Sep 16, 2015
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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losing followers like
"leaving hogwarts" makes me feel this weird mix of sadness and comfort and it's so hard to explain
x
And my panic attacs are officially back; hooray!!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
on the outside I may look fine and calm…. but on the inside its a explosion of every emotion possible and I’m not sure how much longer I can keep it all inside… this sucks so much😭😖😡😔
Do you ever feel like settling down and starting a new family and life? I know you can't replace your old family, but still, do you ever think 'what if?'
She couldn’t mask herself behind her persona when she was asked this. She had tried to think of some way to respond in a carefree, yet neutral sounding answer. But she couldn’t think of anything to say at first. She looked down at her hands, and clasped them tight together and set them loose again. She did this for a few moments before she looked up at the faceless man. She doesn’t want to answer, but her dark eyes said it all as they fought back tears. It was through them that Elia Martell came out.
“…Don’t ask me that.” she said softly. Of course she felt like settling down. Of course she felt like starting over and leading a quiet life. Deep down Elia knew, that this life was not her. It never was going to be for someone like her, someone so gentle-hearted. No matter how many deals she makes, how many dimes she would drop and how many connections she would make, nothing would change that.
Nothing would ever replace her family in her heart. She wouldn’t let that happen. But she is still a woman that has needs. Sometimes she imagines having someone at her side. Someone who would support her, someone to deal with the ugly things she’s seen and the bad parts of her. Someone to make her laugh and care for her, and to never leave her. And if there was a god that was truly forgiving, maybe they’d have a kid. Even if she couldn’t birth one herself, maybe they could adopt. And they could live far away from this cruel and dangerous world. It seemed like the perfect life…
…but she’s scared.
She is scared because who would ever love a woman that’s supposed to be dead, and someone that could never go back even if she wanted to. She is scared because she may not be able preserve that happiness. But most importantly, she is scared to lose it all over again. She’s scared of another shootout destroying her. Whether she dies with a bullet to her back, or dies inside when she sees the dead bodies of her family all over again… either way, she would be powerless to protect them if that would happen.
And she never wanted to feel that way again.
“I can’t think ‘what if’ because there is no ‘what if.’ Even if I wanted it… I can’t ever have it. Not with how I live or what I’ve seen.” she answered solemnly. This was a cruel business matching in an unforgiving world. She was born in it, almost died in it, and now she has to play in it until she wins or she dies for real. Not just because of her own desire for vengeance… but she feels like it’s the only thing she can do.
Torn - One Direction Judges's Houses