I dont really know where else to post this so...
I think i have trichotillomania.
I just spent the better part of an hour pulling out an entire section of my eyelashes. By hand and then when i got frustrated because i was sure there had to be one that wasnt sitting right (spoiler alert: there wasnt) and then just... Proceeded to make a whole section of my eye essentially bald of eyelashes.
I know its one event but its not really something new for me. I've always kinda obsessively tweezed my eyebrows too. For the majority of eight and ninth grade there was an on going joke in my friend group that you could just wipe my eyebrows straight off (i joked about it too dont worry). But the kicker is, i was going through the worst of my depression then. And quarantine hasnt exactly been peak mental health for me. Long story short its been kicking my ass, especially recently because i havent actually even left my house in over a month and the last time i did all i could do was sit in the car while my parents grocery shopped.
I dont know, i guess this is really my only safe space to shout into the void largely unnoticed and not feel like such a freak and a failure (which is what prompted the eyelash pulling). I already want to cry just thinking about having to go downstairs and have my mom see what I've done but at least here i can kinda just... Put this out there for vague accountability. Honestly i still have the urge to pull more out but im trying not to
