#fallingprincess

Christmas was all around you. Decorations were hanging everywhere you went, people overcrowded the streets with their hands full of bags, still shopping for presents, and you could hear All I want for Christmas is you or Baby it’s could outside in every shop, café, even in your workplace and in your apartment, coming from your neighbours’ place.

It was a downright nightmare.

You hated it, and so you had been in a bad mood since the beginning of December.

To be fair, it wasn’t that you hated Christmas per se.

Actually, you loved it when you had the chance to spend it with your family and go all out, hanging mistletoe everywhere in your house and putting a massive tree up in your living room, drinking hot chocolate and blasting Michael Bublé’s entire discography at all hours of the day. Yes, you were just like all those Christmas-crazed people in the streets you had almost yelled at.

But this year… everything had changed. You had moved to another country, and that meant that you didn’t get to see your family during the holidays, and that already put you in a bad mood. Add to that the fact that even though it was the holidays you were going to work most days, because you needed as much money as possible to pay your rent, and that you hadn’t met more than a couple people since moving, and it all explained why you were acting like the Grinch.

You couldn’t help it, really. You wished you could spend the holidays being carefree and light-hearted, but it was all so much… you felt overwhelmed.

Having responsibilities really sucks, you thought while retrieving your small apartment’s keys from the pocket to open the door.

In that very moment your phone started to ring.

-One moment, just one fucking moment!-you yelled, as if whoever was calling you could hear you.

It probably was an advertisement call, or your boss telling you that you had to cover someone’s shifts.

When you saw the caller ID, your eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Lucy. She was a coworker, a fun girl you really enjoyed talking to in between shifts or during breaks, but you still weren’t so close that you would dare to call her a friend. Even though the relationship you had with her was probably the closest thing to a friendship you had made since moving in that goddamn place called England.

You answered, curious as to why she was calling you. You had never talked on the phone, nor you had exchanged texts.

-y/n! Fucking finally!-she said with a laugh. You could hear other people talking in the background, as well as music. Needless to say-a Christmas song.

-Sorry, I was opening the door…-you replied, a little embarassed.

-Oh, it’s okay. Don’t worry. I was calling to invite you to the fucking-best-Christmas-Eve-party eveeeer!

She had sung the last part, and you heard whoever was with her laughing and mocking her.

-Oh yeah, she’s definitely coming after that stunt-said a deep voice, while another added:-Sorry if I tell you this, Luce, but singing is not your greatest skill.

You thought for a moment. Why was she inviting you? You weren’t even that close… and she was clearly in good company already. Was it out of pity?

-Listen, Lucy, thanks for the offer, really, I appreciate it, but I’m really tired, so I think I’ll just get in bed really early…

She interrupted you mid-speech:-Oh, stop already with that, Grumpy! Come on, you’ll have fun. My friends want to meet girls and at first I got really offended because they have me and don’t appreciate me enough, but then I thought that they would really like my amazing coworker. So just come… please?

Despite everything, you found yourself smiling.

Maybe… it wasn’t a bad idea, after all?

You had just got home from a shift, and your next one was tomorrow afternoon. You had plenty of time to stay home nursing a hangover in case things got a little too crazy at that party… for fuck’s sake, you deserved some fun.

-Yes, Lucy. I’m coming.

-Yesss! I’ll text you the address. Come as soon as you can.

Maybe your Christmas was going to be a little less shitty than you originally thought.

 You got out of the uber, trying to find balance on your heels. You had been trying to find the right outfit for what felt like forever, finally opting for a simple red dress that showed your shoulders, elegant but not too much. Then you had put on a layer of mascara and a coat of lipstick.

You didn’t want to look like you had put too much effort into it, even though it was the first social event you were attending since moving to England.

You approached Lucy’s building and quickly got in, feeling a little nervous as you found the right floor and rang the bell over the tag that said Boynton.

The door opened and you found yourself in front of a guy with blond hair and the most striking blue eyes you had ever seen. He was tall and quite muscular, but he was wearing the most obnoxious Christmas jumper you had ever seen, red and green with little Santas in different positions all over it.

-Nice jumper-you grinned.

He immediately blushed at your words.

-I’m Ben, and I don’t usually wear clothes this ugly, I swear-he said-you must be y/n.

You shook hands and you felt a shiver go through your body at the contact… who knew Lucy had such attractive friends?

When you walked through the door, you were welcomed with the smell of baked cookies and the view of Lucy sprawled across a couch with another guy, plus Ben who had just joined them.

-y/n!-Lucy yelled-come here, join us, I want you to meet everyone!

You sat with them and the guy introduced himself as Rami. He seemed quiet but fun, and he and Lucy were quite the pair, him all silent and her screaming at the top of her lungs.

-Sorry for her, when she drinks she always gets like this…-Rami explained to you with a smile.

-I didn’t drink anything! Stop saying bad things about me, you meanies-she retorted with a pout, then she hugged Rami and put her head on his chest.

Ben gave you a meaningful look and stretched you his hand to take:-Why don’t we go see what Joe and Gwil are doing, y/n?

You took his hand and he led you to the kitchen just around the corner, where two other men seemed busy with a tray of gingerbread. Ben’s hand left yours, and you had to stop yourself from reaching for it again. It had felt so warm…

-y/n, you are here! Come taste our cookies-said the shorter man of the two, who had reddish brown hair, with an American accent.

You felt kinda dizzy for a moment, realizing that in only five minutes you had had more social interactions than you had in months.

You smiled and took a cookie from the tray.

 -These things you baked… what the fuck are them?

Ben’s question caused Gwilym and Joe’s immediate indignation: the tall Welshman you had met in the kitchen flipped him off, while the other man blew him a raspberry.

You just laughed at their shenanigans.

The four of you were sitting on the living room floor, on the carpet right next to the Christmas tree, sipping hot chocolate and eating gingerbread cookies. Rami and Lucy were on the couch engulfed in each other’s arms, their eyes closed but not quite asleep yet.

-Really, were they supposed to be gingerbread men? This one I’m eating looks more like a rugby ball.

-Shut up. y/n likes them. Don’t you, y/n?

You nodded exaggeratedly at Joe’s question.

-Yes. They are perfect. Don’t listen to this one, he’s just mean-you said, gesturing to the blond man sitting right next to you.

At your words, Ben’s mouth gaped.

-Et tu, Brute?

You shrugged and showed him your tongue.

-I thought you were on my side-he pouted.

-Aw, but I am, you poor thing-you replied sarcastically, but you couldn’t help but smile at his petulant expression.

-Doesn’t seem like it.

You comforted him with a caress to his shoulder, and out of the corner of your eye you saw Gwilym and Joe exchanging a glance and smirking.

You felt your face heat up.

Was it that obvious that you were really flirting with him? But most importantly, was he flirting back?

-So, are they… a thing?-you said out of the blue pointing to Lucy and Rami, trying to divert the general attention from you and Ben.

-Not officially. They are making us suffer so much, for fuck’s sake. It’s so obvious that they are into each other, but first there’s Lucy coming to us worried that Rami doesn’t like her back, then Rami calls me and says he’s sure Lucy doesn’t like him like that. It’s like being back in middle school, Christ-Gwilym answered, his eyes rolling up to the ceiling.

-And you, y/n? Do you have someone special, a boyfriend, girlfriend?-Ben asked you nonchalantly.

-Oh, no. I moved here just a few months ago… I barely have any time to eat or sleep, left alone to find a boyfriend-you said, a little embarassed.

-And no one’s tried to make a move on you? Wow.

You didn’t know what to answer to that, so you just chuckled lightly. So he was flirting back with you.

-Ben, why don’t you show y/n the balcony? Gwil and I will go make some other cookies, since you ate all of them-Joe said, getting up and heading to the kitchen with the other man.

-Shall we go?-Ben asked you, extending you his hand.

You took a deep breath and took it, nodding.

 -Pretty, isn’t it?-Ben asked you.

You were on the small balcony of Lucy’s house, looking down at the park just across from it.

-I mean, it’s not the greatest view, but it’s really rare to find a house with a balcony in London-he added right after.

You nodded and leaned against the white wall next to you, closing your eyes and enjoying the cold air of the night against your face.

Then you let it all go.

-Tonight seems so crazy to me. I hadn’t been around people like this in so much time… I only worked and studied, and barely took care of myself. Hanging with you guys made me realize that this is all real… I really moved and my life is continuously changing every day. And I’m so fucking terrified.

He turned and looked at you, but remained silent.

-This is all such a cliché-you laughed then. The whole situation seemed absurd.

He looked startled at you.

-What is?

-Everything. Me, my life right now, you flirting with me and taking me out to show me the balcony… I thought you would use a better excuse to get me alone, to be honest.

He snorted at your words.

-This was all Joe’s doing, actually. He tries to be a good wingman, but I would do much better on my own. Is it working, by the way?

-What?

-Me flirting with you.

You felt butterflies fluttering in your stomach but tried to hide it with a snarky smirk.

-Oh… I’ll have to think about it. Try harder, maybe?

He rolled his eyes, then his face became serious and he took your hand into his gently, giving you time and space to retract it if you wanted. You didn’t.

-And about what you said… I get it. Moving away from home is scary and hard, and you are a hero for enduring it all on your own for so much time. But you don’t have to figure it all out alone. We are all ready to help you if you want. Lucy, Rami, Joe, Gwil and me, of course. I can be your friend, before we try to be anything else, if you want to.

-Wow, I… Thank you.

You were at a loss of words, and you could feel your eyes welling up with tears. Don’t cry, don’t fucking cry now, you told yourself.

You hadn’t realized how difficult it all had become to do everything on your own and not have anyone to share your daily life with, and now you were feeling all the weight you hadn’t even known was on your shoulders leaving you, and the sense of relief was amazing. You didn’t have to do it all alone. Thanks God.

Before you could say anything else you felt loud cheers coming from inside the house, and then someone put on Mariah Carey’s All I want for Christmas is you.

Ugh, cheesy Christmas songs. Maybe you could start to like them again, after all.

-Looks like it’s midnight. Merry Christmas, y/n.

You smiled at Ben. Then you did something that surprised even yourself: you got closer to him, so close that you could feel his breath on your face, and gently put your lips against his.

He immediately responded to the kiss, putting his hands on your middle.

It was quick and sweet, just a brush of lips against lips.

When you pulled away, you both had your cheeks red.

-Merry Christmas, Ben-you whispered.

Furrowing your eyebrows Joe and you exchanged a meaningful glance before you both focused back on a clearly drunken Ben.

“Considering we are both not in a relationship at the moment, I would say nobody.” Joe took over the answering part and you nodded along, a laugh still playing around your lips. This was probably the most Ben thing he could have asked. Of all the people in Gwil’s apartment your guess definitely would have been on Ben for that one.

“See, but Gwil is kissing his girlfriend. And Rami and Lucy are gonna kiss. And we should also kiss someone. It’s good luck.” Ben kept on explaining, each word louder and more slurred than the previous one.

You tried your hardest not to burst into laughter by biting your lip when he once again fell a step backwards catching himself on the kitchen counter just in time.

“How about drinking some water, Ben?” You were already on your way and grabbed a glass from one of the kitchen cabinets to fill it up at the sink. “Here. Can you drink this for me?”

One finger raised he accepted the glass shakily and then tapped your nose. “But only for you.”

Joe groaned in frustration and you turned to face him. “What are you so upset about?”

“You can laugh all you want.” he sighed while running a finger through his soft hair. “But I am the one sleeping in the guest room with him tonight.”

You giggled again, the few champagne glasses had gotten to your head on a comfortable level, and eyed Ben warily out of the corner of your eye. “He’ll be fine. It’s still a long way to go until then. He just needs to drink more water. Right, Ben?”

A hazy look on his face his attention snapped back to you with the mention of his name and he just poked his tongue out while he stared at his glass in concentration.

Maybe he wouldn’t be fine. But that’s why Joe was his best friend, right?

**

11:24 p.m.

“Look who has returned from the dead!” you announced when you saw Ben find his way onto the little balcony you were currently getting some fresh air on with your friend Alexa. “How are you feeling?”

After several attempts to get him to drink more water, Joe had finally put him down for a nap like a little baby and it seemed to have worked. Ben looked a lot more awake and a lot less drunk.

The emphasis – however – laid on looked, because as soon as he almost tripped over his own feet and his arm slung around your shoulder to steady himself you were well aware that not much had changed.

“I’m great.” he grinned and it looked weirdly adorable. “Listen, who are you guys kissing at midnight?”

You sighed heavily. “Ben, we had this conversation earlier.”

His brows rose whilst he glanced at you suspiciously. “We did?”

You nodded firmly and placed a hand against his side to stop him from losing his balance.

“Well, who are you kissing then?”

You laughed as you shook your head. “No one. Come on, love, we are getting you some more water.” You threw Alexa an apologetic look and then pushed Ben inside before guiding him towards the kitchen by his hips.

“There you go. Empty this.” You pushed the glass against his hands impatiently.

He once again followed order with a sheepish grin on his face while he hopped from one foot to the other. “So you are not kissing anyone at midnight?”

You half snorted half smirked and then refilled his water glass. “No.”

“I feel like we all should kiss someone at midnight.”

Your tongue pressed against the inside of your cheek you burst out into laughter. “Like I said, we had this conversation before, Ben.”

He held up his hands in defense, almost spilling the water in his hand everywhere in the process. “I’m just saying.”

You checked the watch on your phone and then put it back in your jeans pocket before you focused back on Ben’s slightly more steady form. “I think I’m gonna go pee. It’s only fifteen minutes until midnight. Are you okay here by yourself?”

He nodded in confirmation although you didn’t quite believe him and you refilled his water glass one last time before heading out of the kitchen. Fuck it. You were neither his girlfriend nor his mum and this was most definitely not your responsibility. You had been Lucy’s friend first and then grown close to Joe; Ben had just always kind of been there, you really hadn’t had much chance than to become his friend.

And it wasn’t that you didn’t like him. He was lovely of course, but – well – he was just Ben.

**

23:58 p.m.

You were all outside now ready to watch the fireworks go off in the New York night sky, filled champagne glasses prepared for midnight in everyone’s hands.

You were chatting with Joe, every now and then taking a glance at your phone’s clock, when once again Ben appeared in between the two of you.

“Almost midnight!” he smiled with excitement present in his voice and you threw Joe a meaningful glance. “Are you guys kissing each other at midnight?”

“Ben, what is it with you and your stupid midnight kiss?” Joe asked with an amused laugh right as the others began the countdown to midnight.

Ten

Nine

“I just think it would be nice!” Ben explained messily, his voice turning more and more into a frustrated whine.

Seven

Six

Joe snorted. “That’s ridiculous, man.”

Four

Three

“I just want someone to kiss me! Someone just fucking kiss me!”

Two

One

With a groan you grasped the front of his shirt and pulled him towards you violently to press your lips firmly onto his just in time with the fireworks illuminating the sky with a bang in all colors of the rainbow.

“There.” you laughed when you pushed him back onto his own feet while examining the puzzled look on his face with a smirk. “Happy New Year, Ben.”

**

3:02 a.m.

“Are you awake?” The voice was very close to your ear and you snapped your eyes open instantly just to be greeted with Ben’s nose directly in front of your face, his eyes piercing into yours from a way too close proximity.

You sat up, careful not to scream in shock since the other people in Gwil’s living room seemed to still be asleep. “Ben, what the fuck?!”

“I can’t sleep.” he whisper yelled and you sighed silently while getting up and pulling your blanket around your shoulders like a cape.

You gripped Ben’s wrist with one hand and then pulled him with you into the kitchen, quietly closing the door behind the two of you to not wake up the entire freaking apartment. This was really not your responsibility.

“Everything is a bit dizzy.” he continued his explanation and leaned against one of the counters heavily.

You rolled your eyes while stifling a yawn against a corner of the blanket. “I wonder why.”

“Since I can’t sleep and you are awake-“

“I wasn’t.” you cut in angrily, but he just kept going as if nothing had happened.

“I thought I could use the chance to thank you for kissing me at midnight.”

You laughed a little too loudly and quickly tried to silence the sound with your hand. “You were being annoying.”

“Well I was very surprised when that happened.” Was he even listening to you? Because it sure as hell did not seem like it at all. He was basically having this conversation with himself.

“I noticed.” you remarked anyway and couldn’t stop another yawn from leaving your mouth.

His eyes were drawn towards your moving lips and he blinked a few times before composing himself. “And since I couldn’t enjoy it properly I am suggesting a do-over for our midnight kiss.”

Your brain needed a second to process his words and once it did you just studied him in confusion, your eyes narrowed. “What?”

“It’s only logical.” he explained in exasperation and threw on a show to walk towards you dramatically before cornering you between the counter and his taller body.

You peeked up at him, your blanket still tightly and protectively wrapped around your shoulders. “I don’t think you are in any state to judge what’s logical and what’s not right now.”

“Well.” he smirked, his voice now dropped an octave lower as his hands made their way under your blanket and shirt to settle against the naked skin of your waist. “Then it’s not a logical suggestion but a formal request for a do-over kiss.”

You involuntarily giggled against his chest when his thumbs began running ticklish circles onto the sides of your stomach. He really was a charmer, wasn’t he? There could have been worse people your half tipsy and highly sleep deprived self could have been in a kitchen with at three in the morning.

You sighed dramatically although not necessarily meaning it and then looked at him whilst batting your eyelashes innocently. “If I kiss you, will you finally let me go to sleep in peace?”

He placed a hand against his heart with a nod and then settled it on the back of your neck. “Promise.”

“Alright.” you stated in a neutral tone even though your heart had certainly picked up a few beats per minute from the situation. “Bring it on then.”

He didn’t wait to be told twice and leaned right in, his lips crashing hungrily against yours.

You gasped in surprise and he used the second to deepen the kiss, his warm tongue softly running along yours.

Dropping the blanket from your shoulders you pulled him closer by the waistband of his sweats and answered his kiss breathlessly.

With a grin you swallowed the moan that left his lips when his hips pressed tightly against yours and you dragged him even closer, pushing your entire body against his as your hands slid into his hair to tug at a few of his messy strands.

You followed his pace and rhythm a while longer, allowing yourself to get lost in the way his lips were nicely pressed against yours and in the trails his warm fingers left all over your body, but then toned your movements down slowly.

Your chest still panting heavily you sank from the tips of your toes back onto your heels and you pressed a last sweet but longing kiss against his mouth before picking up your blanket to wrap it around your shoulders anew.

Moving around him quietly, another beautifully puzzled look present on his face, you made your way to the doorframe before turning around to glace at him again with a smirk spread on your still reddened lips.

“Happy New Year, Ben.”

 *****

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**

You had agreed back then, because you absolutely hated the studio’s apartments. And only until you had found something new for yourself. But once you had bought the first real plant for Ben’s spacious apartment and had basically transferred your entire wardrobe into his closet, you had stopped telling yourself that this was only temporary and moved on. So what? You were living in Ben’s apartment. You were friends. This is what friends did, right?

**

You heard a noise from the kitchen when you woke up, someone loudly rummaging through cupboards and the fridge, the coffee machine being turned on.

Swinging your legs off the bed you walked straight to the source of the noise, leaning against the kitchen’s door frame to rub sleep from your eyes and allow your body to get used to the now vertical position.

With an amused smile on your lips you watched Ben who went through different drawers with a confused expression on his face, before clearing your throat.

“(Y/N)!” Ben exclaimed giddily, a grin spreading on his lips. He quickly walked towards you to lift you up and spin you around in a hug, before gently placing you back to the floor and giving you a once over. “Is that my shirt?”

You looked down at your outfit, not sure on what you had even thrown on after the night shoot you had come home from only about four hours ago. It had been a long night on set. You scanned your short cheerleading shorts, fuzzy socks and in fact one of Ben’s large shirts that you had found in his closet when you had made more space for your own clothing. “I guess so.” You laughed as you tied your messy hair into a bun in a swift motion to look at least the tiniest bit presentable after only a few hours of sleep. “I didn’t know you’d be coming home. I would have cleaned or at least pretended to.”

“Where are the cups?” Ben kept questioning instead of responding and watched intently as you walked over to the cupboard above the coffee machine.

“It’s more efficient that way.” you explained as you poured two cups, filling sugar into one of them, before handing it to the blonde in front of you.

“Alright.” He leaned against the counter top. “Last question. Did you rearrange my living room furniture? Because I almost walked against that coffee table when I came in.”

You glanced behind you to look at the couch you and your best friend had moved around about two months ago to make room for your daily Pilates workouts. Okay, weekly somewhat workouts. The space was mostly used for having spontaneous dance parties by yourself after shoots. Not that Ben had to know that. “There is more space now.” you mumbled, allowing the hot beverage in your hands to wake you up a little more with every sip. “Sorry.”

“No, I like it.” he grinned as he started walking around the room, looking at pictures of him and you and your families and friends that you had hung up on the walls.

Just now you noticed the big suitcase standing next to the front door. You had been too distracted by Ben’s sudden appearance to realize that he was actually here and not just on your laptop screen. He was wearing a simple white shirt and black skinny jeans; his dark brown leather jacket was aimlessly thrown over the suitcase and did all sorts of things for your imagination. It had been a while since you had last seen him in person. Almost four months, when you had visited him on set in Los Angeles while on the promo tour. He still looked as great as ever.

“How long are you staying?” you asked as you cuddled up into the big arm chair in the corner of the living room area, tugging a blanket around your bare legs.

“About three weeks I think.” He threw himself onto the couch and used the remote control on the coffee table to turn up the heating. “It’s so cold in here.”

“Welcome to Britain, California boy.” You laughed at his outraged face.

“Excuse you; I am British all the way through. I just did not remember it being so cold is all. It’s bloody April.”

You nervously shifted your cup from one hand to the other as you watched him watch you. “Do you want me to go sleep in a hotel while you are here? This is your apartment after all.”

His amused laugh not only filled the room, but something in your chest as well. You really had missed him. “Judging by what it looks like, you live here more than me right now. I think we will make do. It’s not like we have never shared a bed before, right?” His wink made you want to do bad things to him. But those had to wait. You didn’t even know if they were still on the table. For all you knew, he could have a girlfriend in LA by now you didn’t yet know off. You kind of had avoided talking about this subject all together for the last months.

“Right.” You confirmed, your stomach twisted in knots. “We can be roommates for a few weeks. Gives us time to catch up, as friends do.” You stopped yourself short. What were you even trying to say?

“Well, since that is settled.” He stretched once more and got up, placing his coffee cup in the sink. “I had a long flight, I think I will take a shower if you don’t have to use the bathroom right now, roomie.” He laughed again, his face a literal ray of sunshine, and waited for you to answer.

“No, go ahead. I am having a night shoot today, so I think I will go back to bed for a bit.” Finally you had found actual words that made sense.

You stayed seated to finish your coffee, your mind running a hundred miles an hour. He was here. And you were here. And you were both living here. It had been correct when he had stated that you had shared a bed multiple times before. But that had been different. It was in hotels and airbnbs, in his flat in LA. But never here. In your apartment, well his apartment. It never had felt as real as it did in this moment.

A minute later he stepped back out of the bathroom, only dressed in boxer shorts as he was apparently about to step into the shower. “Where did the towels go?”

You eyed him up and down, forcing yourself to meet his eyes instead of his naked chest and prominent bulge, before getting up and following him into the little bathroom. You opened the cupboard below the sink that you could reach easier than the one above the washing machine, and handed a towel to him.

Sticking out his tongue as a thank you, he removed the last piece of clothing still on his body and stepped into the shower.

In a hurry you left the bathroom and shut the door behind you, before releasing a breath you hadn’t known you were holding.

This was going to be torture. And fun. But definitely mostly torture.

***

You tried not to show your annoyance, but couldn’t help it and snorted lightly. This had happened before. Especially men tended to think you were not strong enough, too little, too fragile. But you were trained professionally, you had four years of experience doing this, and you knew you were one of the best out there. It sucked that just because you were female you had to prove yourself over and over again.

“Mr.Jones, I assure you, she is one of the best on the team. We wouldn’t have positioned her with you if that wasn’t the case.” Mr.Pierce came to your defense and you thanked him with your eyes before focusing your attention back onto Ben. Or better said at the round object that was currently hurling straight in his direction from the field.

Reacting fast you stepped forwards and caught the football about to forcibly crack his skull open with both hands out of the air.

Your sudden movement made the blond jump and his eyes opened in wonder as he inspected the ball in your hands that you quickly threw back towards where it had come from.

Mr.Pierce grinned in triumph and shrugged proudly. “You were saying, Mr.Jones?”

“Alright.” Ben hissed, his voice in an angry tone. “I guess she can stay.” He turned back to you, his green eyes meeting yours directly, your heart only maybe missing a beat from the sudden impact. “Just try not to fall in love with me, will you?”

You smiled again – majorly forced – and stepped closer to him, your nose almost on level with his. “I promise you that won’t be a problem, Mr.Jones. I am a professional.”

But boy, did you have a storm coming.

*****

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