#existentialism tw

Pandora is, without a doubt, the most distressed by it.

He’s spent more of his life inside the loops than outside of them, by this point. He can’t remember what his life was like before this, before discovering what he could Do. One horrible week for all of eternity- or, at least, eternity as far as a human brain could conceptualize it— your brain starts to lose bits and pieces. Rebuilds and replaces every last cell. He isn’t the same person he was at the start, he can’t be, whoever that poor bastard is- who he was- is nothing but discarded planks and screws. if you lose everything that makes you a person, what is left of you?

@familylightfox asked:

There were some things that overrode the pup’s aversion to strangers. The scent she had caught happened to be one of them. On top of the person’s rapid breathing.

They weren’t a complete stranger. She saw them at the party while following around Murk like a little shadow.

Closer and closer she got until she was right beside them. The reflective part of her vest catching in the light.

BOOP

A gentle nudge of her nose against their shin. Then another before jade eyes lifted to meet theirs. “Sit. Gibbie help.”

Her words came with a paw at their leg, waiting until they took to the floor to climb into their lap and settle in. Deep pressure therapy helped these. They helped Light.

((Medical alert pup to the rescue for panic attacks))

[Panic (But Not at The Disco). || Accepting!]

Ash had been about to take off. About to run, to go wild through the base until they found something. Anything. Anyone.- Their heart felt as though it was about to be crushed, their lungs unable to get enough oxygen. Nothing but panic and terror, dragging them down into an all-too-familiar abyss.

The reflection managed to hit their eyes, first- catching them for the briefest moment, long enough for a nose to press against their shin. Barely-aware but too aware, their head had snapped down so hard they'd felt their neck crack. Trying to steady their own breathing couldn't panic around a stranger shouldn't- but their body refused.

The brunet couldn't run. Not with a paw pressed gently to their leg. A simple command that had them slumping, almost collapsing like a pile of sticks to the floor. Didn't want to be seen like this,

Don't let me die please don't, please, I'm sorry-

Unaware they were starting down their mantra, as a weight settled in their lap. The barely-begun frightened whispers of 'sorry' had barely started before they were fracturing, falling apart. Real.- Real and present and God,...

Ash would be lying to say they'd not whimpered. They'd not briefly begged- but the fluffy one resting in their hold, the feel of another's heartbeat, of another's breathing....

They were starting to steady. Their heart still clenched deep in their chest, their fist pressed over their front as if they could force it to calm- but their breathing began to go down.

"...th-.....thank you..." Like a building about to shake apart, only for the earthquake to halt just before the foundations could snap. Their eyes remained open. Didn't want to see darkness. Didn't want to see nothing. "...'m sorry, I..."

Ash trailed off. I'm sorry I....what? Panicked? Broke down?

Their other hand gripped at their side. Felt the fabric against their hold. Present, just...focus on that. They were still shuddering. Like a leaf in a storm, but at least the storm was easing up.

"...thank you."

now, in reality, it might be easier for him to find and connect with people that can make his surroundings less abysmal. but cyrus is not an ignorant person, he's very observant. even if he had a vast group of good friends there would be no changing his noticing of repeating harmful patterns in personal situations and situations at large.

the fact that his goals are mostly devoid of malice, as egregious as they are, is amazing because ... even though he doesn't care about other people, he's not exactly lying when he says he's doing "what's best for the world".

Sure, the world ending is pretty awful (kinda), but if he wanted to make a change and if he was capable of empathy, he'd probably get a lot less done. which would in turn prolong his own suffering.

          Give this post a ❤ to bestow upon your muse a cognitohazard from Daphne herself (she will look into their future. A future. From one of the infinite number of worlds)

Mystery was a runt of his family. He was not as strong nor as fast as siblings, he could never keep up with their games. But he was passionate to their mission. Desperately he wanted to bring light to his darkened world. On the trips to the sun or moon with his siblings he would collect stars from around the moon or small bits of fire from the sun to bring home. Desperately he wanted to please the King of the Dark World, he wanted to impress his siblings, he wanted his world to be viewed in light as the cosmos they traveled could be. Yet he was not strong enough, he would never be strong enough to do any of this. Even his strongest, wisest, eldest siblings would never be able to bring the sun and moon to their home. Where his siblings accepted this, even joked of the absurdity of their situation, Mystery could not see the humor.

I'm sure that sounds silly to those of you who's worlds essentially only have breed standard but. Imagine being in my shoes. So many sub species that dot the planet, so many evolutionary pathways and flourishing of life.

And it just. Doesn't exist for you guys. Conceptually that's fucking scary! It's deeply upsetting! So many subspecies that just. Don't exist. So many colors that just aren't present.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No matter how they said it, no matter how much they tried to whimper- it wouldn't stop. Their hands were clutching at their head, fingers digging into their scalp. Make it stop. Everything was so far away- their chest was heaving, their heart hammering. They knew they were safe. They were home,- Yagi was upstairs, asleep- they were safe,- but their mind didn't seem to get the memo.

They inhaled sharply- hazel eyes wild as they darted around the room. Couldn't go upstairs. Didn't want to wake him. Didn't want to cause a problem. Please stop. I'm sorry. I'm SORRY. The words tumbled from their lips in fractured English, thoughts tripping into the abyss. All fake-- all fake---!