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Hey guys, what’s up, my name is root beer surge!
Realized as I woke up today - I'm finally living in the internal world I've needed for so long - instead of putting on face & high energy that isn't *me* for the external world.
External world (social, public, loud, people...) I don't miss you at all.
This is an awesome thing for me to discover.
Ever since I was a young teen I thought I *needed* to be a part of the external world. I thought I wasn't good enough because I wasn't as quick, cool or charming as others "performing" (or not, just more comfortable externally). So I fought it and faked it. I wasn't comfortable as that person, and that only brought confusion & lack of space to hear what I truly needed.
And now I go to my part-time job alone with just my boss, and I come home and I'm with my partner and my dog.
And now I have a farming opportunity that I am swoooooning over and on-my-knees grateful for. Which means some social interaction, but over the earth and fucking organic veg. Okay! There's my passion, and me.