#faibu deez

This is set before Bruno comes before my last oneshot… i incorporated a few things you might like

  The full moon found Yusei in his room, in front of the computer, staring at nothing. His eyes unfocused and empty, his body slack yet perfectly still in the stiff too small seat. His mind was once again alive with thoughts of the dark signer era, the screams, the gods, the black eyes, Rudger, Rex…. Kiryu. When it was all over he hoped, he waited, he prayed, for those words Rex had uttered to come true. He kept on telling himself that it was only a matter of time and he would have Kiryu back, that Jack would have Carly back, but alas no such thing.

The first sign came three weeks ago when Misty Tredwell’s death flooded the news channels. Akiza watched it all with a tight smile and the locket clutched firmly to her chest. For the first time in a while Yusei couldn’t say anything. “It’s alright she’s probably in a better place now anyway,” Aki says trying to sound unaffected but anyone looking at her can see that she’s trying to convince herself as well. Then Demak’s and Bommer’s death slammed into them a week later in the obituary of some godforsaken newspaper Crow picked up. To add insult to injury, Bommer’s was horribly besmearched his character and his village reduced to a pitiable caricature of violence and savagery. Crow crumpled the newspaper till it was completely unrecognisable and burnt it to a crisp. Then there was Carly, lovely bespectacled Carly. A chill went through all the signers the day her death was made known by one Angela Rains. Jack’s eyes looked particularly empty and cold and his body seemed to go limp as they announced that like the others no body was found. It was a good thing Angela refrained from saying anything out of line as Jack had already beat her apartment manager to a pulp for badmouthing her. The Goodwin brothers were no surprise to anyone, Yusei had seen them go, had seen them make their choice. Meanwhile Yusei was doing the best he could for everyone else. He fended off the press on multiple occasions, visited everyone made sure they were eating and staying hydrated. He took all of the abuse that came his way as a result whether it was Akiza screaming that he couldn’t save anyone, whether it was Jack telling him to clear off. he was there with that wan smile, those comforting eyes, and “I’m sorry” or any other consolatory statement ready on his lips. To the outside he looked so brave, so commanding, but everyone who knew him knew that this was a coping tactic that he was just combatting his helplessness and his grief by trying to alleviate someone else’s own.

It all came crashing down when the news report said they had found Kiryu’s dead body somewhere in satellite. Up to that time Yusei had never felt so hollow in all of his life. Some of the light left his eyes as the news reporter rambled on, so much so that Jack reached forward to turn off the offending newscast only for Yusei to grip his wrist tightly.

“No,” he whispered “ I.. need to see this. I… deserve this.”

So they endured the story to the the very last detail, no one daring to look at Yusei. When the newscast had finished, Yusei let a soft sight escape his list before turning to the others with that same sad smile.

“We should have a memorial of some sort, for everyone, if it’s even planting flowers at the spot. Give them all something to be remembered by…. Kind of release everything you felt for them..” it’s said in such a soft tired voice that no one can really say no not that they would anyway.

The memorial takes place on a bright Sunday afternoon in Jack’s old hangout. Aki’s bought the locket and some roses, the twins and Crow bought some mallows, Jack’s bought Carly’s glasses and Yusei’s bought his Team Satisfaction vest with him as well as the cloak, handcuffs, duel disk and deck. He’s the only one who actually has a body in a coffin to look at, though that doesn’t make him feel any better. He stares at the white clad body surrounded by forget-me-nots in the coffin and he wrinkles his nose before stepping up to the coffin. He gently opens it and places the cloak over the body, as well as neatly arranging the items around him before gently shutting it and walking off muttering “White never suited you anyways.” Everyone then moved to the places where they had battled the former dark signers and continued their mourning, after all they were the only ones who bothered to show up.

Afterwards, they had all moved back to Rex’s house. It just seemed so much easier and that way they could keep an eye on each other whilst avoiding the press. As everyone slowly began to get better Yusei retreated more and more into his room. No one said anything at first watching to see what would happen but the more sparse he became the more worried they became. It became a normal occurrence for them to check on him, to ensure he ate and stayed hydrated, to find him sitting in that chair, staring at nothing. It became normal to hear “I’m sorry” fall from his lips everytime they helped him. It became normal to watch over him in his sleep because dammit Yusei refused to bleed. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t because everytime he had done so in the past it never ended well.

Now he was once again in that same position, his mind  going a million miles a minute only this time he couldn’t control it, the screams became louder, the images flashed at him menacingly before melting away to new more traumatizing images and slowly the darkness closed in on him, suffocating him, till he let loose a bone chilling scream falling to the ground. The scream echoed though the house startling it’s occupants into action. Multiple footsteps pounded towards Yusei’s room following the wails coming from it. The sight that greeted them shook them to their cores. There was their leader curled into a foetal position on the floor, eyes wide and panicked, tears streaming down his face, his mouth frozen in some kind of silent scream. Jack was the first to act, kneeling down and slowly uncurling the small body before lifting him into a hug and trying to calm him down. Instantly hands gripped him like a lifeline and sobs racked the boy in his his hold. Akiza moved to embrace Yusei from behind, softly murmuring and cooing to him. This continued for a while until the sobs became small hiccups, with Yusei resting his head on Jack’s shoulder, exhaustion taking over.

“You know… I’m beginning to really… think that everyone was right. Especially you Akiza,” He said softly in between pants.

“What… what do you mean?” Aki asked very much dreading the answer.

“I’ve never really changed at all, I’ve never really grown up and I can’t save anyone, not even my best friend,” he said with a resigned sigh. “I truly am a horrible person aren’t I? I led you all into this, hell, this whole thing was my fault and now you’re all so tired, so sad,” he continued on even as Akiza’s grip tightened on him. “I’m so-“ he  said only to be cut off by Jack’s short sharp “Enough.”

“We chose to follow you into this , no one forced us. I don’t know what those other foster parents told you but you’re not your father, you don’t have to shoulder that, never had to shoulder that. Yeah you haven’t really changed but I don’t blame you, you don’t want to be left alone again and changing would mean that you’d have to confront some serious inner demons, so take your time, we won’t leave like those people who left you. Those people didn’t care about you at all and what you had with them wasn’t healthy. I’m pretty sure your gang back in satellite would agree. I admit first hand that what we had wasn’t healthy so I’m more than willing to start from 0 with you, whatever it takes. Oh and by the way you’re not horrible, you were starved of anything resembling love and care before you met Martha and of course that affected the way you look at us now and that’s gonna take a while to get over. But I promise you this we’ll be here every step of the way and we’ll keep reminding you of all of this as much as you need us to, got that? You can’t save everyone but no one else can either, besides Kiryu look pretty much at peace in that coffin, so it’s okay. You’re okay.”

Jack rose after saying that taking Yusei with him and ushering him to bed, with some assistance from Aki.

“We’ll talk more in the morning okay? For now you need rest,” Aki murmured as she pulled the covers over him.

“Can.. you guys stay until I fall asleep” asked Yusei hesitantly.

“We never really planned to leave you know” Crow chuckled in response.

“Now sleep, we’ll be here in the morning,” said Ruka.

It took a while but he did fall asleep and for the first time in a while he didn’t have any nightmares.

It was 2 AM in the garage. Bruno and Yusei were still programming, well, at least Bruno was. Ever since that he lost against Jean he seemed a bit distracted. He second guessed himself a lot more and his usually calm face would sometimes morph into an expression of panic or extreme worry. His hands shook a little from time to time and he seemed very reluctant to duel. In response the rest of team 5ds vowed that he wouldn’t have to duel against Team Catastrophe no matter what, a decision catalysed by the sight of Yusei’s reaction to the injured team unicorn members. He held it in very well at the hospital and on the way back, a bit too well in fact. The minute he got through the door he trembled visibly and instantly Jack and Crow were at his side, Jack’s voice dropping to a tender tone second only to the one he used with Carly and Crow gently pushing Yusei to the couch. A pillow is placed on the couch, a blanket bought out and Yusei’s acquieseing body is being pushed gently to lie down and rest. It takes a while of hushed murmuring, shoulder pats, hair ruffling and affectionate squeezing to get Yusei to relax. When he finally falls asleep he’s tightly clutching onto each of their hands and for the first time, at least for Bruno, Jack doesn’t whine about how uncomfortable he is and Crow doesn’t even  mention work.

It had been a month since then. Team 5ds stuck to their vow and defeated Team Catastrophe but Yusei ended up dueling a much stronger enemy much to their dismay. He won against Placido thankfully, Bruno was pretty sure the rest of the team would raise hell with Sherry’s assistance if he lost. However, he wasn’t the same since then. The worrying behaviour he had shown before had given way to long brooding sliences in which he would stare into space his eyes empty and unfocused. Nightmares became a more frequent occurence too, the rest of the occupants sometimes awoken by Yusei’s panicked sleeptalk and screaming and calming him as quickly as they could. A sudden tap on his shoulder breaks Bruno out of his thoughts. He turns to see Yusei staring down at him softly.

“We should… shut down” he says hesitantly. “Don’t forget to backup your work. We don’t want it stolen  do we?” he quips quietly.

By now Bruno can tell that something isn’t right. Yusei’s always been slightly shy but never this hesitant. He can tell that he’s trying to lighten the mood, he’s done it several times before. Especially when Akiza or the twins show worry (which is all the time really). He does what Yusei says nonetheless and guides him to the couch. A tense silence settled on them, Yusei looking everywhere but Bruno. Finally, Bruno’s patience snaps and he makes his way to Yusei, slowing when he sees Yusei flinch and tremble. He gently pulled him up and into a hug. Yusei stiffened in his hold trembling a bit more. Bruno knew how dangerous this whole thing was and if anyone was going to break the floodgates he would. So he leaned a little closer and in a soft voice he barely recognized he ask the million dollar question.

“What’s wrong?”

The reaction was instantaneous, the trembling increased tenfold, hands moved to clutch at his back, expressive eyes staring up at him, breath held. The situation was becoming more and more dangerous, the cold morning air froze around them, waiting for his next move. With an awkward jerk he pulled Yusei closer. hiding him in his chest, but arms lax enough to let Yusei know he could leave. Slience reigned for a few minutes, then, a muffled sob was uttered followed by another and another with shaking shoulders and buckling knees to match. Bruno can feel Jack and Crow peering down from the stairs, ready to take action. He slowly tightens his arms around Yusei, slowly raising one of them up to his hair ruffling it gently in the best likeness of Crow possible and drops his voice to a gentler tone murmuring to him softly. They stay like that for a while during which Yusei shyly raises his head to meet Bruno’s eyes, then rests his head on his chest and lets him rock from side to side. His knees start to buckle once more and Bruno sets him on the couch with his head on his lap softly humming while Jack and Crow make their way downstairs. Later that morning Akiza and the twins were greeted with the adorable sight of Yusei lying across the laps of Jack, Bruno and Crow, sleeping peacefully, Bruno sleeping on the arm of the couch and Jack and Crow casually patting Yusei’s knees. They had a lot to worry about with Yiliaster running all over the place but for now they’d take it one day at a time, for Yusei’s sake and take him to a psychiatrist if possible.

“No” he thought, “no, this just can’t be happening, not now ,why now?!” Yusei thought in a panicked frenzy. He lost, his deck had been been depleted by Jean. He tried his best, gave it his all, but he still lost. All of that hard work and he just wasted all of it. He couldn’t even bring bring himself to look at anybody as he came to the pit. He just collapsed on his seat ignoring everyone’s questions. He had failed to bring his team victory, failed to perform his job as a leader. Tears of frustration and anger began to pool in his eyes. Those spirits from the old momentum, ushio, the city citizens, they were right after all. He wasn’t strong at all, he was weak, so very weak, yet here he was trying to lead his friends, some of the many lives he ruined, into victory. How could he do that when he was barely able to take care of himself?

A sudden tap on his shoulder forced him out of his thoughts. He looked up not even bothering to wipe the tears out of his eyes. Jean looked down at him, smiling gently, frowning when he saw tears. He knelt down and wiped them with a handkerchief. “That was an amazing duel you know?” he quipped. Yusei, for the most part, was stunned. He expected Jean to mock him, like the crowd was now doing. “Seriously that was so exciting, i’ve never seen Jean so fired up like that!” said Brave. “It takes someone really special to make Jean duel like that. Besides it’s not like you’re out completely, you still have another team to face.” “W-we s-still have a chance then?” Yusei stuttered flustered at the compliments he was getting. “Well yeah, there’s a ton of teams in this round. But for now i really think you should go home, rest and regroup as a team, you guys have a lot of potential, you just need to refine your strategies a bit.” Andore advised, “Oh and Yusei take better care of yourself, you look really out of it.” “Was it that obvious?” he asked nervously. The team just laughed in response. “Honestly they said you were nice, but you’re just so cute in real life!” Brave quipped. “Yeah, a total knockout!” Jean said as he patted Yusei’s head affectionately. “Well we gotta go, we’ll see you later,” Andore said. “Yeah, do your best,” said Jean, “after all, I would really like to see much more of you,” he whispered, causing Yusei to blush. He held out his hand to Yusei who hesitantly put his hand on top. To his surprise, Jack’s hand covered his, then more hands  joined the pile. Not trusting his voice at the moment, he signalled Akiza to say something. “To the finals?” she asked with a smile. “TO THE FINALS!!” shouted everybody. Jean took the opportunity to shake Yusei’s hand, very slowly and sensually and winked at him, causing him to blush again. Because he has sure that Jean had slipped him his number during that handshake.

The ride home was quiet for the most part. Bruno had offered to ride in front on Yusei’s D-Wheel just so he could sleep on the way home. At first he refused but later conceeded thanks to Aki’s goading. They rode around him in a protective circle. They realised that day that although Yusei had forgotten it himself, he needed to be protected and cared for too. They were a team after all. They’d do better, they’d prove to Yusei that they could carry their own weight and most importantly that he didn’t have to do this alone.

Sherry sighed as she watched them ride home. “What is it my lady?” asked Mizoguchi. “I think they finally understand now, what it means to be a team,” Sherry responded. “So, does that mean..?” “No, the offer still stands, he’s welcome any time, but I don’t feel as worried for him as I did before,” Sherry smiled.

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