#face model work

Hey, it me :D

People have been accusing me of lying about being Petra's face model from the beginning bc they think she doesn't look like me (that's not how face modeling works, babes) but this is actually hilarious. Like a sitcom plot.

A tweet by Ashly Burch: "Hi! So, I'm queer. One of those old fashioned pansexuals you may have heard of. Probably not a shocker -- like half the characters I play are part of the rainbow fam." reply by New Hologram: "I'm the face model for Petra Forgewoman and only found out this year. I was elated to learn that she is a popular queer character. For most of my career, I wasn't "out"--Many of us aren't out yet when we play queer characters. Happy Belated Pride! 🏳️‍🌈✨tysm for all you do"

The logic behind people thinking I would make up a credit in a major video game 💀

*Sally Field voice* THE WHOLE TIME?! Remember when I got scanned to model for a video game series in 2015 and again in 2019 and they wouldn't tell me which game (until the 2nd scan) or who I was? Well, I was Petra Forgewoman from Horizon Zero Dawn the whole time. I was watching a Let's Play of the new game and Aloy was chatting with someone, and then I realized... this character's lines were similar to the ones they had me say during the reference mocap. So I was like wtf and went to that character's profile page and BAM there was my name credited under model. wtf xD Now I finally know and I'm so happy. They said I couldn't talk about it until the game came out so here we are. I don't have any recent professional headshots to compare right now so have some stylized selfies. I'm Petra, everyone!!!!

Okay, THIS angle really does look like me for sure.

My friend took this shot. I still think it’s so cool that they included my asymmetrical features ☺️

10 years ago, I decided to put myself out there. I hit the ground running with no training or experience. My family expressed their doubts in me and suggested I do something "safer." I was still healing from extricating myself from multiple unhealthy friend groups and a year earlier I'd been officially diagnosed with my first "big" chronic illness. About a year after starting my career, my cat Cleo died from cancer and I was diagnosed with another. Then the next year, another. And another, and so on. Constant doctor appointments and trips to the ER for flare ups I couldn't manage. My entire career I have been sick at auditions, sick on set, taking hiatus every time my body needs time to recover. I'm on another hiatus right now trying to coordinate a complicated surgery. I'm in a lot of pain every day. I have a PET scan soon because my lymph nodes are enlarged. I'm scared. I was also closeted for most of my career. Back then, it still wasn't really as easy to be "out" in Hollywood, big or small, as queer and trans-nonbinary. Things have changed. These days, there are so many auditions where I can be myself. Even though I haven't worked much the past few years because of my health, I'm so happy looking back at the projects I've been able to do. I shouldn't have had to suffer so much in silence on set, throwing up in secret, hiding my symptoms, trying to time my pain meds so I could still function and drive home at wrap. But I feel proud. And I feel so loved. I think of all the times followers messaged me when they saw me in a random commercial or TV show. The support I get from kind people online has kept me going, especially when chronic illness, disability, and trauma has me isolated and unsure of my future. I hope that my health can get better so I can get back to it. In the meantime, I'm beaming with joy at past projects and the small personal projects I work on during my down time at home. Thank you for the support over the past 10 years. I've grown and healed so much because of it. I'm curious to find out what this next chapter of my life will be like. And I hope I can keep sharing it with you all. Petra gif by @disdaidal