#fairywarrior

Finally! We have to leave the year 2016. I know this is late for a year-ender entry but since I’m a busy bee and lazy a$$, I’m posting this late.

To sum it all up, my 2016 is quite messy and fucked up than the past years. It truly challenged my patience and creativity.  Also, it made me wonder of my true existence. I have doubts about myself, my peeps and my chosen course.

The first quarter of the month is I have to lie to my parents and to an officer. IT WAS THE WORST THING EVER! I do not want to elaborate it further but don’t worry it’s not too drastic. 

When I saw them, I totally screamed! Well.. I “internally” screamed! Daebak! I was really impressed with their costumes. When I saw “Princess Leia”, my eyes were sweating. LOL. Because I remembered Carrie Fisher and how her character inspired me to be tough. 

I tried my best not to cry while watching the parade or else the crowd might think I’m crazy for doing so.. Well, my parents were shocked when they saw me crying. My mom thought that I was crying because I’m going to miss them but literally laughed when I told her I was crying because of Carrie Fisher and Star Wars will never be the same without her. Her response? She said, “Bakit? Kamag-anak ba natin siya?”. Ladies and gents, please give my Mom an applause for this. Hahaha! Love you Mom!

Velour and Cedar

Pose Reference: https://www.deviantart.com/adorkastock/art/August-AdiPOSE-Arms-Around-Each-Other-921236560 Velour and Cedar before Velour went to do magical protection work in a parallel dimension. Cedar is very pretty, as well as Velour, and I want to get better at drawing them both. Cedar is the heartthrob of the Twilit Forest fae. She is the royal guard of Princess Euthalia. Velour was Cedar's favorite trainee and the two are close. I still hate how the tree turned out, but it is far too late for me to figure out how to fix it.  Velour Eventide, Cedar Blossom - Me (circifox; both originally designed by VIxen on Toyhouse)

“Ma, I’m turning 20 years old this year.”

“Then, act like you’re 20.”

Wow.

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After hearing those words, my whole existence got flushed in the toilet. I got insecure, I feel that I can’t move freely anymore or I get judged every time I say something or do something. That everything I do is wrong. 

I asked myself, how should a 20 year old act? Or how should a 20 year old dress? Or how should a 20 year old handle this?

Honestly, I don’t know where to begin. Can I have a life coach to help me? I have read a lot of articles online about self-help but those tips doesn’t stick to my brain. It’s like if I step on something and I get anxious as if there’s a buzzer waiting for me to make a mistake.