To anyone worried about their emotional investment (and consequent grief/devastation/ongoing coping issues) with fictional material: Please consider sports fans and fannishness before you judge yourself too harshly. It is normal human behavior to have large emotional reactions to things you care about and even more so when it's bigger than your own life (in the way sports and tv shows can be.)
We all know sports fan activities tend to be masculine-coded and therefore socially acceptable while story fan activities are coded feminine/queer and therefore looked down on.
So don't worry about it. It would be nice if we could all meet around the water cooler and chat openly about our feelings without censoring ourselves or fearing judgement from those who don't necessarily understand. But that's why we have cons and tumblr etc.
Take care of yourselves. Be gentle with yourself. Who you are is okay. You don't need to be different. Know that time will pass and you will feel better.
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Just saw a post about writing fat characters, and how Terry Pratchett wrote about Sybil (very well, her fatness a part of her but not used narratively to ridicule her).
One of the many things I appreciate about the Scholomance trilogy by Naomi Novik is that relevant character description happens when you are introduced to a character for the first time, and then it comes up again where it is again relevant, and outside of that it isn't emphasized if it would have no bearing.
As a result, there are a few characters who are plump/ overweight and that is mentioned, it is a part of the world, but also it isn't used as a bludgeon or as a shorthand for negative traits. (It's not used to visually indicate laziness or pettiness or incompetence.)
Like, El's mum is not skinny. She's also incredibly competent and her work is respected. This feels rare (and maybe that's just me) but I really do appreciate it.
@indiscreettransexual your 'I don't go here, but I'm here for THIS' vibes inspired this post <3 And since I was tagged by @kcscribbler @notyourmamasdeerbat and @insert-witty-user-name-here let's call this my WiP Wednesday post. Sorry in advance, everyone. <3
Just to get this out of the way: I am not implying I know all about these characters, and this is by no means an attempt at an in-depth psychological analysis of either Emmrich or Astarion, nor is it an exhaustive explanation of either fictional worlds - this is me sharing my thoughts and ideas regarding why I’m so excited to dig into this BG3 crossover fic. And to let those of you unfamiliar with either Dragon Age or Baldur’s Gate/D&D get the lay of the land.
In other words: welcome to my TED Talk, below the cut.
Also, sorry for tagging you in all these posts, @tinygameralec <3 See how far I'm running with your idea?
The worlds
Both Thedas and Faerûn are continents in worlds steeped in the Dark Fantasy genre, populated by an assortment of races/species that coexist with varying degrees of success. You have dwarves and elves, humanoids with horns (Qunari/Kossith and tieflings, half devils/half humans et cetera), hurlocks and genlocks; hobgoblins, goblins and orcs. The list goes on, especially for the D&D world.
The Dragon Age games have gradually moved from classic dark fantasy with overt oppression and systematic abuse to its latest instalment, which is basically a game about grief, loss, and how to recover from that through the combined strength of your friends and community; you have to own up to your mistakes, and try to save the world from being literally corrupted by a Blight. And there are two escaped elven gods out to squash anyone opposing them like a little tiny insect.
Baldur’s Gate 3 shares some of those themes of ragtag companionship and joining forces to save the world, but it also really digs into the darker aspects of its genre. It’s gory, disturbing, and asks all kinds of questions about what it means to be Whoever You Are in a world that largely gives less than one single fuck about you, and, more or less actively tries to kill you for any number of reasons - chief of which being you’ve been infected with a thousand-toothed tadpole that will turn you into a tentacled monster set on world domination in a matter of days.
Thedas has a High Fantasy religious system, where you have Fantasy Catholicism, and Elven Paganism, but no Hell, no demons. When the god referred to as ‘the Maker’ deemed mortals unworthy, he pretty much said “You’re on your own, kids, good luck finding redemption. Deal with your own shit.”
Faerûn has demons galore, and several levels of Hell - and a whole plethora of deities. Dwarves have their own pantheon, as do elves and humans - if you’re an elf or dwarf from the Underdark (drow or duergar, respectively) you have your own set of gods and belief systems. One of the playable races in BG3, githyanki, worship a living ruler called Vlaakith. She’s so powerful she basically named herself a god/ascended to a godlike status among her people. And then, of course, there are the Ilithids, the tentacled race of psionic powerhouses that Astarion will be transformed into - unless he finds some way of removing the tadpole germinating inside his brain.
So, on the surface, the worlds are inhabited by similar creatures, share similar themes of corruption (and how to fight it) while Faerûn is vastly more diverse with regards to player characters and religious systems.
On the topic of elves
Because Astarion isn’t just a vampire spawn, but a High Elf, let’s dig into the different views on elves.
In Faerûn, elves are, by and large, considered to be beautiful, capable, and trustworthy… with some exceptions. They come from all walks in life, and can have different origins - in BG3 they’re limited to High Elf, Wood Elf, or Drow. Drow are EVIL! Just look at those red eyes! They worship spiders! WOE! No, it’s not that simple, but for hyperbole’s sake. Drow BAD, other elves GOOD.
In Thedas? Elves BAD. Elves of the Dales? BAD and godless, savages the lot of them. City Elves? A burden on human society, honestly, why are they even here? Let’s bundle them into ghettos and strip them of practically all their rights, and sell them as slaves. That oughta teach ‘em.
What about mages, then?
Mages in Faerûn? Excellent! Scholars and sages and natural savants, they’re all good. Necromancers good, sorcerers good, everyone wants to know a capable mage for all those pesky Quests you want to go on. As long as you're not outright Evil, you're cool.
Mages in Thedas… Dangers to society, let’s strip them of all their rights, take them away from their families the moment their magic manifests and put them in Circle Towers - prisons where mages are kept under surveillance at all times, educated in the fields of magic, and if they don’t pass their final exam, they’re killed on the spot. Wouldn’t want one of them to be possessed by a demon, and turn into an Abomination. Oh, and if, for some reason, you don’t have the skills enough to control your magic, or your mind isn’t deemed strong enough to resist a demon’s influence, you can either opt for a magical lobotomy, or be subjected to it by Fantasy Catholic Church. Or, you know. They kill you ded.
(Dragon Age: the Veilguard scrubbed the lore a lot with regards to the oppression and systematic abuse of both mages, elves, and others. While I can appreciate why, I like keeping some of it intact in my fics, while retaining the Found Family vibes of the Veilguard companions)
So… what happens if a High Elf vampire spawn gets portalled into a world where actual vampires only exist in a few lore entries as being people possessed by hunger demons, and most recently as a single instance of party banter between Emmrich and another of the companions? Where the first bunch of people he encounters are all Basically Decent, and don’t assume he’s a cold-blooded murderer? Where the assassin of the team gets him blood from the butcher’s so he can join them at meal times. People actually ask for his input and help with stuff?
And, because this is a slash fic, what happens when our Outwardly Suave Dork Who Cannot Deal with Feels gets involved with the Respectful Genteel Necromancer of All the Big Feels and Romantic Gestures? Well...
So. Who are Emmrich and Astarion (and why should anyone care)?
Emmrich is the ‘gentleman necromancer’ of the Veilguard team. He’s a human mage and a scholar, 50 years old (according to data mined from the game), devoted to his Mourn Watcher duties. The Mourn Watch are a dedicated class of necromancers who tend to the dead, while safeguarding both them and the living. Mourn Watchers revere the dead, and take their jobs very seriously. Emmrich is also a corpse whisperer, which lets him speak to those who have passed. Emmrich also has an assistant and ward, called Manfred, a reanimated skeleton (assembled from donated parts) and imbued with a spirit of Curiosity.
Emmrich comes from a commoner background, and is currently at a stage in his life where he’s academically accomplished, renowned and wealthy, at the higher end of the social hierarchy, and he wants for almost nothing. But he’s got two major Things with a capital T that weigh on him: he suffers a fear of death like you wouldn’t believe; and he’s never found a love that lasts. His Major Choices have to do with facing his own mortality, or choosing to become an immortal guardian of the world. His Wound (emotional driving force) is losing his parents at a young age. When he feels wronged or cornered, he can be petty and cruel.
Emmrich is a Romantic. Capital R on that one, too. This is our man of Big Emotions. When he falls for someone, he plummets. He doesn’t just fall in love, he crashes - but of course, he’s old enough now that he’s outwardly composed about it. Naturally.
Astarion is a rogue and a charlatan; a vampire spawn formerly working as a magistrate in one of the largest cities of Faerûn, Baldur’s Gate - all while enslaved to a cruel master, the vampire who Sired him. Recently kidnapped by mind flayers and infected with a thousand-toothed tadpole that will turn him into a tentacled monster with aspirations of world domination, Astarion finds he can be out in the sun again. He can step into water, for the first time in two-hundred years. He can enter homes uninvited, he can think for himself, free of his master’s influence/mind control.
Astarion’s Wound, as it were, is the abuse of power, and has to deal with the abuse he’s suffered over the past two centuries. Depending on choices you make in the game, he can either begin to heal, or become more bent on revenge and accumulating power of his own.
I will die on the hill that is Astarion is a Dork who hides it well, but! He is charming when he wants to be, cunning, vindictive, and has Enormous Issues with Emotional Intimacy. He's snarky, sassy, flirty, and will absolutely use sex as a means to get into someone’s good graces, or to get the upper hand, attain status within a group, you name it. Not a problem. But Actual Feelings? Noooo.
Care, or don't, but I think it will be really neat to explore their different dynamics, but also dig into their diametrically opposed approaches to, and views on, love and intimacy.
Yeah. Astarion will resist any suggestion of Love (ugh) while Emmrich, of course, will crash… and burn? That’s the question, isn’t it? How to mesh their character motivations, Wounds, and let them have their Happily Ever After. All while telling a story that fits into the Veilguard plot.
Expect the usual from me: Dual POVs, Big Emotions, High Stakes, and ANGST.
i might be super late to the party but i was lurking in he tags and: i would LOVE some more explanation/in depth study of what was going on with Tommy and Finn, especially in the last season. I am still, not confused per es, but just wondering alot about some of the choices
This is so interesting, isn't it, particularly when you look at it comparing what 30yo Tommy says to 11yo Finn in S1 versus what 43yo Tommy says to 25yo Finn in S6.
I will warn this isn't coherent in ANY WAY as my infant is being grumpy, but here's a lump of things which struck me as worthy of indepth consideration:
-S1 Tommy telling Finn "don't be me" versus S6 where Tommy basically forces Finn to break his promise to his wife and drink, a mimicry of all the things Tommy has done (go abstinent, fall off the wagon, break promises to his wives).
-Finn being present at all the various violences the Shelby brothers commit, including as a child picking out his own machete (!!!) for one of the mob battles (think it was Epsom?); doing this well enough that he had a reputation -- Songbird Lady in S5 knew enough about the Shelbys to name her new Songbirds 'Tommy, Arthur and Finn'.
-Accidentally or deliberately, Tommy having set up Finn to develop Tommy's vices - cigarettes, drinking, drugs, whoring - pretty much all by the time Finn turned 16. But S5 Tommy nevertheless being very opposed to Finn developing Tommy's vice for violence and risk-tasking, albeit framed as 'we're too high in criminal hierarchy to do grunt work now' not 'you of all of us never have to risk yourself'
-Finn being involved in and integrated into all their illegal business but as a sort of free labour, gopher ('go for'/fetch like an apprentice, or a squire to a knight) - manning the door, bringing around the car, etc
-Finn seeming to hero-worship Tommy, but actually having a brotherly emotional relationship with Arthur. Tommy to emulate, Arthur to actually be a brother.
-Finn and Arthur being the only ones willing to entertain a conversation with their father on his return - Finn trusted Arthur not Tommy, Finn had no father figure, and Tommy did not fill this father figure space or Finn never would have gone with Arthur.
- Tommy brokering Arthur, John and Polly's marriages, and endorsing Ada's partnerships before the family accept them (and Tommy doing what he likes with his own marriages). Then, this way S6 Finn asks Tommy about marrying a girl 'who likes the life' and Tommy telling him no, 'find a girl who doesn't like the life'. And then Finn marries Mary with Tommy's endorsement to the family, and Mary tells Finn not to drink until after 6pm. I did wonder if Mary was the first girl, or was Mary a different girl that Tommy found/endorsed? Because Mary doesn't seem like a girl who likes the life if she's setting limitations on drinking time?
- Finn was effectively raised by Polly. The Shelby mother and father were gone by the time he was 1. Arthur and Tommy (and John) were gone to war by the time Finn was 5, and only returned at when he was 10. Finn had no father figure, ever.
---
So there's this odd push-pull where Finn is clearly one of the Bad Shelby Brothers, because at that time, having him integrated and present in their business was likely the best and easiest way to signify he was protected as well as keep an eye on him. They also used him very much like a squire to their knights, doing the labour and supportive chores and shitty jobs in order to learn the higher level jobs. But then those many conflicted occurances where it seems that Tommy wishes Finn wasn't so involved? Tommy wishes in many ways Finn was less invested in the business so Finn could be released from it? But maybe he doesn't, because Tommy in multiple circumstances challenges Finn with presentation of a vice and Finn always, always indulges -- even if that time, Tommy said don't rather than do?
---
Then we have this interesting symbolic thing happening in S6 between Duke and Finn and Tommy, all revolving around watches.
Duke steals Arthur's watch -- 'I can tell the time' - and in S5, Michael's supposed takeover piece has this strong sense of time -- time for the next generation to step up and time for old men like Tommy to step off the stage and Michael fully brings Finn into it (with Finn's consent/support, or unexpectedly??) and the camera focuses on Finn. So, linked to Michael's failed takeover via the motif of time, Duke can also tell it's time for the next generation, demonstrated by getting one over on ol' Arthur?
Then, Duke only believes Tommy is his father after Tommy explains about Duke's mum's watch that actually, Tommy stole in his youth; and Tommy's brought Duke into the fold so preciptiously because Tommy's (due to terminal diagnosis) running out of time to tidy up his family's loose ends and has to do this now. But also, Duke is symbolically returning time to Tommy that Tommy otherwise wouldn't have by bringing back Tommy's decades-old stolen watch?
Then Tommy has that explosion at Finn about drinking when he wants to and uses Finn's watch to make his point: that says Shelby and you're a Shelby so you tell the watch what time it is. Behind all that is this sense that I bet Tommy wishes he could control time, too, because he'd love to wind it back right now that his time is running out, but also, Finn is a young Shelby and could determine it's time for himself to step up if he simply stopped doing what Tommy kept telling him to do?
In a world where Tommy wasn't running out of time and/or Duke didn't appear, I imagine Finn may have been brought to one side for a quiet chat about Billy Grade and his role in Polly's death. I imagine Finn would have been absolutely destroyed that his sole true caretaker figure was dead because of his loose tongue. I imagine he would have killed Billy, or at least supported Billy being executed. But in this world, Tommy is dying and running out of time, and Tommy is delegating many of his painful tasks to others to do because he can't do everything right now, and why not test both Duke and Finn? Test this next generation as to their readiness to take his place? And who's left in the next generation but for Finn and Duke given Michael's proven himself unsuitable and Charlie is far too young? (I'm sure Uncle Charlie probably had some secret remit to re-home Duke if Duke failed in that scenario too)
---
And I also find it a super interesting parallel that Tommy forces Finn to demonstrate Shelby family loyalty by shooting his best friend, an act Tommy himself did with shooting Alfie for Alfie's betrayal that nearly killed Arthur. In this instance Arthur only almost died so Alfie only almost died - whereas Billy had to really fully die.
---
I mean, none of this gets to a satisfactory conclusion, it's just a bunch of conflicted threads/thoughts. I feel Tommy was vaguely treating Finn like a squire in a faint anticipation of one having Finn step up and take over the business from him, there's a near 20-year age gap between them, but Tommy was always conflicted by this because 1) he didn't really want his littlest brother to have to do the same shit he did, and 2) Finn was not leadership material, smart or cunning in any way, he was really just a consumer of the Shelby proceeds and always obeyed and never really acted to assert himself in the hierarchy. This faintest possibility of Finn taking over was then derailed heavily by Michael who was smart so Tommy dropped those vague unformed thoughts about Finn, but after Tommy knew Michael would be out of the picture in some way in S4 when suspicions start to rise? Finn starts to show up again in Tommy's arc in a very different way, and is put under various levels of pressure, right up to this S6 contrived scenario between Finn and Duke.
I get a sense that over time, Tommy challenged Finn repeatedly with situations of vice, corruption, conflict, difficulty, in the hope Finn would demonstrate enough strength to push back against Tommy instead of performing the vice. But Finn never did, and even when he fucked up, it was a silly mistake not worthy of any respect, not even in the way Michael is worthy of the respect of being killed; and so he is always framed in Tommy's mind as the weak one. There's a clannish behaviour (where clans are about constantly fluid status, not granted/earned and static rank) where you only get status if you behave in a way that already is of that status. Finn never, ever did this. Tommy then contrives a situation of extreme pressure as a last ditch effort to see if Finn will stop being that squire, weak one, or will he finally act according to the status he should be able to claim.
It's also this working class thing of dumping shit and abuse on your sons until your sons are strong enough to force you to stop. Finn's not a son, but that mentality...
---
I'm sorry this is so rambly, one of those fun things that it takes more time to be brief and succinct than just word-vomit on a screen XD Post S6, I have only two fic concepts in my to-write list, and one of them is 100% about Finn, trying to reconcile all of the above. I think Finn's actor did an amazing job of packing so much pain into that final scene it'd be a disappointment if any eventual movie doesn't give him a heavy arc.
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So I read this fascinating piece on how language shapes cultural thinking - and that got ME thinking - what kind of underlying thoughts would be in the Irken language?
In the Guugu Yimithirr language, all directions are fixed, not relative - North, South, East, and West. This leads to the mindset that the world does not revolve around them, but that they are just part of the larger world.
Now what would the Irken language be like?
I’m a nerd who LOVES languages and conlangs, and immediately, I knew what language would most represent the Irken mentality.
Klingon.
Harsh, gutteral, warlike, and most insults and compliments are focused on war and honor - and there’s a surprising amount of words for food preparation.
My obligatory I Voted picture! I usually don’t have one of these pics because I tend to vote absentee. But there was a clerical error/kerfuffle with both mine & Sis’ absentee ballots not coming for some reason, so by the time we got it sorted, it was too late. We ended up squeezing in our votes in-person between the drs & the dentist. Upside, I got a sticker this way and like, James Marsters (of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) is offering a personalized reply over on Twitter, to anyone who tweets their voting sticker selfie at him. I mean, I’ve met the man, that should be enough, but I don’t care, I’m tweeting my selfie at him anyways!
I have finally figured out that one of the reasons I have such a complex relationship with canonical storytelling is because even if I’m writing the most-AU of AUs, if it’s acknowledged somehow in the official storytelling, I am DOING WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO. I’m doing it RIGHT! (For the definition of right that means approved by an authority somewhere, despite my lack of interest in that authority, and the fact that mostly I’m making that authorities creations have a lot of sex and suffer beautifully, and in one unfinished case exist as llamas in a lodge in Wyoming, in which case they do not in anyway approve of what I’m doing. At least not officially.).
It’s not like I have a problem with writing OUTSIDE of canonical storytelling, but it’s a different relationship to the original text and one that makes me feel like I’m cheating somehow. Like I’m not going to be acknowledged as BEING RIGHT.
Which is to say, I both feel a deep and compelling need to never appear wrong in a public space and that drives a great deal of my behavior. And that I acknowledge that participating in a hobby that’s basically world-building someone else’s world is never going to be looked at as DOING IT RIGHT.
(All this is made more complicated by the fact that my favorite current pairing is canon in one sense, and can always be broken or undone, as can any ship, and is one that’s not particularly appreciated in fandom circles. Which makes me sad, I suppose. I should be immune to the worry. I’m not only a grown ass human, I suffered through X-Files until the bitter end. But I entered Farscape via a pairing and story that was not only canon, but canon done at least 90% right 90% of the time and that kind of largesse shapes a body.)
