'It's a horrible experience to lose respect for someone you love. Whether you know them or not.'
Lauren Rothery, from Television

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'It's a horrible experience to lose respect for someone you love. Whether you know them or not.'
Lauren Rothery, from Television

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Falling Out
It happens so slowly like the sunset leaking into a room where no one bothers to turn on a lamp
Your voice used to touch something inside me on a small and bright nerve Now it moves past without any consequence like a stranger brushing my coat on a train I never took
I keep trying to find the place wherever the warmth went but these walls are bare and the air smell’s of yesterday’s rain You speak and my silence grows teeth you reach for me and my shadow flinches before I do
I didn’t mean for love to rot but rot never asks permission it just spreads quiet and patient until one day you wake up beside someone who feels like nothing but a memory of a life you no longer want
The worst part is I still remember what it was like to want you
I don’t know what I did.
I made you angry somehow.
I can’t see it in your eyes.
But in the lines that keeps
your face indifferent, cold.
Where it before was warmth
is now nothing. Nothing there, cold.
Steely. Nothing at all.
Indifference is so much worse.
Than other emotions
to show off on one’s face.
You are cold. Nothing there.
I made you angry somehow.
I wish I knew. What’s different
from yesterday? What did I do?
-
What did I ever do?
But loving you.
Albeit, quietly.
And maybe,
just maybe
that wasn’t enough.
Enough for you.
Steve and Eddie.
Eddie and Steve.
After Vecna, they're inseparable. They share a bed. Always. Twine their legs together and sleep close. No reason to pretend they don't need each other when they so obviously do.
Eddie loves him. He knows it's stupid. Doesn't know how to protect his heart when Steve is everything.
Spring fades into summer, and between nights spent with entangled limbs, Eddie starts to see more in Steve's hazel eyes; soft fondness and gentle care, a flash of heat. Their physical affection goes beyond casual touches--arms around waists, fingers on hips, faces nuzzling against necks, kisses pressed into hair.
It feels like they have all the time in the world, but Robin asks Steve to move to Indy and Steve never mentions it. Eddie pretends like the silence doesn't hurt. They've only ever been just friends, after all.
Then, one night, "I'm moving to Indy."
"Okay, yeah." Eddie tries to keep his voice even, the tears from spilling. it was always a mistake, falling for Steve Harrington.
"Come with me?" Steve's hands are clenched in the duvet.
"I'm moving to New York." He had no plans until this very moment.
Steve falls quiet. "That's nice, Eddie. That's--yeah, you should do that, if it's what you want."
He nods. Ignores the lump in his throat. "Maybe I can really be somebody."
Steve smiles. Eddie's not sure why it looks so sad. "You'll knock 'em dead, Ed."
---
They stay friends, of course they do. There's phone calls and visits, and it's not the same, but it's still good.
Eddie tries to get over him. He does. There are dates, men, possibility. But they're not Steve.
Steve meets a girl--nice, pretty, wealthy--the kind of girl made for a King. It sticks. Eddie likes her. And nobody needs to know that he cries himself to sleep, thinking of what might have been.
The invitation comes in the mail. He throws it in the garbage without a thought, before standing against his counter, knuckles going white where he's gripping into the laminate. Tries to remind himself to keep breathing around the shattering of his heart.
He's not going. Knows he can't take it.
Then, a phone call.
"I'm getting married," Steve says.
"Yeah, just got the invite. Congrats!" Bile in his throat threatens to choke him.
"Will you--you'll stand up there with me?"
Eddie smacks his head repeatedly against the wall. "Of course," is the only possible answer.
---
The wedding is fine. During the ceremony, he tries not to listen to the vows, keeps his eyes on Robin's back and never, ever on Steve. He drinks through the reception. Knows it's too much, knows he's losing control. Can't take watching Steve dance with his new bride, so he sneaks out a side door into an alley, lighting his last cigarette. The nicotine barely hits his lungs before a scuffle of feet interrupts his moment.
"Can I get in on that?" Steve asks.
Eddie squeezes his eyes shut, handing over the cigarette. "What're you doing out here?"
"Haven't really talked to you at all today."
"Well. You've been a little busy." He means it to be a joke but it falls very flat, his bitterness too close to the surface.
Steve exhales a cloud of smoke. "Yeah. Didn't realize weddings were so much work."
Eddie doesn't know what to say, so they fall into silence, passing the smoke back and forth until it burns down to the filter.
"You happy?" Eddie asks. Doesn't think he meant to, doesn't want the answer.
"Ed..."Steve swallows.
"So, yes," he chuckles. It's the most hollow thing he's ever heard.
"It's just--It's normal, you know?"
And it's like Steve punched him, to know they never could've been because Eddie--being with Eddie--would never be normal.
"Right, of course, Harrington. Normal."
"That's not what--I'm not saying--"
"What else could you possibly mean?"
"I want quiet. No monsters, no secret dimensions. Something regular. Easy."
"Six-fucking-nuggets, right? Still a pretty lady in the front seat next to you."
"What's wrong with that? Huh? What's wrong with kids and stability and a fucking life. Not bartending until 4am and playing the occasional gig and living with 18 goddamn people."
Eddie straightens at that, fingers twisting in his button-down. "Sorry my life doesn't meet your exacting standards, King. Sorry I can't be what you want."
He storms away, Steve shouting after him, but he leaves him there with his promising and bright and normal future unfurling before him.
---
They don't talk. One month. Six Months. A Year. Two.
For lack of better to do, for stability, he writes a book. Fantasy. About an Adventurer who helps a group of kids save the world. They're joined by a handsome, mysterious man who seems like an asshole, but helps them selflessly every time. He and the Adventurer are something, but before it's anything real, the stranger is revealed to be their Prince. They save the world, but the Prince has to leave the Adventurer behind.
The book is a hit. Spawns a series. Eddie's somebody.
---
Eddie comes home from the store, paper bag of groceries balanced against his chest.
Steve Harrington, not looking a day older than at his wedding, stands at his door, hands wringing.
"Steve?" He asks.
"Hey, Ed." The nickname twists Eddie's stomach, but he doesn't say anything.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm getting divorced," Steve says.
Eddie almost drops his groceries, his hands shake so hard. He busies himself with the lock, ushering Steve inside.
"Is that all?" He asks.
Steve blinks at him, dazed expression on his still pretty face. "What?"
"You came all this way just to tell someone you haven't spoken to in almost eight years that you're getting divorced? What's it to me?" He stomps into the kitchen with his groceries.
"I wanted--I thought--"
Eddie snorts, makes it mean because he feels mean, wants to make Steve hurt the way he has for years. "You thought? We haven't spoken since your wedding day, man."
"She was ready for kids, and I realized that she's not--she's not who I picture having a family with."
The words pierce him like shattered glass, and he whirls into the living room, into Steve's space. "What the fuck are you doing?" he hisses.
"I wanted you to know, Ed. After all--"
"Stop calling me that. Stop acting like we're friends, for Christ's sake. And I don't give a damn about whatever realization you had once you realized normal wasn't for you."
"I'm trying to make this right!" Pink splotches highlight Steve's cheeks, his anger spiking to match Eddie's.
"There's nothing to fix, Harrington. We're over. It's fine."
"It's not fine," Steve is breathing hard. "I wanted you so badly, and you fucking ran away--"
"Bullshit! I waited for you. And you moved to Indy with Robin without a thought."
"I asked you to come! You were the one who said no."
"You asked a week before you left!"
"I was scared!"
"Of what, Steve? Not having that normal, easy, life you wanted so badly?"
"Of course not!"
"Then why?"
Steve chuckles, steps back. "I always thought you of all people would understand, and now--"
"Not when you come to my house unannounced to unload on me about your divorce because you expect us to pick up like none of it ever happened."
"That's not what I want!"
Eddie turns, pinching the bridge of his nose to cut off the stinging in his eyes. "I can't do this. I think you should leave, Steve."
"Fine." Steve won't look at him, storms to the door. "This was a mistake."
He slams it hard enough it makes the walls shake, picture frames rattle. Eddie can't stop the sob that rips out of him. Entitled, selfish, Steve Harrington, the only man Eddie will ever love. Steve Harrington who thinks love comes with strings attached. Steve Harrington who was afraid of asking Eddie to move away with them. And Eddie, always the coward, stifled by the weight of his own impossible love.
Eddie moves on autopilot, just knows he needs to find Steve, to see if there's a chance.
He skids down the stairs, almost falling a time or two, out into the night. His eyes scan the sidewalk, searching for familiar tall hair, but there's no sign of Steve, no sign--
A soft sob cuts through the air and Eddie's eyes fall to the steps in front of him, to the beautiful man sitting with his head on his knees.
"Steve," he says.
He stands, whirling, face a wreck. "Eddie?"
He doesn't know what to say at first, swallowing and swallowing around nothing. "I--I'm sorry I said no, when you asked me to move with you."
Steve's face does a funny, fracturing thing, even as he gives a little laugh. "I'm sorry I took so long to work up the nerve to ask."
Both of them take a step forward, then stumble together in a clumsy, tear-soaked hug.
"I'm sorry I got too drunk at your wedding," Eddie whispers against his friend's neck.
Steve giggles, but quiets quickly "I'm sorry about the 'normal' thing. I didn't mean it. I was--it doesn't matter. I'm sorry."
They hold each other for a long time on the steps of Eddie's building, rocking gently back and forth. When they finally let go, Eddie pushes Steve's hair off his forehead, asks, "wanna order a pizza and catch up?"
The answering smile is blinding as a sun, and Eddie is just as hopelessly in love as he was at 20.
They walk inside, fingers still entwined, lit up with hope.
"Hey," Steve says as they walk up the stairs together. "Are the Adventurer and the Prince going to find each other again? Because it's been four books now, and I'm still wait--"
Eddie twists his fingers into Steve's t-shirt, pushing him against the stained stairwell wall. "Fuck, Steve, I--"
He's interrupted by Steve closing the distance between their mouths, pulling them together in a searing kiss.
"They get forever, sweetheart" is Eddie's answer.
Nostalgia stings like the needles painting your forget-me-nots across my ribs. I loved you once, I know. Maybe it was not so long ago to forget completely.
You said it would last across distance and time. Can it stretch over every hurt marring both?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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SOON (by which I mean Sunday) : D
Whump Prompt #1254
Submitted by Anon - thanks!
Characters who’ve had a falling out due to an injury (A hurting B or something) and have to reunite and be friends/work together after years of not speaking.
Bonus points if A didn’t mean to hurt B but never had the chance to communicate it