Apr 22, 2016
happy earth day i wish i was a raincloud so i could evaporate in the sun and cease to exist
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happy earth day i wish i was a raincloud so i could evaporate in the sun and cease to exist
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Positive Experiences Well tonight was interesting lol, not in a bad way though! But the cycle has started again...sort of like the Krebs cycle does in order to create NADH to make ATP...wait...am I studying on tumblr-- WAIT...I'm thinking in bio again oh god make it stop!!! Tuesday, November 17, 2015 -I did nothing all morning...that's a lie I studied bio bit besides that -bible study was so great:) I'm so sad I only have like two more though!! -music was kinda boring, but then again I'm not a fan of jazz so that might also be why -chilled and read stuff for neuro before chorale:) -although my voice is still shot, and it will be until the end of the semester I think, chorale passed by quickly -I had a chance to eat dinner!! They had french onion soup!!:D -FYIS was actually useful for once, wow strange -did my neuro paper, or at least part of it -the Bohemia meeting went well, god I hope I get into this house!!! -finished my neuro paper!! And it looked solid (update: I got it revised and it indeed is solid) -then I called it a REALLY early night, took a shower and fell asleep to tetris:P
Positive Experiences
YOOOO TODAY WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY CHILL BUT MY VOICE IS DEAD BUT THATS OKAY BECAUSE IT WAS A GOOD DAY AND SO WAS YESTERDAY
Monday, October 5, 2015
-breakfast was lovely, and sleeping in made it all the more better, plus i just love french toast and charles and i had a lovely conversation about tea
-bio was okay, my bio teacher seems ready for fall break as much as us:P she also wants me to do phage hunters which seems fun!
-HKW was fun, had a lot of interesting convos
-studied in the music building before recit and i felt better about the subject we were covering
-recit was good, i felt super good about the quiz
-chilled and watched some heroes, cuz ya know, i didn’t have anything to study
-also took a good nap
-went for a long walk with matt and bri, that was great:)
-dinner!!! yo we had a party in the caf lol
-dancing!!!! AHH THAT WAS SO FUN OMG!! and i danced with a really hot guy and he gave me a hug ahhh
-more waltzing afterwards with will, that was actually really fun
-gym time with mallory, will, and sarah, OMG IT FELT SOOO GOOD TO STRETCH OUT MY LEGGGS
-then will and I took a couple hours to fuck with science and we made a really good theory thats actually testable and im so pumped about it! This could be real science in the making, even our thesis!
I am the weakest. And because I can accept that I am the weakest means that I am strong. Stronger than anyone else. Because strength is not how you can fight the injustice of this world, but rather accepting that there are things that you can and cannot do. Acceptance is a very complex thing. It doesn't truly mean that you will truly take in everything and be content with it. It is much more intricate than that.
Me
The funny thing is, when I get really sad, I often repeat one phrase in my head over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and so I can get the feeling away, I have to fill an entire page many times over with the phrase. I live the phrase, breathe the phrase. I am the phrase but the phrase is nothing. I am nothing.Â
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Who am I
What's the point is writing this. Even at this moment I am thinking of what I actually want to say and am thinking of how to write it. I am copying my thoughts. Even if I do write down the truth, am I being truly truthful to myself?
I am thinking "what if someone reads this?". Part of me wants someone to, and only a little of me doesn't, But then I wont be able to write down how I really feel. I guess that's why I am writing this, to change, reflect and get rid of these narcissistic thoughts. I've just read what I wrote back and I sound like a twat. I feel like a twat. And even now as I am writing, I am expecting other people to find and read this. But I know no one will. No one ever does.
we’re all just specks of dust and maybe that person is a shittier speck of dust but we all mean nothing. and you’re going to die alone.
my brother trying to comfort me