The all-new 2027 Müllenheimer Sunfish. But enough about numbers. Let's talk stats.

SEATS: the 2027 Sunfish has 4 anti-homeless benches and two folding chairs for the drivers.

GAS PORTS: the 2027 Sunfish sports 3 different gas ports. All three must be filled should the car want to run. Each tank holds 100 metric gallons of quality petroleum.

STEERING WHEELS: the 2027 Sunfish has two steering wheels. Gone are the days of accidentally reversing into oncoming traffic! Now, if you wish to reverse, too bad! Instead, you must exit your chair and move to the steering wheel on the opposite side, where you can resume controlling your sweet ride.

DOORS: the 2027 Sunfish has one door. We've taken note of Tesla's suicide doors and raised those tech-bro cucks the Müllenheimer Suicide Net Doors (Patent Pending). These entryways of the future open DOWN, providing boarders of the Sunfish with an easy walkway to get into the 4-and-a-half foot tall chassis. Be warned, the handle is high up, and the ramp the door creates is STEEP.

MISC: the 2027 Sunfish runs at 4.7 GHz and can overclock to 5.1 GHz. It comes equipped with 32 GB of DDR5 3200 MHz RAM, and has two screens equipped directly above the windows in lieu of rear-view mirrors. The screens can either show what's going on behind you, or play videos from Müllenheimer Foobee, our new oil-centric streaming service.

GAS MILEAGE: What you've all been waiting for. Our scientists have been (WILLINGLY) hard at work for the past several weeks, uninterrupted. The result of this grueling work? Our magnum opus: a car with zero miles per gallon. The perfect vehicle.

The 2027 Müllenheimer Sunfish cannot move unless all three gas ports are plugged in simultaneously. Starting at $710 (oil upside down kinda).

Thank you.

The first blueprint of the wondrous vehicle is attached below.