Nov 25, 2021
I think everybody needs to know that somewhere in my childhood something got lost in translation and I believed demons looked like this:
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I think everybody needs to know that somewhere in my childhood something got lost in translation and I believed demons looked like this:
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Its just so surreal to me that for 18 years of my life I was brainwashed and believed so many things whole heartedly, and didn't allow myself to enjoy so many amazing parts of life, and believed with my whole being that life would just be that way forever and now it just isn't? I'm just blown away by the reality that I escaped that nightmare, but also by the fact I was there in the first place?
Anybody else have a really hard time when people are like casually religious. Like I'm not saying this is the right way to think about it, I realize this isn't a fair thought process and I realize that everyone needs their own stuff and sometimes that's faith and it's awesome that they found a way to do that without being brainwashed and letting it consume their lives!
But like sometimes it just feels like when a friend tells me their religion is chill though so it's fine (especially if they try to convince me to go or something). It's like somebody is friends with my ex who abused me physically, mentally, and emotionally and then they're like "yeah but like they're pretty chill to hang out with once in a while."
Once again I realize that's not what it actually is, but does anybody else feel like that sometimes?
so a couple days ago i did the Big Bad of my household (even tho i’ve been pimo for a WHILE now lmao) and looked at apostate stuff. not only is it nice to know that i’m not just being a dramatic asshole and that my feelings are valid, y’all are also some of the funniest motherfuckers i’ve seen lmao. honestly i’m surprised i didn’t explore this side of tumblr sooner
😁 very glad we could entertain!
The first time I ever looked at apostate material I was fully in, and unfortunately the people that made it were purposefully doing things for shock value 🙄 which scared me and I didn't look at it again for years. Then I ended up on the exjw subreddit, which was a much better experience.
Anyway if you ever need a place to vent, I'm around, I don't log on everyday but I always come back eventually 😊
So recently started thinking about my past as a JW again and I feel like I'm suddenly just so mad. I don't even know what I'm mad about exactly, everything I guess. I'm just irrationally angry whenever I think about it. I feel like I've gone a long time being able to just think of it as a weird dream or something and suddenly it just hit me again that it was real and everything I lost to it was real.
Plus today I found out one of my coworkers is an elder. I don't know if bad is the right word, just off center? Anyway I just needed to rant about this somewhere...
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hey why would you day you are ex jw? Not to be rude but like I don't really see anyone calling themselves ex atheists or like ex single or whatever. It just seems like you are hung up on the religion rather than trying to leave it. Also, why do you think your experience should be taken more seriously compared to jws themselves. Would you take an ex scienist's opinion or an actual scientist?
It does seem like you are trying to be rude actually, but anyway, I call myself an exjw because I'm directly referring to my relationship with the Jehovahs witnesses and that I'm no longer associated with them. People do refer to past significant others as exes though so that you can recognize the past relationship they had with that person, also I have met people that refer to themselves as ex-atheist, because atheist is a belief that they historically associated themselves with and no longer do. I hope that clears things up for you.
As for being "hung up" yeah I am pretty hung up on it cause it's left me with complex PTSD and a messed up understanding of the world around me and I still have a lot of healing to do, and to do that I need to accept the impact that my past has on me. I have made a lot of progress though which I'm really proud of!
I dont think my experience should be taken more seriously, I believe that if someone has questions about whether or not to trust a group they should do actual research into their beliefs and their record as an organization, and consider their own ethics, morals, and philosophies and whether or not this group appears to violate them. Also if the group matches up with well known methods of control based on research (the BITE model for example) and also probably avoid any group that hides child abuse.
I share my experience for me, if it helps someone else avoid ending up in the same position as me that would be awesome, but I don't come out here expecting to change anyone's mind, people have to make up their own minds.
OK OK OK. DO U REMEMBER THE NOAH PAPER DRAMA THING. IT SWITCHED BETWEEN PAPERY ANIMATIONS AND LIVE ACTION? THE WOMEN THAT THE NEPHILEM ANGELS FELL IN LOVE WITH AND WENT TO EARTH FOR? THEY MADE ME QUEER AS SHIT. Also the angels literally sacrificing eternal life to go fall in love is so fucking poetic and beautiful to me but also. How do people not even get it. Even if u were a devout witness, shouldn’t the ANGELS LEAVING GOD to experience human things and FALLING IN LOVE and LIFE and SO MANY OTHER THINGS THAT HUMANS GET tell you something??? if the angels themselves want to leave heaven?? If u need clarification on the women I can send a screenshot lmao
I DO REMEMBER, actually I remember the paper part I dont remember it switching to live action, so maybe I was watching a different thing, but I'm doubting it, I got really stressed about like the super harsh stuff god did so I would rewatch that and the video about the hole in the ground that swallowed up everybody, I actually watched that one so many times it exploded in the VCR. But I don't think I remember the women so a screenshot would be great if you still have it (I'm also not sure how old this message is 😬)
Most importantly thought that's a really good point, I dont think I ever even thought about that, but like yeah, they didn't even want to be there, heaven must suck.
I think we'd have a lot less cults if people realized that the purpose of life is just to live.