#fall without wings

I love when you write Alec’s POV

Ahaha, that was in fact the moment that inspired the whole fic. It came from a throwaway line in the epilogue of fall without wings (yes, it does exist; no, it is not finished and is unlikely to see the light of day for a while; yes, of course it’s ridiculously long):

Magnus hums. “How would eighteen year old Alec have felt about me, do you think?”

Laughing, Alec drags his eyes slowly up Magnus’ figure and says, “I think he’d have swallowed his tongue trying to get a sentence out. I was very repressed, but not very practiced at it, back then.”

My brain immediately went !!! the second I’d written Alec’s line and decided to word-vomit 12k of fic in one go.

& then I got to chapter 64 and got to the bottom of the page and realized that it was done....and now I’m sad. And I gotta start from the beginning all over again!

Chapter summary: In which they go home and make love.

He turns his head towards Magnus, who holds Alec’s entire heart in his hands but sometimes acts like he doesn’t realise how completely it’s his. “I love you enough to know that if I ever had to let you go, if letting you go was what made you happiest, then I would. And I wouldn’t regret a second of what we had. So no. I’m not scared that you’ll break my heart. It’s yours entirely, and nothing will change that.”

Oh god, in 350k words I could pick so many! (So if anyone else desperately wants to ask this one, go ahead 😅)

WHAT IF Magnus didn’t win the trial? What if the Clave didn’t exonerate Magnus, and instead sentenced him to death?

“The Clave does not see fit to grant your pardon,” Jia says, face stony from where she stands on the dais. “A majority finds you guilty on counts of arson, manslaughter, and the misuse of magic. By law of the Clave, you are sentenced to death.”

Up on the platform, Magnus closes his eyes, inhaling deeply. Alec feels like someone has just ripped the ground away from beneath his feet. Were he standing, he’s sure he would have swayed to the floor.

“That’s outrageous!” Lydia shouts, throwing her folder down on the table and shooting to her feet, fury blazing in her eyes.

Alec barely hears her. He can’t look away from Magnus, who still has his eyes closed, as though that might be enough to protect him from reality.

This is all Alec’s fault. He did this. He persuaded Magnus to go through a trial. He’d thought - foolishly, idiotically, naively - that the Clave would be fair. That they would see the context around Magnus’ past crimes. That they would listen to Lydia’s arguments about the misuse of magic laws. That they would feel indebted to Magnus for his role in defeating Valentine.

It was a stupid thing to think. And now Magnus is going to pay the ultimate price.

Perhaps it’s not the world that Magnus is trying to protect himself. Perhaps he simply can’t bear to look at Alec. Perhaps it’s simply too much to have to see the man - the Shadowhunter - who caused his downfall, when he’d been living happily right under the Clave’s nose until Alec burst into his life and refused to leave him alone.

It’s his fault. Magnus is going to be executed. He’s going to be slaughtered. And it’s all Alec’s fault.

***

I’m enjoying this, maybe I should have written FWW like this ;) (and dragged it on for another twenty chapters, lmao). In my head, I’m imagining that Alec tries to have a desperate, hurried conversation with Magnus as he’s escorted out of the hall. He goes to visit him in prison, and Magnus can’t quite meet his gaze, and doesn’t really say much (other than a few sharp remarks), but Alec apologises endlessly and swears that he’s going to break Magnus out. He does, and they have a nice conversation (shouty argument) where they get all their feelings out, and then—

Oh, yeah, this is why this didn’t happen in FWW 😂 Magnus is once again a fugitive and they avoid the Clave for the rest of their lives? Doesn’t quite work... But a fun thought!

I suppose it’ll have to be FWW, because none of the others can really go further back than they already do or will, when they’re finished...

“The Clave has a warrant out for your arrest.”

Magnus frowns over at Catarina as she strides into his apothecary, carrying a fire message. She deposits it on the table beside the row of herbs he’d been meticulously chopping, and Magnus peers down at it with growing concern.

“I see,” he says.

And, oh, he really does. The Clave has been more than happy to consort with him for decades, but they’re cracking down, now. Rather than turning their attention to the rapidly rising fascist in their midst, they’re choosing to weed out problematic Downworlder in an attempt at a strong show of leadership.

Valentine Morgenstern wants to purge every drop of demonic blood from the realm, but the High Warlock of Brooklyn sheltering the odd supposed criminal and using magic illegally, to no harm, is the more important issue.

“You should lay low for a while,” Catarina says, looking a little anxious.

Magnus snorts. “They’re not going to do anything to the High Warlock of Brooklyn. They must know that they’d have a mutiny on their hands if they harmed me. I don’t particularly care if they drag me in for questioning.”

“They’re serious this time,” Catarina tells him. “The High Warlock of Edinburgh was arrested last week—”

“To be fair, he’s been selling Seelie drugs to mundanes. That’s dangerous.”

“So is summoning demons! Magnus, please just—” She cuts herself off and shakes her head at him. She looks more worried than Magnus thinks the situation warrants. “Until this blows over, please be careful.”

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll delegate,” Magnus says. He reaches out to pat her hand, and she exhales slowly. “Everything will be fine, Catarina. You’ll see. They’ll be begging me to help them fix their Circle problem in a month or two.”

She cracks a smile at that. History tells Magnus that he’s more than likely to be correct. The Clave always comes knocking on his door asking for help, in the end.

But for Catarina’s peace of mind, he’ll divert some of his jobs to Ragnor. Just until that time comes.

***

Then, obviously, the Circle rises, Ragnor is murdered by Maryse, and the Clave well and truly ends its allegiance with Magnus. And then FWW happens! And we all know that that’s just fluff and rainbows!

Can be found here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9780086/chapters/51561949#main