#falling death

Hour of Wolves Media Post

“Two Are Killed By C.P. Trains,” Toronto World. August 4, 1911. Page 01. ---- Passenger and Employee Fall From Moving Cars - Former Instantly Killed - Latter Dies Later in Hospital --- NORTH BAY, Aug. 3. - (Special). - Paul Tessier, from Montreal, a passenger of the Soo westbound C.P.R. express to-day, on his way to work in the lumber shanties, fell from the train near Warren and was instantly killed.

I wrote this piece to describe the state of death. I personally have not experienced this but I like to imagine the stance I will take.

If you imagine death it is quick. You are confronted with an experiences that leaves you with an inability to continue and it is just that. It’s done. fast. easy. dead. Well that’s not how it works. When you die it’s like falling. falling down. down. down. Away from the lights above and the people around you. The colors  start to fade and they blur together to create a big wet mess. Your head starts to tilt back and you slip ever so slightly as you fall through space. It’s not like a quick trip. Where you lose your balance and your heart jumps as you catch yourself. Or even like when you actually hit the ground and the pain is instant on your knee. It is a gradual state. Like being lowered with a machine. Or like a chair in the dentist when you're sinking down ever so slightly. It’s quite calming really. Imagine coming home from a long hard day and sinking into your sheets and drifting off to dreamland. It’s like that, only you are completely aware of your surroundings. You can hear the people around you. That’s the worst part. You are going on to a new place a new stage in your life and you hear these whispers coming from all around. Your family, your friends, they all weep as you leave them. You want to call out “Don’t worry! I’ll be alright! I’m just moving on!” But you can’t speak. You can’t see. You can just feel the falling...the slowly falling...and you can hear the moans of the people around you...as you drift into the onward. I guess it’s worse for the people with noone around them. No one to weep for their memories, noone to grieve at their bedside. They just fall fast and hard since there is nothing to hold onto. That’s why I stay. I have made my decision to leave my current state and I want to bid farewell. That’s why I fall so slowly. I fall so slowly into the end.