#fake transcripts

WB: Ladies, you got a pitch for us?

Hilarie: One Tree Hill sequel starring me.

Sophie: And me.

WB: And....who else?

Danneel: *raise a hand holding money* This is totally not a bribe.

WB: Look, we're all for low-effort money grab but couldn't you make it less obvious?

Danneel: What do you mean? I love One Tree Hill and would never disrespect it.

WB: Like you love Supernatural?

Danneel: Whom?

WB: I'll be blunt, when I asked 'who else', I was asking about the lead protagonist played by Chad Michael Murphy.

Sophie: It's Murray, not Murphy.

WB: Really? You sure it's Murray?

Sophie: Of course I know, we were married once!

WB: Uh-huh, this answer the question if he will be in the sequel doesn't it.

Hilarie: It's barely an inconvenience, we'll just say my character is no longer married to Lucas and that Peyton's story was that she always wanted Lucas but couldn’t have him so it made her focus her life and develop as a person. By divorcing Lucas...

Sophie: or killing him off!

Hilarie: ..it mirrors the original show because Peyton can't have what she thinks what she should have, which is Lucas. So the reboot is going to try to prove the thesis for what the series is about, which is about the significant, challenging, emotional relationship that Peyton has with herself.

WB: oh boy...

Sophie: My character will have a queer awakening and leave her husband which leads to exciting drama.

WB: That sounds like your real life.

Sophie: Total coincidence I swear.

WB: *look at Sex and the City fans reactions to Miranda's queer awaking storyline in the reboot* Oh boy, we're going to get whole bunch of gay fans calling themselves 'ex-homosexuals' and 'homophobic gays/bisexuals' over their hatred of this storyline.

Max: Yeah we're not going through that again. Hey Netflix, you want this?

But talk a little (or a lot) about Misha's defining performance as the third wheel. 🤣🤣

😁

Director: Okay Misha, have you seen the meme that goes, "The Awkward Moment When You Realized You're The Third Wheel" ?

Misha: Oh yeah, it's my favorite memes, those losers always make me feel better about myself.

Director: Great, keep that loser in mind.

Misha: Sure...wait, what?

Director: Third wheel loser, action!

Misha: *tells himself that even Harry Potter was a third wheel*

Director: This isn't working. Okay Misha, how about this. Think back when you first learned that Jared isn't leaving Supernatural after this season. And action!

Misha: Wait. What!?

Director: Cut. Okay let's instead try 5 minutes after you learned that Jared is staying on in for season 15 and you're not getting that promotion. And action!

Misha: *stewing bitter resentment and disappointment*

I don't know if this is actually a reliable source, but it sounds like something Jensen would do

Link.

Jensen's pitch: I can see it right now. It's just one scene. Middle America, Big Sky country. It's just wheat fields as far as the eye can see. I look in the distance, and it's like Lawrence of Arabia when Omar Sharif was riding up with the camel. The lone figure gets closer and closer and closer. It's Kripke on a motorcycle.

Kripke: You’re not ready for Solider Boy prequel!!

Sony: Ready for what, more blackmail?

Kripke: It’s so crazy I can’t believe I’m getting away ...wait what?

Sony: And every time your writers don't know how to end a scene, they'll just push the "explode person" button, right?

Kripke: No no I promise it will be batshit crazy!

AA: Jensen is going to be live action Batman, finally!

Kripke: What? No! I said it's going to be batshit crazy that you're not ready for it!!

Jensen: And I even have the soundtrack in my head. There were no words spoken. I had this swelling score. It was like some Robert Zemeckis film.

I would just like to add that I was in post today, working on a Season 4 scene that miiiiiiight be the batshit craziest thing we've ever done? Like I truly can't believe we got away with it. #TheBoys #TheBoysTV

At this point I am begging them to use literally anything besides "you're not ready" or "craziest scene/episode/season EvA!!" for their promo. Like, is there NOTHING about the actual show to talk about? This happened with the promo last season too - it was all about how this was the cRaZiEsT season yet, herogasm was going to be the CrAzIeSt episode yet, the whole season was going to be the cRaZiEsT one ever, SB was going to be the WORST big bad ever!! They told us nothing about the content of the show other than how crazy it was going to be. Then it never lived up to the hype.

There was also this:

https://twitter.com/TheBoysTV/status/1731796424239776225

Now that the S4 teaser is out, let's recap what we know, shall we? -- Homelander is standing trial and taking a splatter paint class. One of those statements is true. -- Butcher has six months to live, and still knows about that virus being cooked at Godolkin. -- Neuman is closer than ever to changing her title from "Congresswoman" to "VP." -- Sage and Firecracker are two of the most dangerous supes you'll ever meet, and let's just leave it at that for now. -- Deep hasn't changed one fuckin bit. -- MM is still the team's rock, just with less beard. Somehow, Noir has returned.

Is this Sage and Firecracker situation going to be another SB situation? We were told how SB was the worst supe basically... ever, then he was easily distracted by drugs and grannies - not exactly the worst villain to exist even in that universe.

Link and Link.

Kripke: You're not ready!!

Fans: Bro you've been saying this every year.

Kripke: It's so crazy I can't believe I'm getting away with it!!

Amazon: We cut the scene of Homelander aggressively pleasuring himself and the super prostitutes from Herogasm. You're not getting away with squat.

Kripke: You're REALY not ready!

The Boys PR: Jeezbus Kripke get a thesaurus. Okay fans, here's the bullet list refresher for season 3 and two more Solider Boy-lite supes!

Fans: Firecracker hooks up with Homelander, right?

The Boys PR: What? No that's not.....

Fans: We meet Homelander's son in season 1, then Homelander's love interest in season 2, then Homelander's father in season 3. So unless Firecracker took the same anti-aging V as Solider Boy did and she's actually his mum, she's his next love interest.

The Boys PR: Why does Kripke think you all are dumb noobs?

Kripke: SEriousLY it's gonna be batshit crazy!

Time to bring back Fake Transcript Thursday.

Jared: "Their love saved the world"?? Wait, is this the second act in the "Fan Fiction" musical that Robbie wrote? The one with robots in space?

Jensen: And tentacles.

Jared: Wasn't the second act about non-canon stuff, which was why Calliope hated it, so she planned to kill and eat the writer to keep it from happening?

Jensen: Now you get why the prequel starts in the second act.

Jared: Oh my God this would as if Disney makes a Star Wars prequel about Luke Skywalker's uncle Owen and aunt Beru and how their love saved the galaxy and Harrison Ford reprise his Han Solo role to narrate their story.

Jensen: Why would Disney make a show about Luke Skywalker’s aunt and uncle?

Jared: Disney didn’t because it’s a stupid idea!

Jensen: Babe, calm down, this can work with a young, hot looking cast.

Jared: It's going to be Riverdale in space?

Jensen:  With tentacles.