"AMOR FATI I"
Noun; latin
Embrace and accept everything that happens in life, even if it is full of suffering. In which nothing is lost, especially if that something we seek is love.
.*'*. Main characters; ParkSunghoon × F`°Reader
.*'*. Genre; fantasy, pirate AU, enemies to lovers, semi-smut, forced proximity
.*'*. Triggers; mention of death, manipulation, psychological/physical violence, distrust
.*'*. ✒️ 1.720 ✒️
.*'*. Reading time; 7-8 min
.*'*. PS; Hi everyone! This is the first time I've brought my ideas to life through writing, I hope you enjoy the overall experience and let me know what you think. Also, English isn't my native language, so please forgive me for any mistakes or strange sentences :,). I didn't think I'd write much for the first time, so if you like and are intrigued by this story let me know! Thanks and happy reading!
...
The sun's rays made the sea waves bigger than they seemed, so much so that it even confused the sea breeze and forced various creatures to visit places they have never seen before.
The unknown is considered almost inhuman.
Ambiguous.
Painful.
But curiosity, many times without wanting to, contains more power than the mere fear of facing something you know nothing about.
And it is precisely for this reason that humans are destined to eternal suffering.
Or not?
"My Captain..."
The horizon seemed the only certainty among the original sins, those from which one usually prefers to escape rather than fight with all one's strength.
Those who make the possible impossible.
Destroying the only certainties created to lighten the human soul.
Although, most likely, humanity is capable of containing everything but the true essence of oneself.
"My Captain, the Prince has woken up"
A whisper of cold wind crept into the main cabinet, carrying the sting scent of the sea and the cold touch of a siren.
But when a pair of forbidding eyes looked up, remembering to fulfill one's duties, Hell seemed like a pretty reasonable choice.
Poseidon's divine hand didn't help lighten the atmosphere; on the contrary, the ship seemed to capsize at any moment. But this didn't bother those in charge, only increasing the untouchable and powerful aura that so terrified the crew.
The breathing alone gave them goosebumps.
For this reason, no one ever dared to cross her path, not even by pure chance.
And on those rare occasions when it was unavoidable to have to report to her, everyone hoped to emerge unscathed and to move up the timeline.
The presence of that woman was a condemnation.
"Can't you see I'm busy, Gregory?" The compass delicately traced a new path on the map, outlining a goal that would be communicated shortly.
"But Captain, you told me to-"
"Gregory"
Silence.
"Perhaps I wasn't clear..." the sound of the sumptuous wooden chair against the tiled floor was more reassuring than everything else. Without taking her eyes off the man, motionless and trembling in the doorway, she approached him with a slow but determined pace "I don't care what I said or didn't say to you. When I tell you it's not the time, you have to turn your ass around and go back to where you came from, mh?"
Gregory swallowed loudly and nodded repeatedly, unable to utter even a single sound.
He stumbled a couple of times before vanishing from her sight, muttering apologies incomprehensible even to himself.
"Today is not a good day," he communicated to his companions who were busy drinking secretly, as usual.
As if the Captain hadn't realized the humiliating performances, the nauseating smell, and the perpetually sleepy eyes of those slackers.
She just chose to let them do it.
Out of pure compassion.
Their clandestine life was already miserable in itself, how could she deny them the only thing that could lighten this burden?
Not that she did the same.
The heaviness and suffering made her feel something, even though it darkened her heart.
Life had to be lived as it was.
The storm was relentless, the cabin porthole flooding every time a wave crashed against the ship. And the memories of that day resurfaced in the Captain's mind.
"If the sun thou seekest to find,
Within thy soul thou must incline.
The storm awaits not hearts that haste,
Nor grants the hurried any grace.
Walk thou the path both true and right,
And great shalt be in fate's own sight;
Be thou weak or be thou strong,
Thy destined place shall thee belong."
Five years.
Five years have passed since the last words of the only person who brought her serenity and the desire to live life.
All because of a wrong accusation.
And above all because the King is an absolute prick.
Just like all those belonging to the royal house of Solarious.
The only thought about those scum made her want to throw herself deliberately to the sharks.
Without any exaggeration.
Not to mention the fact that one of them was in the ship's cells, looking his usual sophisticated, self-centered, arrogant, pretentious, lazy, spoiled, incompetent, and absolutely, absolutely horrendous self.
For God's sake.
A heavy sigh was unable to bring peace to the woman's distorted and continuous thoughts, still too focused on her revenge and discovery of this riddle very dear to her.
By good means or bad ones she would have succeeded, her reputation as "The Woman Who Stole Death" had to be maintained at all costs.
And the latter, death, had never stopped looking for her from the first day she set foot in the sea.
Perpetually surrounded by sinful souls who were waiting for nothing more than to devour her in the dead of night, as they always had.
This was pure and simple normality.
And she hated this feeling more than anything else.
She sprinted toward the ship's cells, looking straight ahead and ignoring the glances and bows of her men, who were taken aback by her sudden appearence.
She usually never deigned to be present on any occasion, except when expeditions required her supervision and infinite knowledge of land, sea, and sky.
But that didn't mean there was no shortage of stories told about her; on the contrary, her legends made even the strongest of men look like a little puppy. Not that she minded though. She almost found it funny that even men were afraid of her. Rather hilarious and satisfying.
However, no one, other than her crew, had ever seen her, even fleetingly.
Some claimed to have seen her tentacles because she was the daughter of David Jones, others claimed her eyes were as red as blood because the Devil himself sent her to earth to avenge his sins, and others said they had seen a despleasing old lady.
But all these rumors, besides bringing her a positive personal gain, were just... chatter.
And she wasn't interested in these worldly things in the slightest.
Slamming the door that led to the lower stairs, the woman began to descend heavily, her leather boots clattering on the creaking wood.
The clear glow of sunset was the first light to enter that room with the opening of the door, and with it the reflection of a man sitting with his back to the bars.
"Solarious Saejun" stood in front of the cell. "The party is over" The atmosphere darkened all at once, with words chanted between the teeth.
But nothing moved.
The man remained seated, completely ignoring the woman's words.
But the feeling of a phantom burning on his back like never before, started to feel a sense of weakness and almost resignation.
But pride was stronger.
"I ask you to forgive my men, they don't have... how do you say it? Fairy-touched hands?" The irony in her voice was enough to hide the pent-up anger.
And then, seeing no response, a kick to the cell bars made the room shake.
But not him.
Her breath became short, her jaw clenched, and her right hand gripped the golden sword tightly.
This piece of shit.
"Don't tell me Gregory cut out your tongue?" she crouched slightly, letting the Prince feel her breath against the back of his neck.
Sending shivers down his spine.
"Or..." the tip of the sword touched the man's shoulder blades. "Did he cut you something else?"
After these words, finally, the prisoner stood up suddenly and turned towards her, in the throes of a fit of... perhaps anger? Fear? Resentment? Offense?
And his eyes met hers.
Slowly, very slowly, the woman also rose to her feet, letting the rays of the dying sun kiss the side of her face.
A few seconds passed before either of them broke the bubble that kept them trapped and isolated from the rest of the world.
"And who the fuck are you?"
No, seriously... who the fuck was he?
Almost offended by the question, of course, the man frowned: "Solarious Sunghoon".
One step forward.
"I'm sorry, but it seems you have the wrong brother." Sunghoon's tone was shrouded in mockery and irony. "You should be..." he put a finger to his chin, narrowing his eyes slightly. "I don't think I've ever seen you, otherwise I would have definitely remembered." a grin spread across his face, making the woman's stomach turn while still looking for a logical explanation for this enormius mistake.
Without even looking at him, she crawled away, turned, ran up the stairs, and stormed straight to Gregory, the vice-captain.
The poor guy was just finishing tidying up the kitchen, as it was his turn to cook dinner, and he found himself slammed against the stove and left with pots and pans to wash again.
“Who is the Prince you were referring to, Gregory?” She was trying her hardest not to strangle him right then and there.
"S-Sunghoon, P-P-Prince Sunghoon"
The calm that had been well protected by force until then was shattered by a bloodcurdling scream from the captain.
“NO” she released his grip on the man, trying to contain the killer instinct that threatened to come out.
She had been so clear that night in her intent to kidnap the King's firstborn son that she had even drawn the key steps and the man's face on a piece of paper, making use of her artistic skills, however limited.
She had obviously not actively participated in the execution of this plan for fear of being seen.
But she never thought her crew would be this...
This...
Stupidly incompetent.
"You are useless...USELESS" it took little, however, to calm down.
She had to think rationally if she wanted to try to solve this disaster. And anger only blinded her mind.
She closed her eyes for an instant, bringing a hand to her temple, feeling the vein pulsating incessantly.
The only mistake was Gregory's lack of tact. "My captain, just bring this one back and capture the other one..." but she cut him off before he could continue with his imbecile speech.
"Oh yeah? And what if Solarious Sunghoon tells the King everything? Will we get arrested? Just when we've reached the peak of our careers? Tell me, are you stupid?"
She took a deep breath. "We'll kill him tomorrow morning."
The coldness and detachment with which these words came from her mouth were shocking. Despite all these years in her presence, neither Gregory nor the other crew members had yet grown accustomed to all this.
As if all this were normal for her.
Of course, life as a pirate brought risks and sins, but death was too big of a concept even for those who lived it every day.
Feeling the eyes on her, the woman couldn't pretend she didn't notice. "What's the matter, Gregory? Something's wrong?" The slowness with which she touched the dagger of her sword raised goosebumps. The fifty-year-old shook his head quickly, bringing a certain satisfaction to his captain. "Good, because this is all your fault."
And she left, leaving behind her a black trail that was hard to forget.
That same night, she and Sunghoon were missing in the arms of Morpheus.
The first one who could never sleep because of the many nightmares engraved in her mind.
She had seen too much.
Heard the unbelievable.
And that was the price she had to pay.
A life full of darkness and pain.
Left completely alone to fight with herself.
On the other hand, Sunghoon couldn't find peace because he thought about the woman's breath on his neck ealier.
So cold.
So sharp.
So intimate.
Not in an explicitly corporeal vision.
But as if he missed that feeling.
As if the pirate's soul had begun to dance with his.
But Stockholm syndrome wasn't something he aspired to.
How could he even think such a thing when they'd literally met that day, and for only five minutes? With a sword stuck in his back and her unmatchable likeability that would make even the most skilled court jester envious?
Of course he couldn't.
After all, a Prince like him could not fall so low.
Right?
His life had already been perfectly planned.
Although he was the second-born, the King had already decided to marry him to the third daughter of the King of a neighboring kingdom, for purely political reasons, of course. He would bear a son and carry on the Solarious dynasty flawlessly.
He would have made his father proud.
For this reason he could not afford to make mistakes.
Even though this wasn't what he wanted.
But his wishes didn't matter.
His desire to learn this strange way of walking on ice in those ankle-high boots with knives for soles, how fascinating he found the traditional clothes of the other Kingdoms of the world when he observed them from afar during the Royal Balls, the salivation that assailed him every time he walked through the village streets, his sense of smell intercepting odors before he could see them but which he had to ignore due to royal protocol.
But most of all, he craved his freedom.
Sure, compared to his older brother, he had the privilege of being able to do a few more things, but the pressure and constant supervision were starting to tire him.
But he wasn't ungrateful at all.
He knew that being born under the great star was the fortune of the few and so the last thing he could do was complain.
But all things have their positive and negative sides.
And, as far as he's concerned, there were many more cons.
Including the almost complete lack of approval and emotional support from his father.
The Great King.
The one everyone loves and reveres.
Always available and interested in the well-being of his people.
What a load of bullshit.
No one knows how many times their beloved King has shamelessly lied to save face.
How his selfishness is mistaken for hypergoodism.
Not only with his subjects.
Even with his own family.
Unfulfilled promises, constant and unjustified threats, derision, false hopes.
And Sunghoon couldn't help but feel caged.
In the wrong place.
And he hated this feeling more than anything else.
With these thoughts, even in the most uncomfortable and humiliating of situations, he closed his eyes.
Not knowing that the next day he would be devoured by sharks, preferably white ones.
Just as the night hid the most hidden secrets of all, the day made sure that these were revealed, even though in very subtle ways.
The task of deciphering them was in the hands of those who felt ready to face the consequences.
And opening his eyes, Sunghoon found two icy eyes just inches from his face.
That pair of eyes.
But he remained unfazed.
"Good morning, my lady," he murmured in a voice still thick with sleep, but he didn't move.
Unable to explain why, he almost liked that position.
Feeling that closeness he had been longing for just a few hours before.
"Be careful, little prince" there she was "I wouldn't go too far without knowing the person in front of you, don't you think so?"
The grip on his shirt collar tightened.
That's why he preferred not to move, he didn't want to suffocate.
Not that he really minded in that specific moment...
He raised his hands in surrender. "Forgive me, I'm just not used to having a woman so close to me as soon as I wake up. And one who wants to strangle me, moreover " They both began to sweat slightly. "I haven't reached that level of perversion yet, but if you're willing to change my mind..."
The captain couldn't believe those words.
The prince's boldness far surpassed that of any man she had ever known.
And not in a good way.
But she decided to play along, just for the sake of getting him excited before killing him.
Last moment of glory, that is.
This is why women are the ones who have the real power.
"I don't think it's appropriate for someone like me..." she straddle him and pull him closer, completely eliminating every inch of distance that kept them apart "...to teach you these things. They go against royal protocol" she whispered deeply, watching him carefully.
Really looking at him.
His skin was so pale it resembled moonlight in complete contrast to the warm temperature he radiated.
A delicate neck for a single cut just like swans.
The nose perfectly straight but able to almost touch hers despite the couple of centimetres of distance.
The eyes that at this moment were busy doing the same thing she was doing.
Studying her.
Looking her.
Perceiving her.
The parted lips were probably hoping for something more.
But what most caught her eyes were the moles.
Drawn on his face as if they were constellations to be deciphered.
One on the left side of the nose, two on the right cheek and a small one near the chin.
Without realizing it, she found herself enchanted by watching them, and Sunghoon sensed that.
Because, in the same way, he was breathless when he noticed how the sunlight made her brighter and more enchanting than the great star itself.
With the only exception that he could look at her as long as he wanted, without looking away for fear of going blind.
"Oh? If you know royal protocol, you should know the Parlè too."
"Why? Are you asking for amends, little prince?"
"not exactly..." he breathed near the woman's mouth "...my lady".
That teasing was enough to make her lose her patience.
She quickly approached him, swinging the golden sword at his jugular, pulling his long, raven hair back, exposing his weakness spot.
"If you really want to be this charming" a drop of blood began to fall. "I think sharks are willing to listen to your bullshits."
"Oh yeah?" he continued to act cocky.
"Yes"
"It's a shame I like it here then"
His answer came suddenly, before he could even process it himself.
Not that he was afraid of dying.
What he feared most was never seeing her again.
Not in that impossible, immensely in love way, because he wasn't.
Yet.
But because with her he didn't have to pretend.
He didn't have to pay attention to any rules.
He felt... free.
Even under these conditions.
"I'm sure the mermaids will be more than happy to meet you, you'll like it there too." As usual, the woman's cold, detached tone left no room for false hopes.
"Are you speaking from experience?"
"No, luckily I haven't seen many swordfish." She loosened her grip, making space clear between them.
The mark on his neck caused by the weapon brought her a sense of satisfaction and enjoyment like never before.
But she couldn't help but wonder if it would hurt.
But she quickly chased that thought away.
Why would she ever think such a thing.
She had never cared about anyone, not even the men of her crew.
Why would she do that for someone she didn't even know, and who she had kidnapped by mistake.
And, honestly, it wasn't the time for second thoughts.
“Gregory,” she shouted, but not excessively, causing the man in question to immediately jump, almost falling down the wooden stairs.
What a shame!
"Tie him up and take him to port"
With those last words, the woman vanished from the prince's sight completely, creating a sinking feeling in his stomach.
And not only that.
The impact with the light initially caused him some discomfort, but then he began to focus on the situation.
About ten men were present, never taking their eyes off the day's catch.
Not wanting to miss a second of the fun.
But there was no trace of who the Prince was looking for.
Not knowing that the woman had actually taken refuge in her cabin, away from everything and everyone, because of an intense pain in her chest she couldn't explain.
Her breathing was heavy.
Sweat was starting to break out on her forehead.
The legs began to give way, falling to the floor.
What was happening?
"I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME"
That voice.
"AND I KNOW YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME"
And so it was.
"KILL ME, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, BUT IF IT'S MY BROTHER YOU WANT, YOU NEED MY HELP"
The woman's gaze flicked to the closed door, paying full attention to those words.
"YOU NEED ME"
She needed him.
As if the pain had never been there, because it actually wasn't there anymore, she ran out of the cabin, throwing the door open with incredible speed.
If she was going to achieve her goal, she would do everything to succeed.
But all that stood before her was the fall of Sunghoon.
Her gaze met his, feeling a sense of regret and agitation she had never felt in all these years, and as if her legs had a life of their own, she ran to the deck of the ship.
But it was too late.
Sunghoon had been swallowed by the sea.
And with him also the realization that, perhaps, the unexpected was part of life.
And that life, many times, gave you things you didn't even know you needed.
✧ ─────────────────────────────────────────────────── ✧
