#fantasy powers

Hello! Back in 2019, I put out a request for betas on my then-finished manuscript. Since then, the book has MASSIVELY changed. I've fundamentally rewritten it TWICE now, and it's time for a redo. So I'm once again asking if people are interested in beta reading my book!

(working) Title: "And Still the Elements Were Unsatisfied"

Synopsis (aka that thing I’m horrible at):

In a world where the Elements are literal gods with control over the forces of nature, their children, Elementals, exist among humans.  One such Elemental, a thief named Mel, finds herself pulled into a series of events with five others.  Their goal: to defeat a growing threat to the world and the Academy, the seemingly last safe place for Elementals to call home.  Along the way, however, the small group will have to find themselves and their purpose, while sinking deeper into a dichotomy that challenges what they believe in, all the while trying to outsmart the sinister man threatening everything they hold dear.

You’ll enjoy the book if you like:

A colorful cast of diverse queer characters

A protagonist who is canonically asexual and a lesbian

Found family tropes

The moral ambiguity of war, religion, and mass systems of government (and how people try to navigate it)

Strong relationships built off of tragic backstories

Exploring the concept of choice in relation to prejudices, family, and whom you love

Fun fantasy powers and the magic behind them!

Interesting world-building complete with vivid descriptions of an entirely new world

Distinct characters with individual personalities that work well together and apart

As a beta reader, you would do the following:

Reading and responding to the manuscript and leaving comments.

Responding to some specific questions I have (there’s not many)

Tell me your honest reactions to the work!  Who’s your favorite character, who do you think could use better characterization, what scenes do you think could use some more work.  Have fun and spill on your deepest critiques!

You must:

Be over 16 years old.  There’s not any graphic sex scenes or anything, but there’s a lot of cursing, and some sexual content.

Don’t read it if you don’t like it, and let me know if it’s not your cup of tea!

Please be honest and constructively critical!  I want honest critiques, not just gushing.

If you’re interested:

Send me a direct message on Tumblr with:

Your first name

Your email address

What format you’d like the manuscript to be in (I can do .docx or .pdf)

Any questions you might have

Magic in fantasy worlds is wonderful, thrilling, and sometimes even poetic. But let’s not kid ourselves; not all magic is sparkles and unicorns. There’s a whole lot of muck, blood, and sinister whispering in the shadows. Let’s take a stroll through the darker alleys of magic systems. Just be careful where you step. Blood Magic: The Price of Power Blood magic sounds pretty cool until you…

So here's an idea that'd be a neat way of giving your characters cool and interesting powers.

What if they could use spirits/demons/ghosts/spooky-entity-things as a way to fight?

Now the most obvious way of doing this would be summoning them into a more tangible state of being so they can just go around punching, casting spells, and yelling at the whoever the character tells them to.

But also I'm sure being used like that would probably make the most of entities a bit angry, even more so if they aren't respected or treated well. So why not have them occasionally resist orders, or do them in a way that hinders who summoned them.

Now a more interesting thing you could do would be turning the summoned entities into weapons and armour which are imbued with powerful magic abilities based on what kind of entity they are.

Also the armour and weapons should definitely be able to talk and sass the person who's using them and the people they're fighting.

A really interesting idea would be letting the summoned entities like temporarily and partially posses the character who summoned them as part of some sorta magical contract thing. Now this would grant the character power and the ability to fight for what they believe in, and the demon would get the chance to manifest themselves in the physically and in a way that grants them more freedom than the first idea.

Form into razor sharp feathers

Engulf my enemies

Cut them to ribbons!

What's my Fantasy Powers

The ability to absorb mana and turn it into anything, but the form it typically takes is the form of feathers. Whether that's clothes, or tools or other objects. It's always got a feather or wing on them or is, in fact of them. I can use in general magics if they use any kind of surrounding mana. From healing to magical bolts. I can perform any role given my versatility or provide magical weapons with special enchantments.

Any weapons I create end up being made of purely feathers ruffled together in the shape of a weapon, possibly more than one feather, and or seemingly wing shaped solid object that kinda feels like a real wing but isn't real is actually the manifestation of my will via mana. I can even make tools like keys or in general workman tools, etc. Can either be magically wielded or will imbued, of which may have their own piece of me within them for a time. (I'm like my own workforce haha) I'm also consciously aware of all weapons summoned by me and who has them. I can send magic through them to the individual for healing or increased buffs to the weapon or tool.

My primary skill is transforming mana into threads, of which often take the form of clothing or some other thing. I can create my own wings, I can change the color of anything I make. I have another ability I refer to as wardrobe of plumage. Of which is where I can design my own brand of feather clothes. I can even create my own vehicles in the shape of various birds to carry people or things, but takes medium mana to sustain.

I do have, however, combat related abilities. Any tool i make is always feathershaped. Wing sword? Feather dagger? I have an AOE attack called feather storm, which allows me to form quills in rapid succession, of which are razor sharp imagine getting stabbed with that shit.

I also have a transformation ability, which has a cool-down. It allows me to take the form of any bird I've seen, but I also have a larger and more mana heavy ability that allows me to transform into an avian dragon. (Dragon with feathered wings and beak) I have traits such as avian voice, which allows me to copy not just anyone's voice but also any sound or animal. I can partially transform my body as a modification, allowing for talon hands or other limbs and enhancements.

I have a trait that allows me to absorb the hate of my enemies and turn it into my strength. The more they hate me, the more powerful and larger I can become. It also allows for self-healing, being almost completely invincible if they hate me enough.

I have a sort of limit-break ability? I can absorb all the self stored mana I have in my pools and continuously drain the ambient mana. Doing this transforms me into my Phoenix form, which allows me to endlessly pull mana from the environment and other people.

This ability is directly connected to my passion and caring for people and things. The more I feel, the more I become engulfed in flames from the feathers that surrounded me. This ability has a very large cooldown, and I would pass out after having timed it out, which is essentially when i stop using it. It's a last resort sort of ability that has both beneficial and detrimental effects.

One benefit to this ability is that it's insanely powerful. I nullify any magic user as totally useless. They can't cast any magic at all. As though the entire widespread area is under anti-magic aura, but in fact is under the influence of my primal flames trait, which again, allows me to constantly drain mana within an area of effect.

Another benefit is that if someone is capable of killing me while this ability is in use, I'll simply burst into flames and emerge from the ashes totally refreshed but with all abilities and traits locked for a few days. This power also extends to any allies within the area of effect. If they die. They're reborn from their own self combustion, except they won't have the same restrictions as I do, their powers and abilities will be entirely refreshed with zero detrimental effects.

A few other benefits are not just self-healing, but the healing of allies and the burning of all enemies within the area of effect. Enemies are under a constant ethereal burn of transcendent damage, and even after exiting the area of effect, they are marked by my primal flames for a short time if I wish to pursue them. The area of effect for this ability also moves with me.

Even if I'm killed during its use, the primal flames will remain upon them, giving them a constant drain on both HP and mana. It can't be healed or removed. It simply has to time they have to hope they have the vitality to sustain it.

The downsides to this ability are very heavy. Not just in how long it takes to recover from, but also how it causes me to become incapacitated after its use. Surrounding myself in winged cocoon, I sleep until I am restored. After my initial days or weeks or perhaps even months, depending on how long i used the ability. My own abilities will remain locked during that time. In which I might suffer mild pain to headaches. My mana regenerates very slowly, and I may be slow to move. This ability in its entirety is mainly for the protection of others as well as it is for self-preservation.