#fallinginlike

Carrots

I have not known him long enough

To know him

But I have known his heart

In the moments we have walked beside each other

Few people show so much of their heart

In so few seconds

But his was bare

The first hour we spoke

Falling.

I doubt you guys will find this as cute as I did.  I was talking to this guy I have been kinda sorta dating and I was telling him about the possibilities of a new night job in a somewhat shady part of town.

Well next thing I know he is buying me pepper spray. :)

There is nothing that can compare to the feeling of falling in like.

It is not nearly the same as falling in love.

And undoubtedly better than falling out of love and simply just being. 

The butterflies you get when you see them.

The pang of jealousy when someone else makes them laugh.

Your thoughts consumed by the idea of what could be. 

Driving yourself crazy wondering,

"Do they like me back?"

You can't inquire about their feelings for you,

for that would break the code

of falling in like. 

You must blissfully suffer.

'Just friends'.

It pains you. 

Put on a façade. 

Oh, but nothing is greater than

At 24 I imagined falling 'in like' with someone again would feel different, like a matured version of my 15 year old self falling 'in like' for the first time. I imagined myself to be witty and smart and that liking someone at 24 meant that I was able to be more elusive (who am I kidding?)... What probably added to this crazy idea was that my inner monologue, with the help of my frequent day dreams concocted this whole scenario in my head that falling for someone again would feel mature or rational for use of a better term. But you know what? I'm beginning to realize that falling for someone at 24 isn't really any different than it was at 15, except that perhaps you have more deal breakers and higher expectations.

Liking someone NEVER brings out any sort of rational emotions and it is for that reason that falling for someone at any age will always bring out your 15 year old self. Whilst you are trying to be somewhat mature, albeit charming, your 15 year old self that you have hiding in the closet, comes out at full throttle and pounces on your newest victim *ahem* crush and trying to tame it can be somewhat a challenge. It's then that you realize that you have all these annoying character traits that you usually don't have in day to day life...

You start to smile at the thought of them like a big goofy idiot. You will still say the most ridiculous things and blush in embarrassment at the thought that you just said something so immature. You will still over analyse every single thing they do and say to anticipate the next move you make as not to seem too frivolous or  available. And finally and most importantly, you will still flirt your pants off (figuratively speaking, perhaps literal for some!). Strangely enough, despite being more mature in almost every other aspect of life at at twentysomething or ninety something, liking someone is definitely the one and only exception, oh and perhaps when jumping castles are around but that's another day, another blog... 

Just remember to take care of your physical, spiritual and mental well being,  be yourself and love will follow. Oh and remember it's perfectly normal to act like a  hormone crazed 15 year old when liking someone new, no matter what your age. Whilst we all mature and search for the meaning of life, get that great promotion and buy our first homes, we will still always giggle at the thought of our new crushes name and invent new signatures for our married names...OK, maybe not that far, but you get the drift.

Forever young at heart (maybe too young)