#exo scenes

•Some of the boys on the team had offered you a ride home but •You didn't exactly trust them enough to get in their car •You were just about the only cheerleader who didn't have a boyfriend and didn't have a history of dating any of the jocks •And you knew they knew that for a fact •You also knew your mother would go crazy if she saw you getting out of a jock's car •Your mother had been a cheerleader in high school and your dad a jock on the football team •Her mind was set on you having it the same way •Thus, there u were at the bus stop in a unfamiliar neighborhood •At 11:30 in the evening •You were a little on the edge as the bus seemed to be running late and the streets were getting darker •You pulled your jumpsuit jacket a little closer to cover you from the cold •You were still in your cheer-leading uniform  so the skirt didn't do much to warm your freezing legs •You were beginning to become annoyed at how late the bus was, muttering as you checked the timetable again •"The buses don't come to this stop anymore" •The voice that came from beside you nearly made you drop your phone in fright •You looked to your left to see a boy who looked your age but he was dressed in black and had a leather jack that just screAmed 'delinquent!!!' •"Its weird you don't know that, everyone here does" he stepped closer with a little smirk in his face •He brushed back your jacket a little to see your school cheer-leading uniform, making him scoff •"That's why" •You pulled your jacket closer again and turned away from him, hoping he would get the hint and leave •But he didn't.. •"I'll take you to one that works" the guy said and grabbed your wrist " it's just a few blocks that way" •You looked to were he nodded his head, gulping when you saw the dark street with only 2 flickering street lights •"Come on. I live around here ,I know the way" tugging you in the direction, he began walking. •Your mind was going into panic mode as you tried to pull your wrist from his grip. •"I-it's okay, I'm just going to ask my parents to pick me up" •"why bother them at this time of the night" he mused but nevertheless continued to drag you into the dark street. •You started to thrash more but the guy only gripped your wrist harder, other wise seeming unfazed •You had no idea where he was taking you and the fact that he was dressed like a delinquent made you even more worried •As you continued being dragged you noticed someone walking in the opposite direction , towards you •you were about to call out for help from the person until they got closer and you recognised their face •You weren't really sure what you expected to happen when you squeaked out as they passed •"B-Baekhyun!" •You noticed the guy dragging you stopped as you called Baekhyun's name •You heard Baekhyun click his tongue as if in annoyance before turning to look, not at you, but the guy who had dragged you down the street •"Baekhyun? I didn't even recognised you. To think you you nearly sneaked past me" the guy scoffed then looked between you and Baekhyun •"You know her?" The guy pulled your arm to make you stumble closer to your classmate •Baekhyun looked at you, his eyes narrowed as if genuinely trying to remember who you were, his eyes widened slightly after a bit •"We go to the same school I guess.." Baekhyun murmured and looked at the guy •"Thought so, she is a cheerleader after all" the guy said "I'll let u go since I'm busy. Get lost" •Turning, the guy pulled you again to continue down the street. •You looked back with tears threatening to spill from you eyes, pleading Baekhyun one last time for help •But he turned and walked the other direction •Baekhyun felt bad •But he thought he shouldn't help u because u were a cheerleader •From his experience, cheerleaders were only pretty girls with one too many opinions to rub in people's faces •She's a cheerleader, who cares what happens to her .." Baekhyun kept mumbling to himself, trying to stop his better judgment from helping •But I mean... you were a flower girl cutie.. •"Hey! Minhyuk!" •The guy holding your wrist stopped to turn around, his face meeting with a fist •You were pulled back, away from 'minhyuk', Baekhyun's arm slinking over your shoulder protectively •"Don't let the word get out but she's one of our girls" Baekhyun said and spun around ,with you still in his arm, and began to walk •After Minhyuk had yelled a dramatic "you'll regret this Byun!" •He had disappeared when you looked back •Baekhyun pulled his arm back when he saw Minhyuk had gone •Brushing it off as if your shoulder had been coated in glitter he didn't want on his leather jacket •"Tha-" •As you went to thank him he began walking again •You quickly caught up with him, trying to stay in sync with his fast pace. •He side glanced at you with a deep sigh •"Why are you following me?" •You nearly tripped at his unfriendly voice •"T-to say thank you.." you whimpered, •Baekhyun nearly felt bad because You looking like a scolded puppy •But he had a reputation to up hold here •"Okay, I acknowledge your thank you. Now stop following me" Baekhyun huffed and stomped off (for more accurate words) •Fortunately for you, the street was straight and lead all the way back to the bus stop u were at previously •Unfortunately for you, it really did seem as though the buses weren't going past the stop •You texted and called your parents, asking them to pick you up •But it seemed as tho they had gone to sleep assuming you'd get home safe •Not knowing what to do you sat down on the metal bus bench •And cried •You had never been so scared In your life as you were for past 20 minutes •Before you had been neutral about delinquents and the school gangs •But now u hated them •At least the jocks tried to be charming.. •Even thinking of Baekhyun made you sad •Even though he helped you get away from the guy, he had acted so cold •No one really acted like that to you... so you wondered what u had done to make him not like you •You sat there crying and regretting your decision to turn down the offers you got from people to drive you for a little bit longer •Until the sound of a motorbike ripped through the quiet streets •To your surprise you saw it stop in front of the bus stop you sat at •The person sitting on the bike took of their helmet, revealing Baekhyun judgmental face. •"This bus stop isn't used anymore" he stated mater-of-factly •Somehow you could hear him over the loud engine •"I know" you whimpered and wiped the tears from your eyes before looking at him again •"Do you know where another one is?" •Baekhyun felt a weird clench in his chest at your soft voice, you sounded so lost and he felt the urge to help you again •But you were a cheerleader .. •"It's past 12, the buses have stopped" was all he said •you sobbed again and looked down at your phone with a little hiccup •"M-maybe I can ask Jongin to pick me up.." you murmured, nibbling your nail as you stared at the jock's contact •"Jongin?" Baekhyun spat in question "the football jerk?" •You looked up and nodded hesitantly •Baekhyun sighed and held out his helmet •You timlted your head at him •And he sighed again •"I'll take you home. I only have one helmet and I don't want your rich-ass parents to sue me if u die" •"T-thank you Baekhyun!!" •"Whatever, just get on" •When u sat on the seat behind him, after rather awkwardly getting on, you realised how freaking scary motorbikes were •What the hell do I hold onto?!?? Was your first thought •Baekhyun, however, was wondering why u went holding on yet, so he twisted his body to look back at u •He realised u were genuinely confused and not waiting for him to say it. •"Pretend you like me for a while and back hug me" he said with a small scoff •That confused you till the motorbike started and you naturally clung onto him •Welp •You fell in love with motorbike rides that night •The wind in your hair felt nice •And just the sound of the engine I'm your ears •You had to tried to stop yourself from snuggling into Baekhyun's back •But  your arms were already around his waist •And his broad shoulders looked so welcoming •Yeah, so you ended up snuggling into Baekhyun's back •After directing Baekhyun to your house •You were a little sad when u arrived •Becuase you had so much fun on the ride home •you took off the helmet and gave it to him as you got off the bike •"Thank you Baekhyun, for everything" •Before he could say something like "whatever" you pecked him on the cheek •"You're a lot nicer than people say you are" •Your words and little kiss stunned  him •So  you took that as a chance to wave and run inside giggling •Baekhyun was left outside with a red face, muttering to himself • •The next Monday, your group had gathered at your usual table and chairs in the school cafeteria •They were talking about the usual gossip and rumors •You hadn't told them about your encounter with Minhyuk or your moment with Baekhyun •Because you were scared they would let the story spread •you were scared for yours and Baekhyun's reputations •Neither of your groups would be pleased to hear what happened •So you kept it to your self •But when your friends shifted to gossip about the gang •More specifically Baekhyun •You couldn't listen to the nasty way they spoke all of a sudden •your chair scrapped noisily against the ground when you stood up •All 8 girls looked at you, surprised •"I'm getting strawberry milk" •You stormed off after that, leaving them confused •You got a strawberry milk from the vending machine before going outside •You sat on the grass next a storage room for the gardeners equipment •Sipping your milk box angrily •It was a small walled in area where you assumed no one would really have any purpose walking by •Of course, Expect a wondering Baekhyun •He saw your little figure sitting there •You had a cute little scowl on your face as you squeezed the pink milk carton •It made his heart freak out like it had on Friday night •He couldn't stop his feet from pulling himself over to you •But once he arrive in front of you he realised he had no idea what to say •Luckily, for him •You spoke first •Oh! Baekhyun!" You looked up, the scowl disappearing from your face •Eventually Baekhyun sat down as the conversation started going somewhere •And you realised,, •Your heart was freKing out •You were enjoying your time spent talking to a delinquent •Jokes on you guys though cause •Baekhyun was freaking out too •Because he was enjoying his time spent talking to a cheerleader •You were both so caught up in whatever the hell you were talking about •That u didn't hear the bell •Or see the time •till you realised •"Wait..why is the sky orange?? WhAt tIME iS iT?!" •Baekhyun couldn't help but laugh at your panicked state as u scrambled up •youturned and started walking backwards to say goodbye to Baekhyun- •You tripped •And twisted your ankle •Baekhyun couldn't even laugh though •Because he was so worried when little tears escaped your eyes •"Hey, don't cry! Crying's not gonna heal it, -" •And as his face went red at the little nick name that slipped his lips •It stopped the tears welling in your eyes •"So you do know my name! What a relief" •Baekhyun carried you to the front of the school where his bike was •But as you were getting on, your stomach made this embarrassingly loud sound •"Are u hungry?" Baekhyun laughed at your red face •"I only had the strawberry milk.." •So you decided to get something to eat before going home to your parents who , you knew, were gonna scold you for skipping class •But as u were about to go into fast food joint Baekhyun suddenly stopped you •"What's wrong?" You asked, watching as he looked through the glass door and quickly pulled you away •"My friend is working there. I can't be seen with y-" •But as he said it, he realised how harsh it sounded •"I-i mean like-" •"It's okay, I get it. You're right..." •Baekhyun felt his heart shatter at your down turned eyes that mirrored slight hurt in them •You ended up at a convenience store •Baekhyun said you could pick anything u wanted and he would get it for you as a means to say sorry •You picked a strawberry milk and a nice lil' kimbap •You sat outside at the little table and chairs •Baekhyun was sitting with his legs turned towards the road, not facing you but had his body turned slightly to you •You were pretty surprised when he casually took a sip of your strawberry milk through the white straw •But really, that's what brought you closer •Him being super casual made you feel comfortable, like you'd never be judged with him •It had, however, gotten pretty late without you noticing so when you finished Baekhyun took you home •But when u got close to your house you tapped his shoulder, realising your parents would be waiting for u •"C-can u drop me off just before my house" •Baekhyun was about to ask why till he realised •Oh, •You were a cheerleader •And he was a 'delinquent' • •You didn't see each other most days after both becoming hyper aware that people from your school were all over the neighborhood •You only got to meet near the gardener's storage-room on the days he texted you that he was there •In class, if he ever came, you could only exchange a short glance without looking  too suspicious •But weekends •Oh damn weekends were great •You could run off with Baekhyun on his motorbike to a quiet place far from school and places of any interest to high school students who weren't sneaking around together •You would often end up star gazing as you talk •In fact •5 weeks after the night Baekhyun had first taken you home •You were laying on a hill of grass beside Baekhyun •Staring up at the stars that littered the dark blankets of sky •There was a light breeze, making the air a little chilly •So Baekhyun had given you his jacket to drape over your legs •Everything has seemed so calm and right, that in that moment Baekhyun felt like he could do anything, •And it was the most daring of things that he did •"I think I'm in love with you" •His heart nearly stopped when you paused and looked over at him •"I think I love with you too,  Baekhyun" •He had never felt so revealed after you said that •Baekhyun had never experienced a kiss so soft yet so meaningful •And neither had u •That night, as you gazed up at the stars you were able to snuggle close, wrap your arms around each other and hold hands •Both silently agreeing •No one could ever find out

•But, as if the universe decided it had done one too many good deeds for you both •It got harder •At school, the Monday after becoming a couple (if that's what you'd even call it) trouble came a' knocking •"Watch where your going pretty boy" •Chanyeol, a rather tall and equally as intimidating school delinquent, had challenged Jongin •The football jock had been distracted while gifting you a strawberry milk and accidentally backed into the taller 3rd year •You felt yourself flinch back a little at the pure aggressive tone in the intimidating boy's voice, making the strawberry milk nearly dropped from your hands •But Jongin was far from as intimidated as you were apparently •Chanyeol with one last scoff went to walk off •Until Jongin pulled him back •"What? What do you keep jumping at me for?"Chanyeol glared at Jongin then glanced at you •"The little cheerleader slut not enough for you?" •That really stung, •You wondered for a second if that's how people really saw you • Jongin attempted to defend you but it only seemed to attract more of Chanyeol's attention to you •Because before you knew it Chanyeol had slung an arm around you •You were surprised because •Woah, he smelt a little bit like Baekhyun •You almost thought that if you closed your eyes your mind could fool you to think Baekhyun was next you •But he was way taller and it intimidated you, made you feel like you were an accessory under his arm •It didn't feel like Baekhyun at all •"Look at that, she's even letting me touch her" •You hadn't realised how lost in thought you had become •"how much more would you let me?" •Before you could even process what he had said to you another, familiar, voice interrupted •"Quit wasting time Chanyeol" •Baekhyun was glaring at Jongin, but you saw the small,more serious side glare he sent to chanyeol before pulling the taller boy •It was a pull as if to say "let's go" but really he had meant as a "don't touch her" •As expected, Chanyeol dad fired another comment to Jongin, taking his arm from you but otherwise dismissing Baekhyun •Baekhyun, as Jongin and Chanyeol finally lashed out at eachother, silently asked if you were okay •To which you nodded hesitantly •He could tell you weren't •And that you needed someone to whisk you away and tell you Chanyeol was just spewing nonsense •He could tell you were effected by it •Which made him angry at his friend and himself •Because he couldn't do anything to help you in the moment you needed him the most •To make it up to you, he had waited around the school after your cheerleading practice •After making sure all the other cheerleaders had gone, he snuck up behind you •Wrapping his arms around you and practically shook you in his hold •your laughter tickled his ears pleasantly even after he had let you go •"I'm starting to like your cheer-leading uniform" •"I'm starting to like the leather jacket" •"You didn't before!???" •In the end tho •you had cried your eyes out onto his shoulder •You asked him what other people thought of you •And why Chanyeol had said those things to you •Because you were constantly worried about what other people thought of you. •You weren't really sure why, •Baekhyun explained to you that Chanyeol was taking a stab at Jongin, not you •And that he was talking about any of the cheerleaders, you just so happened to be the one there •"Hell, everyone knows you're the only one with you're v card and you're pretty much the school's flower girl" •But when Baekhyun finished he looked at u to see your face was completely red •"H-h-how did u know..that?" •"Oh, Honey..." •he kissed your puffy cheeks and stole little pecks as he held your hand till the tears finally stopped leaving your eyes •"You don't need to worry so much about what others think of you, love" •You tried to keep Baekhyun's words in your mind all the time •But it was hard to do when you were constantly sneaking around •Because really, You were both afraid of what others would think...

How was it? plllleasseee let me knooow

Rather than seeing less of Sehun, you somehow saw more of him. He seemed to run from his parents, who’d come immediately to care for him and the other affairs that came along with death. They had put up a picket sign and were figuring out how to sell a house quickly so they could return to their day jobs. His father, who was quite handsome for his age, seemed particularly detached. He drove between cities, staying for weekends. Those were the days Sehun would stay out longer, begging to just rest on your roof for a few more minutes- to look at the stars for a few more minutes.

You remembered standing near him at the funeral. He hadn’t shed a tear about it, telling you he was trying to be strong. He said he wasn’t going to let this hurt him but you saw how his body ached. The muscle beneath his jaw shook as he looked down at her in her coffin, nails painted a beautiful deep red as she liked it. She wore a dress covered in yellow spots, little shining dots that scattered around a deep blue dress. You wondered what you he was thinking as he stood beside you, hand in yours and holding it so tightly. You wondered what he was thinking as hi fist clenched when she was lowered into the ground.

Mostly, you wanted to cry for him. The town had suddenly taken to him and Grandma Oh. They gave him hugs and told him thank you for caring for her, told him they were proud. They offered to give food and time, offered to take a few things off him and his parents hands. It would have been kind, you decided, if you hadn’t heard a few of the town gossips who’d just given him the most sincerest condolences whispering by the dinner table with wine glasses in their weathered hands.

“You know,” one started, bright red lipstick smudged over her lip line, giving the slightly taller one a fixed look as always, “I want to say I feel bad for the kid but how can I? Yes, the death is obviously tragic but…”

“She was still cracked, you mean,” the other said, whispering lower. Was it out of shame?

Red lips raised her glass and nodded feverishly, whispers low but harsh, “and did you see him during the burial? Not even a tear.”

“Cracked as well.”

They both nodded, taking sips out of their glasses before their eyes fell on you by the table set aside for food. You had slammed your teacup onto your plate, a small crack forming up the side where the handle was. Your eyes were on theirs as well and you could feel the way they froze up, colour draining from their faces. They both turned away, slightly embarrassed you hoped as they detached themselves from their spots but not before they gave you a small nod and smile.

“You okay?” Baekhyun’s hand came to your elbow, catching your attention as he came from behind you. He kept the contact as he came around to face you, free hand coming to unwrap your fingers. He didn’t meet your eyes as you spoke.

“Do you hear this shit?”

All he could do was nod, slowly uncoiling your fingers as he murmured for you to relax. He rubbed at your shoulders slowly, silver glasses falling down the bridge of his nose. He looked as if he’d heard it before and it broke your heart. Was no one standing up for either of them?

“You can’t do anything about it. People talk all the time,” he reasoned quietly, still trying to give you comfort. It wasn’t working.

As you moved out from under his touch, you scoffed. “They’re just acting like Sehun can’t hear them and he can. It’s not fair.”

Baek gave you a small nod, not saying much. He still didn’t like Sehun but you could see he was keeping his comments to himself. All he did was tell you to go and find him and that he’d text you later, giving you what seemed like a smile and walking to his table.

Maybe it would have been better for Sehun not to know what people said. You didn’t tell him but you knew he heard it. He kept hearing it, having the words haunt his steps, or getting upset with you when you would tell the pharmacist to fuck off during a town meeting as he whispered in the back row. He would just tell you it was okay, that it all was okay and that he didn’t mind. You minded and maybe you projected that for a while but he was less and less enthusiastic to go outside.

It did affect him.

On his best days, he would continue to babysit with you. He said the kids made him feel better, like he could see pieces of himself when he was younger in them. He would lift Kihyun into the air like an airplane and his laugh would ring through your house as Inguk chased after them, asking for his turn. You would play in the pool, a child on each of your shoulders and they’d wrestle until they exhausted each other. He tried really hard being a happy person for them, to be as exciting as before but he was having difficulty. It didn’t particularly help that, after a particularly tiring day, you four were on the couch and Inguk lifted his head off Sehun’s chest to touch his face.

So softly, he said, “I miss Grandma Oh.”

“Yeah?” Sehun asked, raising his eyebrows a bit. He was calm on the outside, no part of his body tense either. You look at him, over your book and saw the way his eyes seemed to glisten until he blinked the shine away. His hand grasped Inguk’s, who was tired and had messy hair from his partial nap. With a sadness filling his tone, he nodded so slowly and held Inguk’s hand gingerly, murmuring, “me too.”

On his worst days, Sehun would stay inside. He would ask to just lie on your bed for a little. You didn’t know what to say or do, and he told you he just wanted to be somewhere quiet so you left him alone. You would sit on your stool where the light was the best and fix up little paint blots. You would draw at your desk or read by the window. Sometimes you could feel his eyes on you but you wouldn’t turn to look at them. It would only make him look away and retract. Though, sometimes you would just climb in bed beside him and hold him. That seemed to make his muscles relax but his brain still worked at light speed and you didn’t know what to say to help him, not to mention that he didn’t particularly talk much when you asked him how he felt.

Though, your only breakthrough was about a month afterwards. His parents had been coming in and out now, leaving him mostly alone. They wanted him to come back into the city with him but he refused. You watched the conversation over an icy dinner table with over baked potatoes and gamey meat. It was the second time you’d met his parents as Sehun’s partner and you couldn’t decide if they had taken to you, mostly because they seemed to ignore the fact that you were there half the time.

“I’ll stay here until they sell the house then,” Sehun decided, not looking up at his parents as he cut his slab. He was having a hard time, the meat not giving in. His mother gave you a small overlook before sighing at her son, lips pressed together.

“But there’s nothing to do here anymore.”

Okay, maybe they didn’t like you, you decided, nostrils flaring just slightly but trying to keep your temper in check. Sehun only exhaled, placing his utensils down rather roughly and giving both of his parents a face of steel.

“I’m staying whether you think I should or not. It’s better than me doing nothing in whatever suburb we live in and trailing along behind you to your frigid business lunches anyways.” He wasn’t lending much kindness in his tone, being quite distant with his parents. His father was the one to speak, straightening his back and stretching his cashmere sweater over his white button up.

“Sehun, son,” he started, trying to reason but there was something threatening in his voice, “maybe you should listen to your mother on this.”

You didn’t feel it was your place to say much but there was Sehun, beside you and positively growing with irritation. You wondered how he made it these past years, if he even stayed at home or if he was left alone often. The thought made you frown and slowly, your hand found his over the table. Your fingers laced just slightly, making him put down the fork in his left hand. His temper didn’t deflate but his tone did and that was all you needed as he explained why he was to stay. His parents, with disapproving eyes, didn’t agree but left him alone for the time being. Perhaps in making yourself visible, you’d avoided an argument between the three.

Your mind reeled as your brushed through your hair that night in front of the mirror in your bathroom. You’d taken all your makeup off, realizing you had been wearing more recently and staring at your face made you feel bare. It was as if you’d taken of a mask that didn’t cover you up but brought out more of you and there you were, barren and naked and still, the thought didn’t scare you. Yet, the knocking at your window did cause a little scream to bubble out through your mouth.

You ran from your bathroom to your window, seeing a shadow and sighing. The messily done hair could only be one of two people and, pulling apart the curtains, you were glad to see it was Sehun. He was sitting on the small ledge that you used to climb down from your roof, waiting patiently as you lifted the window for him to climb in. He sure took his sweet time, sluggish and wearing sweatpants despite the heat. His shirt was loose and hung from his shoulders, dipping so you could see his chest as he climbed inside. His hair was fading out.

Rather than moving in and causing a storm, he stood by your window sheepishly. He leaned on your frame and tugged just slightly at the curtains that rested under his legs. His eyes, deep and swirled with darkness, were bearing into yours. You were surprised they didn’t pay any attention to the length of your legs with the shorts you were wearing, or the bareness of your shoulders from your thin shirt. No, they were focused on your face, solemn and trying to hold themselves back from what they wanted to show.

Taking his lip between his teeth, he bit down before slowly asking, “can I sleep here tonight?”

It caused your eyebrows to arch up, unsure what he meant or wanted from it. He didn’t make a move to clarify it and you didn’t know what to say. You weren’t particularly uncomfortable with it, you just didn’t want your brother busting into your room to steal your toothpaste like he always did and then snitching on you. A little tilt of your head was all Sehun needed though and whatever was holding his shoulders up fell from beneath their weight. He curved forward, exhale ripping past his teeth as his hands came to cover his face. He seemed to show years of fatigue, dark circles you hadn’t noticed before peeking out from under his fingers. You didn’t know what to say to help, standing there looking like an idiot looking at him.

You hesitated, taking a moment before murmuring, “lie on my bed and I’ll turn off the lights, okay?”

He nodded, seemingly dragging himself across the floor. Despite his weight, he lay down lightly and watched you pace as you tidied your room, put your face cream on and hurried to the light. He was still curved inwards, the feeling of his eyes small and non judgemental. He seemed to need you more than he meant to in the moment, begging for your attention as you hustled. Then, those dark eyes were lost without the light and, as you bumped into a few things on your way to the bed, only his breathing kept you on course. Even his arms that snaked around your body were an anchor, pulling you onto the soft white sheets and asking if he could keep you there.

All you had to do was run your fingers through his hair, which had never stopped interesting you- never stopped making you fall for him. He rested his head on your stomach, laying diagonally as you lay straight. You placed a small pillow beneath your head to prop it up and waited for him to speak with bated breaths that were lost in the darkness. It took moments for the darkness to distill, allowing what little light there could be from the moon and passive streetlights that appeared ever so often down the road. Still, you could only make out the best of him, his shoulders and the way his ribs rose and fell with breath, the curvature of his chin, his long legs. As you tried to massage love into every touch, he seemed to relax and the moon cast deep blue across his body.

“Sehun,” you whispered, begging yourself to be quiet even though you didn’t want to be, “what happened after I left?”

He raised a shoulder to shrug before curling in closer to you. With a light bite of your lips, you only pressed as much as you could, hoping to get some sort of response.

“Did you guys get into an argument again?”

“They just don’t- they don’t get it,” he huffed, trying to keep himself temperate, “they keep thinking that this is just another business transaction. You know they won’t stop talking about how much the funeral and ambulance costed? They go on and on about it.”

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, not knowing what else to say. You’d never experienced this loss, this feeling of nothingness. Nothingness was an often occurrence but not this way. You hadn’t had someone ripped from you and this was hard for you to completely understand. Though, you tried. You let him speak and hoped it was enough.

“I kept wondering why they were so cold when I was younger but I think I get it now. They’ve never loved anyone and, on the off chance they do, they don’t talk about it or show it.” Sehun sounded so bitter, like he’d figured out why he couldn’t stand them. You didn’t know what to say, keeping your tongue between your teeth but nothing came out. There was just the steadiness of his breathing and your heartbeat, which matched perfectly.

Slowly, quietly, he muttered, “my parents were never what I wanted to be. My grandparents were everything to me and now they’re gone; I’m alone.”

“Hey,” you managed, finding your voice. His words stirred something within your stomach, pulling your hands to reach out and pull him the slightest bit up. He straightened, turning to look at you with cheeks damp. You hadn’t even noticed the cracking in his voice, nor the small spots on your shirt. All you cared for was the way he looked under the moonlight: so utterly broken and tired. He looked so defeated and it broke whatever heart you had inside of you.

With your thumbs running under his eyes slowly, you shook your head and tried to console him. Little pricks formed in your eyes, though you tried to push it down as you spoke. “You’re not alone, Sehun. You’ve never been. You had your grandparents, you have Chanyeol, you have Dongmin and Soojin, all those university friends you have. They’ve called you and asked to see you. They care. They’re all here for you, okay? You’re not alone.”

“Maybe,” he hummed and you didn’t know what else to say. Though you tried to convince him, he didn’t seem much too intent on believing what you said. You blamed it on how upset he was, knowing he’d come to his senses soon. Not knowing what else to do, you watched the way he moved from lying down to sitting on the end of your bed. He looked perched to leave and you didn’t want him to. Not at all.

Shifting down, you came behind him and reached for his hand, fingers entwining easily. He was as soft as butter and he melted in the way you spoke, giving you a nod the moment you asked if he wanted to stay for the night. He didn’t want to show you he was upset, rubbing under his eyes before clearing his throat and taking to lying down next to you.

After he settled into his spot, arms snaking around your waist again, the room went silent. Yet, you could still hear the gears in his head turning and turning in a never ending cycle. He felt so restless and, when you turned on your side to face him, he had his eyes on you. They were half-closed but intent. He wasn’t thinking much but you and it showed in the way his eyes seemed to adorn you with a sadness you hadn’t been able to recognize in them before. It was something he hadn’t dared to show until that night, where his thumb came to draw a line across your cheekbone and he beckoned you closer with nearly silent words.

“I have you too, right?”

Whatever tears threatened to fall fought harder against their barrier. Allowing a tear by, you nodded and brought your head under his. He wrapped his arms tighter around yours and you figured maybe you could blame that for the constriction in your throat as you held him back and muttered a cracked, “of course you do. Of course.”

His chest, rising and falling in irregular patterns, was the only indication you had that he heard you- that he was comforted. His body seemed to allow you to fit right into him, creating locks when you were a key. You couldn’t feel the water forming on his cheeks, though you supposed he knew you knew. There wasn’t a secret in his heart you didn’t hear and not a secret you didn’t want to hear. It was a moment you only believed existed in movies but then again, it was so imperfect. There was no lighting. There was no stunning leading lady. There wasn’t an easy solution. Yet, there was him and there was you and for each other, it was all you needed.

You looked at Sehun from the passenger seat, with his mouth pressed into a line and his eyes squinted once again under his cap. The sun was high and would’ve convinced you it was later than it was if it wasn’t for Baekhyun’s snoring from the backseat. He was cuddled into a bundle, clinging onto a blanket because Sehun’s air conditioning was too high for him. A hat was placed on his face to hide him from the sun, though his mouth was slightly ajar from how long he’d been asleep. Sehun wasn’t impressed, though he didn’t say a word. He only gave you a small look from the corner of his eye which caused the corners of your lips to crawl slightly up your cheeks. His struggled not to follow and so, he turned his attention back to the road. As you looked out the window, Chanyeol’s face came to your memory.

He rolled down the street a week ago to stay with Sehun for a while before having to be called back for work. He suggested a party, eyes nearly as big as his ears on his small head. He looked goofy but charming, especially when his lips stretched to form a smile. With a black hoodie on and jeans and an infamous black cap on despite it being night time, he’d asked to meet you one last time before he left. You remembered seeing Sehun laughing from your window before coming down, Chanyeol’s hand smacking his shoulder as they giggled like kids.

Ears sticking out of the cap’s rim, the opening of your door alerted both of them who looked genuinely content in each other’s presence. Sehun’s shoulders were fully relaxed which you hadn’t seen in a while and it gave you whatever hop was in your step. So comfortably, his hand came into yours as you said hello to both men, taking a spot beside Sehun. Chanyeol’s hand was perched on the top of the car and he looked so casual, leaning there and looking at you both.

“So you’re coming, right?” He looked at you and Sehun as if you were the only people he could see, smile lazy but constant with little indents in his cheeks. You went to open you mouth before realizing you didn’t know what he meant.

“To what?”

The two men exchanged looks before Sehun exhaled deeply and muttered, “I forgot.”

“You forgot?” Chan’s mouth dipped down to create a wide circle as he shook his head. “How could you?”

Sehun attempted to console his friend, who had dramatically placed his hand over his eyes and turned his head to the sky. “I was just so caught up with you being here-“

“Oh cruel world!” Chanyeol interrupted, hand finding his heart and clutching the material there, “perhaps we should just cancel! Our sweet Sehun, he’s forgotten us all.”

Sehun, chest quivering from laughter, reached out and placed his free hand over Chanyeol’s, professing, “I’ll never forget again, I promise.”

His friend, hardly containing himself, came up with some sort of punishment and you couldn’t help the way you laughed at them. Your voice rang clear through the street and it seemed to give Sehun some sort of joy as he looked back at you and clutched your hand the slightest bit tighter. Chanyeol’s eyes, also on you, felt like a sunset: kind and soft in all the right ways while being impossibly radiant. It was a wonder seeing the two together, Sehun’s hair fading but still true to its colour.

“We’re having a party, y/n,” Sehun explained, tapping Chanyeol’s chest as he continued, “this one’s planning it for me and all my friends when I come back this weekend.”

Chanyeol nodded, looking down the road behind you before coming back to your face, saying, “we would’ve gone down together but I’ve got a work thing.”

Sehun mouthed ‘work thing’ and used halved quotation marks, hardly avoiding a swatting from Chanyeol. The two only found it funny, playing off each other under street lights that barely illuminated them. You couldn’t help but think you could stand to see Sehun smile like this again, so leisurely and happily. He seemed without a care and you were grateful for Chanyeol as he wrapped up the conversation and got into his car. He was adamant on getting to the city before midnight but it wasn’t going to happen. He just wanted to let you and Sehun have your own time alone for a while.

As he sat in the seat, picking at his wheel while Sehun ran inside to get him a water bottle for the road, you leaned on the car. You didn’t know what to say so you didn’t say a word, uncomfortably comfortable looking at the stars in the sky. Chanyeol didn’t seem to mind, keeping silent until he cleared his throat, voice coming low.

“I hope Sehun hasn’t been a burden to you, y/n. He’s very upset and very heavy sometimes and I’m sorry you had to bear him on your back alone, especially through the worst part of it.”

Arms crossed, you blinked and mouthed like a fish before forming the words, “he wasn’t a burden at all.”

Chanyeol’s eyes caught yours through the windshield and he smiled sadly, giving you a little nod. “Then good. He really likes you and I don’t want it to be a mistake.”

“Mistake?” Your eyebrows raised in time, unsure where the conversations was going to take you. With the widening of his eyes coupled with the fast bumbling of his words, you saw he meant no harm. He, just like most people, didn’t think before he spoke. His hands tightened around the wheel out of embarrassment, redness forming on his cheeks in an instant.

“That’s- that’s not what i meant, you’re not a mistake, of course you’re not. I just worry about him. I want him to be happy and he is with you. It hasn’t happened in a while, is all,” he trailed off, taking a bite to his lips as his eyes moved from your face to the road, where it disappeared into a dark distance spotted with lights.

“You’re a very sweet friend, Chanyeol,” you hummed, not knowing what else to say. Your hand rested on his shoulder through the opened window and he looked at you from under his cap with a sheepish smile. He didn’t believe in your words at all but he didn’t reject them and you supposed that was alright for the moment.

Sehun’s hands were filled with other objects Chan left in his house as he came outside and to the other side of the car. He looked at you for a moment through the open window with a bit of a smile, talking all the while to Chanyeol about how he’ll message him before you came as he placed all of Chanyeol’s items on the passenger seat. Chanyeol took to throwing some of them in the backseat haphazardly, exchanging one final joke before saying his goodbyes. Yet, before he left, he looked you straight in the eye and, cheekily, told you to invite Baekhyun as well.

“We haven’t seen him in a while. It’ll be fun, no?” His eyebrow moved up, engine running as he waved and said goodbye to a confused self and a slightly annoyed Sehun. He came over to you and scoffed, shaking his head.

“Baekhyun, huh?” You copied Chanyeol’s face, arms crossed once more with a little smile. Though you didn’t know why he’d want Baekhyun there, you didn’t press. It was better to let him say how they knew each other on his own time, though you walking away and saying goodnight sure hurried along the process. Or, at least, made him tug you into his arms for a slow kiss, nose bumping against yours as he did so. You both had ridiculously small smiles stretched across your lips, leaning to give each other more and more until you heard a slight knocking behind you. You turned your head just in time to see the curtains in your front window shifting and snorted.

Adjusting in your seat to look at Sehun properly, which dealt with loosening your seatbelt and folding your legs awakardly, you stared at his profile. With a small nudge from your foot, you caught his attention and his very quiet ‘what?’

Whispering back, you hummed, “so why did we invite Baekhyun?”

“Because Chanyeol asked,” Sehun responded very simply, shrugging like he didn’t know. You only clicked your tongue and shook your head.

“Not good enough.”

“Guess we’ll never know then,” he crooned, shrugging again with a coy look on his face. You only pouted, poking him once more with your foot before he lightly tapped it to tell you to stop. Your lips pushed out further, legs retracting into your body as you turned away.

Quietly, jokingly, you mused, “so mean.”

You only got a little smile in return, an airy chuckle filtering past his teeth.

The details of the night were quite blurry seeing as you didn’t really seem to look past Sehun. You were slightly on edge with the amount of new people you were meeting, most of them friends of Chanyeol’s and Sehun’s from a competition they entered long ago. They all seemed to be well acquainted and comfortable, arms slinging around each other or calling each other pet names. There was a particularly bubbly man whose smile stretched across his whole face and became brighter than any light. You made a point to talk to him when you were left alone for spare moment and found out his name was Jongdae. He was quite warm and you wondered briefly what colour you would paint him if you could.

Before long, you were ripped away from him but not before deciding he was the colour of a light sky. You only hopped just outside, hand taken in by Chanyeol’s very large one only for a moment. There was a gathering of everyone apparently and, from Chanyeol calling people over his shoulder as he pulled you through his apartment onto his patio, it was important. In the middle of the semicircle balcony, there was a small black tin with a fire coming from it. Sehun was focused on grilling a marshmallow, eyebrows furled together and lip pulled in. You found a little smile on your lips, released by Chanyeol and coming over to place a hand on his back as you stood beside him. He used to flinch when you did that. This time, he did not.

Your eyes didn’t meet, too focused on the low burning light rather than the clamour behind and in front of you as a few people came to grab their own marshmallows or just seats near the fire that Chan had haphazardly set up. Your hand ran a little streak up and down Sehun’s back as you came closer.

“Are you having fun?”

You saw him nod from the corner of your eye, shoulder now bumping against his upper arm. Both of your gazes were fixed on the orange light, the cool heat that rose and created small spires of smoke. Patterns formed in the fire and, if you stared hard enough, you could see your future inside of it. There was orange everywhere, apricot right in the middle where your heart lay. It caused your hand to fall from Sehun’s back and somehow find his fingers, holding on lightly so as to not make him feel obligated. Though, he tightened his grip and leaned his head down slightly to nudge yours.

You shifted slightly to face him only to be met with his lips on your forehead. His other hand had placed the marshmallow stick elsewhere, though you heard a light clatter on the floor. Yet, he came to pull you closer and his arms, slow and strong, wrapped around you. Yours came into place as well, elbows at his waist while your hands came just under his shoulder blades. He held you as if he was protecting you, and he breathed so steadily. Even his heart seemed to calm against your ear, matching with yours in an instant.

“Thank you,” he murmured, the light snapping of the wood burning next to you drowning out all other conversations for the time being. You didn’t say anything back, not having much to say. All you did was press further into him, hands sliding further up and eyes closing tighter.

Somehow it felt as if you’d cocooned each other, slowly and surely shutting down the fires that ran through your veins wildly. You’d shut off all routes and forced the wild horses back into their pens, pushing further and further back until all the remained of the fire was between your hearts. There it thrived blue and then white, bound to stay there no matter how many more roads were formed over time or how weathered its restraints got. This was its place, you both seemed to decide, since it couldn’t hurt anyone. Your body stopped sizzling and started living, chin lifting to look him in the eyes.

His lips pressed against yours to seal the promise, once and then twice and then he just looked at you. He brought his thumbs to your cheeks and gave the smallest smile but you saw it in his eyes- in the way they reflected the golden light so his eyes turned the colour of sweetened coffee.

“I’m happy,” he said so quietly, you would have lost it. For the first time, you didn’t struggle to say it as well and that meant the world to you.

“Me too.”

Somehow, food got passed around. Chanyeol was a fan of hot surfaces, seeing as he still had his makeshift fire going, his stove on inside, and was grilling food outside as well. Baekhyun had taken to managing the food inside, though he wasn’t very good at it. You supposed that was why someone named Yixing followed him. His laugh could be heard from the patio, and you thought it was very beautiful seeing a whole band of friends getting together. You hung around Chanyeol for the time being, seeing as he was alone and Jongdae was very, very preoccupied. Sehun was around as well but you couldn’t find him and mostly didn’t want to get lost in the large den Chan had for himself.

As you leaned on the railing, breathing in the partially fresh air beside the barbecue, Chanyeol spoke. He tried making it nonchalant but you knew it was nothing of the sort. Though, you didn’t particularly mind the concern.

“How are you liking tonight?” He was holding a long metal utensil, twirling it around as he closed the hood to stifle the smoke. You offered him a smile as you turned your head, shrugging lightly.

“It’s nice, I just don’t know anyone,” you decided. You’d much rather be home with Sehun, watching a stupid movie or letting him sleep or taking care of Kihyun and Inguk. You missed them quite a lot these days.

Chanyeol chuckled, “yeah, it’s like that. Sometimes we’re a little unapproachable. Next time, it’ll get better.”

You quirked up an eyebrow at that, turning to fully face him. Your elbows propped themselves up on the railing and you fixed him with a look, confused. “What do you mean?”

“They’re just not used to Sehun bringing girls is all,” he explained, lifting the hood and waving the cloud of smoke so he could turn the pieces of beef and chicken, “he doesn’t do this at all. Doesn’t really date and stuff so, you know. There’s reason to be cautious, I guess.”

“And are you?” The question came from your mouth in a rush, pressing the man by accident. You didn’t want to be disapproved by his best friend and somehow, it meant a lot to you to be accepted by his friends.

Chanyeol only shook his head, closing the hood again and grinning. “No, I’ve seen you two. I think you’ve got us all convinced, especially after that show in front of the fire.”

Your cheeks stung a bit and you forced out a little laugh, dropping your eyes to the floor. Chanyeol didn’t really seem to notice, though he did come to stand beside you and nudged you slightly with his elbow. He was being kind, you decided, liking him more with every passing moment. He seemed to be very good in his heart, where all his friends lay.

“Do me a favour will you?” He focused on the goings on inside, the kitchen and living room walls made of glass facing the patio and pressed his lips together for a moment, thinking. “Keep him smiling like that, will you? It’s a hard thing to ask but I haven’t seen him happy in a while.”

His black hat was still on, covering his forehead but his eyes were too bright to be sheltered. Ears sticking out to stretch his comfortable smile again, he focused on you for a moment, saying, “it’s not just you, I know that logically, but you’re a big part of it. I love him like he’s my family, you know. I just want him to be happy.”

“So do I,” you agreed, somehow signing a contract whose terms you’d written yourself long ago. It was only a matter of time before you’d locked his name to your heart, you decided. Today was as good a day as any.

Chanyeol seemed satisfied, small imprints forming on his cheeks and a hand came to the top of your head. He rubbed just slightly before going back to his barbecue. As he did so, he hummed, “then we’re more than good now too.”

You raised your eyebrows once again with the hood. As he clamped his utensil together once more with a silly grin, he gave you a wink through the smoke and said, “welcome to the family.”

There was a large sound of metal dropping from inside, followed by a cacophony of laughs mixed with complaints. It broke your eye contact with the man in front of you, eyes coming to find Sehun doubled over in laughter. His eyes were crescents, staring at the spilled mess in Chanyeol’s kitchen.

“Those asshats,” Chanyeol huffed, shaking his head. There wasn’t a trace of anger in his face though, here was just a small smile as he turned back to his food. A few of the boys as well as their partners came to help Baekhyun and Yixing while Sehun only placed his hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder and continued laughing. You could’ve sworn you heard him call the boy an idiot but there he went and hugged the shorter man. It gave you a little smile.

“So,” you hummed, taking your eyes from the mess. Minseok, who you believed was the shorter, catlike figure, came up to you three as well, taking your words before you could ask them.

“I can’t believe you invited Baekhyun, Yeol,” he started, a little laugh on his lips. His eyes were bright and his hair was dark and he was very warm, extending his hand to you for a proper handshake as Chanyeol shrugged.

“I’m Minseok by the way, we didn’t get a chance to say hi.”

You shook back, though it was uncomfortable for you as you said your name, though pushed the conversation forward with a small, “I didn’t know you guys even knew each other. I’ve known Baekhyun nearly all my life.”

Minseok raised his eyebrows, lips curled upwards and he looked between you two before saying, “then you have to know about the competition he entered. We were all in it for a month or so.”

You only blinked, not knowing what he was talking about. Chanyeol piped up, also seemingly surprised though he played it off well. His eyes were fixed on the grilling meat, new slabs on now.

“Baekhyun sings, right?” He waited for you to acknowledge that before continuing, the small metallic press of the hood down filling the air as you nodded. “We all entered a singers-dancers competition a long time ago when we were in high school. Sehun’s team won against Baekhyun’s because of the better overall vocals and dance, although Baek’s had some of the best on his team.”

“Are you kidding me?” you said before you could stop yourself, slightly in shock. Chanyeol nodded as Minseok turned to point out the people on the teams.

“It was Baek, Kyungsoo, me, Yixing, and two guys who aren’t here right now that lost,” he explained, showing you the men around who stood and talked. They all had drinks in their hands, seemingly at home with the other team members and their former opposition.

“You guys are still friends though?” The question slipped past your teeth without you realizing it, the whole connection seeming unclear. One month of a high school summer couldn’t be so entirely life changing.

Minseok’s pinky was used to point in the general direction of Sehun, who was running a hand through his hair as he talked to who you thought Kyungsoo was. “It was Sehun who suggested we meet afterwards. Said he really liked us since we lived together for that month. I think he got comfortable enough, especially with Chanyeol.

“If anything, it was them two that kept us together.” His smile was soft, looking inside at the gathering. He seemed just as sweet, though more careful with his words than Chanyeol was. He took is time and paced himself, he was calculated but for once, it didn’t throw you. In fact, it made you quite happy. You were learning as much of Sehun as you could in a good light and you were glad to hear it.

“We didn’t do anything,” Chanyeol hummed, looking at the sizzling heat beside you with a focus, “we just suggested it. You all came.”

Minseok only shrugged, though he mouthed some sort of ‘don’t listen to him’ and gave you a smile. Chanyeol didn’t notice it and, as you counted, you found three people missing. Minseok only mentioned two and you frowned.

“Where are the missing friends?” Your question was innocent enough but it seemed to make the two boys sad. Minseok looked at his shoes for a moment before turning his gaze outwards to the city and Chanyeol looked at his reflection in the black metal.

“They moved back to China after a while because of some family problems,” he offered, though you were sure you shouldn’t press. They were upset about it and you made sure to keep your mind from it. Quickly, you tried to find another topic, picking up the strings of another conversation for the sake of filling the air.

“And what team were you on?” You gave Chanyeol a small look from the side of your eye, catching him shrugging just slightly smugly.

“Winning team, of course.”

Minseok, breaking from his ice, proceeded to make a sly comment about how they cheated, to which Chanyeol feigned his offence and they bickered for a few moments. As they did so, you looked past them and found Sehun chatting with Baekhyun once more. He had laughs bubbling from his chest easily, happily at that and it filled you with some sort of comfort. If there was one sight you’d like to see more of, it would have to be him just like that- happy, smiling, laughing. In that moment, everything was painted gold and filmed in your mind just the same.

—————————————————

Cards were strewn across tables and board games were left unfinished. There were many little bottles that dotted Chanyeol’s living room table and his kitchen counters. The entire house seemed to be in perfect disarray, bothersome to no one and politely quiet. Chan took to leaving the two of you alone to clean, claiming he was going to take a shower and come right back. He’d fallen asleep, face down on his bed with his limbs splayed out by the time you went to check on him. He hadn’t even changed.

Sehun leaned against the door frame behind you, your hand still on the knob of the door. His quiet breath hit the back of your neck as he huffed a laugh, murmuring, “typical.”

With his head, he nodded for you to go and you followed his step, shutting the door quietly behind you. Padding down the small hallway that bled into the living room, you were just in Sehun’s long shadow. You walked in his steps, amused by the attempt until he flicked the light off and shot you a small grin. His lips were kind enough but his eyes were on fire tonight, happy and teasing. As he came to try and press your back to a wall, you proceeded to take tiny little steps to your right in an attempt to evade him.

As you escaped his first forward advance, holding back a little squeal as you ducked under his arm and dashed to somewhere in the living room where it was the darkest, you found a giggle building in your chest. It was so unfiltered and so unforced, taken away by the silence of the household and held in your body like some sort of sweetened candy. You continued to repress your laughter, though your lips stretched over your teeth and hooked around your ears as Sehun continued to chase you around.

He thought he cornered you in the kitchen but you only climbed onto a counter to jump past him and into the small foyer. You danced around your shoes and then around his arms, which nabbed at you and held you fast. A small dart of your tongue onto his skin made him loosen his grip for a moment and you escaped yet again, cackling in silence as he called out for you in bated whispers. You were out of breath when you found yourself in the darkest part of the apartment and then arms came around your front and held you to a body made to shelter you of all noise and sounds. You didn’t fight, leaning into his touch and chuckling.

His lips reached your ears, whispering lightly that he caught you. You hummed just as he pressed those lips to the skin below your ear and traced a small line down your neck. It took all there was in you to be silent, though the tilt of your neck for him to see and have more under his touch was enough for him to know. He kept on his small path, shifting the collar of your shirt down just for a moment to press where he wanted. His hands made their way further across your body, securing you to him until you turned to give into him.

There he was, so close to you. His mouth worked in ways that made you wonder how you ever let him stop, lifting on your toes to get further into him. Sehun made a slight sound from the back of his throat, low and curt but it was enough to get you both to start moving. You needed something, somewhere to sit and be- somewhere where the bare pressure of his chest could be felt against yours. You rushed and hit the tables along the way, kicking cans, laughing and shushing each other to be quiet until you hit the large sofa and tumbled forward onto it. His back hit the leather first, chest a cocoon for you to fall into and steady yourself.

He said your name in what could only be the thickness of lust. It dripped from his tongue like a sweet sugar you let fall in your mouth. You clung onto his shirt and then his shoulders when that was removed. He felt like he was made of marble and cinnamon just the same, a solid powder that moved at your touch, that begged for more. There was the pressure between your legs, the way his jeans tightened against themselves, there was his eyes. God, his eyes. Cinnamon, coffee, chocolate, and apricots. He was them all and he tasted of them on your lips.

Letting go of your inhibitions, you let his name past your lips just at the end, when your breath had escaped you and your mind went blank of all but him, And he was there. He came to press his lips to yours, to have your air shared, to look at you like you were made of the most amazing things in the world. He didn’t say it and neither did you. It wasn’t as if you had to at that point, hearts racing to come down and match each other again. No, there was no need. All you cared for was the smile on his lips as he lay beside you, inching closer and closer so he could see more of you.

Perhaps that was the first time you saw him and what he could do,, looking into his eyes to find the man who’d made you suddenly feel so wonderfully okay.

Sehun was ice, cool and hard but soft to touch. When a smile broke out on his face, he became sunshine. You imagined him as a pale spring morning, a chill just covering the warmth underneath. Once, you tried to paint him or, rather, the way he made you feel. It was impossible to understand, colours flying everywhere but none of them harsh. All of it became a horizon with a rising sun made of snow and strawberries and the smell of apricot. There was kindness at the heart of it, around the edges of his face and the curvature of his eyes. There was passion in his skin and the colours that stained it. There was home.

You made it when he wasn’t doing so well and when you felt him slipping from your familiar hands. You tried to contain him in a little canvas in hopes of him coming back to you. You even kept this painting in your room, far from anything that dared to harm it- far from the eyes of judgement that follow you and the fires of your own soul. You were scared he’d never be himself again. You were scared to consume him like you consumed yourself. Your insides burned when inspired, flames licking at the corpse that lay inside: the very same corpse that would become new when he touched you, when he spoke, when he smiled.

And yet, there he was again. You saw the crystals under his skin. You felt the purity of his breath on your skin. You touched the sunset within him and found that he was still in tact. He was whole. He was happy, and you were there to experience it with every new fact you found out and every new friend. You were there and what a privilege it was to be there.

You’d fallen asleep about an age ago and Sehun had been looking at you all the while. The way your eyelids fluttered like wings waiting to take flight made him wonder what you were dreaming. The colouring of your skin forced his hand across your cheek and down until it rested on your arm. You were lying on your side, mouth open the smallest crack and in this ridiculously shocked way- like a fish out of water. He lied across from you, head on another pillow because he knew how particular you were about people on yours. He watched your chest fall and rise and felt your breath on his collarbone. He watched you sleep like it was a movie he never wanted to end- something he’d never quite catch again. You’d never be this young and somehow he thought he might never be this in love, at least not in the same way.

Your arm was between your bodies, palm facing up and fingers curled just slightly inwards. He played with them, flattening them against the leather just to watch them curl again. He didn’t know how many times he’d done it, a silly little smile on his face, but somehow his hand ended up in your own. It was wrong of him to think so but he knew that you were supposed to feel safe holding his hand; somehow you were holding his and he’d never felt more protected. Under the shell of your fingers, he rested the hand that could’ve swallowed yours and tried to fall asleep again. He couldn’t, but lying there next to you was his favourite part of the whole summer.

The way the sun streamed in over the rolling hills and hit your face in that perfect orange that looked like his fading hair, the curtains that danced across the floor but never touched it when the wind blew, the feeling of your hair against his cheek: it all amounted to one thing. There was such a purity that came from loving you, one so hot it burned white into his soul. He didn’t know where it came from or how or why but it didn’t matter. He would let this flame take him if it meant he could have you.

Sehun wanted to laugh at the way he felt, to brush it off and make it nothing, but he couldn’t. It meant too much to him that he should sit there and see you sleep or hear your heartbeat. It meant too much to him to hear you laugh or watch you smile. It meant too much for him to know he was part of the reason you started feeling better and that he brought you out of your own hell and you did him.

With a quiet inhale, he came closer to you. His thumb found a little spot on your cheek to rub at and his lips came to your forehead and there was nothing to say, if only too much to say. He wondered if you knew how much he adored you from top to toe, in such a manner as he never had anyone before. Though, he supposed that, when you flickered your eyes open and focused to see him, you did.

“Good morning,” you whispered, voice broken and throat dry. Your cheeks bunched up as you smiled, eyes closing and arms coming for a stretch. It took all there was in Sehun not to just tell you then, profess it in all ways known to man and unknown as well. All he did was smile back and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, murmuring ever so quietly:

“Good morning, y/n.”