#explination

During the first trip, I created purple. It was my first time taking acid and I wasn’t entirely certain what to expect. I had prepared notebooks and highlighters and pens to draw and write and such. I started just scribbling with the highlighters in my sketchbook but I found that there was a color I couldn’t quite grasp. Upon texting a couple people who were aware of my being high, one of them suggested the color purple. It was the right color, but I wanted a specific shade that only one of my pens could make. I realized later that it was the same shade of purple that a highlighter makes. All throughout the night, I grew obsessed with purple and wanting to hold it close. Eventually, he became personified, and it was only as I was sobering up that I put two and two together that he was melancholy. And he was the beginning of the colors and their subsequent meanings.

The third trip is when I found blue. The second was one which was more emotional and I spent more time lamenting my woes to a friend. But I found blue by simply creating chunks of each other the colors I had. Blue stood out among the rest and it was very difficult for me to look away from. Within time, I had a drawing of them and I felt giddy. But I wanted to draw them larger, but I felt like I was messing up every time. It was only in the image that is shown here where I realized what they were and how I needed to approach drawing them for them to work. Blue is beauty, specifically the ever changing nature of it and the many forms that it can exist. So to create blue, I had to stop thinking that lines were out of place and I instead began to think about these lines as new opportunities for their beauty. I quite enjoy their final image because you can see the difference they went through from pencil to pen to highlighter to sharpie. They are also the only color that does not have a concrete gender to them.

The fourth trip gave me orange and pink together. The highlighters themselves enticed me, but I was unsure about which one I wanted to pursue. I quickly realized that I could not separate them. But then I was caught between the ideas of making them one person with two personalities or two people who simply could not be without the other. It took a bit, but I realized that the latter was the way to go, so first came orange. Something about him was easy-going and sort of lazy and it was at his visual creation that I knew what he and pink were meant to be. But I refused to finalize it without the visual creation of pink. It became clear to me that orange could exist without pink, but pink could not exist without pink. However, pink’s existence is to make others happy and that is often done by hiding orange, thus he hides the foundation for his creation. And orange does nothing because he is waiting for pink to realize that what he is doing is wrong. Thus, they became the personification of truth and lies.

The last three were made with the most recent trip and their connections with each other finally became clear. But we’ll start with one at a time. First came yellow. I initially wanted red, but my brain blockaded me from red, telling me that yellow needed to come first. When I first tried to give shape to yellow, I over defined him with the sharpie and he simply looked sad. I failed him, but he was one of those that a little more care and patience would make him more brilliant in the end. It wasn’t too far into his creation before I realized that he was meant to represent word, the language we use, and more specifically, what it means to me.

Next was red. Red was a color that I had been very cautious of in the past. When I’m tripping, the corners of my vision is tainted by colors that are directly related to music or emotions. Red would always come up in frustration or other less than good scenarios. But I finally realized that red needed the space to become a person as well. So I gave them that space. They were less difficult to personify than most of the color because red is a color that I have come to know quite well, though the explanation of why is a it too personal for this stream of consciousness. And thus, red is the personification of reality.

Finally was green. Green was a bit of an enigma for me until I figured out how they were all intertwined. I knew what they looked like and the energy that they held, but their relation to the others made little sense to me. So I had to understand how they all wove together before I had meaning for him. 

And that brings me to their connections with each other. In the center is blue and the rest of the colors circle around them. They are at the center because the colors around them and their meanings are beautiful to me in some regard or deserve to have some sense of beauty applied to them. At the bottom is yellow and at the top is red because word protect me from reality most of the time. At the left is orange and on the right is pink as they cannot be separated and must be close to each other in some regard. Furthermore, pink is the protection from orange. Cast between pink and red is purple because melancholy is something that is a reality for me but is often dressed up in lies. That’s a little difficult to explain past that. Finally was green and that was when I finally determined who they were. I knew that he was meant to be in between yellow and orange. And it clicked that green represents storytelling. Because storytelling to me is the taking of my truth and casting it through words. And to follow the pattern, storytelling is my protection from melancholy.