#exbf!taniel

“By the time you find the book it won’t be relevant anymore.”

“Can we hurry up already? I’m gonna be late for dinner.”

“Yeah my dad will kill me if he knows I’m out in this weather.”

You smiled to yourself as they walked through the aisles. After what he—Taniel— told you about this town, you smile every time you see kids being kids. Too bad that thing will be on the loose again soon. Speaking of soon, you knew you needed to start your closing tasks before the weather picks up.

Outside, the wind zipped through the bare trees and threatened to undo all the colorful lights that adorned rooftops and windows. Besides the kids just now, the store had been empty for a while, yet you couldn’t find it in you to do anything besides sit and think. How could Taniel just sit back knowing that kids are going to die? There has to be something to stop this thing, right? But what’s done is done. You yelled and cried to him. Begging him to do anything but turn a blind eye. You hated him for telling you. But you would’ve hated him more if he let you live in ignorant bliss. God, why did shit like this have to happen to a small town? To you and your…to you and Taniel?

“Excuse me, how much are these?” the small boy asked you.

“Umm…yeah. It’s—I’ll let you have them for two dollars.” You knew you were under charging a bit, but you wanted him to keep his childhood whimsy as long as possible. 

He looked skeptical. “Are you sure? These are pretty big books.”

You flipped through the books on the counter. They were about space, planets, and science. You raised your brows at him as a smile painted your face. “Matter of fact, I think I over charged you. They’re on the house, as long as you promise to spend the rest of your money on a nice gift for your parents,” you gather up the books in a neat stack and hand them off to the boy, “or your friends. Good friends are worth keeping around, you know?”

His face lit up as he took the books from you, “Yeah, I know. Thank you for the books!” His friends teased him about his interests as they walked out the door. 

The silence hit you like the cool air from outside. Reality set in as you realized how bad the weather had gotten. Snow coated the trees, streets, and sidewalks in a thick, icy blanket. The sky was dark, the kind of dark that made the stars stand out.

You hastily started dusting and closing the store. You didn’t want to imagine how awful your walk home would be. So, you pushed it out of your mind and busied yourself with the closing tasks. But just before you put the money from the register into the safe, the unthinkable happened. The power flickered. Once. Twice. And then it went out completely.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you cursed to yourself. You finished locking up the safe and began putting on all your layers needed to brave the storm. Surely, Ms. Walker would understand why the shelves weren’t restocked. 

You fumbled around the store flipping off every light switch in case the power was restored before morning. You zipped your coat, grabbed your bag, and walked out the door. You fumbled to lock the door. “Stupid, dumb gloves.”

After many failed attempts, and finally taking off one of your gloves, you were off on your trek. And it proved to be as difficult as it looked. The wind was fierce and the snowflakes blinded your vision. Your toes, fingertips, and nose grew numb from the bitter cold. Too bad the power went out, you couldn’t even call—

“Stupid. Ugh, fucking stupid!” You didn’t even check if the phone lines were down. But even if they weren’t you couldn’t call anyone. Not anyone with a car anyway. Unless…no, of course you couldn’t call him. You cussed him out and told him you never wanted to see him again. So much for that idea. Now you’re cold and alone, in more than one way.

But it seemed like your imagination wasn’t that far fetched. Through your blurred vision, you could make out the reddish brown van drive a few feet past you and stop. You sighed, out of relief or frustration, you didn’t know. But you kept walking with your head as high as your scarf and hat would let you.

The brown van kept up with your pace. You wanted to start sprinting, but the idea of wiping out in front of him kept you from doing so. “Kill me, now.”

The van slowed as Taniel leaned over to roll the window down. “Get in,” he told you.

You ignored him, trudging along through the few inches of snow. “It’s a long way to your house. Can you please just get in the van? We don’t have to talk.” He was pleading with you now, desperate to know you were out of the cold and safe at home. 

When you pulled up the strap of the bag, he knew he needed to do something. He parked the van, swung open the door, and nearly slipped walking to you. “Hey, can you please just do this for me? Just get in the car.”

You scoffed, “Seems like you want me to do a lot because you can’t.” You hit his shoulder as you walked past him.

He ran past you, stopping in front of you. His face was laced with worry and panic. God, you hated worrying him. “Well, I’m trying to take you home, but it seems like you’re more content with freezing than letting me help.”

“Why the hell do you even care? People die in this town all the time, and you know why. So, what’s one more girl that goes missing in a blizzard?”

His jaw tightened as a look of hurt flashed across his eyes. “Please, I don’t want to fight. Let me take you home. No strings attached,” he raised his hands in the air, “If not, it seems like we’re both going to freeze out here.”

That’s when you looked at him, really looked at him. He didn’t have a coat, gloves, or anything other than his flannel and undershirt. You thought about his offer, not as long as you would’ve liked to, but still thought about it. Your synapses were firing at an alarming rate trying to think of the different outcomes or excuses to get out of this situation. Suddenly, the idea of a kid-eating-clown-looking-ancient-demon coming to swallow you whole didn’t seem like such a bad thing anymore.

“Okay,” you said softly as you turned to start walking to the van. There was an awkward shuffle between the two of you, not knowing if it was still appropriate for him to open your door. After a few cringe-worthy ‘sorrys’ and hesitant hands reaching for the door, he finally pulled open the door for you.

The drive was slower than you could’ve imagined. You knew he was being careful with the roads still unplowed. You curled yourself into the passenger seat, head resting against the cold window. 

Taniel broke the tension. “I’ve thought about what you said. You know…the other day. And you’re right. I understand, you know…” he trailed off. He didn’t know whether he should continue or let the conversation die out like your relationship did.

“Your point?”

“I get it, really I do. I just…I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation. This thing can’t be stopped. It can only be…contained. It’s always going to be here, watching and waiting and…I know this doesn’t make a lot of sense, but you have to trust me.”

“Trust you? You want me to trust you. We’ve known each other for years and you just tell this to me now?” You shifted your body towards him, raising your voice, “I mean, where was this speech two weeks ago?”

He sighed. “I…I know I messed up, okay. But I only told you because I lo—I trust you. It’s not your fight to fight. It’s not your battle to win. There’s nothing we can do but hope It doesn’t get to us. And it sucks, okay? I get it! But I opened up to you. I shared this with you and you took it and ran away with it—”

“So, you’re saying this is my fault?” You interrupted growing more frustrated at the snow, your coat overheating you, and the boy sitting next to you. 

He began to raise his voice to match yours. “I’m not saying that at all. I’m saying that you don’t need to worry about this. About any of it. If you just wanted an excuse to break up you could’ve told—”

“Excuse me? What the hell are you even talking about? I didn’t want to break up! I just wanted things to be normal—”

This time it wasn't you cutting off the conversation. The van hit a patch of ice and started drifting. Taniel, in an attempt to straighten it out, overcorrected it. You screamed as he gritted his teeth and gripped the wheel. After spinning out a few times, the van jerked to stop. You both caught your breath and silently checked the other was okay. 

He broke the silence once again, “Are you okay? Did you hit your head?”

“No…I’m fine,” you sheepishly replied.

He started driving again. “You care too much, you know?”

You gave him your infamous ‘watch it’ look. The one you would pull out when he would tease you about spending too much time reading or picking out an outfit. He always thought you were pretty and smart without needing the fancy clothes or big books to show it.

“You care, and that’s good. You want people to be the best, to do the best. You see the good in this world. That’s what I love about you! You cry when books are dedicated to loved ones, when kids fall off their bikes, or when you see old couples at restaurants. You’re always thinking about the previous owners of the furniture at my Aunt Rose’s place. You care about people. People you don’t even know! But sometimes that’s all you can see. Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. And I’m sorry that there’s nothing anyone can do to fix it. But you don’t need to run away from me, from us.”

A silence fell between the two of you as he pulled into your driveway, putting the van in park.

A smile crept its way to your face. “You what about me?”

He knew it slipped out during his speech, but he didn’t care. He turned to you and gazed into your soul. His hand reached up to cup your face. “I love you. I love you so much it scares me sometimes. Like I don’t know what to do or how to show it. But I love you so much—”

You cut him off, but for a good reason. You grabbed the collar of his flannel and pulled him closer. His soft lips met yours like they had a hundred times before, but this was different. It was sweet and slow, like the two of you silently agreed that this moment should last forever.

You pulled away breathless, “I love you, too, and I’m sorry. I know that I get in my feelings about these things all the time and—”