staff report ejecting a wild fae (again) for attempted glitter theft. The fae claims innocence. The floor sparkles anyway.
Lys: “This is the third time this week.”
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Submission Request: Petty Grievances
The Archive is Now Accepting: Petty complaints, minor hexes, and unsolicited haiku. Please submit in triplicate or shout them loudly near the vents.
Skim: “Bonus points if your grievance involves bread.”
Overheard at the Root & Ember
Rye (quietly): “Soup again? That’s ambitious, Calen.”
Tamsin (dry): “Even the bread’s acting strange tonight.”
Fiachna (with a sigh): “Even Lys says it’s a full moon. She might be right.”
Calen (to the room): “Last round for bets on what the rat steals next!”
Dara (shrugging): “I never trusted soup at this place anyway.”
Fiachna (quietly): “Everyone’s a little jumpy. You notice?”
---
Filed by an unidentified patron. Complaints about soup, bread, or rats will be filed and then promptly lost.
Blort: “Soup again? We really should start an archive for culinary mishaps. The vents have opinions.”
Skim: “The first word is always the most suspicious. Or was it the last? Either way, nine out of ten archives agree: never bet against the rat.”
Meet the archivists
Welcome to the Collection!
Our archive is curated (in a loose sense) by a select few:
Not brothers. Not a band. Definitely a hazard.
Blort, Skim, Gribble, and Jubilee (the rat—he insists) are the questionable gnomish custodians of the Collection.
Blort: Vent mapper, cheese cartographer, gnome.
Skim: Ceiling walker, reality-folding specialist, gnome (probably).
Gribble: Wardrobe dweller, time accident enthusiast, gnome.
Jubilee: Archivist rat. Disapproves of nearly everything. Signs off on “rat approved” posts and will bite if not consulted.
Together, they manage, misfile, and generally muddle the archives. Please direct all inquiries to the vents (or Jubilee, if you crave an honest opinion).