#familyanswer

Hey. 

I know it can be scary to open up to someone about how you’re feeling and it is easy to focus on what might go wrong, but for every possible bad reaction there are three good ones. Don’t focus too much on what happens afterward, just put your mind to actually telling them first.

Here are some Asks from our Answers Directory(link) that may help:

What do I do if I think I have AvPD? 

How do I tell someone that I have AvPD?

I’m afraid of bringing up AvPD, but I still want help?

To receive a diagnosis, you don’t need to go to a hospital specifically, in fact a hospital may send you to a clinic or counselling service instead since hospitals are usually for people experiencing an emergency or crisis. Here is another helpful link with information about different ways to seek treatment:

How do I get a diagnosis and/or treatment? 

Hey there. 

I’m so glad that you have decided that you want to see a therapist. That’s an honorable decision, one you probably didn’t make lightly so good for you. 

Below is a link that may help you share how you’re feeling: 

How do I tell someone that I have AvPD?

Let us know if you have more questions!

Hello.

Please remember that AvPD Community does not provide crisis support. If you are facing a crisis or urgent issue, please refer to our Crisis Support page for external providers or call emergency services in your area.

I’m sorry to hear you’re having a rough time. It sounds as though you are really struggling. It’s great to hear that you have support from your datemate.

Have you considered talking to a mental health professional? I highly suggest that you do. They can support you through tough times in a safe environment and teach you ways to minimize and cope with your symptoms.

I assume you are in high school or college so a guidance counselor would be available through your school. You can also talk to your family doctor. We have a guide in our Answe Directory with a list of ways to access therapy. It would be a good idea to include your datemate in this process to as having a support network is very important.

In the meantime, check out our Self Help page for resources about panic attacks, avoidance, and self care to name a few.

If you’re a minor, it may be difficult to be diagnosed with a PD, depending on your exact age. While your personality is developing for your entire life, your brain itself is still growing when you’re young, which is why psychologists are often hesitant in diagnosing minors.

However, that doesn’t mean you won’t benefit from seeking help from a professional. Regardless of what diagnosis you receive, if you feel that you are mentally unwell, then getting help is the right thing to do.

Talking to your paediatrician is a good next step. They will be able to refer you to a psychologist. Explain what you’ve been experiencing, and your doctor should be able to recommend a therapist who has experience with avoidance and anxiety. If you find that you do not get along with the therapist your doctor refers you too, then it’s okay to go back and ask for another referral to a different therapist.

I would recommend trying to talk to your parents again. It may be more useful to avoid discussing specific diagnoses. I only say this because parents can be resistant to giving their children stigmatised labels. Explain what you’ve been feeling, and that you’d like to see someone about it. However, if they continue not to take you seriously, then you might have to work it out on your own. If they will not help you with payment for the therapy either, talk to your doctor about this, as they may know a psychologist who charges less for people in your situation.

I also recommend checking out our answered asks about therapy(x), in case there’s more info there that could help you.

I wish you luck in your recovery!

Hi there.

As someone who has realised the toxicity of her own family by living away from them, I can understand the anxiety being put back in a family situation can cause.

The best thing you can do is to remind yourself that this is not a permanent situation. It is only a holiday, and when it’s over you can go back home and continue to interact with them as much or as little as you want.

Some things that might be helpful:

Try and spend some time on your own. Whether it’s going for a solo walk, going off on your own during a shopping trip, splitting up from the group when you’re out, using the hotel gym or pool alone… Stuff like that can help you reset.

It’s okay if you need to rest. If you’re overwhelmed, it’s okay to stay in your hotel room/bedroom/cabin/etc. while everyone else goes out.

Doing things like reading a book, drawing, writing, etc. while relaxing at the beach or by a pool or in a park are generally acceptable holiday activities, and gives you a chance to disengage and focus on something you enjoy.

You could take an afternoon off to photograph things around where you’re staying, even if it’s just with your phone. If you’re spending a lot of time finding good shots and setting them up, people are probably going to want to go off and do their own thing and leave you alone for awhile.

Those are just some suggestions! If anyone has any more, please feel free to reblog and add them!

We also have our self-help page(x) that has resources for managing anxiety and stress.

I hope that helps!

i hate asking for appointments because i hate feeling like a burden and if there IS something wrong, i'm scared i'll get told im too reckless (im a natural unlucky klutz) and that im taking advantage of my dad's insurance, that 'what if *I* had to pay for it, etc etc, which has lead me to avoiding important visits such as psychiatry (expense and 'being a burden') and going to the dentist (expense and the fact bad teeth in my family are hereditary)... advice?

I mean, insurance is there for a reason, and it wouldn’t be fair for your guardians to use that against you. You are their child, it’s a part of their expenses to take care of you. Which includes making sure you can see. If you broke your glasses out of ‘being a reckless kid’, which I’m sure you aren’t, that is literally why insurance is there. So that wouldn’t be a fair reaction on their part. 

Most fixes on glasses aren’t that expensive. If your lenses are in tact, fixing the frame really won’t be a huge monetary thing, as far as I know. Buying actual frames are expensive, but fixes aren’t so much. 

Also, I really don’t think you should continue avoiding your other health needs. It is best to deal with dental needs when you’re young and under insurance; it will be a lot worse when you don’t have it. Try to approach them about these things if you can. I think it would be better for you in the long run, even if you do have to deal with them being snooty about it.

You aren’t a burden for being a person with health needs. They should be doing these things without you having to ask, honestly.

Hey again.

If you’re staying in a hotel, you can definitely explore it on your own. Larger hotels especially usually have other facilities that you’re free to use while you stay. even if you have no intention of using them you can still check them out. 

Also since you’ll be in a city, I’m sure there will be shops and sights close by that you could walk to also. When I went on a holiday to Sydney, my hotel was near one of the harbours and I liked to sit and watch the water and people (there were loads of restaurants and bars either side) when I had nothing else to do. So that’s another thing. You can also bury yourself in a good book if you like reading (also a good activity for if you’re are flying there). 

If your parents suggest to do something that maybe you don’t want then could tell them that they can do it on their own without you. Like, give them their own space to do things together and in return, you’ll get your space. Maybe encourage them to go out to dinner and you stay in the hotel room. 

If you took spending money and allocated time for shopping, that’s also something you can do on your own. You can just split up for a couple of hours and meet back at a certain spot so no one gets lost. You can also say that you wanted to look for a gift or souvenir if nothing else. 

Hey. I remember answering a message similar to this one ages ago. I’ll see if I can find it.. Could not find it after ten minutes of searching. Anyway..

If the trip is only for a couple of days, then time is your friend. If there’s situation that you’re in that makes you uncomfortable but you cannot get out of it, tell yourself it’s only for a couple of days. This exposure to uncomfortable situations obviously isn’t going to feel great in the moment, but it is good for you to get out of your comfort zone and experience new things every once in a while.  

Of course though, everybody needs their alone time. The first thing that comes to mind is spend extra time in the bathroom. Take your time having a nice hot shower, play music if that appeals to you. Sit in the nice steamy room for a while afterwards. Bathrooms are universally accepted private spaces so take advantage. If there’s ever an opportunity to break off from the group, go ahead- just make sure people know where you are. 

If you could tell me what type of trip you’re going on/where you’re going, I could give less generic answers. The previous ask I was looking for was a person asking about going on a cruise.