#f.sp

yup I understand that that was kind of a traumatic experience for her and it was a valid concern had it been brought up earlier and up until he went out of his way to shield her from grimm's 2nd attack (which was the only 1 where she had her shield up my bad) for me there's no excusing her at that point.

she said it herself that she was scared and couldnt help it bc "when I think of those eyes it feels like he's turning into someone I don't know" which is honestly so rude considering he just protected her when he didnt need to. to me, him going out of his way to do that reads like he's trying to tell her that he's in control, still in his right mind, and she doesnt have to be afraid of him.

and this page doesnt look like she's scared for him. like at all

she didn't call out his name in surprise, didnt ask what he was doing saying it was unnecessary. nothing. no worrying about him getting his ass BEAT by grimmjow either until a toddler called her out. his hollow wasn't even an actual problem in this fight! it was only about winning and then getting out of there.

now this has me wondering if subin knows anything...

ikjun was walking away and she stopped him just to tell him it was raining... with a smile on her face? he was obviously upset with the assumption he made about the patient being abandoned by her father but the thought of hanging out with songhwa easily cheered him up. is she aware of that? even the fact that songhwa loves the rain?

she rejected him in the first episode of s2 yet we were only given more moments between them alone. over a year passed but I don’t think ikjun even tried to let go of his feelings for her until ep 7 when the fire burning in the same frame as him, pine-fully watching songhwa walk away to sleep, is suddenly out when it’s his turn to go to bed.

since then their outings arent highlighted as much. yeah it’s mentioned in passing but instead in the next episode we’re shown ikjun slowly leave (and slowly shut the door behind him) without saying a word or even a small pat on the shoulder when songhwa suddenly walks up closer to him, which was something he could do for the security guy who lost his mom. I read other opinions about this moment rave about his ability to read her and give her the space she wants but it doesnt make sense when she broke the distance herself yknow?

he’ll always support her when she needs it and for however long its appropriate. he already offered her a ride home but I think he walked away without a word more for himself than her. 

he kept is eyes on her, maybe waiting to see if she’ll face him too (she is right on the line) but before he could wait any longer he makes an almost painful expression. it could mean a number of things, including “what am I waiting for?” 

in episode 9 iksong parralleled with jongsu and rosa again. we see the two older friends walking like they always do, holding hands to help each other over obstacles, and letting go without skipping a beat; and that’s where ikjun and songhwa differ. 

if it was just friendship between them it wouldnt have been highlighted the way that it was. the close-up is fine had that been the only thing but the lingering? songhwa being the one to let go all at once with an “ah. my bad.” ? the awkward tension afterword? the way she stared at him? the girl barely blinked and unconciously dropped her arms when he started running ahead without her. 

I might be nitpicking the details but this the other example to my point that he’s trying to distance himself. compared to how relaxed songhwa looks ikjun stood his ground, even took a little step back and loosened his grip in the close-up. I don’t doubt he still has feelings for her considering he had to work up looking at her after they held hands but he is not going to cross the line. this time it’s songhwa making things awkward because she wants more from him. that face she made could be her finally realizing that. 

I think it’s so interesting that songhwa started drifting when ikjun changed the subject, which is something he’s always done in order to prevent her from shutting down at an awkward situation. in s1e10 when he first confessed and noticed her discomfort he readily brought up something else to erase the tension and it worked like a charm. it also worked out when he was asked if he ever liked her when he went out to dinner with her team and looked SO pissed at chihong for bringing it up again lol. so for her not to take the opportunity and instead just stare at him and wander in her thoughts? there’s been a shift.

I think if he had hugged her after she walked up to him when she told him about her mom she would have accepted it. If he had continued holding her hand and ran the rest of the way to safety she wouldnt have let go. like, even if they only have 30 minutes to spare she’ll happily take the time to spend with him. he makes her feel “so... great” and “...happy” but she drew a line and he’s not going to disrespect that. he’s even drawing his own line now.

if she wants the most she can get out of him, if their relationship is going to finally evolve, she’s the one who needs to take the next step and I hope she will.