#explanaition

Hello there!

The difference between demisexual and demiromantic is that demisexual describes a person who can only experience sexual attraction when having formed a close emotional bond with another person while demiromantic describes a person who can only experience romantic attraction when having formed a close emotional bond with another person. So the only difference between the two labels is that one describes sexual and the other one describes romantic attraction.

Demisexual and demiromantic have slightly different flags due to both labels belonging to the Asexual and Aromantic spectrum respectively. To show that connection to the Spectrums and to symbolize the slight difference in what demisexual/demiromantic describe, the demisexual flag has a purple stripe, similar to the purple colors of the asexual flag, and the demiromantic flag has a green stripe, similar the green colors of the aromantic flag.

Hello there!

The difference between those two is, like the names already mention, that one refers to romantic attraction and the other to sexual attraction.

Somebody who is demiromantic only experiences romantic attraction (like being in love or wanting to date/hold hands/kiss somebody/have a romantic picnic) when they have formed a strong emotional bond with somebody.

On the other side, somebody who is demisexual only experiences sexual attraction (like wanting to pleasure/be pleasured by the other person/have sex with somebody/thinking sexual thoughts about another person) when they have formed a strong emotional bond with somebody.

This strong/close emotional bond that is required for demisexuals and demiromantics to experience attraction is basically like being best friends with somebody. Only when truly knowing the other person and trusting them a ton, then there is a possibility that sexual or romantic attraction is felt towards the other person.

Hello there!

I think I can answer both of your questions with basically the same answer. A person is demisexual when they are incapable of experiencing sexual attraction until they have formed a close emotional bond. Only then the possibly arises that a demisexual person could experience sexual attraction. The same goes for demiromanticism, the inability to experience romantic attraction until a close emotional bond has been formed with somebody.

A demisexual person can still enjoy kissing or sexual intercourse without being attracted to somebody since neither of these actions are necessarily based in sexual attraction.

I can relate to people becoming more attractive the greater my emotional bond is to them. I think it is most common for Demi’s to date one of their best friends (at least it has been like this for me).

All in all, the most important thing to consider when questioning if you might be demi or not is when you think you will experience attraction. If you only experience attraction (or could only imagine experiencing attraction) to another person after a close emotional bond was formed, then it is rather likely that you are demi.

(this is the questioning demi anon) for reference: I’ve literally only crushed on best friends, the only exception to this rule is a celebrity who I was obsessed with for a LONG time before. I definitely feel sexual attraction, it’s just romantic that I’m confused about.

Hello there!

Okay, in the simplest terms, demiromantic is a romantic orientation existing on the Aromantic Spectrum. A demiromantic person is incapable of being romantically attracted to a person before they have formed a very close connection with another person. Basically, a demiromantic person is Aromantic until this connection is created.

This close emotional connection can be understood as what kind of a connection one would have with a best friend, aka the demiromantic person trusts the other person with a lot of things and knows a lot about the persons personality, more than a person in a normal friendship would be trusted and known.

It’s important to note that the existence of this very close connection does not guarantee for romantic attraction to be experienced towards the person. It only creates the possibility for attraction to exist. Let me explain that a little different. Alloromantic people (those who are not on the Aromantic Spectrum) do not experience romantic attraction to people all the time. Though, they are able to think somebody to seem romantically attractive. Like a Prince Charming type of deal. Let’s say a demiromantic person has managed to have a close emotional connection to 5 people at the same time (which i think is extremely rare). Of these 5 people it could be that the demiromantic person only experiences romantic attraction to two. After forming a close emotional connection with somebody, romantic attraction can be just as random as for Alloromantic people.

Since you mentioned celebrities, it is very rare but possible that a demiromantic person has a crush on a celebrity. This is possible due to the amount of public information that exists of celebrities. If a demiromantic person takes this information to heart and deems the celebrity as very trustworthy and likable due to their personality, then a crush could develop.

I hope I was able to explain it simple enough. If you have any further questions, I would be more than happy to be further of assistance!

Hello there!

I’m sorry that she didn’t take you serious when you tried to tell her about your orientation.

When trying to explain what being demi is I generally explain that I am incapable of experiencing attraction before having a close emotional connection with somebody. The word “incapable” is important in this since it signifies that I am not just choosing to not have sex or be in a romantic relationship but it is actually impossible to experience attraction unless this very specific thing happens first.

I would further make sure that the person understands what a “close emotional bond” is which I generally describe as a closeness which is similar to what one would have with a best friend. It’s being on a level that you can trust a person a lot and know a lot about their character.

Lastly, I would mention that it is possible that I still don’t experience attraction towards a person even when I have a close emotional bond with them. The close emotional bond is only the key to unlock the door to attraction. If the door opens is not connect with the existence of the bond. It might open. Or it might be stuck for some reason. The close emotional bond enables us to experience attraction but does not guarantee it.

I would also suggest to explain something like this when all participants are a bit more sober just to make sure that they understand that you are being serious with this and not just drunk.